Run to Remember 2007

WE NEED YOU!!!!

Who: Calling All Hashers!

What: Run to Remember 5K – Beverage Station

When: Saturday, May 5th, 2007. Report at 6:00 a.m. (okay, I’ll accept hash time from some of you …..), but the Race starts at 8:00 a.m., and it’s only a 5K. The first runners will reach us about 7 1/2 or 8 minutes after the gun. So we have to be ready, and have enough liquid refreshment poured for up to 2,500 participants.

Where: First, go to Gold Star Families Memorial & Park, immediately east of Soldier Field. Parking will be free at the Soldier Field Waldron Deck (i.e. the parking structure just south of Soldier Field). Report to the Volunteer Check-in Tent. Get checked in, and get your volunteer t-shirt (a keepsake you will treasure for years to come….) Stash your volunteer t-shirt somewhere, and put on your hash shirts.

From there you will go to Monroe Harbor, at (duh) Monroe Street). We will set up just south of the Yacht Club. where the runners will pass us heading south on the concrete path along the water.

Why: Because the Cops love us (for some reason….).

Start your Cinco de Mayo off right – with Cervesa! We need a few able-bodied men and women to help the hashers who have already signed up Since I can’t find any, I’m asking for more hashers….. We will pour Smart Water and ….. “smarter water”….. to serve the runners and protect them from de-hydration. Yes, that’s our job – “to serve and protect”….

This is a great opportunity to promote the Hash to the men and women in blue, and let them know that “we aren’t all that bad, either”… (Thanks, Mount Me….)

Really, the cops love us and really want us there. They consider us part of the event…..

Let me know that you will join us at:
[email protected], or
[email protected], or
[email protected], or
[email protected], or
(708) 386-4660, or
(917) 318-4945, or
carrier pigeon, or
a note tied to a rock thrown through the window, or
banner tied to the back of a bi-plane, or
any other creative ideas that you may have.

Thank you, and On-on,

Ballsalotapus

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1487

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1487 Opening Day @ Party Central Skydeck
The Chicago Hash, Hidden Shamrock, 4/22/2007 by Chicken Stiffer

Hare: It’s Too Soft and Cheap Date
Venue: Party Central
HASHERS:
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, MOUNT-ME PUHLZEE, HORN-E, CUM IN MY ASSFAULT, CHICKEN STIFFER, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, VIRTUALLY HUNG, SPOTTED COCK, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, CHEAP DATE, OR G, JUST MARY, JUST CHRISTINA, SQUEEZE THESE, SPECKIE, SPAWN OF SPECKIE, JUST DO ME SLOWLY, SMELL THIS, B.O.B, MAGNETIC MUFF, CHIP-N-DALE, DAVEY CROCHET, LEX LUTHER, JUST JULIA, JUST NANCY, ORGAN GRINDER, CUMS DRIPPING WET, MOUNT SCHWINGA, MUDSUCKER, CUNT AND PASTIES, PETERBILT, JUST DAVE, BONER MALFUNCTION, JUST AMY, JUST KELLIE, STAB’EM AND SLAB’EM, JUST JENNIFER, C.P., CUT THE CHEESE LOG, AND HOOKED ON TONICS.

The GM showed up at the Beer stop with the New CH3 Haberdashery and was immediately accosted by the ladies of the hash because we have new ladies t-shirts. I was amazed to see that we had about 40 hashers show up for this hash. I guess if you bill it they will cum? The beer stop ended and I was grabbed by ITS TOO SOFT to get the keg with MOUTHFUL OF MEAT. The only problem was his usual liquor store was closed and he missed the turn for it in his car. In fact you can call this hash ITS TOO SOFT is to slow day because he put his cold beer flag up upside down. His trail had marks pointing at each other. I think the next time he sets trail the hash will have to appoint someone to sit on him the night before so he doesn’t get too wasted to set trail the next day.

Playing the role of RA I found out that this trail must have really been something to laugh about. I even saw those small marks the next day on the way to a Cubs game. We had three virgins join us in the circle JUST DAVE, JUST KELLY, and JUST AMY. We were happy to see new faces on such a nice day. W e had some visitors in from Atlanta LEX LUTHOR, DAVEY CROCHET, and JUST CHRISTINA? They sang us a nice load rendition of hash tones, which never over came the noise of the Brown line next to us. JUST MARY has become a regular and she was brought in the circle for being so beautiful in her new HASH T-SHIRT. BATTERIES AND HORN-E got down downs for bringing virgins?? What’s wrong with that? The Hares drank numerous times which maybe why ITS TOO SOFT did hang his flag upside down. VIRTUALLY HUNG and SMELL THIS sang us the MONKEY POX song, which we had not heard in a while. The circle lasted for about 40 minutes and then the Food took about 2 hours to cook.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1487

Sunday 4/22/2007 Meet @ 2pm, Out @ 2:30pm
Chicago HHH #1487 Spring In Chicago Hash
Hare(s): It’s Too Soft & Mystery Hare or Hares?
Venue: Hidden Shamrock – 2723 N Halsted

There will be 2 new styles of CHICAGO HASH Shirts in 4 different colors with Numerous
differnet types of womens t-shirts.

Mens- shirts- $10
ladies shirts- $12

If you really want to miss messing up Party Central on a 70 degree day be a lame ass!!!!

CH3 #1485

unday 4/8/2007 Meet @ 2pm, Out @ 2:30pm
Chicago HHH #1485 Easter Hash
Hare(s): Virtually Hung & Cum in my Assfault
Venue: El Casa de Hung – 4619 N. Magnolia Ave.

There will likely be some give aways, candy, perhaps an egg hunt, and food… but no guarantees until we get our rabbit turds together.

More details will be forwarded in short order!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1484

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1484

The Chicago Hash, 1 Apr 2007 by Horn-E

Princess Labia and Boner Malfunction laid this rainy trail. The RA, Calvin Klein will be punished for this. I counted 17 at the start. Not bad for a rainy day. That is, compared to recent numbers. So that was a surprise. They laid the trail in flour, so the marks weren’t to bad considering the rain. Well, that and the fact that it was a Boner Malfunction trail. We took off down some city streets. Hey, that is all there is around there. I caught a split and led to the first Check. Here is where we lost Calvin Klein and Smell This. The out trail was to close to the in trail and they followed the trail backwards, past the second beer check and to the first beer check. Meanwhile we ran in a light rain and finally hit a neighborhood grocery where Boner Malfunction was waiting with dollars for everyone to go in and pool their money together for six packs. We then headed over the Smell This‘s back porch to drink the beer. I managed to talk to Virtually Hung and found out that he was recruited as a hare to help carry something up to the third floor. That sounds like a keg. Why are we standing on a cold porch drinking bottles while there is a keg waiting? Then we were off again and following Calvin Klein who was now running what he already ran as he led us to the second beer stop in a park. Here we stood in the rain, drinking beer while there was a keg waiting for us at the finish, inside, warm, dry. Eventually we were off and we again followed Calvin Klein, which was good because the marks were being washed away by this time. He led us to a third beer stop. A third beer stop. We have a keg waiting. Oh. this one is in a porn shop. An adult toy store. We had beer in one hand while we fondled various toys with the other. Hmmm. Barks On All Fours was off looking for something special with Milk My Yak. That trapeze looked great. Chicken Stiffer was trying to remember which flag was his, the red one in the back room or the rainbow one in the store. Its Too Soft was taking pictures of various things for ideas for his next rooftop party. Speckle Bird, yes Speckle Bird actually came out. He was looking for bottle rockets and hair spray. Virgin Banger and Smell This were looking at a harness for Boner Malfunction for Memorial Day. Ernst Cummingway was off in the corner reading books and getting ideas for his next great novel novel. Just Mike was looking to get named in a threesome with Mount Schwinga and Two Tickets To Pair Of Thighs. Mount him between their thighs and buy him two tickets to Schwinga heaven. I was just looking for all of these great toys I wanted to try out with Cum In My Ass Fault. Virtually Hung was looking at all of the dildos and thinking, THAT’S HUNG. Peter Cock In Tail was standing next to him and thinking about peters and cocks in tail. Hmmmm! And as for Princess Labia, think how convenient it is to live above this place. “Hold that position for a few minutes while I make a quick trip down stairs.” But back to beer. We still had beer up stairs and all of the bimbos blew their little penis whistles, again and again as they led us up to the heavens above. The keg was tapped, we drank, and Calvin Klein led us in a circle. Smell This and Calvin Klein for FRB. Barks On All Fours for DFL. Its a habit. FBI was Two Tickets To Pair Of Thighs. And our visitor from DC, Peter Cock In Tail, got a down down and sang us the Hot Vigina song. Eventually Flying Hooters showed up. Pizzas were served and I understand that some stayed until after midnight and the keg still wasn’t floating. Just a hint. If we are paying for a keg, perhaps we don’t need three beer stops with cans of beer, while some of the keg will go to waste. But that beer stop in the toy store was good. Best of the year so far.

CH3 #1484

Sunday 4/1/2007 Meet @2pm, Out @2:30pm
Chicago HHH #1484 April Fool’s Day Hash
Hare(s): Princess Labia & Boner Malfunction
Venue: Mac’s American Food & Drink – 1801 W Division St

Now you all know since it’s Princess Labia and Boner Malfunction setting trail, it will be
shitty, but also know this: There will be multiple beer stops and shot checks, challenges at
every beverage stop, and you *will *have to brave the ins and outs of the jungle (aka:
Wicker Park).

The trail will be an A to B to ??? *The A and the ??? will be close (or will they?)

A: Mac’s at 1801 W. Division St. (Yes, Mac’s is the dominant hash location in Wicker Park,
we just couldn’t miss a stop at this legendary location. Happy April Fool’s Day!)

Directions: *Blue line* to Division stop. Walk West on Division.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1483

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1483 Post Shamrock Shuffle

Hare: Lifa
Venue: J & M Tap
HASHERS: Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Coffee, Tea, and Me, Mount-Me Puhlzee, Horn-e, Lifa, Cum in my Assfault, It’s too Soft, Chicken Stiffer, Barks on all Fours, Virtually Hung, Erect de Red, Spotted Cock, Mouthful of Meat, Stump Humper, Sir Poops A Lot, Special Head, Cheap Date, Just Faith, Just Patti, Just Hannah, Or G

The GM showed up late due to CTA problems on the Blue Line maybe I should have listened to 69-CENTS MANS warning about slow trains on the Blue line. When I got there at 2:40 pm there were 20+ hashers to greet me. Even LIFA thought this would be a small crowd due to the Shamrock Shuffle, but if you lay it they will come LIFA. I guess it did help to have an 80-degree day. Most of the pack were wearing their green shirts from GDR and may others their shirts from the Shamrock Shuffle. LIFA with the surprised look on his face gave the chalk talk and said, “GO SOUTH you wankers!” The pack was off VIRTUALLY HUNG took the early FRB position while COFFEE, TEA, or ME, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, and JUST HANNAH brought up the rear. It was great to talk with STUMP HUMPER up at the front of the pack for a little bit nice to see you back!!

‘SIR POOPS A LOT and SPECIAL HEAD brought the great weather with them from Hawaii so thanks guys. Soon we got stuck at a check on Chicago Ave? It looked like MOUNT ME employed his police talents and interrogated that trail till it gave up the goods on which way to run!! SPOTTED COCK even was in the spirit of the green wearing his green Waukesha t-shirt. The pack went north and ran by the Norwegian Hospital near Garfield Park, and we didn’t even lose ERECT DE RED when he saw his countries flag!! IT”S too SOFT was snapping pictures left and right. The trail entered Garfield Park and on such a warm day it was beautiful. HORN-E found trail heading west but the CHICKEN found a short cut to the Promised Land. We wound around the Lagoon and the old Boathouse. The trail went east from here and seemed to be gunning for a familiar hashers HOUSE?? The trail ran by Clemente High School and Puerto Rican flags were seen in abundance. MOUTHFUL of MEAT somehow got to the beer stop first and was the FRB AND FBI today. The beer stop was at CASA de BONER, but where was BONER??? HMMM maybe still hung over??? The pack had a few gold and cold ones and jogged back to the J&M tap.

Here we saw CALVIN and BATTERIES waiting for us along with ASSFAULT. Even CHEAP DATE made it out today and she came all the way from Brazil to hash today!! CALVIN ran the circle and down-downs were handed out to the usually suspects. ITS got one for his mixed up hash dates. THE 1500 is on JULY 21st you goof. CALVIN got one for the great weather. ERECT DE RED got one for getting his 1st hash tag. About this time JUST FAITH and JUST PATTI made it to the circle all sweaty and hot. They too got their down-down for being the DFL’s. see you next week for April 1st hash

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1483

Chicago HHH #1483
Post Shamrock Shuffle Hash
Hare(s): Lifa
Venue: JM Tap – 957 N Leavitt
TIME: 2 pm

Also next week on Saturday March 31, 2007 Several Chicago Hashers are going to Fort Wayne for the F-troop 1-year Analiversary hash. Cost is $35. Many of you have said you want visitors here in Chicago well the Small F-Troop hash had 10 people show for GDR and that was their whole hash! If you want to go to this hash please contact me and we can see if we can get you a ride there. We will be back for April 1 hash in Chicago!

http://www.ftrooph3.com/

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM