State of the Hash 2009

State of the Chicago Hash Address 2009

Normally I try to tie this letter into the President’s address but I don’t think Obama made one this year or I missed it so here is mine. I have been GM of the Chicago Hash for 3-years, and over this time we have seen growth and great hashes for Chicago. I remember when I ran for GM against Horn-e, Rearloader, and Boner Malfunction, and I didn’t even know Too Loose Too Screw placed my name on the ballot. My first year as GM I was happy to get advice and encouragement from Virtually Hung, Too Loose and Mudsucker, who were previous GM’s for Chicago. Hopefully I can follow their example when I retire this year by providing the next GM with encouragement. I hope that people will vote for Erin Go Buff and I as co-GM’s, if we do win I plan to stay on until the 1600 Hash at Virgin Bangers and then retire. Over that period of time I will endeavor to show Erin Go Buff what I have done in the past with the hash and then let him take over and run the hash the way he feels it should be done. I thank the numerous hashers that asked me to run as GM again but I think it would be nice for someone new to take office. The next GM will be surrounded with quality people in the Chicago MM. Its Too Soft has done a sound job in keeping the Hareline and website running with an assist from One Handed Typist. Calvin as an RA was a great choice by Too Loose Too Screw and I’m glad he continued in that capacity for me. The Hare Razors, Mouthful of Meat and Batteries not Included have taken the job seriously and instead of having hares only for one month as we did have in the past we now have hares for the next 5 months with a few dates still available. We also saw Just I Lean and now Snatchsquatch take over the phone line from Peterbilt and they have been doing a commendable job! With these people still helping I’m sure that the hash will run well for 2009 and out!!
This past year the hash saw 1818 hashers come to CH3 hashes an increase of 150 hashers from the previous 1675 hashers in 2007. One thing I have not mentioned is the fact that we did start a CH3 Saturday Hash this year and if you included those hasher numbers than we had just under 1,900 hashers run this year for the Chicago Hash. The goal this year would be to break the 2,000-hasher barrier and we are off to a great start because we averaged 30 hashers per hash through the month of January. I have to congratulate the hash as a whole because most of our new hashers come from hashers bring friends to the hash. Remember hashers don’t let friends run sober. The Chicago Hash may advertise in Time Out Chicago. Metromix, The Red-eye, and other places but seventy-percent of our new people come from known hashers bringing their friends so keep it up!! Hashers like Renta Virgin, Ginger Snatch, Glory Hole and others have added quality hashers to our humble running club!!
Currently the Hash has about $650 in hash cash, which is a little lower than normal. This can easily be explained by three reasons. First the hash purchased new lanyards this year for $300. Second we only collected $288 in hash tax this year, which is less than $5 a hash. The Chicago MM decided to pour more money into the buying of beer at the hashes. Last, the Haberdashery is nicely stocked with shirts. This means we have about $350 tied up in shirts and tank tops that are ready for sale to visitors and locals. Hopefully we will see the hash cash rise to $800-$1000 before we hit the summer again via Haberdashery sales.
This past year the Chicago Hash celebrated its 30-years of existence. With such a rich history we experienced some of the same hashes and then we saw some new things happen this year. One of the best parts about being GM of the Chicago Hash is the fact that many hashers have taken a certain hash or date and made it their own. This is true for about 15 hashes each year and makes it easier for my hare razors and I to get hares. Each year groups plan events like Chinese New Year, Polish Constitution Day, Memorial Day hash, POP, Anthrax, Halloween hash, Labor day and Opening of the roof deck at Fuji’s, Marathon hash, Yad s’tiodI, and Turkey Day Hash that make Chicago look good to locals and visitors alike. I both thank and commend these people for the efforts on behalf of the Chicago Hash. We also would like to thank anyone that has hared in this past year because without hares there would be NO HASH!!
Probably one of the highlights of this year in Chicago was June 23, 2008 when Chicago celebrated its 30th anniversary. 70 hashers congregated on ITS TOO SOFTS roof deck and then later on the roof deck over looking the lake at ONE HANDED TYPISTs place for a beer stop. We had food, 2 kegs of beer and even a TV camera crew from Comcast to document the event. If you missed this event you can view it here on you tube . We partied all night and some even went to the Union when the beer ran out. The two premier events for Chicago were great again. POP was in good hands with Salty, Mouthful, Batteries, Schwiiinga, Like its on the Bottom, Rotten, and Packher Ass. If missed someone I’m Sorry. POP saw 88 hashers run the event an ominous number since this was billed as the Crazy Eights POP. This year is the 9th year and you can bet something about 9-lives will be used so hold July 25th and July 18th (prime dates) open for this years POP. Anthrax ran again this year and we saw an Invasion of Minneapolis Hashers following the Pied Pipers of MR. and MRS. ED down to Chicago. 92 hashers braved the cold and ran the trail of Calvin and Superstuf’her to find beer!!
Those were some of the set hashes but last year there was something new afloat in Chicago. Listening to the suggestion of LIFA Chicago started to hash on the fourth Saturday of the summer months with the idea to tie the hash into a street festival. The idea caught on and we had 20 hashers show up for each hash. Locals like Wrapper Snatcher, Lifa and The Porcelain God who found it impossible to hash with us on Monday nights now had and option to run with us on Saturday. We ran near the Lincoln Street fest and Greek town fest. The Greek Town fest was memorable for a drunk Rotten Whore, who earlier had been thrown out of Wrigley Field, joined our circle in the middle of Halsted Street near Jackson. Yes that is right we circled in the middle of the fest with cheap beer! We can’t forget the casa of W’All Bagher hash. What a house on Lake Michigan up on the North side. These Saturday hashes were the highlight for some over the summer, and we even managed to name Snatchquatch at the first Saturday Hash!! Also new this year was better cooperation with the TH3 hash under Happy’s leadership. The CH3 sponsored the Pink Dress runs beer stop at Poultry F*ckers Place and the whole CH3 MM joined in the festivities. Happy has been granted moderator privileges on the CH3 yahoo forum so he can post TH3 messages. I hope to see the continued cooperation that Happy has put for this year along with his MM towards the CH3.
The last couple of months has seen the CH3 take over the Lions Head Pub for free food and cheap beer on Wednesday. What started off as Just I Lean, Super Stuf’her, R-tard-E and Chicken meeting for cheap beer and wings has blossomed into 10-15 hashers each week meeting at this local establishment. As always all are welcome to join us for the $2 beers and free food from 4-7 pm and hopefully we will maintain this fine tradition going into the New Year.
This year we couldn’t have asked for a better chain of events that has placed the 1600 hash on the same weekend as Memorial Day. Our hosts Virgin Banger and Renta a Virgin have given us the thumbs up for another Memorial Day hash. Plans are in motion to try and make this hash larger then usually because it is our 1600th hash but even if we get or usual 75 hashers I am sure we are in for a good time. POP as I said before should fall sometime in July so be ready for a hot time in the middle of July. Make sure that you reserve time for W’all Bangher’s hash this year. If you did not make it to either of her hashes this year she lives at a picturesque apartment that over looks Lake Michigan on the North side. If we can twist her arm to do another Saturday Hash you will not want to miss it! I look forward to seeing all of you at Hash Ball on February 28, 2009 and hope that we can continue growing the Chicago Hash this year in 2009.

Chicken Stiffer