Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1527

Hash Trash: 1/13/08
Hares: Chicken Stiffer, Stupid man, Stab�em and Slab�em
Venue: Holiday Club

VIRGINS: Just Mike and Just Suse
VISITORS:
HASHER- Just Rob, Sugar Nipples, Just Rob II, Calvin Klein, Just Alex, Are they Real, Nuttin Bitch, Just I Lean, Its Too Soft, Bloody Thighs, Lifa, Horn-e, Virtually Hung, Special Ed Giver, Just Tyrone, Princess Labia,
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 21

The Weekend actually started off on SATURDAY when PETERBILT, SHAVE MY WIFE PLEASE, ITS TOO SOFT, JUST JESSICA, JUST LARRY, ARE THEY REAL, PACKhER ASS, JUST ALEX, BALLSALOTPUS, and I watched the Packers play in the snow bowl and beat the Seahawks after giving up 14 1st quarter points. WHAT A GAME!!

The GM laid the trail live from the Holiday Club. I planned the trail with STUPID MAN who was to be our sweeper today. I warned him about the first check because the trail bent back on itself about 170 degrees. I was told By JUST ROB and CALVIN that it was a good check and seemed to catch most of the pack unawares. From here the trail ran back towards Wrigley and Graceland Cemetery since I was the hare I do not have many stories but I do know JUST I LEAN and JUST ROB II were complaining about some circle jerk that happened on trail. They told me it really sucked to be out in front of people like LIFA but soon found themselves at the back of the pack? JUST TYRONE was the one who burst through the crack house fence only to see it snap back on JUST ROB sorry but you got to keep your cranium up!! I waited at the beer stop and soon the pack arrived with CALVIN and JUST ROB leading the pack in. VIRTUALLY HUNG, earlier in the day, had ripped of the doorknob to his back gate
so many hashers got locked out of the beer stop until the proper keys arrived. JUST MIKE and JUST SUSE seemed to enjoy the run today now would they enjoy the beer? Everyone enjoyed the beer stop but HORN-E who seemed to have gotten lost once more, boy am I in for some poop. It must have been that terrible trail I laid that even the virgins found?
We got back to the bar and CALVIN ran circle. We said hello to long lost NUTTIN BITCH and SUGAR NIPPLES who have not hashed for about 1-year. STAB�em and SLAB�em snuck gyros into the bar and we sympathize with STUPID MAN whose knee went out. Hopefully he will be up and hashing in no time!! JUST ALEX was our NRB and LIFA drank his usual good beer much like MILK MY YAK!! PRINCESS LABIA showed up and was drinking Shirley temples today instead of beer. She says she was saving her strength for the hash cruise in a couple of weeks. BLOODY THIGHS purchased herself some new haberdashery, which looked great on her. While SPECIAL HEAD GIVER came straight from Hawaii to run with us today. After running the circle for a while hash pizza came and so we sang swing low. The last seen leaving the bar was ITS TOO SOFT, JUST TYRONE, and JUST I LEAN.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1526

Hash Trash: 1/6/08
Hares: Mouthful of Meat and Super Stuffer
Venue: Glascotts ———> Kelly�s Pub

VIRGINS: Just Allison, Just Rob, Just Marty
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Uploader, Schinitzel Squeezer, Triple D, Just Rob, Packher Ass, Just Rob II, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Just Jonathon, Milk My Yak, Barks on All Fours, Just I Lean, Its Too Soft, Mount Me Puhl�zee, Just Tom, Just Molly Totally Butch, Mount Schwiiinga, Flying Hooters, Chip-n-dale
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 26

The trail started from Glascotts�s bar but wouldn�t end there. The Hares made some great decisions by having a beer stop outside as well as the ON-IN be outside in 60 degree weather in the middle of January!! SUPER STUFFER and MOUTHFUL OF MEAT laid a great little trail that wound around the south Lincoln Park area. They even found a ON-IN bar that had free parking next to the bar!! The pack was lead by CHIP-N-DALE most of the day until he had to stop and write tickets for parking offenders. You see on top of his tight running pants he wore what most Chicago meter maids wear when writing their tickets, I guess at least you could see him? JUST I LEAN was being very manly and helping JUST ALLISON find her way around her first hash. JUST ROB II seemed to run the hash in penny loafers and jeans, I thought we already had a HOT PANTS? We were happy to see JUST TOM make it back for the first time since the ANTHRAX hash of 114 people. TOTALLY BUTCH was back from her win in
IOWA maybe we should have named her BARACK OUT WITH YOUR CAUCUS out? The hash made it to the beer stop where JUST ROB II took on JUST MOLLY in the shotgunning contest and totally annihilated her. It was so warm out that JUST JONATHON and JUST I LEAN played Frisbee in OZ park. CALVIN was in dismay that we left the beer stop and still had beer but many wanted to get back for food and warmer clothes?
The ON-IN was at KELLY�s PUB in their back area. We totally surprised our visitors UPLOADER, SCHNITZEL SQUEEZER, and JUST MARTY with all the hash songs we sang. I know I was horse by the end of the night. MOUNT SCHWIIINGA played the part of a comely beer wench this night and I thank her for it. CALVIN ran the circle and soon called for the virgins JUST MARTY, JUST ROB, and JUST ALLISON into the circle for their down-down. CALVIN asked MOUNT ME to demonstrate a down-down but all we got from him was his impersonation of �THAR HE BLOWS� from MOBY DICK? Maybe we need to rename that man. Anyway after the MOUNT ME debacle the virgins sucked back their beers nicely and we continued on for another marathon circle. TRIPLE D was called in for being a reboot while CHIP-N-DALE had no hash gear on? YAK was made to suck down his good beer and BARKS drank for being so beautiful. PACKhER ass drank for flogging behavior on New Years Eve and BATTERIES was giving away old hash
shirts. Eventually the hash came to a close but not before ITS TOO SOFT laid a big one that cleared out the entire bar area and made the fire department show up with gas masks on and hazmat suits at the ready.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1526

Chicago Hash #1526 @ Glascott’s/Kelly’s Pub – Kickoff 2008 Hash

Hare(s): Mouthful of Meat & Super Stuff’her
Venue: Glascott’s @ Webster & Halsted – 2158 N. Halsted
Hash Cash: $6 – still as of now unaffected by either $100/barrel crude oil or Barack Obama’s win in Iowa

View Larger Map
Get your hashing year started off right with our first official Chicago Hash of 2008! There are two very unremarkable NFL wild card playoff games which will also be on TV for your additional enjoyment. Note: despite the bar location, the beer stop will NOT BE AT PARTY CENTRAL.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it two blocks East and two blocks South to Halsted & Webster or hop the Brown Line to Armitage and hoof it two blocks North and two blocks East to H&W. Or take the Halsted #8 bus from anywhere near Halsted to Webster.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California and take the Fullerton #74 bus East to Halsted, hoof it two blocks South to Webster.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & Webster. Park on a side street, Zone 143 permit doesn’t kick in until 6pm or if you’re lucky grab a meter spot on Halsted. Note there’s a lot of non-zone parking just East of Halsted next to Oz Park.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1525

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1525

Hash Trash: 12/30/07
Hares: Just Jonathon & Just I LEAN
Venue: Atlantic Irish bar

VIRGINS: Just Kym, Just Bill, Just Kevin, Just Josh, Just Erin
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Mouthful of Meat, Just LOU, Just Tyrone, Or-g, Just Rob, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin
VIRGINS= 5
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 15

Another typical small hash due to the holidays hopefully the 50-degree weather this weekend will see a larger group of hashers out. JUST I LEAN laid trail for the second time in week with JUST JONATHON. They laid a trail that never made its way more than ½ mile from the bar but it wound around so much that it seemed that we ran over 3-4 miles today

JUST BILL had too much beer before trail and had to take a break behind one of the local trashcans. JUST KYM did claim she was out of shape but she seemed to keep with the pack very nicely. MOUTHFUL OF MEAT and RENTA a VIRGIN kept to the back of the pack and had a nice conversation on trail. They even found a perfect short cut back to the bar. JUST KEVIN was a bottomless beer pit maybe we should charge him double hash cash for drinking all of the beer.

VIRGIN BANGER even rolled out of bed to make it too the hash that was a few blocks from his house. JUST LOU decided to even make an appearance today at the hash. We eventually made it to the beer stop with JUST JOSH leading us in to an old style beer stop and we killed that 30 pack between all of us.

We got back the bar and I ran the circle I put OR-G in between all of the virgins so they we have someone nearby that knew all of hash songs. JUST ROB was punished for being a wimp and not running today but we forgive him NOT!!! Well the hash was fun and OUR hares JUST I LEAN and JUST JONATHON found a really great hash bar. Hope to see you this weekend when we have 50-degree weather.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1525

Chicago Hash #1525 @ The Atlantic: Eve of the Eve Hash

December 30, 2007 8:23 pm / itstoosoft
Hare(s): Just I-Lean & Just Jonathan

Venue: The Atlantic – 5062 N. Lincoln (2-1/2 blocks straight up Lincoln from the Western Brown Line stop)

Hash Cash: $6 – Outsourcing to India and China of noncritical CH3 backoffice operations such as the employee cafeteria, Accounts Payable, IT, Global Supply Chain & Logistics, Customer Service, Audit, Aircraft Fleet Maintenance, and the Help Desk as well as tactically-opportune purchases of subprime mortgage-based SIV’s and the sale of and subsequent lease back of the CH3 Tower in the Loop allow the CH3 to streamline operations and offer hashes at up to 20% less than other area shops. Harlots will continue to be sourced domestically pending the outcome of union negotiations with the UAW as well as fluctuations in the price of Ytterbium.

Somebody please take some pix of this event as the Fujirazzi will be at Lambeau Field watching the Packers whoop all over the Lions and drinking tons of Wisconsin’s finest BEER! Given the way they did against the Bears last week thus losing home field advantage in the playoffs there will probably be fewer starters on the field than an August preseason game against the Dolphins – D’OH!!

These cats say we get $6 pitchers!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, hoof it about t 2-1/2 blocks Northwest up Lincoln to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, #81 Lawrence bus (runs every 8-11 mins) East to Lincoln/Western, schlep 2-1/2 blocks Northwest on Lincoln to bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Lawrence and Winnemac (about 2 blks West of Western). Parking is generally okay in this area on Sundays on the side streets, better to west of Lincoln.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1524

Hash Trash: 12/23/07
Hares: Chicken Stiffer & Just I LEAN
Venue: Morgan’s

VIRGINS: Just Allison, Just Nick
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Horn-e, Stupid Man, Prick of The Litter, Mud Sucker, Full Term
VIRGINS= 0
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 8

Boy after having a hash the weekend before of 114 hashers we had one of the smallest hashes this year today. Guess it was good we had Anthrax the weekend before. The weather was terrible with it being very cold but that didn’t stop us from hashing today. JUST I LEAN and I set a trail that ran through the UIC campus. PRICK of the LITTER was the FRB and he found trail cutting through the UIC football field. Eventual the pack made their way up the stairs to a local parking garage and we had our beer stop.

We made our way back to the bar where STUPID MAN was still eating and watching the bear game. FULL TERM agreed that the weather was frightful out today. WE did welcome JUST ALLISON to the hash with JUST NICK. She was very disappointed that she did not make the ANTHRAX hash the previous weekend but she did get an earful of songs from us today. Next weekend should be an eventful hash with JUST JONATHON and JUST I LEAN our hares.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1524

Chicago Hash #1524 @ Morgan’s: Pre-Christmas / Chicken Stiffer Birthday Hash

Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Morgan’s Bar & Grille – 1325 S. Halsted St.
Chicago, IL 60607, 312-243-4800
Hash Cash: $6

Somebody please take some pix of this event as the Fujirazzi will be running with the Philly Hash over Christmas weekend.

View Larger Map

The Chicago Hash will leave the greatly overhashed Lincoln Park area on Sunday and head (who said head?) South to the UIC are Morgan’s Bar and Grill on Maxwell Street.

Come out and celebrate our GM Chicken Stiffer’s Golden Anniversary of his 21st Birthday and the fact there are now coal seams in Western China younger than he is. Actual birthday is earlier in the weekend so there may be Friday night pre-lube festivities also. Since his birthday is right next to Christmas, he’s been getting “combined” birthday & Christmas presents for years and is very bitter about it. Come out and see a long, bitter trail set by a very bitter hare!

Neighborhood: Little Italy/University Village

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to North/Clyborn, Halsted 8 bus South to Maxwell St.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Grand/Halsted Milwaukee, Halsted 8 Bus South to Maxwell St.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & Maxwell. Parking is not bad a block or so off of Halsted either direction. Obviously away from UIC (South, East) is better.

CH3 #1523

Chicago Hash #1523 – Post Anthrax Hannukah Hangover Hash @ Hidden Shamrock

Hare(s): Fluffer from Sin City
Venue: Paddy Long’s – 1028 W. Diversey (just West of Diversey & Sheffield and the now-closed Diversey Brown Line Stop)
Hash Cash: $6

Includes short trail, beers, and NFL Football!!! Bears get their butts kicked Monday night so lots of other games to watch on the Telly.

A-B-C Trail. Fluffer from Sin City has graciously volunteered to lay trail for us so we’re continuing the CH3 tradition of bringing hashing to trendy/upscale Lincoln Park/Lakeview bars and this week we check out Paddy Long’s (the old Lawry’s Tavern).

NOTE 11am START time so visitors can catch their trains, Megabuses, etc or get a jump on weekend traffic.

Okay so actual Hannukah ended on 12/12 but the theme gives us such great alliteration!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it four blocks North to Diversey and head West on Diversey 1/2 block. Or just walk a few blocks from home.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus East to Sheffield, schlep four blocks South to Diversey, 1/2 block West to bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Find parking by meters or side streets. It’s Sunday so you don’t have to feed most of the meters around there but check to be sure.