Chicago Hash House Harriers – Page 129 – Every Week of the Year We Run for Beer

CH3 #1543

Hare(s): $.69 Man & Virgin Banger
Venue: Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple), 3121 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, 60618. The parking lot in the back is very small, so plan on street parking.
Hash Cash: $12, includes more Okocim beer than you can shake a stick at and the restaurant’s wonderful Polish buffet. Out at 7pm SHARPBEER: Keg of Okocim beer, as usual, will be provided by the Stanley Stawski Distributing Co., www.stawskidistributing.com . Just remember that Okocim has a high alcohol content, so if you guzzle this like Miller Lite or water, you will get drunk.

DRESS: Wear an Okocim, or other Polish shirt (provided that it is not from a non-Stawski Polish beer). Perhaps we will get more shirts this year.

Trivia time-out: if you are on the south side of George St., the first house east of St. Hyacinth Basilica (with the large statue of Pope JP2), is the one used in the movie “Stir of Echoes.”

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin (just before Milwaukee) hoof it South on Hamlin to Milwaukee and turn left (SE) about 1/2 block to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont. Cut 1/2 block South to Barry and either hoof it like six blocks West to Milwaukee or hop the aforementioned Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin, as described above, if you’re in a lazy kinda mood.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to just SE of Belmont & Milwaukee. Parking is ludicrously plentiful in Avondale and you may even be able to score a space in the restaurant’s lot out back. As Milwaukee is a diagonal street, the lot is kinda oddly-shaped in a sorta trapezoidal way.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1542

Hash Trash: 4/27/08
Hares: Its Too Soft and Lifa
Venue: Party Central 933 W. Wolfram

HASHERS- Chicken Stiffer, Cuma Slutra, Just Brian, Just Steve, The Enema Canal, Just Tim, Super Stuffer, Horn-E, Rotten Whore, Calvin Klein, Batteries Not Included, Just Rob, Lifa, Bloody Thighs, Wrapper Snatcher, Stab’em and Slab’em, MudSucker, Just Joan, Chip-n-Dale, Just Jody, Just Amanda, Cobwebs in the Bush, Virtually Hung, Stupid Man, Milk My YAK, Barks on All Fours, Mouthful of Meat, I Like Dick, Mount Me Puh’lzee, Mount Schwiiinga, Bag Squeezer, and Three Dogs (Not an actual name)
VIRGINS= 0
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 33

It was the last Sunday Hash of the season and the kennel showed up in force, testing the capacity of IT’S TOO SOFT’s skydeck. MILK MY YAK was operating, I believe, the only keg winch in Midwest existence. With the keg situated in its new home, the pack headed down to the alley for Chalk Talk. Our hares were none other than IT’S TOO SOFT and LIFA. With the talk and the introductions complete, the pack took off with I LIKE DICK, JUST JODY, and THE ENEMA CANAL in the lead.

The trail looked like it was going to be a fairly simple one but after the first check THE ENEMA CANAL got completely lost. He was able to find COBWEBS IN THE BUSH (her dog decided to mark his own trail at a most inopportune moment) to help get back on trail. Meanstwhile, CHICKEN STIFFER had started going free range and HORN-E had disappeared altogether. Up near the front VIRTUALLY HUNG, JUST JODY, JUST BRIAN, and CALVIN KLEIN were marking the true trails, the short cuts, and leaving choice words for any sweeping hares.

Unlike other hashes, the kennel was strung out from Diversey Harbor and past De Paul all the way to the beer stop which was directed by a BN, another BN, a BVN, and another BVN (That’s just cruel). The top deck of the parking garage was the perfect place to regroup and recover. The best part was quite a few of the hashers got trapped at the top behind a locked door looking out at the Fuji-mobile (slightly less popular than the Pope-mobile). CHICKEN STIFFER was the first to fall into the trap, followed by THE ENEMA CANAL who pounded the glass in futility, I LIKE DICK was next, and then ROTTEN WHORE finally showed up and became trapped with the entire pack mocking her.

With the beer check near depletion it was time to head back and IT’S TOO SOFT was on his bike when he was taken down by a corner (This is his second injury for April alone!) Feeling it was his civic duty, VIRTUALLY HUNG quickly created a chalk outline of the accident site to help IT’S TOO SOFT’s pending case on next week’s Judge Judy. With the accident site investigated we headed back down and started back to Party Central.

Once everyone had finally made it back with their puppies in baby carriages we started getting ready for the circle. The RA and GM donned their ceremonial robes and we started our singing of the hymnals. Our FRBs were JUST JODY and FLYING HOOTERS while our opposite end of the spectrum DFLs were ROTTEN WHORE and the very late BAG SQUEEZER. For making it a bestiality hash STUPID MAN, STAB’EM AND SLAB’EM, and COBWEBS were called into the circle. Despite having dogs with them, they were all pretty much near the rear of the pack, but then again STUPID MAN needs to teach his pup that you can’t hump a dog from the side. Bag Squeezer received his anointed whistle and lanyard for his tenth run, even if he did show up for just the end of it. ROTTEN WHORE and THE ENEMA CANAL were called out for their attendance of the Racist Rally in Ravenswood (12th analversary) which we later learned that BLOODY THIGHS had watched. CUMA SLUTRA and WRAPPER SNATCHER were called out for changing into their “Hey there, please sexually satisfy me boots.”

In a series of bizarre events, I LIKE DICK attempted a coup but forgot to secure support from the people for his “revoluccion.” Once the Coalition had taken back control, the accused was forced on his knees for his grievous violation and forced to drink. For all those that thought drinking out of new shoes was just an urban legend; JUST TIM and I LIKE DICK ignored the warnings and drank from their Asics-flavored vessels.

And the award for creepiest, most sleep preventing event was none other than HORN-E sticking his tongue in JUST AMANDA’s ear. So that it’s not the last thought in your mind, afterwards the circle was dissolved, SUPER STUFFER became our Iron Chef manning the grill station, and there was much inebriated socialism. Also when you see R-TARD-E and JUST I LEAN make sure you congratulate them on their elopement to Puerta Vallerta.

THE ENEMA CANAL
Hashspace Whore

Click here 4 GPS Map of da trail!

______

CH3 #1542

Hare(s): It’s Too Soft & Lifa
Venue: Party Central Skydeck- 933 W. Wolfram, rooftop
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite all of Fuji’s Bear Stearns stock going from $188/share to $10/share in less than a year. Kinda reminds ya of Enron. Includes keg & cookout at the on-in. PoP 8 “The Ocho” Regos will be available or click here for the PoP 8 Homepage.

Cubs will have been playing for almost a month now and the Chicago Hash House Harriers celebrates the arrival of “Summer” as we ring in the cutover to Monday nights at our last Sunday afternoon hash until October 2008! If but nothing else catch the infamous Party Central Keg Hoist in action for the first time in ‘08!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to the recently re-opened Diversey stop (woo-hoo!!!), hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the Skydeck.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1541

Hash Trash: 4/20/08
Hares: Cums On I Lean, R-Tard-E
Venue: Bridgeport Inn –> Chez I Lean
VIRGINS: Just Jody
VISITORS:
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Just I Lean, Cuma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Steve, KGB, The Enema Canal, Just Tim, Super Stuffer, Horn-E, Rotten Whore, Calvin Klein, Batteries Not Included, Giddy Up, Just Rob, Lifa, Bloody Thighs, Wrapper Snatcher, Happy Ass Grabber, Stab’em and Slab’em, MudSucker, Are They Real, EZ On The Ass, Just Joan, Chip-n-Dale
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 30

It’s not often the pack leaves the relative safety of the “Green Zone,” but with the change of weather it was decided to make our presence known in the SouthSide province of Bridgeport. Scouting out our trail was none other than R-TARD-E and CUMS ON I LEAN. At the chalk talk, we were told that this would be no ordinary trail as we would have not only the choice of ”Eagle” or “Turkey” but would also be presented with an “Option A” and an “Option B.” As usual, the trail began across the street and the pack was off with CHIP-N-DALE leading the way.

Crossing under the I-55 Stevie we came upon our first indication that this was indeed going to be an interesting trail. With an arrow pointing into a fenced-in yard, THE ENEMA CANAL took one look at the building and opened the gate and crossed the yard with WRAPPER SNATCHER, JUST JODY, and HAPPY ASS GRABBER right behind. Unfortunately the other gate was locked and the owner (squatter) came out looking at us all perplexed as we exited the yard.

While HAPPY ASS GRABBER was busy scaling the fence, JUST BRIAN and EZ ON THE ASS were already up the stairs and leading the pack along the railway. It wasn’t until the entire pack was already up on the tracks that we realized that we had fallen for a false trail. After some time, the pack picked up on the trail and began to lead us south of Archer Ave. After some time we came upon the Beer Stop only to find that our Hares were late. As we stood there plotting mutiny, R-TARD-E, CUMS ON I LEAN, and SUPER STUFFER showed up with our long awaited beer.

We have no idea how we ended up on the Eagle but after about 10 minutes we came upon a Back Check 54! Dumbfounded some of the pack like JUST TIM, GIDDY UP and STAB’EM AND SLAB’EM posed for one finger salutes while CHICKEN STIFFER was off looking for a shortcut. Arriving back at the Beer Stop, the pack led by CHIP-N-DALE and our virgin JUST JODY was busy getting to “Option A” and “Option B.” They took “Option A” which pissed off one of the nicest ladies we ever met hashing. She and CALVIN KLEIN engaged in metaphysical conversation while the rest of us decided to go with “Option B.”

At the On-In at Chez Cums on I Lean we enjoyed chips and smores prior to holding the circle. JUST JOAN showed up out of nowhere and BELLA the Malti-Lick-Poo (It’s a Maltese/Hasher/ Poodle mix) made a return appearance. Hash Hymnals were passed around and JUST BRIAN received his whistle for his 10th CH3 run. Our DFL was ARE THEY REAL after arriving when the circle was already halfway done. For his disruptive behavior, HAPPY ASS GRABBER was made an example of, forced to assume the position. LIFA was asked in his infinite experience to demonstrate Down Downs for our virgin. Certain members of the pack were unaccounted for but EZ ON THE ASS and MUD SUCKER are sure to show once again. After the closing of the circle many of us went to preview the site of next hash which we have been assured will be ready for the opening ceremonies, just like in Beijing.

THE ENEMA CANAL
Freelance Hasher

________

CH3 #1541

Chicago Hash #1541 4.21.08 @ Bridgeport Inn & Casa de Cum On Just I Lean

Hare(s): R Tard E & Cums on I Lean
Venue: Bridgeport Inn – 2901 S. Archer Ave. @ Loomis (New Hash Bar!!!)
Hash Cash: Only $8 despite a global spike in grain prices driven by a combination of demand for biofuels and a shift in developing markets towards increased meat consumption.

Join us in the South Side as the hash explores a new bar in scenic Bridgeport. Sox are in Tampa Bay so there shouldn’t be any traffic/parking issues. Liquor Store Weather Cat says Sunny & 63 degrees!

Update 4/18 – Despite this morning’s Magnitude 5.2 earthquake – “Big One of 2008”, CH3 Mismanagement would like to assure everyone that Sunday’s hash will proceed as scheduled presuming the fires are put out and power is restored by ComEd South of 26th St.

Who knows with all the looting we may be able to score some 30 packs of Carling Black Label for the beer check! Speaking of which, canned goods (Miller, Bud, Old Style, Blatz, etc) will be collected at Sunday’s hash for disaster relief.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview “The Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton. Brown Line to anywhere ini the Loop and transfer to Orange Line Midway (doesn’t matter which station b/c they run opposite directions and enter/exit on opposite ends so you will have to do the whole Loop one way or the other). Orange Line to Halsted, hoof it about 1/2 mile SW on Archer to Loomis. Loo-o-phobic Bus-o-philes can also take Halsted 8 down to Archer, given three track and slow zone L construction this may be the safer bet.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Clark/Lake. Orange Line to Halsted, hoof it about 1/2 mile SW on Archer to Loomis. Bus-o-philes can also catch the Halsted 8 off the Milwaukee/Grand Blue Line stop to Archer.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to the corner of Archer & Loomis. Best expressway option is Stevenson to Damen and the go NE on Damen to Loomis. I believe this area is mainly industrial so it should be relatively desolate on a Sunday and parking should be as common of a sight as the Sunday Morning “Walk of Shame” is in Lincoln Park.

If you hare allergic to expressways you can also shoot down Halsted to Archer and hoof it half mile to Loomis.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1540

Hash Trash: 4/13/08
Hares: Lower Whackoff
Venue: Gladstone Lounge

VIRGINS: Just Ben, Just Joan, Just Amanda
VISITORS: Dr. Anus
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Cums On I Lean, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Magnetic Muff, I like Dick, Just I Lean, Mount Me Puh�lzee, Just Steve, KGB, The Enema Canal, Virtually Hung, Or-G, Just Tim, Flying Hooters, Two Tickets to Pair-a-Thighs, Mouthful of Meat, Super Stuffer, Horn-E, Rotten Whore, BEST EFFORT: CALVIN KLEIN and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED (at a SOX GAME?)
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS= 1
TOTAL HASHERS= 26

Those of you that missed yesterday�s hash missed a trail that did very little pavement pounding. We all know that most of the CH3 hashes are pavement pounders but once in a while we get to go off road like we did today. LOWER WHACKOFF used copious amounts of flour to mark this trail and we even were questioned by Forest Preserve cops about seeing a possible Bow Hunter in the woods? I guess running like a deer would not have been a smart move today? We welcomed DR. ANUS and his bunny to the hash and the damned guy ran with it on his back all day. Today we had 3 new virgins that hashed with us JUST AMANDA, JUST JOAN, and JUST BEN made it out and had a great time with us. As we left the bar the denizens of place were getting ready for a Chili contest so we knew we had a free dinner when we got back thank God no one had Chili on the way out that could have been messy? JUST TIM raced in just before we got out on the street. LOWER WHACKOFF gave us hash directions and sent
us on our way North on Milwaukee. The leader of our merry pack was VIRTUALLY HUNG and OR-G they found trail wandering northeast until it hit the Chicago River area. We paralleled the river with VIRTUAL up front and TWO TICKETS being our front running bimbo.
The trail went down Central and back into the muck and mire of the Chicago River basin and HORN-E was now up front with the pack. We ran by the Edgewood golf course club house and came to a check. HORN-E went left but it was the wrong way. ITS TOO SOFT and I LIKE DICK spied some flour off in the distance of the woods but the trouble was it really was more like a swamp. DR. ANUS went tramping through the underbrush with THE ENEMA CANAL following his ANUSNESS closely. MOUTHFUL of MEAT, SUPER STUFFER, and JUST AMANDA were bringing up the rear. We found trail heading out of the woods near Peterson and Devon and we crossed the street only to find ourselves walking on more water with this LOWER WHACKOFF special trail. I LIKE DICK was particularly pleased with this trail because he praised LOWER WHACKOFF with each breath. I heard things like �THIS TRAIL SUCKS�, �DAMN MORE WATER�, and �THIS IS WORSE than A CALVIN TRAIL�!!! We cut out of the woods and crossed Peterson and ran
in a sub-division for a while here CUMMA SLUTRA was running with her buddy JUST BRIAN. JUST JOAN gave me a great break and said the trail was across the train tracks and I became the FRB and actually from there the beer stop was only a � mile away where MAGNETIC MUFF waited in her car with 60 cans of beer. When we got to the beer stop there were 7-8 cars backed into to their parking spots but when we left there were none I think they were intimidated by the hash. As I mentioned the Forest Preserve Police stopped by looking for some bow hunter but the only people that I saw hunting were FLYING HOOTERS and TWO TICKETS, our breast shields, seemed to be on the prowl for 23-year old police officers it was quite funny when they asked for his phone number and he said, �911�!! MOUNT ME was very displeased with these bimbo�s actions because it was flagrant disrespect of a police officer! The pack enjoyed their fine beers and went back out to central but our fearless ITS TOO SOFT
found a metal hoop in the woods that jumped out and tackled him on the concrete. ITS TOO SOFT had to auto hash back to the bar with MUFF, TWO TIKS, and HOOTERS.
We got back to the bar and everyone went straight to the Chili. We got some pitchers going and finished watching the CUBS who won in extra innings. VIRTUALLY HUNG took over the RA job today for CALVIN and ran the circle. OR-G and TWO TIKS were our FRB�s. The Non-runners were ROTTEN WHORE, JUST I LEAN, and CUM on I LEAN, who also played the part of Beer Mistress today. KGB was our DFL I think he actually came over from the second city hash today. ROTTEN WHORE proceeded to get a nice beer shower down the front of her shirt, are we not a little to old for a wet t-shirt contests? CUMMA SLUTRA and CUMS ON I LEAN got their 10-run lanyards and next week JUST BRIAN should get his, if he shows. The circle was short and sweet because there was chili to be had! I do not know about you but maybe this could be a good choice for best trail? Or better yet best ON-IN with free chili? After most of the hashers left FUJI, I, and JUST STEVE met up with BATTERIES and CALVIN in the
Green zone for a beer at Haligan�s. JUST STEVE on the ride in kept complaining about getting to the bar because �HE NEEDED BEER TO KILL HIS HEADACHE� See you next week for the 420 hash!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1540

Hare(s): Lower Wackoff

Venue: Gladstone Lounge – 5734 N. Milwaukee Ave

Hash Cash: A meager $8 for more fun than you can shake a stick at

View Larger Map

Sunday April 13th at 2 PM at the Gladstone Lounge, 5734 N. Milwaukee Avenue in Chicago. Bar phone is 773 763-3385. This bar loves the hashers. They are doing a chili cookoff in the bar on the same day. Lynette the bar owner says there will be room for all of us. Trail is sure to include shiggy. On On LW

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit

From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: This one’s a little tricky from Lincoln Park. Red Line to any major CTA East/West Bus (North Ave, Fullerton, Diversey, Belmont, Addison, Irving Park, Foster) to Milwaukee and catch the Milwaukee #56 bus Northwest to the Jefferson Park Blue Line station. Switch to the Pace #270 bus which leaves Jeff Park on the 00/20/40 minute mark of each hour and it’s about six minutes to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park. Switch to the Pace #270 bus which leaves Jeff Park on the 00/20/40 minute mark of each hour and it’s about six minutes to the bar.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Milwaukee & Mason (just North of Bryn Mawr, South of Devon). Parking is as plentiful as rats in an alley behind a restaurant in Ukrainian Village.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1539

Hash Trash: 4/6/08
Hares: Batteries not included, and Calvin Klein
Venue: Four Trey�s

VIRGINS: Just Andy, Just Lisa
VISITORS: Elmer Pudphucker
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Charlie, Just Tom, R-Tard-E, Just Pat, Magnetic Muff, Mount Schwiiinga, Cobwebs In the Bush, 8675309, Likes it on the Bottom, Sperm Diversion, I like Dick, Stab�em and Slab�em, Princess Labia, Just I Lean, Mount Me Puh�lzee, Coffee, Tea, or Me, Uploader, I�m Late Again, Just Steve, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Lifa, KGB, Bloody Thighs, Chip-n-Dale, BEST EFFORT- Salty Gash, Packher Ass
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS= 1
TOTAL HASHERS= 37

A great recipe for hashing is take a new spring April day add 60-degree weather and you get a great hash with close to 40-hashers. Our hares today were the venerable CALVIN KLEIN and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED. They took off with a good 20-minute head start for their live haring. This is not even close to the usually 5-10 minute head start most hares get, but maybe CALVIN is getting slow in his old age? The hash today saw many old faces rejoin the hash on such a beautiful day and we saw two new virgins as well. JUST LISA and JUST ANDY came to our hash because JUST Lisa�s friend hashes in Boise, Idaho!! We also welcomed back LIFA from the interhash and he was bearing gifts for some hashers! I�M LATE AGAIN, UPLOADER, COBWEBS IN THE BUSH, and LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM also came back to the CH3 today and we were happy to have them back. The chalk talk was done by yours truly but I did have a memorable moment dropping an F-Bomb when a family was walking by. The trail started
across the street and MOUNT SCWIIINGA was right on it with I LIKE DICK close behind. The trail went west and south for a while and UPLOADER was sniffing the trail out with SPERM DIVERSION scouting in front. ELMER PUDPHUCKER was having a great time running the trail with STAB�EM and KGB. I�m glad we were able to give him a semi-decent day to run on in Chicago. The trail here came back North and crossed over Addison and went west. JUST CHARLIE seemed to find trail today even though he was running with a dislocated shoulder from the Thursday Hash. The back of the pack saw the dog walkers today with COBWEBS in THE BUSH and JUST STEF bringing along their furry friends to the hash. 8675039, now part of the POP crew was out early today with the planning committee getting ready to show us a good time on July 12. COFFEE, TEA, or ME was out with Just Hannah? I believe. We crossed the Addison Bridge over the Chicago River and went north again.
We quickly found what has to be he last chunk of snow from the winter North of Brother Rice High School. We went North still crossing Irving Park Road until Magnetic Muff found trail crossing over the Montrose bridge back to the East. We meandered through the neighborhoods and CHIP-N-DALE along with SPERM DIVERSION found the Beer stop at Margie�s. CALVIN and BATTERIES found us a hole in the wall bar that even had the CUBS game on. We stayed at the beer stop for about � hour and watched the CUBS defeat the ASSSSTROs. It seems like our new virgins were having a good time and should be back sometime soon!! We were soon out and ran straight south on Damen back to the bar.
CALVIN got the circle going while MOUNT SCHWIIINGA and I�M LATE AGAIN kept the hash with full pitchers. Our FRB was SPERM DIVERSION and the FBI was MAGNETIC MUFF? CHICKEN STIFFER got a lot of lost property returned to him today. VIRGIN BANGER and RENTA VIRGIN showed up with a new pup so we had 3 dogs at this hash. The Virgin dog is a definite hash dog because it loved to drink beer, AWESOME!! JUST BRIAN is slowly approaching his 10th hash along with CUMMA SLUTRA and you know what that means, LANYARDS and whistles!! The circle went on for some time and then CALVIN got hungry so he closed the circle.
After the circle was closed we had three hashers that needed a naming so we sent JUST STEF, JUST TOM, and JUST PAT to the other part of the bar. The hash got together and throw out a bunch of suggestions things like Stubby, Pipe Blower, Triple D, Serves the Hard Rock, Lie on a lady, Blow me were heard in the FOUR TREY�s but JUST PAT�S name is now 3 x A LADY, JUST STEF is now CUMS ON I LEAN, and JUST TOM is now BAG SQUEEZER!!! Next week the hash is up in the 5600 north block of Milwaukee at the Gladstone Lounge. Be watchful of the POLISH CONSTITUION DAY HASH on May 5 and Memorial Day hash on May 25. If you want to travel come to Indy on May 17 or Waukesha on May 10th.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1539

Chicago #1539 Sunday 4/6, 2pm @ Four Treys

Hare(s): Batteries Not Included & Calvin Klein

Venue: Four Treys – 3333 N. Damen (at Roscoe)

Hash Cash: Now $8 as per vote at the last MisManageMent Meeting, but still a great bargain given former New York governor Elliot Spitzer dropping 80 grand on hookers last year. Most of the rest of us don’t even pull down 80 large a year so we have to make due with considerably skankier ho’s.

View Larger Map

This should be interesting as a Calvin Klein trail in Roscoe Village is always full of clever stuff to confuse the pack! No food at this crib but lotsa local options and free pool!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to the newly re-opened Addison stop, hoof it two blocks West to Damen and two blocks South to Roscoe. Note the Paulina Brown Line stop just closed so don’t even think about it.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Addison, Addison #152 Bus East to Damen, hoof it two blocks South on Damen to Roscoe.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Roscoe & Damen. Parking is usually quite findable for a yuppie ‘hood as there’s lotsa single family homes in the area but watch out for new resident permit zones which infest Lakeview like 17-year cicadas did last spring.