CH3 #1746

Mon, Sept 26, 7PM
Venue: Shoe’s Pub
Hares: Mt. Schwiiinga

As some of you already know, I’m running my FIRST marathon in Chicago on October 9th, and I’m doing it on behalf of PAWS (the organization where I adopted Artie from).

So, I’m doing a special, dog-friendly hash to help with my fund-raising efforts and I hope you’ll join me. The bar is really awesome and they’ve agreed that for every pitcher we buy, $2 will go to PAWS, so even more reason to drink up! (Not that we need any). And here’s another one: I’m bar tending! (So please be prepared to tip generously)

Plus, I’ll be selling a hash-centered marathon T-Shirt for anybody that’s interested. (See above) If you’d like to buy one, please log in to my fund-raising page and donate at least $20, then let me know your name and size!

http://pawschicago.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=451667&supId=326350730

On-On, and thanks for the support!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1744

The Tale of the Trail
A Pussy Chunder Hash 19 Sep 2011 by Horn-E
Pussy Chunder set this hash out of Carol’s for $5/Pitcher night. I counted a case of hounds at the start and we soon took off to the east and a quick Split. Horn-E went right, wrong, and Ass Capades zipped past him like a man on a mission. He apparently was. Meanwhile the trail went straight and Horn-E now was way behind. We worked our way to Lawrence and the last hasher Horn-E saw was Just Luke waving him on east. At the corner no one was in sight and Horn-E went two blocks before returning to find a hidden arrow in an alley and still no one in sight. Heading south, he found a Triple Split at the end. Left, wrong, right, wrong, and he headed straight when he noticed Lifa returning. Huh. He yelled Back Check 22 and he was on 12. WTF. No, let’s make that, ‘What the fuck’. Was Pussy Chunder trying to take the Back Check Hell title from R- Tard-E? So while Lifa ran on counting, Horn-E guessed that it went to that first Split and headed over to Wilson and Dover to see if Ass Capades was on to something. No marks. Then along came O’Shitty Runch and 10 K Tika Ho. Lost also. O’Shitty Runch said he saw a mark near Lawrence and Ashland so we headed that way. Heading north on Ashland we suddenly saw a pack of hounds coming from the east. What we didn’t know was that the Back Check 22 went back to the bar for a Shot Stop and that Ass Capades set an impromptu beer stop across the street in a little park. Anyhow, here was a Check. We already got south checked, and the pack came from the east, so O’Shitty Runch led to the north and Horn-E took off to the west. At the next corner Horn-E was On two, but looking back, the pack was gone. He headed north and was soon On ON and at Lawrence he found O’Shitty Runch and a Three Way Split. Horn-E kept going north and was On. But again looking back, no one was in sight. Finally after picking wrong at a Split, about four or five of us merged and headed north and west, through an alley and to Ravenswood and another Check. Horn-E went north and found no Checks, but a great spot for a Shot Stop. A boutique Distillery. Yeah. Heading back south we found trail around the tracks and back north to a Split at Foster. Just Michael went right and was right. We now were heading north and the Ravenswood Tap is north. A great spot for a Beer Stop. Just Michael ran right past a Check in the shadows and soon called On. Horn-E followed and we came to a Triple Split north of there. ON to the Ravenswood Pub. Not. Soon Lifa and some other hashers were returning from there. The Triple Split led to nothing but Falses. So Horn-E headed south through alleys and back to that last Check. But suddenly, the pack arrived and was calling On through this tunnel. Again, not. Does anyone see that Check in the shadows or are they all just ranging. But Little Trojan Annie was carrying what was left of the first beer stop and Horn-E snagged a can to drink while running. Yeah, it’s hard and goes flat quick so you have to drink it quick. So Horn-E and Just Luke head east and suddenly hear a whistle ahead. Who? Where? We run on east before Horn-E crosses the street and finally finds an arrow and we are On. Chicken Stifer leads our little pack south on Clark to a Check at Foster. He headed for an alley. Horn-E heads south running into Lifa and we find an arrow, but it goes nowhere. Horn-E returns to the Check and heads east with Just William on opposite sides of the street. Just William finally finds an arrow and we soon spot a BN going into a parking lot. Horn-E blows his horn and the pack follows. We go one block south and then east two blocks. We are now at Clark. One more block south and then back west to the beer stop in a back yard.
…..Where did all of these people come from. Several faces we didn’t see on trail even when we thought we were in front. And two were still missing. Finally Just Jeff and 10 K Tika Ho arrived about ten minutes later.
…..After the beer we had a long walk back to the bar. Beer started to flow and a circle was called and many drank, especially that damn hare. Donut Holer was called out for being a visitor and the FRB. We also had a Virgin, Just Hattie. She laughed a lot at the songs and enjoyed the run, so hopefully she will return.
We also had these Trail Hounds. R-Tard-E, SnatchSquatch, Poultry Fucker, The Dark Kunt, Just Kristin, That Thing That Vibrates, Hoosier Daddy, Back Door County, Just Liz, Just Tim, and The 69 Cent Man. And we had two House Puppies, Its Too Soft and Cum In My Ass Fault.
x
On On
Horn-E

CH3 #1744

Chicago HHH Run #1744

Monday 9/19 – 7:00 PM

Hares: Chunder Pussy

Venue: Carol’s Pub – 4659 N. Clark St

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: Tired of the North Side yet? Too bad! We’re back off the Red Line again this week, this time we’re venturing a bit further South so that we can see the beauty that is Uptown. Did I say beauty? Meant to say ghetto.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the Red Line headed towards Howard. Exit the train at the Wilson stop and notice how it smells like pee. Head West along Wilson past the crackwhores and then North when you get to Clark.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the 50 Damen bus North to Lawrence. Transfer to the 81 Lawrence bus heading East, noticing how the neighborhood gets worse with every passing block. Hop off the bus at Clark and head South a block, hoping that you don’t get stabbed along the way.
Driving 🙁
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Clark and Leland – park your car and wave goodbye to it, as it will probably get jacked while you’re on trail.

CH3 #1742

Chicago HHH Run #1742

Sunday 9/4 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Chicken Stiffer, That Thing That Vibrates, & Just Annie

Venue: Ollie’s Lounge – 1064 W. Berwyn Ave

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Hash Cash: $8

From da Hares: This is A —> B. There will be food and beer. Shag wagon for bags. There is a pool at the end so bring Swimwear. If you drive you will have to get your car after the trail. The B will be posted on the hash line after we start if you wish to make the ON-IN and it is CTA accessible.

From da GM: Labor Day? Already? Where the hell did the Summer go? Oh well, at least we’ve got one more big blow-out party planned for you – why else would you need three hares for a trail? Nevermind that two of them have never set trail before and that they’re being taught by the biggest free-ranging bastard in existence. Nope, this one is going to be a good one.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the Red Line headed towards Howard. Exit the train at the Berwyn stop and head East along Berwyn. If you can’t find the bar, you’re stupid. From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to the Loop. Transfer to the Red Line headed towards Howard. Exit the train at the Berwyn stop and head East along Berwyn. If you can’t find the bar, you’re stupid.

Driving 🙁 Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Berwyn and Winthrop. If you can find parking then you’re lucky because this neighborhood is as bad or worse than Lincoln Park for that shit. Also, this is an A —> B, so what the hell you driving for any way, stupid?

CH3 #1741

Chicago HHH Run #1741
Monday 8/29 – 7:00 PM

Hares: O’Shitty Runch

Venue: Rocking Horse – 2535 N. Milwaukee Ave

Hash Cash: $8

From da Hare: It’s gonna be an A to B. The B is relatively close to the A. Starts out of the Rocking Horse on Milwaukee in Logan Square. I’ll try to make sure a shaggin’ wagon is available for people’s crap then we’ll go pick up the car after the beer stop, which is the On In. I’m looking at having at least 10 bottles of champagne – gonna be a fancy pants hash. And food. There will probably be some food.

From da GM: Hopefully O’Shitty Runch has learned his lesson from the last time he hared a CH3 run (#1715 back in April), and this trail won’t be especially shitty. I’m not holding my breath.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop onto the 74 Fullerton Bus going West and head over to Milwaukee. Hoof it Northwest up Milwaukee a few blocks – if you hit Logan Square you’ve got too far.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Head Southeast down Milwaukee.

Driving 🙁
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Milwaukee and Logan – knife fight some hipsters on bicycles for a parking spot.

CH3 #1740

Chicago HHH Run #1740
Saturday 8/27 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Glory Hole

Venue: Paulie’s – 1750 S. Union St

Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: Traditionally this is our Greek Town run, but it looks like another great hash bar is closing on us, so we’ll be running out of Paulie’s and maybe working out way up to Greek Town instead.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop onto the 8 Halsted Bus going South and head down to 18th St. Hoof it East over to Union.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Grand. Head out of the subway and transfer onto the 8 Halsted heading South. Stay on the bus until 18th St, then hoof it East over to Union.

Driving 🙁
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Union and 18th.

CH3 #1739

Chicago HHH Run #1739

Monday 8/22 – 7:00 PM

Hares: 10 Dix With Wings & Way Too Much Jism

Venue: Loafers – 2600 W. Lawrence

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: 10 Dix With Wings has been really busy all summer long doing something or another, but now she swears that she’s done and that she’ll be able to hash with us once again. In order to celebrate, she’s going to lay trail – you know, because not running often leads to the hares have only the best ideas for trail!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Brown Line to Rockwell. Hoof it North to Lawrence. From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western. Transfer to the 49 Western Bus heading North. Hop off the Bus at Lawrence and hoof it West to Rockwell.

Driving 🙁 Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Rockwell and Lawrence.

CH3 #1738

Chicago HHH Run #1738

Monday 8/15 – 7:00 PM

Hares: Man-o-Whore & Virgin Banger

Venue: Jefferson Tap (325 N Jefferson St. Chicago, IL 60661)

Hash Cash: $8

From the Hares: May be A-to-B and A may change, so please check this site on Monday.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂

From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: You’re screwed no matter what route you take. Closest dropoff points are either #8 Halstead bus to Fulton St or Red Line to Lake, Transfer to Green Line (which is a delicious Goose Island Pale Ale), and take the that to Clinton. It’s up to you to figure out how to move your legs towards the bar. From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the Blue Line to Grand. Continue walking down Milwaukee, turning south on Desplaines. Finally, take a left on Wayman.

Driving 🙁 Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Wayman & Jefferson. Not sure why we include this instruction, because if you’re too stupid to Google this, maybe you shouldn’t have a driver’s license.