Category: Mismanagement Announcement

State of the Chicago Hash Address
Monday, January 28, 2008
AP Newswire – Chicago, Illinois

By CH3 GM Chicken Stiffer

This year hashing in the Chicago Hash has been filled with fun and numerous new hashers. The Chicago Hash has experienced 55 hashes this year with 1,675 hashers running or an average of 30.5 hashers showing up per hash. I guess Mouthful of Meat showed up a lot to count for that half-hasher? Data for hash attendance and counts can be found in the yahoo group file section and I’m sure Its Too Soft will work it into the CH3 website. Peterbilt said back in December that he believed this is the largest he has seen the Chicago Hash in years, so I will take his word for it. Many thanks goes out to those that came out to hash and more thanks go out to all of those that laid trail and hared. Remember no trail, but 40 hashers equals no fun and no hash so please take the opportunity to e-mail Batteries and Mouthful of Meat and tell them you want to hare and they will hook you up with a date!!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank our Mismanagement team Calvin Klein-RA, Batteries Not Included & Mouthful of Meat-Hare Razrs, Its Too Soft- Web Dude, Mount Schwiiinga- Haberdashery, and Peterbilt- Phone dude. Without your help and dedication the hash would not run as smoothly as it does. I hope to see some new hashers this year begin to take steps in leadership positions so the future will look bright for the CH3.

Currently the Chicago hash has about $800 in Hash cash plus $400 in Haberdashery. This past summer the CH3 suspended collecting the $1 per hasher hash tax. Receipts from haberdashery sales seem to be taking the place of collecting the hash tax each hash. This means more beer and in the past several months I have been using some of our cash reserves to pay for extra beer or food at hashes. We will schedule a mismanagement meeting in February to discuss the CH3 budget this year.

Last year the hash, as always, started of slow in January 2007 with a heartbreaking Bears loss. We rebounded nicely with the Chinese New Year Hash in February led by Ballsalotpus and some new Sin City visitors that stole the Smell This dragonhead. March saw our annual Hash Ball with the re-election of me as your GM. Spring saw an unusually higher number of people hashing in the CH3, which foreshadowed the hashes of summer. May saw our traditional Polish Constitution Day Hash run by 69-cent man and the Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Calvin, Peterbilt and Smell This Memorial Day hash with over 70 Hashers in attendance. This kicked off our summer well and it seems that many hashers really like these themed hashes so if anyone else has an idea for a themed hash we will support you.

This Summer Chicago experienced its 1500 Hash and 104 people came out to run from Buckingham Fountain to Weeds. Much fun was had and beer was drunk, but Boner didnn’t get laid? Four lady hashers cornered me at the 1500, unlike Boner, and they informed me that they were going to run POP (Power of the Pussy) hash in mid-October. Likes it on the Bottom, Packher Ass, Salty Gash, Mount Schwiiinga, and Ass up for grabs kept the POP tradition running with 65 hashers showing up for their event in October. Halloween saw the costume hash that Bloody Thighs has set for years and oh my God! we saw two Horn-es this day? The year in hashing ended with a great weekend called the Anthrax Hash, which had 114 hashers (new record) participate. Again many thanks go out to those that hashed and helped out running these hashes.

This past year the goal of the Chicago Hash was to get hashers to visit more kennels both locally and across the country. Twenty hashers went down to St. Louis for Green Dress and another ten went to Indy Prom Dress. The Cubs and the Chicago Hash invaded Sin City over the summer. Numerous Chicago Hashers went to Inter-hash in Mexico where Boner was almost arrested, are we getting a theme here? We also visited places like Waukesha, Madison, and DC this year. It will be a goal of this GM to continue these good relations with our neighboring hashes and if any Chicago Hasher will be in INDY, Madison, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Waukesha or Grand Rapids please let me know so I can help you connect with the GM of the respective hash so you can hash!! Even if you cannot get out of town there are plenty of other hashes in the city of Chicago other than the Chicago Hash that you can try. Some specialize in shiggy hashing and others run on certain days of month but all are worthy of running once or twice.

This year we have many things to look forward to in our 30th year of hashing Feb. 10th is the Chinese New Year Hash, Hash Ball is March 1st, May 5th is Polish Day, and The Memorial Day Hash will be May 25. Early in the year Green Dress in St. Louis will hit us on March 15th and INDY prom dress will be May 17th these two events were a blast to visit last year. Sometime in May Waukesha will have their Red dress run as well. We will look forward to the POP running on July 12th or 19th and I have already told numerous hashes I have visited to save these two dates to experience hashing in Chicago during the summer. Will we see the return of the 10-innings of baseball pub-crawl before POP? We will try to make good use of the Its Too Soft’s roof deck once again, and sometime in Oct/Nov Chicago will have its 1569th hash hared by whom? Maybe we can manipulate the calendar to have this hash on Halloween weekend and let Bloody Thighs run it? Finally it looks like Anthrax weekend is on Dec. 20th of this year.

If anyone has a suggestion for a Chicago Hash event please bring your idea to the Chicago GM so it can be discussed at the Chicago Mismanagement Meeting held four times a year. One issue we have is due to the growing size of the Chicago Hash our hares cost have increased to $15-$20 each when there are two hares for our average hashes. We will have to discuss this problem at the next mismanagement meeting because some people do not wish to hare due to the high cost. We also have some new ideas to increase the CH3 membership and will discuss those at our next meeting. Hopefully we will see you at the Hash Ball on March 1st to celebrate the excellent year the Chicago Hash has just experienced. Rotten Whore seems to have hash ball in hand and I looking forward to Milk My Yak’s home brewed beer he is currently making for us.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3- GM

OFFICIAL CH3 Announcement from the GM:
Start time change for some Fall Sunday Hashes
Every year about this time the Chicago Hash begins to ready itself for the time change of the hash to SUNDAYS at 2 pm. Every year also the Bears seem to play at Noon on Sunday which causes many Hasher-Bear fans to miss the hash to watch the game. This year we are very lucky that many of the Bears games will be played at odd hours of the week and day. Hell 3 Bears games are being played on Thursday or Monday night which doesn’t conflict with Sundays at all.

There are three games the Bears will play at 3:15 pm Sunday so on those days and those days only we will move the Hash start time to 12:30 pm with the run going off at 1 pm. Those time changes are on OCT. 21, NOV. 11th, and DEC. 2. This time change will make a total of only 3 Bear games that will conflict with the usual Sunday hash until the end of December. Hopefully the time changes will help keep our attendance as high as it has been and allow our numerous Bear fans to enjoy the hash and their Bears (BEERS!!!)

Besides the hash could be killed if we try to run a circle and sing in a bar during the BEARS game!!

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

Chicago HHH 1500th Run
HOLY COW!!!!!
A new all-time CH3 attendance record has been set at 100+, thanks alot to our awesome visitors and the CH3 diehards!

-+-+-> Saturday, July 21, 2007 – Chicago 1500 THE MAIN EVENT!
Hash Trash is up on the Hareline

Hares: VIRTUALLY HUNG, MILK MY YAK, CALVIN KLEIN

Virgins: JUST STEVE, JUST ALLAN, JUST CORINNE, JUST GALAT, JUST LENA, JUST TOM

Hashers: MOUTHSUL OF MEAT, CANNED PUSSY, SPOTTED COCK, SALTED GASH, PACKhER ARSE, CHICKEN STIFFER, MR. ED, MRS. ED, FLUFFER, ELVIS, ITS TOO SOFT, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, LIFA, TASTE LIKE SHIT, VIRGIB BANGER, RENT A VIRGIN, ROTTEN WHORE, FINGER PICKIN GOOD, DO YOU FEEL PETER?, MAGNETIC MUFF, SIR POOPS A LOT, SPECIAL ED GIVER, 69-CENT MAN, BALLSALOTPUS, SERVING SEAMEN, SOGGY SPARKS, UNALICKER, REAR ADMIRAL, REAR END ID, PUKE SUIT RIOT, SINGLE WIDE MOBILE HO, HOT LIPS, POOPER SCOOPER, FOLLOW THE URINE TRAIL, BONER MALFUNCTION, SEX LUTHOR, DAVEY CROCHET, HAND SOLO, LOCK NUT MONSTER, POSTAGE TRAMP, PMS, CLIFF BANGHER, DO MY BUTT, SEXORCIST, LAZY ASS, MOAN ON TRAIL, NURSE HASHSHIT, IM LATE AGAIN, BANK OF SPERMAMERICA, JUST CARRIE, JUST CHRIS, RETURN TO GENDER, THE MESS(IAH), JUST CONNIE, TWO PUMP CHUMP, MOUNT SCHWIIINGA, , JUST EUGENE, JUST JOHN, C NO PANTY HO, JUST ERIN, PLOT MY G SPOT, JUST ANGELLE, GAGGING ME SOFTLY, QUARTER BARREL, JUST DOUG, WHIP IT OUT, JUST PATTY, JUST FAITH, HUNKA HUNKA BURNING SHIT, TOO MUCH HEAD, NO PENATRATION, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, FUCKO THE CLOWN, JUST NOAH, WAUKESHA NOAH, CORNBALLER, MONSTERBATOR, JUST JIM, PITA, MAN A WHORE, ORGIE O’QUEF, CUMS ON THE CEILING, WHACK ON WHACK OFF, NAPPY HEADED HO, MUDSUCKER, ODOR EATER, JUST YOUNG, VIRGIN PIMP, COFFEE TEA OR ME, MOUNT ME PUH’LZEE, DICKEN CIDER, BRINGING UP THE REAR (BUTR)

Sheffield Garden Crawl

-+-+-> Friday, July 20 Chicago 1500 1st Annual Sheffield Garden Crawl Pre-Lube Pub Crawl to Benefit The CPD Memorial Foundation

Based on funds raised we think we had over 150 peeps at this inaugural event!!

Modest $5 wristband charge gets you drink specials at every bar and all wristband proceeds benefit the Chicago Police Memorial Foundation (charity which helps out the families of Chicago Police Officers who gave their lives in the line of duty and honors their service). Trust me you will save $5 by the second bar as these are not dives but the really cool Lincoln Park bars!
Download Adobe PDF Printable Route Map & Flyer Here

Download Adobe PDF Printable Route Map & Flyer Here
And don’t forget to mark you calendars for Sunday, December 17, 2007 for Chicago’s 6th Annual Anthrax Hash. Right now it’s returned to being a Sunday Special Event Hash, however as you know in Chicago, “everything is negotiable”.

6/6/07 Chicago Mismanagement Personnel Announcements
Dow Jones Newswire – Chicago, IL

From The Office of the GM:

It is with sadness that I announce that Rear Loader has announced his intention to relinquish his mismanagement position and step down as Hareraiser for the Chicago Hash House Harriers to spend more time with his family and focus more of his efforts running the TH3 Hash group and spearhead development of fellow Axis of Evil affiliate hashes. On behalf of the Kennel of the Chicago Hash House Harriers I would like to personally thank Rear Loader for his contributions to the Chicago hash over the years and encourage hashers to come out when he sets trail 6/18/07 and thank him personally for all of the time he has contributed to our hash.

Based on our established Management Succession and Development program, it is with great pleasure that I announce that Batteries Not Included and Mouthful of Meat will be promoted the position of hareraiser for the CH3, replacing Rear Loader. Timetable is to complete this transition within the next week or so, in the meantime, we would appreciate your understanding during this transitional period.

As part of our ongoing restructuring efforts to streamline processes, reduce functional silos, drive out unnecessary costs and better align our corporate communications efforts with end-user client needs, the responsibility for the publication of the CH3 Hareline E-Mail will be now be consolidated with our existing Internet and Electronic Media Division, headed by our very own It’s Too Soft who currently runs both our website and digicam hash flash operations and has had previous communications experience as Deputy Assistant to the Information Minister of Iraq (until March 20, 2003). I welcome them to their mismanagement positions and hope to work with them in keeping the CH3 stocked with hares and updated harelines.

[Please be advised that despite this change, electrons will continue to be sourced from Exelon subsidiary ComEd honoring our existing long-term supply agreements.]

Please also note that due to ongoing technology platform backwards incompatibility issues, the CH3 Telephone Hotline will remain under the auspices of the CH3 Analog Communications Division as a standalone profit center, headed by Peterbuilt who also maintains a dual role as Special Consultant For Site-Prepared Foodservice Operations. Long term plans to integrate analog and digital operations pending “last mile” build-out of high speed fiber op in the Fall of 2032 have already been released in a separate announcement.

Finally, in demonstration of Mismanagement’s receptiveness to feedback from the Kennel and other key stakeholders, I would also like to announce that I have now also appointed all of members of the CH3 Mismangement as moderators of the CH3 yahoo group. They include Senior Vice President of The Weather Calvin Klein, newly promoted Hare Raisers Batteries and Mouthful of Meat, and Consigliere of Communications Its too Soft. They will have the ability to approve pending messages for you when I am away on vacation this summer and unable to check the Yahoo group, or share the blame if the content of your post conflicts with one of the 10,000 other hashes in Chicago and causes Horn-E to become upset.

I hope to see you at the Hash this Monday 6/11/07 at Beaumont’s 2020 N Halsted, 7pm. This hash will be a goodbye hash for Pussy Galore and I hope she shows.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM