Category: Chicken Stiffer

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail

Chicago Hash #1580
Jan. 4, 2009 @ Gyros Greek Town
HARES: Erin Go Buff, Glory Hole
VIRGINS: Just Kora, Just Andrea

VISITORS:

HASHERS: Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Lifa, Calvin Klein, It’s Too Soft. R-Tard-E, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, Snatchsquatch, Just Andy, Asscapade, Horn-e, Poultry F*****, Milk My Yak, Mouthful of Meat, Wrapper Snatcher, Porcelain God, Crop Duster, Just Jana. Cumma Slutra, Just Becky

TOTAL HASHERS – 25

ERIN GO BUFF laid this trail live and live it was we gave him a 10-minute lead and it was more than enough to keep the pack off his ass. 25 HOUNDS took to the streets and sniffed out this festering plight of a trail. Trail took off through the UIC campus. CROP DUSTER and I put our bags in the car and quickly caught up to the old man of the hash HORN-E who was already across the highway. JUS I LEAN, LIFA and I found trail that went southwest through the campus and had a check on Taylor Street corner. Trail went west here and our walkers CUMS ON I LEAN, MILK MY YAK, and others plodded along. We were lead at this point by CALVIN KLEIN and POULTRY F***** who found trail running almost directly behind the house of ROTTEN and ODOR. ERIN kept laying trail west and west we went, until we got to the corner of Ashland by Rush. ASSCAPADE went south and someone blew their whistle hear bring the whole pack south on a false trail. True trail was eventually found by HORN-E going under the hospital and over the highway via Paulina. After he was sure he was on trail he just raised his horn into the air to call he was on? I don’t know why most people blow their whistles or horns to alert people maybe he was just winded and had no strength to blow. At this point the pack really split LIFA, CALVIN and I worked together finding trail running just east of the United Center and then it worked its way back east eventually running thru the police station parking lot until it got to the condo of GLORY HOLE where Hamms beer greeted us in the fridge and horn-e again mistakenly grabbed soy sauce as beer. ERIN GO BUFF had been waiting for us for over ½ hour and then we had to wait about 15 minutes for the pack to find the beer stop. Overall not a bad trail in a new land.

Eventually we made it back to the bar where CALVIN led the circle. Our FRB was LIFA with DFL being R-TARD. We said good-bye to CUMS ON I LEAN and JUST I LEAN who will be leaving this week for Spain. JUST I LEAN was the top hasher in CHICAGO this year with 50 hashes and over 10 times hashing. JUST KORA and JUST ANDREA sand us one of their rugby songs and it was god and there was much rejoicing. We had much fun today and hope to see you on SUNDAY at MURPHY BLEACHER BAR after all of the snow is down falling!!!

Jan. 8, 2009 DRINKING PRACTICE @ Lions Head Pub

WOODY WOOD WACKER, Chicken Stiffer, Erin Go Buff, Mouthful of Meat, Just Pinto, Asscapade, Glory Hole, R-Tard-E, Snatchsquatch, Just Jana and Calvin Klein

11 hashers present and accounted for!!!

Well the hash showed up nicely to say hi and thanks to WOODY WOOD WACKER our resident hasher still in the army. He is based down in Alabama and had some good stories about STUPIDMAN who he ran into at a Pensacola Green Dress run. Snatchsquatch, Asscapade, and R-Tard-E drank in the $2 bottles of beer and ate their fill of wings and tacos that are free for people on Wednesday night. Woody was extremely happy to see his old friends and make some new ones thanks for the great turnout of 11 people on an announced drinking practice with less than 6 hours notice. It truly shows we are a drinking club with running problems.

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

Dec. 21, 2008 @ Hidden Shamrock

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1577

HARES: Dead Lay San Antonio Hash
VIRGINS: Just
VISITORS: Coin Operated, All The Way In WH3, Hot Lips Grand Rapids, Just Brenda, Just Scott Indyscent, 2 Fuck Canuck Big-Hump
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Batteries Not Included, Poultry F*cker, It’s Too Soft, Magnetic Muff, Crop Duster, Mouthful of Meat, Super Stufher, Calvin Klein, Asscapade,

TOTAL HASHERS 18

Our Hare today was DEAD LAY she asked to lay trail for us at the Pre-Lube, she used to live in Chicago near the Old Beaumont Bar so was familiar with the area. We gave her a five-minute head start and she was off. Today was a little cool out and she took the trail east towards the Lake. ALL THE WAY IN was FRB at this point until we crossed Broadway then JUST SCOTT took over scouting duties from him. Trail cut by the Elk lodge at the Six way corner of Diversey and Lake Shore drive. Here DEAD LAY was trying to be funny with her checks because ITS TOO SOFT found trail leading to Diversey Harbor where she laid a turkey-eagle split the Eagle split had us jumping from ice flow to ice flow in the harbor very funny. Trail swung back west using the back roads through Lincoln Park and 2 FUCK CANNUCK found trail cutting back behind the Fire station leading towards the usual beer stop point of ITS TOO SOFT. CHICKEN was tired from the night before so I let COIN OPERATED take the lead into the beer stop at the house of FUJI. We still had plenty of beer left in that Keg from the ANTHRAX HASH the day before!!! We drank plenty here with CALVIN and BATTERIES meeting us at the beer stop. CROP DUSTER looked hilarious with his ski goggles on while following trail. Thank God he already has a name otherwise we would have had some ammunition for a naming. We sat at ITS TOO SOFTs place drinking beer and talking about the fun times we all had the night before and then we ran back to the bar where there were two fireplaces to warm our cold butts. POULTRY almost singed her butt trying to warm it in the fire. We commenced circle and MOUTHFUUL OF MEAT showed up with SUPER STUFHER making his way over after putting a day’s work at Soldiers Field. We had another typical CALVIN circle and saw our visitors off in style. Many thanks go to JUST KATHY at the bar for the $6 pitchers and use of the back room. Many thanks also goes to DEAD LAY from SAN ANTONIO for laying a nice live 3-mile trail on such a cold day!!! See you next week at Brudders and stay tune for the ANTHRAX HASH TRASH.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Dec. 14, 2008 @ O’Lanagans

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1576

HARES: Ginger Snatch, Cumma Slutra, Just Amy
VIRGINS: Just Jana
VISITORS: Scam
HASHERS: Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Bloody Thighs, Lifa, Just Shaina, Hoosier Daddy, Bang Me Blow Me, Calvin Klein, Bloody Asshole, KGB, Erin GO Buff, Assfault, It’s Too Soft. R-Tard-E, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, Super Stufher, Snatchsquatch, Just Andy, Asscapade,

TOTAL HASHERS � 25

This hash used the old hash bar of O’Lanagans today. Our hares set a decent trail, one that took us by the house of the Governor. I don’t know why there were so many TV cameras around there did something significant happen with him the past couple of days? GINGER SNATCH, CUMMA SLUTRA, and JUST AMY were the beautiful ones who set the trail today in the 50-degree weather, and I thought the Avg. temp. for Chicago in December was 26-degrees. 25 hashers braved this unseasonably warm weather to run in the Lincoln Square neighborhood. Some like JUST SHAINA were so uncomfortable with the temp. that they had to strip off some of their clothes. The chalk talk was given and LIFA and BLOODY ASSHOLE (DRY ERASE BOARD) were off as the FRB’s our visitor SCAM was in close contact. CALVIN and I crossed the park across the street and found trail on the north side of the park. We cut back south and were soon stymied by a Check on Lincoln and Montrose. LIFA I believe screwed this one up but the pack like lemmings followed his mistake. We got to sit on the corner for a while and talk with ASSFAULT who has not been to the CH3 for some time and KGB caught up to the pack after arriving late. The Trail ran west now across the four-lane highway named WESTERN. The pack with BANG ME, BLOW ME hit the Chicago River and ran along its muddy bank until Montrose where we crossed over and made our way to the HOUSE OF ROD. SUPER STUFHER, JUST I LEAN, and I were the leaders at this time and found the beer stop at the House of GINGER SNATCH. CALVIN was the DFL because he stopped to fish in the Chicago River for a few minutes in this balmy weather. I think he caught a Sucker Fish? We had our beers and made our way back to the bar.
Back at the bar the Pumpkin five some of LIFA, SNATHCSQUATCH, HOOSIER DADDY, ASSCAPADES, and I got down-downs for our collective color unison. Calvin would have been included but he changed before circle. CALVIN our RA kept the circle flowing and the beers were poured by Rebecca our bar keep for the day. CUMS ON I LEAN arrived late and was promptly escorted into the circle for her down-down. BLOODY THIGHS and will be happy to see the end of the week when we would be done with our teaching duties and the ANHTHRAX would begin. JUST JANA friend of SNATCHSQUATCH made her first foray into the hashing world today and she even likes beer, which is a plus for a hasher. The hash sang her a nice song and welcomed our new virgin hopefully we will see her next week at the ANTHRAX HASH. The CALVIN circle slowly came to a close but not before one for one of the Denizens of the bar came for a down-down and in his slurred speech he said something that R-TARD-E translated because this man also spoke R-Tardese. SEE YOU ALL AT THE PARTY THAT STARTS FRIDAY!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1574 – Nov. 30, 2008 @ MITCHELL’S (THE OLD PUFFER’s)
HARES: Bloody Thighs, Lifa, Mudsucker
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: Cums in Taxi’s, Just Greg, Abu Beaver
HASHERS: Happy Ass Grabber, Ez on the Ass, Chicken Stiffer, R-Tard-E, Just I Lean, Milk-My-Yak, Public Pisser, Erin Go Buff, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e
Total- 16
It was a cold Sunday on a Holiday weekend on the South side that saw the hash running thru some historical sites. Today we ran thru the old Union Stockyard Entrance and along Bubbling Creek. We also passed the Church our very own Mayor Daley attends and then finally ended up at the house of MUDSUCKER for a beer stop. The Pack saw some die-hards come out today on a rainy cold trail. ERIN GO BUFF showed up in the nick of time just before the pack was on out. The Main pack today was HAPPY, EZ, CHICKEN, P-P, ERIN GO BUFF, JUST GREG, and ABU BEAVER. We seemed to work well and find the correct trail. ERIN GO BUFF and I even find a quick short cut over a fence while the rest of the pack did a circle jerk that ended up on 35th street. R-TARD-E and JUST I LEAN were walking and running today so they were a little behind. JUST GREG tried whistling for HORN-E but he said he just climbing a tree to try a get to a short cut? The pack ran many straight a-ways today but we finally did make it back to the bar where MILK-MY-YAK and SNATCHSQUATCH were waiting for us to return. MUDSUCKER set-up free hotdogs for us and $6 pitchers, which was not a bad combo for the day. We had a quick circle and then many ran back home to watch a dismal Bears game.
–
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM
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HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1573 – Nov. 23, 2008 @ Just Shaina’s

HARES: Just Shaina, Poultry Fucker, Ginger Snatch, Chicken Stiffer
VIRGINS: Just Erica, Just Camillo
VISITORS: Cums in Taxi’s
HASHERS: Snatchsquatch, Virtually Hung, Lochness Cockster, Crop Duster, Two Tickets too a Pair Thighs, Are They Real, Cumma Slutra, Just I Lean, R-Tard-E, More Tail, Super Stuffher, Mouthful of Meat, Cums on I Lean, It’s Too Soft, Happy Ass Grabber & Turbo Dog, One-Handed Typist, Just Andy, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mudsucker
TOTAL HASHERS – 28

This trail was set by POULTRY F*CKER and GINGER SNATCH and ran through the Avondale neighborhood with CROP DUSTER ending up being the FRB into the beer stop with VIRTUALLY HUNG and LOCHNESS COCKSTER close behind. JUST SHAINA was at home cooking the 25 lbs turkey and many were happy later to learn that she was. The pack was happy to see a keg back at the on-in and actually did finish the 15.5 gallons by 7 pm that night. MORE TAIL’s garlic potatoes went over along with ARE THEY REAL desert. JUST I LEAN and SUPER STUFFHER performed the caving duties today and CALVIN ran the circle. Circle ran for about 45 minutes and then we devoured the Turkey dinner set in front of us. Much thanks goes out to JUST SHANIA for the use of her place and a lovely place it is. Hope people had a Happy THANKSGIVING I know I did.

—
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

Nov. 16, 2008 @ Mad River Tavern
HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1572

HARES: Crop Duster & R-Tard-E
VIRGINS: Just Randy, Just Jessica, Just Sarah
VISITORS: Mookie (Stockholm Hash)
HASHERS: Just Taylor, Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Erin Go Buff, Horn-e, Hot Pants, Friend of Hot Pants, Smell This, Glory Hole, Stupid Man, One Handed Typist, Just Adam, Stab’em and Slab’em, Its Too Soft, Cumma Slutra, Super Stuffher, Milk My Yak, Barks on All Fours, Good Swallow, Virgin Banger, Mudsucker, Cunt and Pasties, Peterbilt, Calvin Klein, Batteries Not Included, Happy Ass Grabber

TOTAL HASHERS – 32

R-TARD-E and CROP DUSTER set trail from the Mad River bar and R-TARD-E redeemed himself by setting a trail that ran NW of the bar and used ever alley and gangway he could find on the NW of the Lakeview area. The Trail saw 32 hashers show up at the bar but only 13 people ran. That is what happens when Green Bay plays the Bears and the weather gets a little cold outside some would rather watch the game or stay warm oh darn.

The runners took off and I sent the walkers to ITS TOO SOFTS Place for the beer stop and I heard MILK MY YAK, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, GOOD SWALLOW, STUPIDMAN and others had a great time starting a fire but no beer was there because the hares decided to change the beer stop to another location. So NO BEER FOR YOU!!! I caught up to the pack just as it started running thru its first gangway and ERIN GO BUFF had the lead. ITS TOO SOFT and SNATCHSQUATCH were bringing up the rear must of the day and the trail wound its way thru the Lakeview neighborhood. R-TARD even managed to find a six-inch crack between two buildings to set the trail thru. I’m glad the trail was set before Thanksgiving otherwise I would have been too fat to fit my chicken legs thru the opening.

The next part of the trail saw numerous splits into condo courtyards that were false trails but eventually GLORY HOLE found the right hole to dart thru and we were racing for a beer check in the alley but some misguided resident thought he had some street person living behind his garage and decided to throw the beer away. YES I SAID HE THREW THE BEER AWAY. His address was 1356 W. Diversey if you wish to send him a letter. MOOKIE was FRB at this point and jumped over a Shell Stations fence and was back on trail that looked like it was approaching Wrigley Field but it quickly turned back south towards Belmont. JUST ADAM found trail and eventually it lead to a beer stop where CROP DUSTER only just knocked on the door of MARY ANNE and GINGER and they graciously allowed us to use their porch for a beer stop.

The sign said “Parties not allowed and tenants only!” but that does not stop the CH3. We took a few pictures with that sign and waited for the pack to show up. CUMMMA SLUTRA turned out to be the DFL and FBI. It was cold outside so we ran back to the bar and saw our beloved Bears being killed 37-3 and most of the wankers were still at Vaughn’s Pub.

We quickly changed venue and rolled over to Mad River where we had $6 pitchers of beer. SMELL THIS, USDA GRADE ROTTEN WHORE, and ODOR EATER snagged two virgins JUST SARAH and JUST JESSICA to roll with us; many of the male hashers did not disapprove of this turn of events. SNATCHSQUATCH and I got the circle going and we got thru the FRB, DFL, announcements and then CALVIN AND BATTERIES walked in so CALVIN took over his RA roll with SNATCHSQUATCH as his sidekick.

ONE HANDED TYPIST was here even though the weather was below 35-degrees outside; I guess we can’t put him up for the warm weather wanker award this year. JUST RANDY was welcomed to the hash and we hope to coax him out of Lombard once in a while to hash with us. Eventually the hash were the only folks left in the bar after the Eagles fans left dejected from a football tie with the Sin City Bengals, but for some reason ITS TOO SOFT stayed. I don’t know how but the circle eventually closed after numerous accusations, puke, ear licking, and pitchers of beer!!!

NEXT WEEK HASH is the CH3 THANKSGIVING DAY HASH

VENUE: JUST SHAINA’s house.

FOOD and BEER will be provided!!!

HARES: JUST SHAINA, GINGER SNATCH, and POULTRY F*CKER

Chicago hash Tale of the Trail 11.2.08 and Tuesday Election Party

Nov. 2, 2008 Bar Atlantic
HARES: I Like Dick, R-Tard-E
VIRGINS: Just Jennifer, Just Damon, Just Hooper
VISITORS: Rub My Disc
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Erin Go Bra, Calvin Klein, Mouthful of Meat, It’s Too Soft, Horn-e, Up Loader, Soggy Deposit, Are they Real, Cumma Slutra, Stupid Man, Stab’em and Slab’em, Hoosier Daddy, Crop Duster, Snatchsquatch, Just Kat, W’All Bang’her, Just Ira, More Tail, KGB, Just Taylor, Mudsucker, Dry Erase Board
TOTAL HASHERS – 29 yes there were 29 hashers on such a nice day!!!!!

Today the hash started early with some of us getting together to watch the Bears play and eventually win against the Lions. Stupidman, Calvin Klein, and I watched the Bears pull of the fantastic finish. 29 hashers eventually hashed today with I Like Dick playing the part of interpreter for R-Tard-E who spoke R-Tard-ese. The circle was a little different today with I like Dick bouncing around the circle asking for names but it seemed to work. The pack was off and Stupidman, Calvin Klein, and I went back inside to watch the game. After the game we walked to the beer stop and ran into Mouthful of Meat, Just Taylor, Dry Erase Board, and Erin Go Bra coming back to the bar. Mouthful of Meat perturbed because she missed the beer stop so we took them back to the parking garage and found the pack drinking on the roof. Just Jennifer and Just Damon said they had a good time and will be back in the future and Up Loader gets the award this year for bringing many virgins to the hash. His virgin Just Hooper also had a good time and he was seen later talking with a 2nd time running Just Kat in circle hopefully we will see them many times in the future months.

——

HASH TRASH
CHICAGO TALE OF THE TRAIL 10/26/08

Oct. 26, 2008 Pumping Company

HARES: Virtually Hung, Bloody thighs

VIRGINS: Just Kat

VISITORS: Cervix so laid, Barking Sphincter from Mars (Silicon Valley)

HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Ez Sunday, Just Ira, W’All Bangher, Rhotan, Super Stuff’her, Menage a Twat, R-Tard-E, Horn-e, Soar Balls, Wrapper Snatcher, Porcelain God, Just I Lean, Mudsucker, Good Swallow, Sir Poops A Lot, Stupid Man, Stab’em and Slab’em, Virgin Banger, Buffalo Nuts, Rearguard, Crop Duster, Mouthful of Meat, More Tail, Rotten Whore, Motorwhora, Hoosier Daddy, Glory Hole, Cums on I Lean, Special Head, Bush Lite, Mount Schwiiiinga, Snatchsquatch, It’s Too Soft, Poultry F*cker, Chicken Stiffer, Cumma Slutra, Just Allen, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Dickens Cider, KGB, Magnetic Muff, The Enema Canal, Princess Labia, 69-cent Man, 2 tickets to pair-a-thighs, The Great Lochness Cockster, International Virgin, Kunta Kinta

TOTAL HASHERS- 54

The Hash stars were in alignment and the CH3 joined with 2nd city this past weekend for the annual Halloween Hash and celebrate CHICAGO HASHES 1569 hash!!!! The Hash saw roughly 55 hashers come out and run around the Rogers Park neighborhood. Many memorable costumes were worn. Our Hares Virtually Hung and Bloody Thighs were Elvis and a witch respectively and other memorable people were Glory Hole as Quimby the Mayor from the Simpson’s or Mouthful of Meat looking like a ladybug. Horn-e and Rhotan stood together and came as Jack Lemon and Walter Matheiu from the movie “Grumpy Old Men”. Just Ira was cute in her German beer wench outfit maybe we will name him this week before she leaves for Germany. It’s too Soft made his usually political statement and came as a government bailout plan can you get George to send us some money for beer?? Cums on I Lean and Just I Lean reversed their roles and allowed Cums on I Lean to wear the pants in the family for one hash. We got everyone together outside and our obliging hares ran the circle giving mis-directions for our lovely pack to follow. I had to put my bag in the shag wagon so when I got back the pack was gone but Mount Schwiiiinga I heard was one of our FBI’s today. Ménage a Twat and 2 Tickets to Pair Thighs were pirates out scouring the trail for a little booty on trail hopeful The Great Lochness Cockster obliged them later on in the night. KGB, Crop Duster, and Just I Lean seemed to be FRB’s most of the day but Crop Duster was laying his own trail with a mysterious white powder trailing from his behind. Eventually we made our way to the on in which was the house/condo of KGB? Hashers sucked down beer and ate the sweets left out by our hares. The pack put a big stink into that place and like usually hashers we left soon after that.

We got back to the bar and were thankful for the $5 pitchers of beer that we drank. Calvin Klein and The Enema Canal got the circle going and the bar even opened the downstairs bars so pitchers could be refilled quickly. International Virgin was asked to flap for us and soon More Tail and Rotten Whore showed up in from trail, but did Rotten really run the trail in High Heels? Poultry Fucker was the birthday girl today which why we left early today. We had some visitors from Silicon Valley Cervix so Laid and Barking Sphincter Monkey. Princess Labia kept yelling buy breast fest gear but couldn’t be heard over the yelling from Dickens Cider. R-Tard-E rode the short bus to the hash today and forgot his costume, and Virgin Banger wrote him a ticket for lack of hash spirit. There were many more people in attendance but I had to leave for someone’s Birthday dinner see you this SUNDAY at NOON for the BEARS game 1 pm’ish for the Mismanagement Meeting and 2 pm for the hash

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash – Oct. 12, 2008
Chicago #1568 @ Stocks and Blondes

HARES: Mudsucker, Magnetic Muff, Glory Hole
VIRGINS: Just Taylor, Just Tina, Just Sadie
VISITORS: Balut & GDWB (Houston), Erin Go Buff ( Honolulu) Halley’s Comet (Bell Scott), Designated Driver (Lansing), Belching Semen (Whitehouse hash)
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Hoosier Daddy, Ginger Snatch, Horn-e, Super Stuf’her Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, R-Tard-E, Santchsquatch, Uploader, Just Shaina, Just Nicole, Just Joel, Just Alexis, Virtually Hung, Princess Labia, The Enema Canal, Discharged Seamen, Ez on the Ass, Cumma Slutra, Crop Duster, It’s Too Soft, Wrapper Snatcher, The Porcelain God,

TOTAL HASHERS – 37

Today 37 hashers came out to the Sunday fun and some started even earlier that usually. The Hash activities started today with a few hashers making their way to 33rd and the Dan Ryan to cheer marathoners and hand out water and beer today. The first wave of runners really went for that water but the second wave were surprised and pleased to have that beer. The hash cleaned up around 1 pm and made their way via the Red line to the downtown starting point for the hash. Stocks and Blondes informed us that the keg would not work because the CO2 was out. I got them to give us 165 bottles of beer for the same price the $160 we were to pay for the keg and all was good.

Our hares today GLORY HOLE, MAGNETIC MUFF, and MUDSUCKER laid a trail with a turkey and eagle portion to it so our marathon runners could attend and other hashers could get a run in. JUST TAYLOR just in from Orlando joined us to day after being in Chicago for no more that 4 days. WE also met virgins JUST SADIE and JUST TINA in the bar celebrating JUST TINA’s marathon finish. JUST SHAINA and I decided to watch peoples bags and the Bears game that they lost along with WRAPPER SNATCHER and eventual CROP DUSTER. I am glad I decided not to run because I meet BALUT and GDWB in from the Houston Hash for a couple of days but the could not stay for circle. BALUT has an interesting name look it up on line here
http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Balut

The pack was off and the small crew inside the bar was joined by EZ on the ASS and CUMMA SLUTRA and we all waited for the rest of the pack to make their way around trail and join us. The FRB’s were SNATCHSQUATCH and SUPER STUF’HER soon followed by CUMS on I LEAN and JUST I LEAN with his side kick R-TARD-E. BELCHING SEMEN announced her presence in a typical loud style which was echoed by ERIN GO BUFF in from Honolulu. I heard that HALLEY’s COMET and JUST NICOLE loved the smell of the Chicago alleys they ran thru and even saw a rat or 2 along the way.

Today also saw the return of JUST ALEXIS our peeing queen who has been out the last several weeks because she hurt her knees somehow? THE ENEMA CANAL played the part of the RA and his side kick PRINCESS LABIA was faithfully at his side. UPLOADER was his usually loud self screaming obscenities and mooning the whole circle at least 20 times or was that the homeless guy outside the window? Over all we had a great time and will see you next week.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash
Chicago #1567
Oct. 5, 2008 House of Batteries

HARES: Calvin Klein and Batteries not Included
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: Film @ 11-Baltimore, Neon- Panama Hash,
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Hoosier Daddy, Lifa, Ginger Snatch, Bloody Thighs, Mudsucker, I Like Dick, Just Tina, Sir Poops A lot, Horn-e, Mouthful of Meat, Super Stuf’her, KGB, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, R-Tard-E

TOTAL HASHERS= 21

Great hash today, I’m sure if the rain hadn’t scared a few people away we would have had our usually 30 hashers out on a Sunday trail. The Pack met at the bar and NEON was our first arriver. She looked anxious because she was hanging out at the door just waiting to run. The bar even made her play taps before she left for circle for the dead in the water Detroit Lions that the BEARS were killing today. CALVIN left 10 minutes before the pack did so he could set live trail with flour and BATTERIES conducted the chalk talk. All were set but we needed to introduce our hashers and give the visitors FILM @ 11 and NEON directions on how to follow our CH3 trail. LIFA led the pack out along with SIR POOPS A LOT and the rain started to subside and was replaced with the sun??? Trail went SE towards the Clark and Division red line stop with the pack following HORN-E and his blown horn. FILM @ 11 was seen stripping near this corner for $$$?? but it turned out she was only warm from the run. W’ALL BANGER bit the dust on this trail trying to accelerate around a corner she hit the wall in turn 3 and blew a wheel. KGB found the trail was now running east towards the lake and everyone was expecting a little hashing on the lakefront.

Our hares were a little too smart for that and circled back west away from the lake catching most of the pack looking east except for the CHICKEN STIFFER who ran into blobs of flour I went west on this unknown trail and HORN-E went east unfortunately he was not on and the trail continued in a NW direction until it ran behind the CHICAGO HISTORICAL SOCIETY. I even had time to run back and mark the last two checks and splits so the pack led by GINGER SNATCH could catch up. R-TARD-E played the part of HOT PANTS today running trail in his gym shoes and jeans. The trail here ran through the Lincoln Park area that has a statue of Ulysses S. Grant in it while Grant Park has a statue of Abraham Lincoln in it, odd huh? Trail continued north and then ran thru the zoo and our visit! ors were amazed that the zoo was free, that is the beauty of the Lincoln Park Zoo. Finally the trail came out of the zoo and BN was seen at last with the beer stop in the arboretum just north of the zoo. JUST I LEAN met us there with the hare CALVIN KLEIN!!! Soon hasher like BLOODY THIGHS and KGB were joining the FRB’s in downing a few beers before we ran over to the house of BATTERIES for circle and Yucca.

The house of BATTERIES found us with I LIKE DICK and JUST TINA waiting for us and soon we were joined with SUPER STUF’HER and MUDSUCKER as well. CALVIN ran the circle with the FRB being CHICKEN and DFL was W’ALL BANGER with the bum wheel trailing behind her. Our visitors were brought out and FILM @ 11 got her name for having sex on a fire engine that made the 11 o’clock news in Baltimore. NEON will only be here until Friday so come out and say goodbye to her on Thursday. I LIKE DICK had to drink every other down-down for refusing to run a CALVIN trail that only went about four-miles CALVIN kept the circle going and BATTERIES was cooking the pizzas, the YUCCA was started by LIFA and soon the whole circle was drinking YUCCA, but can anyone explain why in YUCCA the limes sank and the oranges and lemons floated??? BIG HASH MYSTERY that needs to be solved!!! Maybe more YUCCA at ANTHRAX HASH DEC. 20, 2008. The YUCCA was cared for and burped by CUMS on I LEAN today she treated the Yucca like a newborn with care and love as she cradled it to her bosom. CALVIN had a few more accusations and MOUTHFUL of MEAT was caught for auto hashing and LIFA and HOOSIER DADDY sang a train riding song because they took Metra to the hash. SEE you all next week at the MARATHON hash DOWNTOWN!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM