Chicago Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash: 10/21/07 ASS FAMILY HASH
Hares: Assman, Ez on the Ass
Venue: American Legion Post 42

VIRGINS: Just Rob, Just Tracie
VISITORS: Just Tracie
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Just Molly, Just Katherine, Just Alan, Just Steve, Just Jonathan, At Your Cervix, One handed Typist, Open Wide, Its Too Soft, Just Susanna, W all Bangher, Just Ester, Mouthful of Meat, My Ass is Up for Grabs, Rotten Whore, Lifa, Schwiiinga, Horn-e, Erect da Red, Moan On Trail
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 24

The hash left the friendly confines of Chicago and traveled north to Evanston where Post 42 sponsored the hash off the Central Purple line stop. The hash started at 1 pm on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The Hares were still laying trail when we started due to a long drinking night on Saturday that EZ partook in. We had a nice crowd for being outside the city and even ROTTEN WHORE found the time to make it up for the hash. The Pack had a quick chalk talk and then we were off looking for marks East of the el-tracks. LIFA and JUST TRACIE were out in front with JUST ROB. The Trail meandered through the sleepy lakeside of Evanston. The first real problems occurred when the pack got to the lake front park and could not find the marks after a check. LIFA, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, AT YOUR CERVIX, and others went ranging for marks but came up empty. CHICKEN STIFFER eventually found marks going north on Sheridan Road and he thought he was behind the pack until he got to B’hai Temple
and realized that he was the FRB. The trail from here wandered through the grounds of the gorgeous temple. The trail went west and south until CHICKEN came to a split that seemed to have no marks after it until you went across the street to look for them. By this time JUST MOLLY, JUST TRACIE, and JUST ROB had caught up to the front of the pack. We trail blazed for the rest of the pack and soon were near the familiar bridge that was used the previous year for a beer stop. This year though it was haunted by an ugly troll that scared the Crap out of our new virgin JUST TRACIE. The pack enjoyed the beer but not the smelly river that it crossed.
Eventually the whole pack made it to the beer stop and ROTTEN WHORE took a nice seat down by the river with her gold and cold beer. JUST STEVE, JUST JONATHAN, JUST ALAN, and MOUTHFUL of MEAT had to be directed into the hidden beer stop by our very own LIFA. ITS TOO SOFT seemed to be snapping pictures as he usually does for the hash. It was just a perfect day to run, much like it was the whole weekend. The beer stop ended and we walked pack the mile to the ON-IN where we had to send EZ and AT YOUR CERVIX out to get us some cheap beer. AT YOUR CERVIX was denied beer at Jewel because she looked too young??? When they returned the circle was started and our hares were punished for general lateness. Late starting the trail, late with the beer, just late!! OPEN WIDE, ERECT THE RED, and LIFA were our reboots for the day. We welcomed our new virgins JUST TRACIE and JUST ROB. W ALL BANGHER and ONE HANDED TYPIST were the DFL s??? The circle was soon ended in favor of the
pack watching the Bears, who won, and eating chilidogs. In the end the hares made up for the mistakes with great weather and good food!!!! See you next week at the COSTUME HASH!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

The Tale of the Trail Chicago #1413 PoP 7 @ Chi-Town Tap
Hash Trash: 10/13/07 POP HASH The 7th YEAR ITCH
Hares: Likes it on the Bottom, PACKhER Ass, Mount Schwiiinga, Salty Gash, Just Lauren, and Rotten Whore
Venue: Chi-town Tap

VIRGINS: Just Ernst, Just Kristen, Just Savitia, Just Jonathon
VISITORS: Hand Solo, #2, Toilet Eclipse, Just Mary, Ricky’s Crab Shack, Exorcist, Hot Lips, Suck Me Dry, OPP, Gagging Me Softly, 2 f*** Cannuck
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Virtually Hung, W’all Bangher, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Just Katherine, Just Kristen, Just Steve, 69-Cent Man, Anal Assault, Bank of Spermamerica, Boner Malfunction, Batteries Not Included, Just Corrine, Grizzly ?, I’m Late Again, It’s too Soft, Just Allen, Just Julia, Magnetic Muff, Just Lisa, Just Mary, Just Molly, Just Peter, Sperm Diversion, Just Saud, One Handed Typist, Mouthful Of Meat, Mud Sucker, Odor Eater, Too Much Head, Just Patrick, Moan on Trail, Just Ed, CP, Just Jamica, Just Rick, Man O Whore, Just Tom,
VIRGINS= 4
VISTORS=9
TOTAL HASHERS= 60+

Last weekend five ladies (PACKhER ASS, LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM, MOUNT SCHWIIINGA, JUST LAUREN, and SALTY GASH plus one rotten WHORE put on the yearly POP (POWER of the PUSSY) hash. The turn out was high with over 60 hashers showing up for the event and the laughs and fun will last forever. Nice job ladies!!! The Planning for the event began in the beginning of JULY when the ladies asked me if they could run POP. A date was picked for the hash in mid-JULY when the Chicago October hash calendar was empty of hashes for the Oct. 12-14 weekend. The T-shirt design was done by our own MOUNT SCHWIIINGA with the trail being devised by LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM. The other 3 pussies, PACKhER ASS, SALTY GASH, and JUST LAUREN, provided logistical support.

The weekend kicked off with a pre-lube party where the CH3 raised around $200 for Breast Cancer Research, this brings the CH3 donations to charity well over $1000 for the whole year. The Flagship event began at 2 p.m. Oct. 13 with the weather being most cooperative. The hash ran under cloudy skies with a temperature of 65 degrees or perfect running weather. I wish we could have had this weather for the Chicago Marathon!!! The ladies greeted us at the door adorned in their Marilyn Monroe outfits so blondes were everywhere. The hash greeted our visitors in from BIG-HUMP, 2 F*** CANNUCK, SEXORCIST, and RICKYS CRAB SHACK.

We also had Waukesha hashers in the form of #2, TOILET ECLIPSE, JUST MARY, and HAND SOLO. Later in the evening the INDY SCENT hashers showed up in the form of OPP, SUCK ME DRY, and GAGGING ME SOFTLY. The hash lubricated itself with beer and around 2:45 pm the hash did chalk talk. VIRTUALLY HUNG was stuck carrying the flag today and JUST ALLEN and I were stuck wearing schoolgirl skirts and football jersey’s due to a lost bet a couple weeks ago.
The hash took off Northeast and found its first problem around the Illinois Masonic Hospital. The trail went up through the parking lot and back down. Numerous hashers like JUST PATRICK, JUST MOLLY, JUST ALLEN, and others decided to short cut the trail because what goes up must come down, the problem was where would the trail come down? Eventually the trail did run up to Halsted and then North to the Belmont El line stop.

This was the shot stop on the trail and TOO MUCH HEAD seemed to love giving blow job?!?
SHOTS to the hashers cumming in for the quick rest. ROTTEN WHORE looked she had just blown a whole battleship full of sailors with all of the leftover whip cream around her mouth!! SEXORCIST had the inverted whip cream treat as well. After the brief rest and shots the pack was back on trail angling northwest. JUST ALLEN, SPERM DIVERSION, VIRTULLY HUNG and I seemed to be leading the pack at this point and about two miles down trail we ran into the backyard of MOUNT SCHWIINGA. I took a seat but soon had to get up because JUST CORINNE, TOO MUCH HEAD, HOT LIPS, and others kept trying to see up my skirt!!!

The pack was treated to some fine beer, but the piece de resistance was the penis piñata. CP had first crack at the big dick but missed it completely. Next up was MOUTHFUL OF MEAT who seemed to need batting practice as well. MUDSUCKER took a whack at it and started the eventual down fall of the massive prick. Finally and mercifully ODOR eater like Chris Farley in the great white ninja blindfolded himself and put a huge wallop into that phallic that it spit out its finally death blows. Out of said phallic came Chocolate, sweet tarts and other prizes which will be given out this Sunday to the no shows.

The pack hit the pavement and was running along until 69-CENT MAN found a bus playpen in the garbage. He put the costume on but soon tired of it and gave it to JUST SAUD and I. We ran with it on until we got to the finally beer stop at Wrightwood Park. Along the way we must have given out 50-60 hash cards to interested onlookers and when we got to the park the Kick ball game stopped to give us a funny salute. ROTTEN WHORE womaned this stop and was very self-conscious of her appearance because numerous innocent bystanders were giving her strange looks. The bus finally arrived and the Ladies had games ready for us. I was on a team of JUST SAUD, TOO MUCH HEAD, JUST SAVITIA, and JUST KRISTEN. We played izzy dizzy and many hashers were soon on the ground from a lost sense of balance and direction. I believe the winning team had 69-CENT MAN, JUST PETER, #2, JUST MOLLY, and JUST KATHERINE on their team.

The pack played in the park for about ½ and then staggered back into the ON-IN at the Chi-town tap around 5:45 pm, but not before SALTY and PACKhER jumped into a pair of granny panties together.

Back at the On-In we had a short delay until the circle was started by PACKhER ASS and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA. They did a masterful job in running the circle and received the cooperation of the circle in general and if they didn’t ROTTEN WHORE spoke up for them with RESPECT!!! The hares were publicly pissed upon and our visitors were acknowledged and thanked for making the trip. Our virgins, Just Ernst, Just Kristen, Just Savitia, and Just Jonathon were in shock of what they had done today and what they had seen. The FRB’s were SPERM DIVERSION and JUST JULIA. SPERM DIVERSION on a side note could barely stand at the end of the night. The POP celebrated the past POP members in MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, ROTTEN WHORE and MAGNETIC MUFF. They even punished the NRB’s JUST TOM, MOAN, OPP, GAGGING ME SOFTLY and SUCK ME DRY. The BUS drivers and passengers made a second appearance and drank for garbage picking. RENTA VIRGIN and VIRGIN BANGER were called on for something but I can’t remember by this time I was getting drunk. JUST ALLEN got the sleeve today and somehow managed to drink from it with out spilling?? Food was served and the circle went through the motions of hash religion and ate.

Afterwards the hash decided to play a few games of Flippy cup with MOAN ON TRAIL leading the game. Participants included BATTERIES, JUST ALLEN, JUST MOLLY, ODOR EATER, ROTTEN WHORE, SPERM DIVERSION, JUST SAUD and others. The games lasted long and kicked SPERM DIVERSIONS butt because he threw up the game pieces after it was long over. From here I am at a loss for words but I do remember that the POP committee got some free shots by flashing the bar tender!!!! Overall the ladies did a nice job and the hash waits in anticipation for the 8th ANNUAL POP. We also like to thank the ladies for making us a new hashshit award, which is now a 2 foot pink penis. Towards the end of the night we did name JUST LAUREN. The suggestions were JANE DOE, MY ASS IS UP FOR GRABS, TURN AND COUGH, and ON MY KNEES AGAIN. After great deliberation amongst the hashers JUST LAUREN is now “MY ASS IS UP FOR GRABS!!!” Congrats!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

The Tale of the Trail Chicago #1511 @ Farragut’s
Hash Trash: 9/31/07
Hares: Just Tom, Anal Assault
Venue: Farragut’s 5200 N. Clark $4.50 PITCHERS!!!!!!

Fujirazzi pix here. Also check out some pix from our transplant from Indyscent, Moan on Trail here.

VIRGINS: Just Patrick, Just Raphael, Just Ryan
VISITORS: Moan On Trail, Just Pat
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Just Chris, Just Patrick, Just Joseph, Just Katherine, Salted Gash, Its too Soft, MudSucker, Cobwebs in the Bush, Likes it on the Bottom, Just Brian, Dickin Cider, Just John, Just Mark, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Stump Humper, Just Steven, Mount Schwiiinga, Just Melissa, Flying Hooters, Mouthful of Meat, Two Tickets to a Pair Thighs, Just Lauren, Boner Malfunction, Smell This, Lochness Cockster, Just Amanda, Just Jenn, Lower Whackoff, Sex Luthor, Just Mandy, Just Allen
VIRGINS= 3
TOTAL HASHERS= 40

The Chicago Hash invented the date 9/31/07 so that we would still hash this past week otherwise there would have been a hash layover of 13 days until hashers could recharge with beer and this just won�t do!!! The Hares did find us a bar that actually served pitchers, a great concept, and they cost $4.50 each. It has been a long time since I have seen pitchers this cheap in CHICAGO so nice job JUST TOM and ANAL ASSAULT. This was the last hash on Monday night until May 2008 and we had a very successful season with the CH3 averaging well over 35 hashers per hash. Thanks again goes out to the people who ran the Memorial Day Hash which kicked off the Summer and the 1500 hash which solidified the Summer hashing season. Thanks always goes out to those that volunteer their time and talents to hare or run the hash. We will be moving the hash to Sundays for the remainder of the fall and winter unless we have a special event.

JUST TOM took off early with JUST JENN to check the marks so ANAL ASSAULT was forced to give the chalk talk. It was very interesting chalk talk and unique to have to find 3 marks after a split but mixing things up once in awhile can be a good thing. The hash received their instructions and was off. Kudos goes out to LOCHNESS COCKSTER and SEX LUTHOR for allowing the use of their chariots for hash bags and clothes. The pack went through a garage and came out in an alley with a split. CALVIN and I went left and we were not right. I believe JUST JOHN had found trail the other way. We crossed thru several alleys and made a right to traverse Clark Street again. This happened after the main pack was forced to do a circle jerk and the back of the pack became the front. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED was now our FBI and scouted trail east to another alley. JUST AMANDA was high stepping it thru the puddles in the alley reliving her younger days when she played in those puddles.

The trail came out on Foster Avenue and TWO TICKETS came to a check on Foster where she went straight and I went north. I went the wrong way but wound up running into the ranging HORN-E. He would soon find out that short cutting and ranging today was not a good idea because he never did find the beer stop. DICKIN CIDER found the trail cutting across Broadway and led us to the shores of Lake Michigan. MOUTHFUL OF MEAT by this time had had picked up the Guam hasher, JUST PATRICK? He has consented to cum out and see us again. Along the lakefront I ran with JUST STEVEN and SEX LUTHOR and caught up with STUMP HUMPER for a while, and LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM soon joined us. The trail kept going north along Sheridan Ave. and passed under the Granville red line stop. MOAN ON TRAIL with her buddy COBWEBS in the BUSH kept complaining about the length of the trail, but �Its not how long it is but how you run it?� JUST TOM did a nice job sweeping the trail laying marks for people

to follow. The pack eventual made its way to the beer stop. JUST ALLEN and I discussed a future dress arrangement we will have for POP or the Halloween hash. FLYING HOOTERS and TWO TIKS tried to seduce me into going to a wine tasting party on Wednesday night during the CUBS game but that didn�t work. JUST JOHN was the last one in but he at least made it unlike veteran hashers CALVIN, BATTERIES, and HORN-E. All of the newbie�s made it what happened to you folks? The pack soon had its fill of beer and water, and started to move on to the bar.

Back at the bar we found our missing hashers and began to drink numerous amounts of $4.50 pitchers. BONER, MUD SUCKER, SMELL THIS, ITS TOO SOFT, SALTED GASH, and JUST LAUREN made it to the on-in as well. DAMN wankers didn�t run this TWO TICKETS trail. CALVIN ran the circle and we welcomed MOAN ON TRAIL to the Chicago Hash. We also gave her back her lost floppy hat she forgot at 1500. Personally I will like having her here not because she�s cute but because now CALVIN will have to drink every time she does down-down because when one RA drinks all RA�s drink!!! The Virgins JUST PATRICK, JUST RAPHAEL, and JUST RYAN got their down-downs. The FRB was JUST JOHN for his impersonation of Jesse Owens. The hares were pounded repeatedly for the trail but again they made up for it by providing us with � price pizza�s nice job hares!! The ladies of POP have now cleared well over 40 hashers showing up for the OCT. 13 hash with a prelube set for OCT. 12 at the Wrightwood Tap!!!

Nice going girls!!! LOWER WHCKOFF dazzled us with his tie t-shirt and JUST STEVEN was wearing his SUPERHERO underroos?? JUST AMANDA played the part of a quiet lawyer?? I thought lawyers always had something to say? JUST PATRICK was in heaven because the bar was 2 blocks from home, so there was no need for him to ride his bike drunk home today!! CALVIN kept the circle going and punished those people who were grazing on the pizza when the circle was still running, but soon the circle grew tired and hungry so hash religion was sung and the pack got their pizza and all were happy accept for some guy in the bar complaining that we were too VULGAR!!! F*** him!! After the circle closed we finally got around to naming JUST CHRIS. Davey Crochet had suggested PAYS for PIE last week because he was buying numerous pizzas for the hash. Other suggestions were the usually shitty names but we will now know JUST CHRIS as �The ONE HANDED TYPIST�. I hope to see you this SUNDAY

for the hash. It will be the last one for SMELL THIS in Chicago for a while and we should have some visitors in for the Marathon. Remember to sign up for POP Oct. 13!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM