Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1565

Hash Trash Sept. 22, 2008 Casa De Stumpy
HARES: Stumpy and Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Joe, Just Jessica, Just John, Just Hee-Jai, Just Julian
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Just Shaina, Poultry F*cker, Glory Hole, Sir Poops A lot, Calvin and Hobbes, Batteries Not Included, R-tard-E, Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Bang Me Blow Me Get Me Off, Virtually Hung, 69-cent Man, Carpet Shagger, Princess Labia, Ernest Cummingway, Likes It On the Bottom, Horn-E, It’s Too Soft, Renta Virgin, Cums On I Lean, Bella (Carry On), Just I Lean, Mount Schwinga, Crop Duster, Bank of Spermeica,
TOTAL HASHERS= 32
The hash tonight celebrated the birthday of VIRGIN BANGER and STUMP HUMPER two excellent hashers both turned 27 tonight congratulations. 32 hashers came out for the run and celebrations with 5 virgins joining us most of them came because of RENTA VIRGIN!!! The trail was a fine showing of the Loyola Campus and Rogers Park. We did a quick chalk talk and in the midst of it CROP DUSTER showed up on his bike as usually sweaty and out of breathe. After our instructions we were off with 69-CENT MAN leading us out to the first check. I went NW but was soon called back by CARPET SHAGGER because the trail went east. VIRTUALLY HUNG and GLORY HOLE looked to be leading at this point with HORN-E trying to keep up. The trail ducked under a fence now I was FRB. Trail ran towards the lake and finally did cross Sheridan and ran behind some bar looking place on the lake maybe a good place for future summer on in. It was here I lost the pack and became the FRB.
Trail ran thru the Loyola campus and had a false trial towards the parking garage true trail ran north and behind the soccer/track field. Here there was a split and the trail ran over some rock behind an Apartment building on the lake and up the beach on the north side. Trail from here ran west and south until we came close to the corner of Devon and Clark where PRINCESS LABIA waited with the beer. CHICKEN the FRB waited for the pack on our next hasher in was JUST SHAINA so now we had our FRB and FBI. Soon the pack followed with BANK OF SPERMERICA, CALVIN KLEIN, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, and others rolling in. Our virgin Just HEE-JAI made it quickly to the beer stop as well. We sat under the street lights sucking on our beers for about ten minutes when SNATCHSQUATCH and R-TARD-E showed up late where had they been and what they were doing was up for debate but they did find the beer stop the goal of any hasher.
The pack made it back to the ON-IN where CALVIN our RA led us in circle and soon had our FRB and FBI out. The DFL’s were GUESS whom R-TARD and SNATCHSQUATCH. OUR virgins Just Joe, Just Jessica, Just John, Just Hee-Jai, and Just Julian learned what a down down was from the woman formerly known as I’M LATE AGAIN. IT’S TOO SOFT made it in his high collared shirt and tie with MOUNT SCHWINGA who won an award for best dressed hasher at some event. RENTA VIRGIN was in some kind of orgy tonight because she made all the virgins cum and PRINCESS LABIA kept shouting buy raffle tickets!! Overall it was a great backyard hash that lasted until the neighbor couldn’t stand us anymore.
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

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CH3 #1565

Hare(s): Stump Humper & Virgin Banger
Venue: Casa de Stumpy
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite extensive wind and water damage to the hash beer supply by Hurricane Ike.
Dare to stray outside the Green Zone to Rogers Park and come hash up North in the infamous Devon/Ridge/Clark Bermuda Triangle!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Loyola, hop the Devon 155 bus (runs about every 12 minutes that time of the day) right in front of the statio West to Paulina and hoof it just over a block South.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to pretty much anywhere you can catch an Eastbound bus to the Red Line. Then follow the directions from the Red Line, above. Neither easy nor elegant but saves the enviornment.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to block on Paulina between Highland and Thome, just over a block South of Devon. Parking should be as plentiful as government-funded bailouts of troubled financial institutions.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1564

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1564

Hash Trash
Sept. 15, 2008 The Levee
HARES: 69-cent man, Chicken Stiffer
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: CUmLord, Dick long and prosper, Pussy Galore
HASHERS: Its Too Soft, Virtually Hung, Lifa, Sir poops, Just Rolando, Horn-e, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, Carpet Shagger, Crop Duster, Just Dennis, MudSucker

TOTAL HASHERS – 17

Well the Hash Happened, but I do not know how the trail went because I manned the beer stop tonight. I can definetly saw I was in the minority tonight with Mexicans on all the street corners waving flags and celebrating Mexican Independence Day. A little bird did tell me that the trail was short and shitty with numerous small marks hidden along the way laid by master hare 69-Cent Man. Our FRB was Horn-e and LIFA with CUMS ON I LEAN using her bike to complete the trail because there were no walkers. SIR POOPS complained bitterly that we were serving MGD and he wanted TECATE to celebrate the day!!!! We made it back to the on-in and there was MUDSUCKER and ITS TOO SOFT waiting for us!!! We had a short circle and some fun. Quote of the night by ITS TOO SOFT “Is the Iowa? No its West Chicago.”

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CUBS WIN 7-6 over the hapless BREWERS!!!!

CH3 #1564

Chicago Hash #1564 – 9.15.08 @ The Levee – Mexican Independence Day Hash

Hare(s): $0.69 Man & Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Levee – 4035 W. Fullerton Ave., Chicago, IL 60639.
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite the Cubs’ typical “June Swoon” finally showing up in September!

Celebrate Mexican Independence Day. This is the major Mexican Holiday (and not Cinco de Mayo). The custom for this holiday is that on the night of the 15th, in addition to drinking/singing/drinking/dancing/drinking, there is this Grito (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grito_de_Dolores) ceremony, where the politician in charge hollers “Viva” (long live) and a series of names of people who are long dead, and the crowd answers “VIVA.” The RA will be given the script.

DRESS: In honor of the holiday, in lieu of hash attire, hashers are encouraged to wear something traditionally Mexican, such as sombreros, serapes, futbol shirts, luchadore masks, black hoodies, etc.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE (1 block west of Pulaski) by the Metra Station South side of Fullerton.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, hoof it a couplea blocks Northwest on Milwaukee to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton & KEYSTONE. I have never been there before but suspect parking should be rather okay.

CH3 #1563

Chicago Hash #1563 – 9.8.08 @ The Beaumont!

Hare(s): Just I Lean & Comes on I Lean
Venue: The Beaumont – 2020 N. Halsted
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite Hurricane Gustav being the biggest flop since Heaven’s Gate. Don’t worry tho, Hannah is coming.

What can we say… back to the GREEN ZONE and bar where more often than not we can’t drink all the hash cash!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Armitage, hoof it three short blocks East to Hasted and cut North about 50 yards to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, Armitage 73 bus to Halsted, hoof it 1/2 block to da bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Armitage and Halsted. You can park in the Lincoln Park High School lot but be sure to remove your sled before 10pm or you might be paying an additional $120 hash cash to Lincoln Towing by Cabrini Green!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1562

Hash Trash Chicago #1562
4th Annual Labor Day Hash @ Party Central SkyDeck

Hares: The CH3 Hare Triumvirate – It’s Too Soft (Lincoln Park Party Dude Extraordinaire), Lifa (CH3 Master Hare Level VII) and Just I Lean (CH3 Hare Rookie of the Year)

Hashers: Are They Real, Batteries Not Included, Calvin Klein, Cunt & Pasties, Cums On I Lean, Enema Canal, Free VD, Ginger Snatch, Grrreat Loch Ness Cockster, Happy Ass Grabber, Hoosier Daddy, I Like Dick, Just Brad, Just Chris, Just Joel, Just Joy, Just Nate, Just Rob, Magnetic Muff, Moan On Trail, Mudsucker, Odor Eater, Packher Ass, R Tard E, Rent-a-Virgin, Snatch Squatch, Special Head, Virgin Banger

Visitors: Davey Crochet (Atlanta), Choo Choo Caboose (Atlanta), Cookie Cumster (Waukesha), Drop Dead Hummer (Big Hump), Just Tim (Big Hump), Just Virginia (Madison), Return to Gender (Madison), Smell This (New York)

Chicago Hashers = 31
Visitors = 8
Total = 39!!

Absolutely perfect weather conspired to ruin what would have been an otherwise okay hash as the expected 20-25 die hards (we had 33 last year) swelled to 39 which like totally blew out our keg and Party Central had to dig into the backup food reserves, but I digress.

We started out with 26 die hards who made it out to Party Central to savor the glory of a freshly-tapped half barrel of Miller High Life before the hash started. What was intended to be entertainment for our locals has apparently turned into a visitor event too as we had NINE visitors show up for this, and not just random visitors in town for something else but peeps that wanted to come to this hash!

The first to show up were my co-hares Lifa and Just I Lean just after 11am. After a lively discussion about where to run trail and have a beer stop they headed out to lay Labor Day IV. I stayed back at Party Central to setup for the epic partyage that was to cum. The first non-hare to show was R Tard E who arrived just after 12:30 and helped with the keg run to Sam’s. Then arrived our visitors from Big Hump Drop Dead Hummer and Just Tim who drove five hours to catch CH3 Labor Day IV got to help out too and witness the Party Central Keg Hoist in action.

Soon other hashers started to filter in and the keg was tapped. Just when ya thought it was gonna stay sane, more visitors started showing up too. We had Party Central die hard Davey Crochet and his wingman Just Tim in from Atlanta. Then my good buddy and frequent CH3 event crasher at Party Central, Return to Gender and his sidekick Just Virginia rolled in from Madison. Lastly to my great surprise one of my favorite Waukesha hashers, Cookie Cumster showed up with her Chicago friend Just Joy.

After a quick chalk talk where we once again busted out the PPC bullhorn followed by a lightining round of introductions, the pack headed out East on my alley towards the lakefront and Lincoln Park, da actual park, not da hood. Things were going well as the pack enjoyed a scenic tour down the lakefront in the park until those incorrigible scoundrels from the dreaded Thirstday Hash hijacked the trail 15 feet off of the bike path and had an impromptu vodka pink lemonade stop to promote their upcoming Pink Dress Run. On a hot summer day the lemonade was greatly appreciated however I think the “trace levels” of vodka that it was spiked with were well below the EPA-allowable limit for vodka in drinking water from Lake Michigan, measurable only in parts per billion.

The pack then headed back on trail and got to the official CH3 beer stop in Oz Park by Lincoln Park High School where Ginger Snatch caught up with us to enjoy the greatness of Busch in cans. For some reason Calvin Klein remained MIA despite extensive marking and sweeping by the hares. This is not good because when you lose the RA on trail you know the hares will be punished with a veritable hailstorm of down-downs!

After that it was back to the Party Central SkyDeck with a straight shot North (Lifa pretty much acknowleged that anything other than straight back will be ignored by the pack).

Once back Calvin led another one of his great circles where the hares had enough down downs to fell a small elephant. We were joined by a slew of unexpected nonrunners (on top of the unexpected visitors) like Smell This & Cunt & Pasties, Mudsucker, Virgin Banger & Rent-a-Virgin, and even Indiana transplant Moan on Trail and her new roomie Just Chris.

After the circle, the pack was unleashed on the Party Central board of fare which included grilled lemon pepper marinade chicken breast bruchetta, barbecued marinade shrimp (yes Aussie fans, we had “shrimp on the barbie”), Italian pasta salad (thanks to Packer Ass), the infamous Fuji ultra-garlic carbo-load mostaccoli, and other snacks including Batteries’ spectacular artichoke dip. The pack was ravenous and all the food disappeared pretty much as soon as it was put out. Mad props to R Tard E for yet another great performance as grille master.

Due to the unexpectedly high turnout the keg was killed right as the circle was ending and Happy Ass Grabber stepped up to do a beer run coming back with four more 30 packs of the good stuff to keep the party going. After many rounds of flippy cup racing the pack consumed all the replacement beer and everyone headed back home, in good spirits.

Next year, if the weather is nice, I will learn my lesson and get TWO KEGS for 5th Annual Labor Hash in 2009!

In the meantime, a really fun campout hash is coming in two weeks, Indiana Intrahash in West Lafayette (only two hours South of Chicago!). http://www.indyhhh.com/intrahash.php

Party on on,
Fuji
Consigliere, Hash Flash, Web Dude and Chief Sarcasm Officer
THE Chicago Hash House Harriers

CH3 #1562

Chicago Hash #1562 8.31.08 @ Party Central SkyDeck – 4th Annual Labor Day Hash

Hare(s): The CH3 Hare Triumvirate – It’s Too Soft (Lincoln Park Party Dude Extraordinaire), Lifa (CH3 Master Hare Level VII) and Just I Lean (CH3 Hare Rookie of the Year)

Venue: Party Central SkyDeck – 933 W Wolfram St, rooftop (go up the back stairs) just Northeast of the brand spankin’ new Diversey Brown Line station.

Hash Cash: Still only $8 gets you more beer than you can shake a stick at, Labor Day BBQ cookout at the on in, some of the best urban shiggy trail to be found in the Green Zone aka Beverly Hills 60614, and lotsa Trixie/Chad sightings as you can never get enough “eye candy” on trail!
The Weather Gods are fixin’ to smile upon us again as the forecast for Sunday is 81 DEGREES AND SUNNY!!!

OMG where did Summer 2008 go? It’s been one massive blur of sun & fun, running, and more importantly, BEER but a great one!

To mark the last days of Summer 2008 we are holding our own version of “Closing Ceremonies” not in Beijing but right here in THE Chicago Hash House Harrier’s very own “Bird’s Nest Stadium”, the SkyDeck at Party Central!

Just like we do every year for Memorial Day and Labor Day, we move the regular hash to Sunday to allow the holiday Monday for recovery time!!!

Your hares promise spectacular trail and beautiful weather here in the heart of the Lincoln Park “Green Zone” and a blowout postparty that will involve serious grilled foodstuffs and keg(s) on the SkyDeck! While not historically as much of a “foody affair” as Memorial Day, Labor Day Hash has devolved over the years into more of a totally off-the-hinges Category Five Drinkstravaganza! However the food will still be good as always and we might even toss a few shrimp on the barbie.

Given that only 17 people blew out my keg at JV Hash #2 on the Skydeck this one could set more drinking World Records than Michael Phelps!

And who knows, we might even do an impromptu Summer Outdoor Movie night on the SkyDeck after the hash as the HD projector and 110″ diagonal screen just might be “available” and as always, out-of-towners (as well as hot local chicks) are always welcome to crash at Party Central as hotels in Chicago ain’t cheep. And now thanks to the Sony Outlet in Kenosha, Party Central is now equipped with Blu-Ray HD technology too!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to the recently re-opened Diversey stop (woo-hoo!!!), hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the Skydeck.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.