Erection Nominations 2013

2013 Hash Ballot Nominations
FEATUREDPosted on January 14, 2013 by SnatchSquatch
Greetings all ye wankers and bimbos, your friendly neighborhood Snatchsquatch here with a very important announcement.

Since it is now January that means it is time to start thinking about the Hash Ballot and Hash Erections – as we’ve done in the past, every member of the hash will have a vote for every Chicago Hash they attended with an additional vote for every trail they hared/event they helped plan in 2012. For example, if you attended 10 runs and hared twice, you’d have 12 points (10+2=12) – these numbers count ONLY Chicago H3 events, and not any of the other hashes in the area. I’ve tried to take attendance (along with Chicken, Lifa, and Rainbow), but I’m not perfect. Please take the time to review the attendance sheet as it now appears at the top of this page – along the top of the page you’ll find a tab for “Records” that includes a link to the “2012 Attendance,” please double check that I’ve correctly marked all the hashes that you attended so that you’ll have the right number of votes in the upcoming Erection. If I’ve erred, please let me know by the end of January and I will correct my attendance figures. You have until Jan 31st to contact me, as voting starts on Feb 1st and lasts until Feb 22nd.

Secondly, we need nominations for the Hash Erection – I’ve tried to remember as much as possible, but again, I’m not perfect. Please view the “2013 Hash Ballot Nominations” document that is also located under the “Records” tab on the page – it includes our usual list of awards as well as a space to nominate somebody for GM (please note, if you nominate anyone other than yourself for GM, I will double-check with them to make sure they actually want to be GM, so don’t go nominating somebody as a joke). Just like the number of votes, you have until Jan 31st to nominate somebody for a Hash Erection Award and voting will take place from Feb 1st until Feb 22nd with the awards being given out at Hash Ball on Feb 23rd. If you need help jogging your memory (especially if you get CH3 and TH3 runs confused), check out the “2012 Runs” link, also under the “Records” tab.

As always, thank you for your time, and I look forward to seeing all of you at upcoming hashes.


GM Erections 2012

Chicago Hash House Harriers 2012 Elections Information

From the Accounting firm of Poultry & Chicken:

Voting started for the CH3 Hash Erections on Wednesday, Feb. 1st. You will have a chance to vote now thru Sunday, Feb 19th, 2012. You can vote at the hash on Sundays, drinking practices on Wednesday, via e-mail, or by snail mail.

If you vote via e-mail or snail mail follow the instructions below. There is a new file on the Chicago Hash website called Hash Ballot 2012 it is a Word document, so please download it and fill it out. Next, check the 2011 Hash Attendance located in under the “Records” button at the top of the CH3 website – look up your name on the spreadsheet and scroll all the way to the right. This is how many votes you have for each category. If you have multiple votes you can split them in any way you wish for each category. When you return your ballot via e-mail or snail mail please make sure we know who you are so we can cross you name off as a person who has voted. Once a ballot is cast you may not change your votes, nor are you allowed to vote more than once (even if this is Chicago).

You can turn in your ballot to Chicken Stiffer via email ([email protected]) or snail mail (t. heldmann 2241 W. Ainslie #1 Chicago,il 60625) – all ballots must be received by 11:59pm on Sunday, Feb 19th, 2012.

Hopefully this will give everyone a chance to vote that wishes to vote. If there are any questions or any mistakes on the ballot please let me know so that we can correct them right away.

GM Erections 2012

A Very Special Message From da GM (Elections Info)

Greeting all you wankers and bimbos,
As you probably have noticed, 2011 is quickly coming to an end. Sad, I know, but all good things must come to an end. We laughed, we cried, we said our hellos, we said our goodbyes. All of that sentimental crap. With this in mind, we need to start talking about the 2012 Chicago Hash House Harriers elections.

As we discussed at the last mismanagement meeting (11/9), and which had no objections at the meeting, CH3 will be using the old “points system” that was previously used under the Chicken Stiffer regime (Boo! Hiss! Chicken Stiffer sucks!). The “point system” works as follows – you get one point for every CH3 hash that you ATTEND* and one additional point for every CH3 hash that you HARE**. That’s it.*** Very simple, actually. With that in mind, I’ve uploaded the attendance spreadsheet (as a Google Doc – if Google Docs scares you, email me and I can send you the Excel file) that I’ve been keeping since February (when our records started) and I’d like to ask that everybody take a quick look at it. I’ve tried to make it as accurate as possible, but some time people do slip through the cracks. If you feel like I’ve shortchanged you in any way, please EMAIL ME (DO NOT POST IT TO THE GROUP) and we’ll discuss it like adults – there are a number of hashes that I had to miss this year, so I know for a fact that my records aren’t 100% accurate. If I missed you at one or more hash, please know that this was in no way intentional (unless, of course, you’re continually showing up and not paying your hash cash).

Seriously, please do not come to me and debate the merits of the attendance records of other hashers, I don’t have time for that with both Anthrax and the holidays coming up. This concludes our very special message from the GM – we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

* – ATTEND is defined as showing up to the hash and paying hash cash – you don’t have to run trail, you just have to pay your $8 (or $3 if you can’t drink beer).
** – HARE is defined as help out with the organization and/or execution of the hash in some way – for example, everyone involved with planning PoP, Anthrax, Memorial Day, etc are defined as a hare, even if they didn’t set the trail.
*** – These are not up for debate, if you don’t like the system, please come to mismanagement in the upcoming year and make a case for whichever system you would prefer, but understand that this issue will not be discussed at mismanagement again until after the conclusion of the upcoming election.

GM Erection Results 2011

Here is a list of the hash ball winners in case you weren’t able to join us:

GM – Snatchsquatch
Best Trail – Anthrax Hangover
Worst Trail – Anthrax Trail
Best On In – EZ on the Ass – St. Patrick’s Day
Front Running Bastard – Uploader
Front Running Bimbo – 10 Dix with Wings
Best Beer Stop – Glory Hole – Metropolitan Brewery
DFL – R-TardE
Beer Wench – Corn Star
Non Running Wussy – Calvin Klein
Hash Bimbo – Wizard Sleeves
Hash Wanker – EZ on the Ass
Hash Shit – Virgin Banger and Rent-a-Virgin for having a baby
Hash Couple – Beer Spill Valdez and Mt. Schwiiinga
Bill January – Sin Calzones – White Trash Hash outfit
Best Hash Bar – 4 Trey’s
Visiting Hasher – Return to Gender

If your name is on this list and you’d like your pretty award certificate, let me know. I’ll try to remember who your proxy was and see if we can hunt it down.

Congrats to all the wieners!

On On,

GM Erection Nominations 2011

It’s that time again.. time to think about nominations for this year’s hash ball. The most important category of all is the one for GM!
I’m looking for nominations for the following categories:
Grand Master
Best Trail of the Year (non-event related)
Worst trail of the year
Best On-in (non-event related)
Front Running Bastard
Front Running Bimbo
Best Beer Stop
Dead Fucking Last (person actually on trail)
Non Running Wussy
Hash bimbo
Hash Wanker
Hash Shit (who did something we just can’t let pass)
Hash Couple
Bill January (awarded for obnoxious and debaucherous behavior above and beyond the call of duty)
Best Hash Bar
Best Visiting Hasher
Best Beer wench (new this year!)
Nominations will be accepted until Jan 30, either by email or in person.

Also, there will be a Mismanagement meeting next Sunday January 16th at 1:00 pm before the hash. Location TBD, but it will be near the bar.

On On,

Mismanagement Meeting

MisManageMent Meeting Wed Jan. 13th 7:30 pm @ Lions Head Pub

Hare(s): Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Lion Head Pub – 2251 N. Lincoln Ave
Hash Cash: N/A

View Larger Map

Hash Ballot 2009 –

THE Chicago Hash will have a Mismanagement meeting Jan. 13th 7:30 pm @ Lions Head Pub
2251 n. lincoln ave.
Chicago, IL 60614

Topics of conversation will be

1. CH3 $$$$ account balances

2. Hashball March 6th

3. Nominations in Jan. for CH3 hash awards and GM they are currently in the Yahoo group file section

4. Voting in Feb.

5. Feb. 14th should be CHINESE NEW YEAR HASH maybe make it big because its day before presidents day?

6. March 6th Announce the Wieners of the GM and other hash awards

7. Hash Calendar

8. Need new HARE RAZORS

9. If you have new business you would like to discuss please e-mail me show we can put it on the agenda

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it a couple blocks East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, Fullerton #74 bus East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Lincoln/Belden/Orchard. Parking pretty much sucks in this corridor as the side streets are all Zone 143 permit. You might get lucky with a meter on Lincoln or open parking by Oz Park one block further Southeast.

Hash Erections Results 2009

GM’s- Erin Go Buff and Chicken Stiffer
Best Trail of 2008- 30th anniversary Calvin Klein and Virtually Hung (food, TV coverage, beer stop. for an outrageous price of $8!!)

Worst Trail- 54 BACK CHECK TRAIL (R-Tard-E)
Best ON-IN- ANY HASH at CASA de W’all Bangher on the lake
FR BIMBO- Ginger Snatch
Best Beer Stop- Top of One Handed Typists place overlooking Lake
NON-Running Wussy- Mudsucker
Hash Wanker- Just I-Lean for breaking wrist at Izzy-Dizzy
Hash Shit- 69-cent man for his dead Rat at Chinese New Year
Bill January Award- Horn-e
Best Hash Bar- Beaumonts
Best Visiting Hasher- Hot Lips
Congrats to all winners and congrats to ERIN GO BUFF as the new Co-GM.
[email protected] This is his e-mail if you need to contact Him.

Chicken Stiffer

Hash Ball & Hash Erections 2007

Hash Ball 2007

February 24, 2007

2007 Attendees: Lower Wack-off, Too Loose to Screw, Flying Hooters, Two-tickets to a pair a Thighs, Smell This, Hooked on Tonics, Milk my Yak, Barks on all Fours, Nuttin Bitch, CP, Batteries not Included, Calvin Klein, Spotted Cock, Ballsalotapus, Chicken Stiffer, Odor Eater, Rotten Whore, Erect da Red, Mount me Puh-leeze, Coffee, Tea or Me, Just Lou, Mount Schwinga, Sugar Nipples, Lifa, Princess Labia, Magnetic Muff, Rear Loader, Mud Sucker, Pardon my Flaps, Its Too Soft, Cum in my Assfault, and Virtully Hung.

Well Hash Ball really began at 7:30 pm damn that GM for telling you all 7 pm but with the bad weather I’ll bet most of you were happy with the extra 1/2 hour warning. The Ball went very well and major thanks go out to Odor Eater for the entertainment and Rotten Whore for organizing the event. We had 33 brave Hashers make it out this blizzard of night to be present and accounted for the Chicago Hash Harriers award night and GM election. The hash enjoyed tasty food and plenty of beer someone made out like a bandit and took home a pan full of leftover chicken and pasta. I wish I had a car to drive it home!!!

The Awards were handed out and the winners were:

Best Trail of 2006 – Calvin and Batteries for their Yucca Dance in Lincoln Park.
Worst Trail of 2006 – Ez on the Ass for his trail crossing jailbreak hash.
Best On-In – The Memorial Day Hash at Virgin Bangers and Rent-a-Virgin, with Peterbilt, Smell this, and Calvin Klein.
Front Running Bastard – Happy Ass Grabber
Front Running Bimbo – Flying Hooters
Best Beer Stop – Rear Loader and Horn-E for their 8-beer stop Trail.
Non-Running Wussy – Smell This
Hash Bimbo – Magnetic Muff and her naked hashes
Hash Wanker – Ez on the Ass for paying hash cash in Chinese money
Hash Shit – Mudsucker for gas beer at the Southside parade
Hash Couple – Mount Me Puh leeze and Coffee, Tea or Me
Bill January Award – Boner Malfunction

GOLD WHISTLE AWARD – Its too Soft for going above and beyond the call of hash Duty

And The NEW GM is the OLD GM– Chicken Stiffer

Hash Ball Wound down around Midnight and the hashers trekked through the blizzard of 2007 to get home or to the next bar. One side note was that LIFA missed his train downtown and had to stay at the GM’s house overnight, poor Lifa.

Chicken Stiffer

GM Erections Nominations 2007

This information is for The Chicago H3 nominations and elections in the year 2007. A nomination ballot is currently located in the files section of the Chicago Yahoo Group. It is at:

You must be able to login to access this file.

Nominations will be open from Jan. 7-21. If you look at the ballot you will see that over the past year we have already placed many hashers and hashes on the ballot that were deemed worthy of a nomination by the GM or the hashers at the three mismanagement meetings. If you feel someone or something else needs to be nominated all categories have an other where you can add them. People running for Chicago’s 2007 GM must be nominated and then must accept this nomination to be placed on the ballot. We will close nominations Jan. 21st at the hash.

You will have five chances to vote in the Chicago H3 election. The 2007 election ballot will be handed out at the four hashes prior to hash ball. This should be Jan. 28, Feb. 4+11+18. You also will be given one-chance to vote via e-mail. You can vote at each of these hashes or once via e-mail. Potential a Chicago hasher could vote five times in the 2007 election. Ballots will be collected by a member of the mismanagement committee, and turned over to ITS TOO SOFT for tabulation. The results of the election will be announced at the HASH BALL by the current GM, Chicken Stiffer.

Chicken Stiffer

GM Erection Results 2006

Y’all missed a great hash ball! Here’s what I remember of the

Best Picture: Crash (just kidding)

GM: Chicken Stiffer (be careful what you wish for), albeit Boner
made a suprising last minute rally. Mudsucker write-in votes were
also surprisingly not uncommon.

Best Trail: Anthr@x (I think the free t-shirts, the hazmat suits and
the on-in really helped).

Worst Trail: Sugar Nipples/2Tix – this came as a surprise to no one
in the Motion Picture Academy. This one won by the highest margin of
any voting category. Something for hares to aspire to in 2006!

Best On-In: VB’s Memorial Day (he needs to thank Boner for making
this an especially memorable Memorial Day)

FRB: Happy A$$ Grabber. We need to put Wauksha’s FRB Chain on this
man. That or a 15-yard construction dumpster.

FR Beeeatch: I believe it was Flying Hooters

DFL: Red Snapper? I think she is still trying to qualify for Boston.

Nonrunner: Peterbilt (but the Michelin Guide and Zagat’s give his
trails five stars each)

Bimbo: Too close to call, 2 Handed Stroke? Literally last count
these bimbos were separated by like two votes total

Wanker: scion of Chicago law enforcement, EZ On The A$$

Hash$hit: I think Meister for the shoes dealio

Hash Couple: Boner/Muff (like this was ever in doubt? Altho Mount
Me/Coffee gave them a surprisingly good run for their money)

Bill January: Boner (complete with engraved plaque). He already has
started his 2007 GM campaign with a large donation from Jack

I was drinking a bit that night so feel free to post corrections.
Recently escaped ex-GM TooLoose has the official list.

Party on on,