CH3 #1540

Hare(s): Lower Wackoff

Venue: Gladstone Lounge – 5734 N. Milwaukee Ave

Hash Cash: A meager $8 for more fun than you can shake a stick at

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Sunday April 13th at 2 PM at the Gladstone Lounge, 5734 N. Milwaukee Avenue in Chicago. Bar phone is 773 763-3385. This bar loves the hashers. They are doing a chili cookoff in the bar on the same day. Lynette the bar owner says there will be room for all of us. Trail is sure to include shiggy. On On LW

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit

From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: This one’s a little tricky from Lincoln Park. Red Line to any major CTA East/West Bus (North Ave, Fullerton, Diversey, Belmont, Addison, Irving Park, Foster) to Milwaukee and catch the Milwaukee #56 bus Northwest to the Jefferson Park Blue Line station. Switch to the Pace #270 bus which leaves Jeff Park on the 00/20/40 minute mark of each hour and it’s about six minutes to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park. Switch to the Pace #270 bus which leaves Jeff Park on the 00/20/40 minute mark of each hour and it’s about six minutes to the bar.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Milwaukee & Mason (just North of Bryn Mawr, South of Devon). Parking is as plentiful as rats in an alley behind a restaurant in Ukrainian Village.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1539

Hash Trash: 4/6/08
Hares: Batteries not included, and Calvin Klein
Venue: Four Trey�s

VIRGINS: Just Andy, Just Lisa
VISITORS: Elmer Pudphucker
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Charlie, Just Tom, R-Tard-E, Just Pat, Magnetic Muff, Mount Schwiiinga, Cobwebs In the Bush, 8675309, Likes it on the Bottom, Sperm Diversion, I like Dick, Stab�em and Slab�em, Princess Labia, Just I Lean, Mount Me Puh�lzee, Coffee, Tea, or Me, Uploader, I�m Late Again, Just Steve, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Lifa, KGB, Bloody Thighs, Chip-n-Dale, BEST EFFORT- Salty Gash, Packher Ass
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS= 1
TOTAL HASHERS= 37

A great recipe for hashing is take a new spring April day add 60-degree weather and you get a great hash with close to 40-hashers. Our hares today were the venerable CALVIN KLEIN and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED. They took off with a good 20-minute head start for their live haring. This is not even close to the usually 5-10 minute head start most hares get, but maybe CALVIN is getting slow in his old age? The hash today saw many old faces rejoin the hash on such a beautiful day and we saw two new virgins as well. JUST LISA and JUST ANDY came to our hash because JUST Lisa�s friend hashes in Boise, Idaho!! We also welcomed back LIFA from the interhash and he was bearing gifts for some hashers! I�M LATE AGAIN, UPLOADER, COBWEBS IN THE BUSH, and LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM also came back to the CH3 today and we were happy to have them back. The chalk talk was done by yours truly but I did have a memorable moment dropping an F-Bomb when a family was walking by. The trail started
across the street and MOUNT SCWIIINGA was right on it with I LIKE DICK close behind. The trail went west and south for a while and UPLOADER was sniffing the trail out with SPERM DIVERSION scouting in front. ELMER PUDPHUCKER was having a great time running the trail with STAB�EM and KGB. I�m glad we were able to give him a semi-decent day to run on in Chicago. The trail here came back North and crossed over Addison and went west. JUST CHARLIE seemed to find trail today even though he was running with a dislocated shoulder from the Thursday Hash. The back of the pack saw the dog walkers today with COBWEBS in THE BUSH and JUST STEF bringing along their furry friends to the hash. 8675039, now part of the POP crew was out early today with the planning committee getting ready to show us a good time on July 12. COFFEE, TEA, or ME was out with Just Hannah? I believe. We crossed the Addison Bridge over the Chicago River and went north again.
We quickly found what has to be he last chunk of snow from the winter North of Brother Rice High School. We went North still crossing Irving Park Road until Magnetic Muff found trail crossing over the Montrose bridge back to the East. We meandered through the neighborhoods and CHIP-N-DALE along with SPERM DIVERSION found the Beer stop at Margie�s. CALVIN and BATTERIES found us a hole in the wall bar that even had the CUBS game on. We stayed at the beer stop for about � hour and watched the CUBS defeat the ASSSSTROs. It seems like our new virgins were having a good time and should be back sometime soon!! We were soon out and ran straight south on Damen back to the bar.
CALVIN got the circle going while MOUNT SCHWIIINGA and I�M LATE AGAIN kept the hash with full pitchers. Our FRB was SPERM DIVERSION and the FBI was MAGNETIC MUFF? CHICKEN STIFFER got a lot of lost property returned to him today. VIRGIN BANGER and RENTA VIRGIN showed up with a new pup so we had 3 dogs at this hash. The Virgin dog is a definite hash dog because it loved to drink beer, AWESOME!! JUST BRIAN is slowly approaching his 10th hash along with CUMMA SLUTRA and you know what that means, LANYARDS and whistles!! The circle went on for some time and then CALVIN got hungry so he closed the circle.
After the circle was closed we had three hashers that needed a naming so we sent JUST STEF, JUST TOM, and JUST PAT to the other part of the bar. The hash got together and throw out a bunch of suggestions things like Stubby, Pipe Blower, Triple D, Serves the Hard Rock, Lie on a lady, Blow me were heard in the FOUR TREY�s but JUST PAT�S name is now 3 x A LADY, JUST STEF is now CUMS ON I LEAN, and JUST TOM is now BAG SQUEEZER!!! Next week the hash is up in the 5600 north block of Milwaukee at the Gladstone Lounge. Be watchful of the POLISH CONSTITUION DAY HASH on May 5 and Memorial Day hash on May 25. If you want to travel come to Indy on May 17 or Waukesha on May 10th.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1539

Chicago #1539 Sunday 4/6, 2pm @ Four Treys

Hare(s): Batteries Not Included & Calvin Klein

Venue: Four Treys – 3333 N. Damen (at Roscoe)

Hash Cash: Now $8 as per vote at the last MisManageMent Meeting, but still a great bargain given former New York governor Elliot Spitzer dropping 80 grand on hookers last year. Most of the rest of us don’t even pull down 80 large a year so we have to make due with considerably skankier ho’s.

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This should be interesting as a Calvin Klein trail in Roscoe Village is always full of clever stuff to confuse the pack! No food at this crib but lotsa local options and free pool!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to the newly re-opened Addison stop, hoof it two blocks West to Damen and two blocks South to Roscoe. Note the Paulina Brown Line stop just closed so don’t even think about it.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Addison, Addison #152 Bus East to Damen, hoof it two blocks South on Damen to Roscoe.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Roscoe & Damen. Parking is usually quite findable for a yuppie ‘hood as there’s lotsa single family homes in the area but watch out for new resident permit zones which infest Lakeview like 17-year cicadas did last spring.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1538

Hash Trash: 3/30/08
Hares: I Like Dick, Just I Lean
Venue: Shenanagin’s

VIRGINS: Just Neil, Just Mike, Just Mike, Just Matt
VISITORS:
HASHERS- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Brian, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, PackHer Ass, Ballsalotapus, Or-GE, R-Tard-E, Rotten Whore, Cum in My Assfault, Just Rob, Just Rob II, Super Stuffer, Just Pat, Odor Eater, Just Teresa, Magnetic Muff,
VIRGINS= 4
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 32

Many members of the CH3 went down to Grant Park to run the Shamrock shuffle today. SALTY, PACKHER, CALVIN, ROTTEN, ITS TOO SOFT, CHICKEN, OR-G, ODOR, JUST TOM, and MAGNETIC MUFF all ran some respectable times. After the race the whole group enjoyed the second year of beer in a box. OR-G, I, and SALTY went around begging for beer coupons from runners who were not going to use them and we had over 150 coupons for free beer. By the time we got to the hash at 2 pm we were very wasted. 32-hasers showed up to hash today nice job!!

JUST I LEAN and I LIKE DICK were our hares for today and laid three trails a walking trail, a jogging trail, and running trail. The pack slowly arrived at the bar and we even had a 4×4 try to park on the division street sidewalk to hash with us. The hares gave the chalk talk and the pack was gone with OR-G leading it. The trail wound around the lakefront and worked its way back to SUPER STUFFER’s place where he and MOUTHFUL of MEAT waited for the pack to arrive. JUST I LEAN proceeded to throw a can of beer to the GM, which hit him in the eye. Thank God the beer was cold so I used it as an ice pack. The Beer stop was superb and the pack enjoyed the beer and then took off for the bar.

CALVIN KLEIN led circle from the dance floor perch at the bar. He greeted our new virgins JUST NEIL, JUST MIKE & MIKE, and JUST MATT. ROTTEN WHORE was a big NON-RUNNER along with ODOR. The FRB was OR-G? And FBI CUMMA SLUTRA? CALVIN had a great old time running circle he even called out SUPER STUFFER and sang to him while he flipped the boy upside down!! The circle brought in SALTY and PACKHER ASS for outstanding running times at the Shamrock and JUST ROB II drank for being a reboot.

By this time I was way to unsober to remember much of the night. I do remember that after the circle ROTTEN WHORE, BATTERIES, CUMMA SLUTRA, and Even R-TARD-E tried to pole dance on the bar but R-Tard-E didn’t have the body for the pole so he was dismissed. The other Pole dancers entertained the hashers and all the other denizens of the bar. JUST PAT and ASSFAULT played a little one on one? People get your mind out of the gutter there was a basketball court in the bar. It looked like all had a good time so we will see you next week!!! Hopefully 60-degree weather SUNDAY!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

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CH3 #1538

Hare(s): Just I Lean & Other Unindicted Co-Conspirators
Venue: She-nannigan’s – 16 W Division
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite the US Air Force awarding the $35 billion airborne-refueling tanker contract to the Northrup-Grumman/EADS consortium’s A330-based offering over the CH-3’s half barrel-based tanker proposal.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Clark/Division, hoof it 1 1/2 blocks East to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Division, Division #70 bus East to Dearborn, bar is between Dearborn and State.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to your nearest Red Line stop and take the L. Cheep parking is about as easy to find as Jager bombs in Mecca. If you must drive, your best bet is West towards Cabrini Green where it thins out a bit, for obvious reasons.

2008 Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team results are up! We finished respectablly but as expected did not beat the running shoe store teams as those people are running fanactics. Too bad there isn’t a beer drinking competition because our hash team would have flipped them like a cheese omelette!
Despite the rain and cold at the postparty a good time was had by all thanks to more beer tickets than we could possibly drink (which is saying something given we are HASHERS! Mad props to returning free beer ticket harvesting Champion Or-G (also our fastest runner!) as well as Deputy beer coupon collectors Chicken Stiffer and Salty Gash. OMG I must have had at least nine myself at the postparty and the hash was the kill shot for my day!

Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team Individual Results (top two times for each sex will count for the team overall results so Or-G and I will probably be the two dudes and Chicken Stiffer and Muff will count for the bimbos).

Beer in a Box 2008

+-+-> Pre-lube with the hash at the Shamrock Shuffle Postparty in Grant Park. Free Admission and Live Music by Maggie Speaks

Shamrock Shuffle Sunday – GAME ON!

The big day is almost here for those racists running in this Sunday’s Shamrock Shuffle 8K. The plan is similar to prior years’. The race starts 9:30am (note seeded corrals close 9:15). Plan on meeting after the race on the hill across from gear check, munch on some of the post-race food to build a base for the day, and then send out some volunteers to collect “donations” of drink tickets from departing runners who are not going to the party.

Once we get “enough” tickets, we’ll move over to the post-race party area and camp out wherever we can find a space large enough for the group, usually somewhere between the music stage and the beer tent. Don’t be a wanker and forget to grab an empty PowerBar box (or whatever you can find) for your “beer-in-a-box”. This year one of our Summer street festival favorites will be playing, Maggie Speaks.

The post-party is free and non-runners are welcome to join us after the race. It will be in Grant Park, East of Columbus between Balbo and Congress. Hit my cell if you can’t find us (312) 925-6386 as there will be a LOT of people there. Bring your ID as you will need it to get a wristband to get beer. Also pacing and food are important as this will be like St. Patrick’s Day – we start drinking 10:30/11am and essentially go all day until after the hash.

The party ends at 1:30pm, we usually have enough beer leftover to hold us till 2pm and then we’ll walk across the Loop to the hash at Stocks & Blondes (Washington & Wells). Note the combination of being up super early on Sunday, running the race, and then beer-in-a-box the rest of the time before the hash usually means a lot of the race runners are half in the bag before the hash so walking the trail is acceptable hash behavior.

Keep your fingers crossed for nice weather as many of treat this event as “Opening Day” for the 2009 Chicago Outdoor Summer Street Festival Season and ask anyone who’s been before, it’s usually a heck of a great time!

Party on on,

It’s Too Soft/Fuji

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1537

Hash Trash: 3/23/08
Hares: Virtually Hung, Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Virtually Hungs Casa

VIRGINS: Just Nora
VISITORS:
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, Bloody Thighs, Stab�em and Slab�em, Lockness Cockster, Just Pat, Special Ed Giver, PackHer Ass, KGB, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Mike, Mr. Cheese Cake, CP, Mudsucker
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 30

Last year saw the Easter Hash at Virtually Hungs place and 15 people showed, this year we doubled that to 30 hashers at casa Virtually Hung. Next year should we expect 45? The day was great for hashing with 45-degrees and Sunny and many hashers like WRAPPER SNATCHER, ASSFAULT, BLOODY THIGHS and others had on cute bunny tails when they ran. The chalk talk was completed in the alley behind VIRTUALLY HUNG�s place and the pack was off. CALVIN KLEIN was soon leading the pack east towards the lake with the LOCKNESS COCKSTER close behind. Mr. CHEESECAKE was out there somewhere but after the first missed check he caught trail heading east to Lakeshore Drive. The pack was stumped with a check on Lakeshore and Argyle until HAPPY ASS GRABBER and JUST PAT found the trail going north. Soon the whole pack like SALTY and PACKhER ASS were following the trail west but this was after there was a big long false trail that most of the pack hit. The trail went through the north side
neighborhoods until it ended at BLOODY THIGHS place. JUST NORA our virgin was the first woman in and the pack enjoyed a fine Special Export beer at the house of BLOODY THIGHS. We sat on our butts for 15 minutes and then it was getting cold so we ran back the couple of blocks to where we had more beer and CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT was making us some food.
Back at the home of VIRTUALLY HUNG we made the circle in the basement where CALVIN lead the circle in some songs? HAPPY talked about what does and does not happen after you get married to MILK MY YAK. The hares were punished numerous times for the crappy trail? But great food. KGB, 8675309, Mr. CHEESECAKE, and others were reboots. CP is now considered a visitor to the CH3, and MUDSUCKER missed the circle completely. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED announced that we now have a Hash Bar Wiki so hares can find bars in their neighborhood that are hash friendly. JUST STEFF and JUST I LEAN had to take off early so Steff could make her way to Madison via the bus at Midway. Eventually the circle closed and people began to go upstairs for food and more beer!! JUST BRIAN and JUST CHARLIE had a good time talking with CP. CP seemed to turn a little red during their conversations over what I have no idea. ITS TOO SOFT again was snapping all the pictures he could get before the hash
was over. Hope to see you next week at the SHAMROCK SHUFFLE POST HASH.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Mismanagement Agenda

CH3 Agenda
3/24/08 at 7 pm
Hidden Shamrock
2723 N. Halsted
GM REPORT

A. Budget
1. Verify funds We have $1078 in hash cash.
2. Hash Tax and cash kept at $1 per person and $6 total?
3. Turn over $1000 for new GM in 2009.
4. $248 sales in haberdashery with numerous shirts around
5. We have been self funded for the last six months NO HASH TAX HAS BEEN COLLECTED in six months
6. Ok New budget

B. ANTHRAX Hash �Quick notes
1. Technically is in the hole $179 but still have numerous shirts to sell
2. Do we do this again next year?
3. ANTHRAX HASH DEC. 20 2 pm?
C. Calendar
1. Polish Constitution day hash MAY 5, 2008 maybe will start at 7 PM sharp?
2. Memorial Day Hash SUNDAY May 25, 2008
3. POWER OF THE PUSSY (POP) July 11-13 Weekend!! Talk to MOM, Batteries, Salty, PackHer, Schwiinga, 867
4. Possible date for 1569 hash is October 18, 2008 marathon is Oct. 12 that date is out.
5. August 31, 2008 Labor Day Hash at ITS TOO SOFT. Also August 16, 2008 Air and Water Show Party
6. R-Tard-E wants to do a campout at his Place in Wisconsin over the Summer. Late July early August?

COMMITTEE REPORTS

D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars.
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line.

E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. If you want to be put on or taken off the CH3 Hareline tell him.
3. NEW CH3 Website will be out shortly thanks to ONE HANDED TYPIST

F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- MILK MY YAK WAS FIRED
1. The past two years have seen us make $800 dollars on Haberdashery sales. This year alone we have made $248
2. Have plenty of t-shirts to sell along with other left over things.
3. Might have to buy new lanyards this year no whistles needed yet.
4. New 30th anniversary design is out.

G. RA�s & circle: Calvin?
1. Do we want to train another RA?
2. New songs?

H. Misc

1. May 10, 2008 Waukesha Red Dress
2. May 17 INDY PROM DRESS Hash
3. JUNE 27-29 DAYTON CAMPOUT weekend
4. Sept. 6th Cubs in Sin City ROAD TRIP?
New Business

– Raise Hash Tax?
– Hare cost is rising do to large numbers have hashers showing up what do we do?
– Anthrax do we do it again or a Chicago Fire Hash in October with 1569?
– 30th Anniversary?

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM