Category: Mismanagement Announcement

State of the Chicago Hash Address 2009

Normally I try to tie this letter into the President’s address but I don’t think Obama made one this year or I missed it so here is mine. I have been GM of the Chicago Hash for 3-years, and over this time we have seen growth and great hashes for Chicago. I remember when I ran for GM against Horn-e, Rearloader, and Boner Malfunction, and I didn’t even know Too Loose Too Screw placed my name on the ballot. My first year as GM I was happy to get advice and encouragement from Virtually Hung, Too Loose and Mudsucker, who were previous GM’s for Chicago. Hopefully I can follow their example when I retire this year by providing the next GM with encouragement. I hope that people will vote for Erin Go Buff and I as co-GM’s, if we do win I plan to stay on until the 1600 Hash at Virgin Bangers and then retire. Over that period of time I will endeavor to show Erin Go Buff what I have done in the past with the hash and then let him take over and run the hash the way he feels it should be done. I thank the numerous hashers that asked me to run as GM again but I think it would be nice for someone new to take office. The next GM will be surrounded with quality people in the Chicago MM. Its Too Soft has done a sound job in keeping the Hareline and website running with an assist from One Handed Typist. Calvin as an RA was a great choice by Too Loose Too Screw and I’m glad he continued in that capacity for me. The Hare Razors, Mouthful of Meat and Batteries not Included have taken the job seriously and instead of having hares only for one month as we did have in the past we now have hares for the next 5 months with a few dates still available. We also saw Just I Lean and now Snatchsquatch take over the phone line from Peterbilt and they have been doing a commendable job! With these people still helping I’m sure that the hash will run well for 2009 and out!!
This past year the hash saw 1818 hashers come to CH3 hashes an increase of 150 hashers from the previous 1675 hashers in 2007. One thing I have not mentioned is the fact that we did start a CH3 Saturday Hash this year and if you included those hasher numbers than we had just under 1,900 hashers run this year for the Chicago Hash. The goal this year would be to break the 2,000-hasher barrier and we are off to a great start because we averaged 30 hashers per hash through the month of January. I have to congratulate the hash as a whole because most of our new hashers come from hashers bring friends to the hash. Remember hashers don’t let friends run sober. The Chicago Hash may advertise in Time Out Chicago. Metromix, The Red-eye, and other places but seventy-percent of our new people come from known hashers bringing their friends so keep it up!! Hashers like Renta Virgin, Ginger Snatch, Glory Hole and others have added quality hashers to our humble running club!!
Currently the Hash has about $650 in hash cash, which is a little lower than normal. This can easily be explained by three reasons. First the hash purchased new lanyards this year for $300. Second we only collected $288 in hash tax this year, which is less than $5 a hash. The Chicago MM decided to pour more money into the buying of beer at the hashes. Last, the Haberdashery is nicely stocked with shirts. This means we have about $350 tied up in shirts and tank tops that are ready for sale to visitors and locals. Hopefully we will see the hash cash rise to $800-$1000 before we hit the summer again via Haberdashery sales.
This past year the Chicago Hash celebrated its 30-years of existence. With such a rich history we experienced some of the same hashes and then we saw some new things happen this year. One of the best parts about being GM of the Chicago Hash is the fact that many hashers have taken a certain hash or date and made it their own. This is true for about 15 hashes each year and makes it easier for my hare razors and I to get hares. Each year groups plan events like Chinese New Year, Polish Constitution Day, Memorial Day hash, POP, Anthrax, Halloween hash, Labor day and Opening of the roof deck at Fuji’s, Marathon hash, Yad s’tiodI, and Turkey Day Hash that make Chicago look good to locals and visitors alike. I both thank and commend these people for the efforts on behalf of the Chicago Hash. We also would like to thank anyone that has hared in this past year because without hares there would be NO HASH!!
Probably one of the highlights of this year in Chicago was June 23, 2008 when Chicago celebrated its 30th anniversary. 70 hashers congregated on ITS TOO SOFTS roof deck and then later on the roof deck over looking the lake at ONE HANDED TYPISTs place for a beer stop. We had food, 2 kegs of beer and even a TV camera crew from Comcast to document the event. If you missed this event you can view it here on you tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwVnEgYu4fY . We partied all night and some even went to the Union when the beer ran out. The two premier events for Chicago were great again. POP was in good hands with Salty, Mouthful, Batteries, Schwiiinga, Like its on the Bottom, Rotten, and Packher Ass. If missed someone I’m Sorry. POP saw 88 hashers run the event an ominous number since this was billed as the Crazy Eights POP. This year is the 9th year and you can bet something about 9-lives will be used so hold July 25th and July 18th (prime dates) open for this years POP. Anthrax ran again this year and we saw an Invasion of Minneapolis Hashers following the Pied Pipers of MR. and MRS. ED down to Chicago. 92 hashers braved the cold and ran the trail of Calvin and Superstuf’her to find beer!!
Those were some of the set hashes but last year there was something new afloat in Chicago. Listening to the suggestion of LIFA Chicago started to hash on the fourth Saturday of the summer months with the idea to tie the hash into a street festival. The idea caught on and we had 20 hashers show up for each hash. Locals like Wrapper Snatcher, Lifa and The Porcelain God who found it impossible to hash with us on Monday nights now had and option to run with us on Saturday. We ran near the Lincoln Street fest and Greek town fest. The Greek Town fest was memorable for a drunk Rotten Whore, who earlier had been thrown out of Wrigley Field, joined our circle in the middle of Halsted Street near Jackson. Yes that is right we circled in the middle of the fest with cheap beer! We can’t forget the casa of W’All Bagher hash. What a house on Lake Michigan up on the North side. These Saturday hashes were the highlight for some over the summer, and we even managed to name Snatchquatch at the first Saturday Hash!! Also new this year was better cooperation with the TH3 hash under Happy’s leadership. The CH3 sponsored the Pink Dress runs beer stop at Poultry F*ckers Place and the whole CH3 MM joined in the festivities. Happy has been granted moderator privileges on the CH3 yahoo forum so he can post TH3 messages. I hope to see the continued cooperation that Happy has put for this year along with his MM towards the CH3.
The last couple of months has seen the CH3 take over the Lions Head Pub for free food and cheap beer on Wednesday. What started off as Just I Lean, Super Stuf’her, R-tard-E and Chicken meeting for cheap beer and wings has blossomed into 10-15 hashers each week meeting at this local establishment. As always all are welcome to join us for the $2 beers and free food from 4-7 pm and hopefully we will maintain this fine tradition going into the New Year.
This year we couldn’t have asked for a better chain of events that has placed the 1600 hash on the same weekend as Memorial Day. Our hosts Virgin Banger and Renta a Virgin have given us the thumbs up for another Memorial Day hash. Plans are in motion to try and make this hash larger then usually because it is our 1600th hash but even if we get or usual 75 hashers I am sure we are in for a good time. POP as I said before should fall sometime in July so be ready for a hot time in the middle of July. Make sure that you reserve time for W’all Bangher’s hash this year. If you did not make it to either of her hashes this year she lives at a picturesque apartment that over looks Lake Michigan on the North side. If we can twist her arm to do another Saturday Hash you will not want to miss it! I look forward to seeing all of you at Hash Ball on February 28, 2009 and hope that we can continue growing the Chicago Hash this year in 2009.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3- GM

CH3 Mismanagement Highlights

2/4/09 at 7:30 pm’ish Free food from 4-7!!!! $2 bottles
Lions Head Pub – 2251 N. Lincoln Ave, CHICAGO, IL

GM REPORT-

We have seen 1818 hashers run with us this year about 150 more people than last year at this time. That equals about 3 more hashers per hash at each of the hashes we had this year so nice job CH3 in getting virgins to cum and then having the staying power to keep them cumming!!!

WE ARE AVG.- 33 hashers per hash this year!!

Present: Chicken Stiffer- GM, Mouthful of Meat and Batteries not Included – Hare Razors, Its too Soft-Webmaster, Cornstar, Poultry Fucker, Erin Go Buff, Horn-e, R-tard-E, Super Stuffer, Snatchsquatch, Asscapade, Just Jana, Salty Gash, 69-cent man, Odor Eater TOTAL= 16

A. Budget The Budget was approved by those present
1. Verify funds we have $605 in hash cash.
2. Hash Tax and cash kept at $1 per person and $8 total?
3. Turn over $1000 for new GM in 2009.
4. Collected $100 so far this year in haberdashery $$$. There were no questions about the Budget
5. $288 in hash tax collected this year that is $4 a hash.
6. We have about $350 in haberdashery
7. We are set with lanyards and whistles for at least two years.

B. ANTHRAX Hash –Quick notes
1. We had 92 hashers at Anthrax this year!!
2. We went $150 in debt for the extra food we ordered and extra hour of drinking we purchased.
3. Anthrax this year Dec. 12th or 19th? Anthrax next year is set for Dec. 19th

C. Calendar
1. HASH BALL IS FEB. 28th at 3333 N. Damen “the FOUR TREY’s”
2. May 24, 2009 will be hash #1600 and the Memorial Day Hash on Saturday at Virgin Bangers and Renta Virgins.
3. POP- We need to pick a date for this event July 11,18, 25 August 1, 15
4. Labor Day Hash Sept. 6th up to ITS TOO SOFT?
5. CH3 Saturday Hashes May 30th, June 27th, July 25th, August 22nd or 29th, September 26th -These hashes last year we tied into Chicago street festivals. Many allow you to bring in your own beer and you could have circle outside!!

Horn-e questioned the need for the CH3 Saturday hashes, claimed we have Saturday hashes already in his bushmans hash and Big dogs. Horn-e also said his hashes attendance is hurt by CH3 hashes. Super Stuffher said he liked the Saturday hashes tied to street fests in the city. NOTE: Bushman hashes attendance has continued to avg. about 3 hashers before during and after the CH3 Saturday hashes have run so it doesn’t seem like attendance was hurt? The SATURDAY HASHES last year avg. 20 hashers per run!!

A VOTE WAS CALLED TO CONTINUE THE SATURDAY HASHES. The Vote was 11-2 in favor of continuing the Saturday hashes. Horn-e’s suggestion to end CH3 Saturday hashes was defeated.

6. Elections will start Feb. 1st and run until Feb. 22nd You can vote at the hash or online. Again if you wish to vote you can Online via the yahoo group, by mail, or at the CH3 hashes. Election results will be made public at Hash Ball Feb. 28, 2009.

COMMITTEE REPORTS

D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES Looks like we have hares until June OPEN DATES: Feb. 22nd, April 5th and 19th, June 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th REMINDER WE HASH ON MONDAYS MAY – SEPTEMBER so June dates are Mondays. Feb. 22 is now gone MARDI GRAS hash and April 5th is Mouthful of Meat OPEN DATES are APRIL 19th and March 22nd and then most dates are open for the Summer
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars.
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 and TH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line. SNATCHSQUATCH is the new phone line dude! Thanks buddy!! SCH3, Moon hashes, and big dogs still do not wish to pay for the phone line and so their information will not be carried.

E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. If you want to be put on or taken off the CH3 Hareline tell him.
3. We have new picture site that CH3 posts web dudes photos on.

F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- Schwiiinga?
1. Have $350 in Haberdashery mainly tank tops and T-Shirts.
2. Dri-knit? CH3 name Necklaces? New CTA SHIRT? Some interest in remake of the CTA shirt

G. RA’s & circle: Calvin
1. New songs?
2. Need another RA to replace Enema Canal? ASSCAPADES name was put forward for training purposes?

H. POP (Power of the Pussy) POP is a CH3 event put on by the ladies of the Hash usually in the Summer
1. Need to pick a date for POP. They might have $85 already in seed money from last year? No money from last year $0
2. Salty, Stab’em, Rotten, Schwiiiinga, Likes it on the Bottom. Maybe CUMMA SLUTRA and GINGER SNATCH help?
3. Any ladies interested should contact Salty or Schwiiinga or show up at Mismanagement meeting.

Ladies running POP are: Salty Gash, Rotten Whore, Stab’em and Slab’em, Schwiiinga, Ginger Snatch, Likes it on the Bottom, Cuma Slutra,and Corn Star. The Girls will determine POP date by middle of Feb. hold JULY 18 and 25th open these look like good choices.

I. Misc
a. Big Hump Green dress March 13-15 Correction we will leave on 3 pm train on Sunday to get home on amtrak
b. Indyscent Prom Dress last weekend in April 18th NEW DATE PUT FORTH BY DOUBLE FISTER
c. Waukesha Red Dress May 9th

New Business- 69-cent man wants different Haberdashery I will try and put pictures up of what he wants and see if people are interested by online vote via Yahoo.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

CH3 Fall MisManageMent Results:
CH3 MISMANAGEMENT HIGHLIGHTS
11/2/08 at 1 pm’ish Bears on at NOON!!! Bears WIN!!!!

Bar Atlantic -5062 N. Lincoln Ave, CHICAGO, IL

We have seen 1518 hashers run with us this year about 150 more people than last year at this time. That equals about 3 more hashers per hash at each of the 45 hashes we had this year so nice job CH3 in getting virgins to cum and then having the staying power to keep them cumming!!!

WE ARE AVG.- 33 hashers per hash this year!! Avg. 3 more hashers per hash this year as compared to last year.

Hashers Present- Chicken Stiffer-Gm, Calvin Klein- RA, It’s Too Soft- Web Dude, Mouthful of Meat- HareRazor, Erin Go Bra- Hasher, Horn-e- Hasher

1. Verify funds We have $1032 in hash cash.
2. Hash Tax and cash kept at $1 per person and $8 total? Keep hash tax the way it is. approved
3. Turn over $1000 for new GM in 2009.
4. Collected $356 so far this year in haberdashery $$$. We will be buying new haberdashery soon.
5. $246 in hash tax collected this year that is $5 a hash. We Have only collected $5 per hash for hash tax this year
6. Donated $50 in hash cash to TH3 PINK DRESS for the beer stop.
7. Paid $84 for CH3 flag which was stolen by 2nd city a year ago and not returned. Hash flag purchase was approved by those present.
8. $25 for CH3 photos to be easily accessed online. Ask ITS TOO SOFT This allows for easy download of hash pictures

B. ANTHRAX Hash –Quick notes
1. December 19-21st weekend is the date
2. Where do we have it? Beaumonts 2020 N. Halsted
3. Volunteers to help Mismanagement run the event.
4. Cost should be around $30
5. Hotels- Arlington house youth Hostel and Days Inn on Diversey

C. Calendar
1. POWER OF THE PUSSY (POP) July 11-13 Weekend!! What a weekend 88 hashers showed. NICE JOB!!
2. Nov. 23 is CH3 Thanksgiving Day Hash at Just Shaina’s. FOOD AND BEER WILL FLOW!!!!
3. Elections are cumming up who will be CH3 GM next year nominations will be in January and Elections in February. Elections will begin in Jan. with Nominations and per HORN-E’s suggestion last year each hasher will receive one vote per each hash they attended this year. Hashers will have a chance to vote in the first two weeks in February either at the hash or via e-mail. This was approved by all present.
4. Hash Ball Date Feb. or beginning of March Suggestion was made to use the 4-treys for hashball and ask milk my yak to make beer for us again.

COMMITTEE REPORTS

D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES Looks like we have hares until Jan.
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars.
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 and TH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line. Just I LEAN nice job with phone line. Just I Lean may be moving so we may need a new hasher to run the phone line.

0E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. If you want to be put on or taken off the CH3 Hareline tell him.
3. We have new picture site that CH3 posts web dudes photos on.

F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- Schwiiinga?
1. Very Low on Haberdashery we will make new shit in the cumming weeks.
2. Tank Tops and Dri-knit? We will be looking to get tech gear with our new haberdashery purchase.

G. RA’s & circle: Calvin & Enema Canal
1. New songs?

H. Misc
1. Big Hump Green dress in March
2. Indyscent prom dress last weekend in April!!!

New Business

?????

Can’t think of anything e-mail me if you wish to add anything here??

Happy Ass Grabber asked that the TH3 info be included on the CH3 website the CH3 MM has no problem with that and IT’s TOO SOFT has been posting the info on the CH3 site for the past couple of months.

A. Budget- The Budget was approved by those present.

GM REPORT-

The pack made its way back to the bar and Calvin convened the circle. Crop Duster and KGB were the FRB’s I believe and Cumma Slutra, our hare next week was the FBI. Rub My Disc brought us good tidings from Ohio and this new transplant promises to be back hashing with us in the near future. Mudsucker walked in hair disheveled after spending the morning on the couch watching the Bears and he will have a chili party on Saturday night. We had many twins today with Stab’em and Slab’em, Snatchsquatch, Just Kat, Up loader, and others wearing coordinated hash gear for today’s run. Eventually the circle closed but that did not end the festivities for the day. We reconvened the circle at W’All Bangher request and brought in Just Ira for her naming. Many suggestions were made but she was finally named SOUR KROTCH by a 10 to 3 vote by those hashers present. This name was suggested because she made sauerkraut for the previous hash at W’All Bangher house. We will miss her as she returns to Germany this week.

Tuesday saw about 15 people gather at Party Central for an election party. More Tail, Just Taylor, Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry Fucker, Its Too Soft, Are they Real, and others were present for this momentous occasion. Hell we should have had an impromptu hash at 7 pm and a quick circle before the O’bama speech at 10 pm. Hopefully we will see a nice turn out at the Chili party at MUDSUCKERS on Saturday and congrats to Mr. O’bama I heard he may stop by for chili on Saturday.

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

CH3 Highlights
7/1/08 at 7:30 pm
Hidden Shamrock
2723 N. Halsted

Present: Chicken Stiffer-GM, Calvin Klein-RA, Its Too Soft- Web Fool, Batteries Not Included & Mouthful of Meat- Hare Razors, Rotten Whore-Hasher, Just Amanda-Hasher, Moan On Trail-Hasher, Horn-e- Hasher- 9 Present

GM REPORT

A. Budget
1. Ok�ed budget $653 in Hash cash- NO QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT CASH
2. No hash tax collected for 9 months. We will start to collect hash tax for the next couple of months.
3. Hash Cash is $8 NO ONE BEFORE MEETING or AT MEETING EXPRESSED any concern of the new hash
Cash being $8 instead of $6.

B. ANTHRAX Hash �Quick notes
1. Need Volunteers to help MM run Anthrax this year. SUPER STUF�HER has said yes to trail help?
2. ANTHRAX HASH DEC. 20 2 pm!!!! SAVE THE DATE
3. Maybe have downtown location?

C. Calendar
1. POWER OF THE PUSSY (POP) July 11-13 Weekend!! Talk to MOM, Batteries, Salty, Schwiinga, 867
2. Possible date for 1569 hash is October 18, 2008 marathon is Oct. 12 that date is out.
3. August 31, 2008 Labor Day Hash at ITS TOO SOFT. Also August 16, 2008 Air and Water Show Party
4. R-Tard-E wants to do a campout at his Place in Wisconsin over the Summer. Maybe September?
5. NEXT JV hashes will be July 26 & August 23.

COMMITTEE REPORTS

D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES WE ARE BASICALLY BOOKED WITH HARES THRU SEPTEMBER!!
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars. http://editthis.info/chicagohash/Main_Page
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 & TH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line.

E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. Will work on getting TH3 listed on the calendar of the CH3 website with One handed Typist.

F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- New Haberdashery is MOUNT SCHWIIINGA
1. WE will have new tank tops for ladies out NEXT WEEK!!!
2. Have plenty of t-shirts to sell along with other left over things.
3. Looking at getting Dri-fit

G. RA�s & circle: Calvin?
1. ENEMA CANAL IS NEW CO-RA Nice job so far
2. New songs?

H. Misc

1. Bungle in the Jungle August 8-10 Big Hump campout
2. JUNE 27-29 DAYTON CAMPOUT weekend
3. Sept. 6th Cubs in Sin City ROAD TRIP?
New Business

– Bag Squeezer–> If you visit another hasher like big hump and miss our hash should it count? Bag Squeezer go fuck yourself. This was voted down but thanks for the suggestion keep them coming.

– Attendance has been excellent we are Averaging 34.1 hashers per each hash since Jan. 1 this year. Look for attendance list posted in the yahoo groups.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM