Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1538

Hash Trash: 3/30/08
Hares: I Like Dick, Just I Lean
Venue: Shenanagin’s

VIRGINS: Just Neil, Just Mike, Just Mike, Just Matt
VISITORS:
HASHERS- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Brian, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, PackHer Ass, Ballsalotapus, Or-GE, R-Tard-E, Rotten Whore, Cum in My Assfault, Just Rob, Just Rob II, Super Stuffer, Just Pat, Odor Eater, Just Teresa, Magnetic Muff,
VIRGINS= 4
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 32

Many members of the CH3 went down to Grant Park to run the Shamrock shuffle today. SALTY, PACKHER, CALVIN, ROTTEN, ITS TOO SOFT, CHICKEN, OR-G, ODOR, JUST TOM, and MAGNETIC MUFF all ran some respectable times. After the race the whole group enjoyed the second year of beer in a box. OR-G, I, and SALTY went around begging for beer coupons from runners who were not going to use them and we had over 150 coupons for free beer. By the time we got to the hash at 2 pm we were very wasted. 32-hasers showed up to hash today nice job!!

JUST I LEAN and I LIKE DICK were our hares for today and laid three trails a walking trail, a jogging trail, and running trail. The pack slowly arrived at the bar and we even had a 4×4 try to park on the division street sidewalk to hash with us. The hares gave the chalk talk and the pack was gone with OR-G leading it. The trail wound around the lakefront and worked its way back to SUPER STUFFER’s place where he and MOUTHFUL of MEAT waited for the pack to arrive. JUST I LEAN proceeded to throw a can of beer to the GM, which hit him in the eye. Thank God the beer was cold so I used it as an ice pack. The Beer stop was superb and the pack enjoyed the beer and then took off for the bar.

CALVIN KLEIN led circle from the dance floor perch at the bar. He greeted our new virgins JUST NEIL, JUST MIKE & MIKE, and JUST MATT. ROTTEN WHORE was a big NON-RUNNER along with ODOR. The FRB was OR-G? And FBI CUMMA SLUTRA? CALVIN had a great old time running circle he even called out SUPER STUFFER and sang to him while he flipped the boy upside down!! The circle brought in SALTY and PACKHER ASS for outstanding running times at the Shamrock and JUST ROB II drank for being a reboot.

By this time I was way to unsober to remember much of the night. I do remember that after the circle ROTTEN WHORE, BATTERIES, CUMMA SLUTRA, and Even R-TARD-E tried to pole dance on the bar but R-Tard-E didn’t have the body for the pole so he was dismissed. The other Pole dancers entertained the hashers and all the other denizens of the bar. JUST PAT and ASSFAULT played a little one on one? People get your mind out of the gutter there was a basketball court in the bar. It looked like all had a good time so we will see you next week!!! Hopefully 60-degree weather SUNDAY!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

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CH3 #1538

Hare(s): Just I Lean & Other Unindicted Co-Conspirators
Venue: She-nannigan’s – 16 W Division
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite the US Air Force awarding the $35 billion airborne-refueling tanker contract to the Northrup-Grumman/EADS consortium’s A330-based offering over the CH-3’s half barrel-based tanker proposal.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Clark/Division, hoof it 1 1/2 blocks East to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Division, Division #70 bus East to Dearborn, bar is between Dearborn and State.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to your nearest Red Line stop and take the L. Cheep parking is about as easy to find as Jager bombs in Mecca. If you must drive, your best bet is West towards Cabrini Green where it thins out a bit, for obvious reasons.

2008 Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team results are up! We finished respectablly but as expected did not beat the running shoe store teams as those people are running fanactics. Too bad there isn’t a beer drinking competition because our hash team would have flipped them like a cheese omelette!
Despite the rain and cold at the postparty a good time was had by all thanks to more beer tickets than we could possibly drink (which is saying something given we are HASHERS! Mad props to returning free beer ticket harvesting Champion Or-G (also our fastest runner!) as well as Deputy beer coupon collectors Chicken Stiffer and Salty Gash. OMG I must have had at least nine myself at the postparty and the hash was the kill shot for my day!

Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team Individual Results (top two times for each sex will count for the team overall results so Or-G and I will probably be the two dudes and Chicken Stiffer and Muff will count for the bimbos).

Beer in a Box 2008

+-+-> Pre-lube with the hash at the Shamrock Shuffle Postparty in Grant Park. Free Admission and Live Music by Maggie Speaks

Shamrock Shuffle Sunday – GAME ON!

The big day is almost here for those racists running in this Sunday’s Shamrock Shuffle 8K. The plan is similar to prior years’. The race starts 9:30am (note seeded corrals close 9:15). Plan on meeting after the race on the hill across from gear check, munch on some of the post-race food to build a base for the day, and then send out some volunteers to collect “donations” of drink tickets from departing runners who are not going to the party.

Once we get “enough” tickets, we’ll move over to the post-race party area and camp out wherever we can find a space large enough for the group, usually somewhere between the music stage and the beer tent. Don’t be a wanker and forget to grab an empty PowerBar box (or whatever you can find) for your “beer-in-a-box”. This year one of our Summer street festival favorites will be playing, Maggie Speaks.

The post-party is free and non-runners are welcome to join us after the race. It will be in Grant Park, East of Columbus between Balbo and Congress. Hit my cell if you can’t find us (312) 925-6386 as there will be a LOT of people there. Bring your ID as you will need it to get a wristband to get beer. Also pacing and food are important as this will be like St. Patrick’s Day – we start drinking 10:30/11am and essentially go all day until after the hash.

The party ends at 1:30pm, we usually have enough beer leftover to hold us till 2pm and then we’ll walk across the Loop to the hash at Stocks & Blondes (Washington & Wells). Note the combination of being up super early on Sunday, running the race, and then beer-in-a-box the rest of the time before the hash usually means a lot of the race runners are half in the bag before the hash so walking the trail is acceptable hash behavior.

Keep your fingers crossed for nice weather as many of treat this event as “Opening Day” for the 2009 Chicago Outdoor Summer Street Festival Season and ask anyone who’s been before, it’s usually a heck of a great time!

Party on on,

It’s Too Soft/Fuji

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1537

Hash Trash: 3/23/08
Hares: Virtually Hung, Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Virtually Hungs Casa

VIRGINS: Just Nora
VISITORS:
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, Bloody Thighs, Stab�em and Slab�em, Lockness Cockster, Just Pat, Special Ed Giver, PackHer Ass, KGB, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Mike, Mr. Cheese Cake, CP, Mudsucker
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 30

Last year saw the Easter Hash at Virtually Hungs place and 15 people showed, this year we doubled that to 30 hashers at casa Virtually Hung. Next year should we expect 45? The day was great for hashing with 45-degrees and Sunny and many hashers like WRAPPER SNATCHER, ASSFAULT, BLOODY THIGHS and others had on cute bunny tails when they ran. The chalk talk was completed in the alley behind VIRTUALLY HUNG�s place and the pack was off. CALVIN KLEIN was soon leading the pack east towards the lake with the LOCKNESS COCKSTER close behind. Mr. CHEESECAKE was out there somewhere but after the first missed check he caught trail heading east to Lakeshore Drive. The pack was stumped with a check on Lakeshore and Argyle until HAPPY ASS GRABBER and JUST PAT found the trail going north. Soon the whole pack like SALTY and PACKhER ASS were following the trail west but this was after there was a big long false trail that most of the pack hit. The trail went through the north side
neighborhoods until it ended at BLOODY THIGHS place. JUST NORA our virgin was the first woman in and the pack enjoyed a fine Special Export beer at the house of BLOODY THIGHS. We sat on our butts for 15 minutes and then it was getting cold so we ran back the couple of blocks to where we had more beer and CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT was making us some food.
Back at the home of VIRTUALLY HUNG we made the circle in the basement where CALVIN lead the circle in some songs? HAPPY talked about what does and does not happen after you get married to MILK MY YAK. The hares were punished numerous times for the crappy trail? But great food. KGB, 8675309, Mr. CHEESECAKE, and others were reboots. CP is now considered a visitor to the CH3, and MUDSUCKER missed the circle completely. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED announced that we now have a Hash Bar Wiki so hares can find bars in their neighborhood that are hash friendly. JUST STEFF and JUST I LEAN had to take off early so Steff could make her way to Madison via the bus at Midway. Eventually the circle closed and people began to go upstairs for food and more beer!! JUST BRIAN and JUST CHARLIE had a good time talking with CP. CP seemed to turn a little red during their conversations over what I have no idea. ITS TOO SOFT again was snapping all the pictures he could get before the hash
was over. Hope to see you next week at the SHAMROCK SHUFFLE POST HASH.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Mismanagement Agenda

CH3 Agenda
3/24/08 at 7 pm
Hidden Shamrock
2723 N. Halsted
GM REPORT

A. Budget
1. Verify funds We have $1078 in hash cash.
2. Hash Tax and cash kept at $1 per person and $6 total?
3. Turn over $1000 for new GM in 2009.
4. $248 sales in haberdashery with numerous shirts around
5. We have been self funded for the last six months NO HASH TAX HAS BEEN COLLECTED in six months
6. Ok New budget

B. ANTHRAX Hash �Quick notes
1. Technically is in the hole $179 but still have numerous shirts to sell
2. Do we do this again next year?
3. ANTHRAX HASH DEC. 20 2 pm?
C. Calendar
1. Polish Constitution day hash MAY 5, 2008 maybe will start at 7 PM sharp?
2. Memorial Day Hash SUNDAY May 25, 2008
3. POWER OF THE PUSSY (POP) July 11-13 Weekend!! Talk to MOM, Batteries, Salty, PackHer, Schwiinga, 867
4. Possible date for 1569 hash is October 18, 2008 marathon is Oct. 12 that date is out.
5. August 31, 2008 Labor Day Hash at ITS TOO SOFT. Also August 16, 2008 Air and Water Show Party
6. R-Tard-E wants to do a campout at his Place in Wisconsin over the Summer. Late July early August?

COMMITTEE REPORTS

D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars.
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line.

E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. If you want to be put on or taken off the CH3 Hareline tell him.
3. NEW CH3 Website will be out shortly thanks to ONE HANDED TYPIST

F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- MILK MY YAK WAS FIRED
1. The past two years have seen us make $800 dollars on Haberdashery sales. This year alone we have made $248
2. Have plenty of t-shirts to sell along with other left over things.
3. Might have to buy new lanyards this year no whistles needed yet.
4. New 30th anniversary design is out.

G. RA�s & circle: Calvin?
1. Do we want to train another RA?
2. New songs?

H. Misc

1. May 10, 2008 Waukesha Red Dress
2. May 17 INDY PROM DRESS Hash
3. JUNE 27-29 DAYTON CAMPOUT weekend
4. Sept. 6th Cubs in Sin City ROAD TRIP?
New Business

– Raise Hash Tax?
– Hare cost is rising do to large numbers have hashers showing up what do we do?
– Anthrax do we do it again or a Chicago Fire Hash in October with 1569?
– 30th Anniversary?

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1534

Hash Trash: 3/2/08
Hares: Rotten Whore, Odor Eater
Venue: Rottens Place

VIRGINS: Just Stephanie, Just Pops, Just Janet
VISITORS: Hot Lips
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Magnetic Muff, Just Ryan, Moldy Man Sac, Lifa, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Up Loader, R-Tard-E, Just Tara, Just Charlie, Just Tim, Just Andy, Just Kevin, Just Kristen
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 35

The day after hash ball was billed as a hangover hash and the GM came fully prepared to meet those conditions. I don�t know what the rest of you were thinking but shouldn�t all of you have come late to the hash with a raging headache and shaking knees? The day had 50-degree weather and with nice weather out comes the hashers, 35 hashers to be exact. I really can�t comment about the trail because I was on a bus making my way south, but I did hear that many people missed the beer stop? Good thing the hash ball had left an over keg for hashers at the on-in. I made it right in time for the circle run by our own CALVIN KLEIN. He quickly punished the hares, ROTTEN WHORE and ODOR EATER. Our FRB was I don�t fucking know and our FBI was I don�t fucking know because I was still drunk. I do know that we had three virgins show up that laughed their asses off at our hash songs. JUST POPS, JUST STEPHANIE, and JUST JANET cannot wait to come back next week. JUST TARA gets a shout
out for inviting them to the hash. JUST I LEAN finally turned 23 today and if you haven�t seen him we have renamed him TOM CRUISE��� Not!!!!! It was nice to see MOLDY MAN SAC and 8675309 make it out today I guess a warm Sunday without football is all we need to get him to hash. Please do not tell him about Arena Football. MILK MY YAK was pouring beer today for the hash. If you haven�t heard MILK MY YAK has been officially fired from the Haberdashery, but was been retained by the CH3 Mismanagement as the official Brew Master of the CH3 due to his supreme efforts of making tasty beer for the hash ball. CUMMA SLUTCHA and JUST BRAIN (our plumber) made it out today and even found time to down a few slices of Pizza, which I have been told is the largest pizza hashers have every seen in Chicago. That ZA was 22 inches strong I�m sure not as big as ITS TOO SOFT but close. Eventual the circle was closed and most came inside to await the arrival of that large pie. Well I hope
to see you out next week and check out the Green Dress Hash link if you are still thinking about joining 18 CH3 hashers in St. Louis.

http://www.big-hump.com/content.php?Green+Dress+2008

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM