Hash Trash: 1/27/08
Hares: Calvin Klein & Just Rob
Venue: Joes on Weed
VIRGINS: Just Rob, Just Stepanie, Just Taraneh
HASHER- Just Rob, Just I LEAN, R-Tard-E, Super Stuffer, Chicken Stiffer, Dykey Old Hooker, Batteries not included, Mouthful of Meat, Mount Me Please, Just Balz, Horn-e, Frosted Discharge, Just Saud, Chip-n-dale, Its Too Soft, PackHer Ass, Mount Schwiiinga, KGB, Just Tyrone, Virgin Banger, Peterbilt, Just Jenn, Just Luke
TOTAL HASHERS= 28
The Birthday hash commenced on a fine spring day of 45-degrees? CALVIN KLEIN and JUST ROB explained the marks to our new virgins JUST STEPANIE, JUST TARANEH, and JUST ROB. The pack was in for a longer hash then usually even though CALVIN was hung over from the shots VIRGIN BANGER bought for him the night before. We welcomed back DYKEY OLD HOOKER from Florida and I hear that she is making Chicago a more permanent home, which is excellent news for the Chicago Hash. The chalk talk was over and the hash was off. JUST I LEAN and I went left on Kingsbury but the trail went right and I believe SUPER STUFFER was on. The trail wound around Old Navy and crossed North Avenue. JUST TYRONE stepped out into traffic playing the traffic cop for us and holding back the traffic.
R-TARD-E kept the virgins company at the end of the trail while the middle of the pack-running north Down Kingsbury was made of MOUTHFUL OF MEAT and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED. JUST ROB II found trail going west on Armitage and the pack was soon across the river. The pack got to a check and I went left and CHIP-N-DALE followed me, why I do not know because I was not on because true trail cut right. BALZ was near the front of the pack at this time as well. The trail soon passed an accident at Armitage and Ashland so MOUNT ME PUH’LZEE felt compelled to play traffic cop and hand out tickets to the offender. CHIP-N-DALE and I were off after a check with JUST ROB in tow. JUST ROB and I found a check on Milwaukee Ave. He went west and I took off south down Milwaukee Ave. I found the marks near division and was off on trail. The trail crossed back over the river at Division and we were back to the bar.
Calvin soon had the circle going and had to punish himself and JUST ROB for a shitty trail. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an RA punish themselves before. JUST ROB II was called in for the whitest legs at the hash but JUST TYRONE thought he had ROB beat. JUST SAUD, MOUNT ME, FROSTED DISCHARGE and KGB were our reboots and we do miss our missing in action hashers.
PETERBILT brought his roasted nuts and sat down for a cold one. PACKHER ASS got a chivalry down down for saving the GM’s faux pas for wearing his shirt inside out. ITS TOO SOFT drank all the beer as usual and shot a wad of film. SUPER STUFFER feigned sickness and had his woman drink his down-down for him. What a whimp! JUST BALZ decided to drink a full pitcher down-down; maybe we will call him “no suck all swallow”. MOUNT SCHWIINGA was unusually quiet today but our haberdashery artist was there along with our t-shirt God VIRGIN BANGER. Eventually CALVIN closed the circle and people went on their way.
A few hashers stayed behind like JUST JENN to talk and drink. We got to talking about the song “Jenny I’ve got your number”, and she informed us that she sometimes gave out the number 867-5309 as her own to unwanted guys at bars. The GM picked up on this along with the RA and HARERAZRS so we have now named JUST JENNY, 867-5309. See you next week and check out the hash counts on line for 2007.