Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1548

Hash Trash: 6/9/08
Hares: Super Stuf�her, Mouthful of Meat, Just I Lean
Venue: Time Out Sports Bar
VIRGINS: Just Cynthia, Just Betsy, Just Karina
VISITORS: Footloose and Panty Free
HASHERS: One Penis Full, Zero to Sixty, Horn-e, Just John, Just Brett, Just Ray, Mount Schwiiinga, Milk My Yak, Just Angelle, More Tail, Risky Business, Lifa, Cumma Slutra, Hoosier Daddy, Just Amanda, Just Sooz, Just Amy, R-Tard-E, Chicken Stiffer, Mud Sucker, Bloody Thighs, Just Tim, Just Julia, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Cums on I Lean, Giddy Up, Its Too Soft, Carpet Shagger, I Like Dick, Bang Me, Blow Me, Get Me Off, Bag Squeezer, Just Alexis

The afternoon began ominously with heavy rains at 2 pm but CALVIN our Religious Advisor (RA) made a deal with mother nature and got us great running weather at 7:30 pm. MOUTHFUL OF MEAT gave us instructions for the trail paying great attention to details so our virgins would know what to do on trail. Her only mis-step was she left out they were using red flour on trail but what the hell. JUST CYNTHIA, JUST BETSY, and JUST KARINA decided to try this hash thing for the first time and hopeful we will see them again next week. Mouthful finished with the chalk talk and pointed us to go north. The Pack was off and soon had traffic stopped at the corner of Rockwell and LeLand. LIFA and JUST JOHN looked to be leading the pack through the beautiful but puddle filled Ravenswood area. FOOTLOOSE and PANTY FREE was kind enough to show the GM which way the hares went, and they went NW across Lawrence. Again you couldn�t have asked for a better night to hash with the temps
only in the low 70�s all night. We had plenty of help on trail with hashers like BLOODY THIGHS, CALVIN, LIFA, and CHICKEN STIFFER marking trail for the slower hashers. The trail ran close to the house of JUST AMANDA and VIRGIN BANGER but then turned back south through Lincoln Square. JUST TIM was leading the pack and the hares tried to be funny by laying a circle jerk but most of the back of the pack caught it and ran straight down the alley instead of wasting their energy. The pack found trail going thru Welles Park across from O�Lanagans, a great hasher bar, in the past. The Check here was a little confusing but MORE TAIL along with others figured it out. HORN-E was pointing people to run south but ran west himself down Montrose? Later we caught up with him on trail talking to Ex-GM MUDSUCKER. The next check was on Irving Park near the River and our good Friend BAG SQUEEZER found trail going west on the south side of Irving Park but it eventually crossed back over
and went to the corner of Kimball and ADDISON. Here the hares were lucky because there was a drinking fountain on trail that the pack used. The pack had a choice of an eagle-turkey split here and JUST ALEXIS and JUST CYNTHIA went on the eagle trail with no hesitation. I believe JUST JULIA, BAG SQUEEZER, and CUMMA SLUTRA went right with them on the longer trail. MUDSUCKER, JUST ANGELLE, RISKY BUSINESS, and some others ran thru the park doing the turkey trail. I waited around for Calvin and we did the Eagle trail after I marked the Turkey split as the ON-ON trail for our walkers. CALVIN and I caught up with HOOSIER DADDY on the other side of the park and along with JUST ANGELLE we ran into the beer stop at Sunnyside Park?
The Park was full of mosquitoes and they seemed to be having a field day on JUST BETSY because she kept hitting herself again and again. JUST AMY enjoyed the fine can of Schlitz she found in the cooler while most got stuck with a fine beer from the Czech Republic called Budweiser. We finished our beers and meandered back to the bar 4 blocks away. Back at the bar we had to wait for a couple of locals to finish pool and then beg to get the music turned down but eventually we got the circle going. MANY THANKS GOES TO CUMS ON I LEAN for dealing with the bartender who was not a pleasant person tonight even though the hares got the ok from the bar owner to use his bar. CALVIN got the circle running and preceded to handout out down-downs for FRB�s, DFL�s, and RE-boots. WE got BANG ME, BLOW ME, GET ME OFF, Mount Schwiinga, CARPET SHAGGER, and ITS TO SOFT for not even running trail. JUST TIM was accused of farting on trail in front of CUMMA SLUTRA and was nailed for it or was
CUMMA SLUTRA nailed? JUST ALEXIS seemed to be using technology on trail but come on she�s an urologist and has to be on call in case someone�s inflates blow! I LIKE DICK even decided to make it to the ON-IN after work and boy did the group miss DICK and he even got his 3.2 down-downs. GIDDY UP announced that the CH3 hash is next week MONDAY JUNE 16 at Lotties in the BUCK TOWN neighborhood. JUST SOOZ and JUST AMY were making merry in the corner and it was nice for JUST SOOZ to make this her second hash in 6 months? CALVIN finally ended this circle of death and many hashers went their own ways. The hash did get together to perform a couple of namings tonight. JUST TIM who we tried to name last week was honored with the name of �CROP DUSTER� for his flatulence on trail. JUST ANGELLE was given the �INTERNATIONAL VIRGIN� because every overseas hash she goes to she claimed she was just a virgin. See you next week and plan for the 30th ANNIVERSARY on JUNE 23, 2008!!!

Chicken Stiffer