Chicago Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash: 3/23/08
Hares: Virtually Hung, Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Virtually Hungs Casa

VIRGINS: Just Nora
VISITORS:
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, Bloody Thighs, Stab�em and Slab�em, Lockness Cockster, Just Pat, Special Ed Giver, PackHer Ass, KGB, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Mike, Mr. Cheese Cake, CP, Mudsucker
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 30

Last year saw the Easter Hash at Virtually Hungs place and 15 people showed, this year we doubled that to 30 hashers at casa Virtually Hung. Next year should we expect 45? The day was great for hashing with 45-degrees and Sunny and many hashers like WRAPPER SNATCHER, ASSFAULT, BLOODY THIGHS and others had on cute bunny tails when they ran. The chalk talk was completed in the alley behind VIRTUALLY HUNG�s place and the pack was off. CALVIN KLEIN was soon leading the pack east towards the lake with the LOCKNESS COCKSTER close behind. Mr. CHEESECAKE was out there somewhere but after the first missed check he caught trail heading east to Lakeshore Drive. The pack was stumped with a check on Lakeshore and Argyle until HAPPY ASS GRABBER and JUST PAT found the trail going north. Soon the whole pack like SALTY and PACKhER ASS were following the trail west but this was after there was a big long false trail that most of the pack hit. The trail went through the north side
neighborhoods until it ended at BLOODY THIGHS place. JUST NORA our virgin was the first woman in and the pack enjoyed a fine Special Export beer at the house of BLOODY THIGHS. We sat on our butts for 15 minutes and then it was getting cold so we ran back the couple of blocks to where we had more beer and CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT was making us some food.
Back at the home of VIRTUALLY HUNG we made the circle in the basement where CALVIN lead the circle in some songs? HAPPY talked about what does and does not happen after you get married to MILK MY YAK. The hares were punished numerous times for the crappy trail? But great food. KGB, 8675309, Mr. CHEESECAKE, and others were reboots. CP is now considered a visitor to the CH3, and MUDSUCKER missed the circle completely. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED announced that we now have a Hash Bar Wiki so hares can find bars in their neighborhood that are hash friendly. JUST STEFF and JUST I LEAN had to take off early so Steff could make her way to Madison via the bus at Midway. Eventually the circle closed and people began to go upstairs for food and more beer!! JUST BRIAN and JUST CHARLIE had a good time talking with CP. CP seemed to turn a little red during their conversations over what I have no idea. ITS TOO SOFT again was snapping all the pictures he could get before the hash
was over. Hope to see you next week at the SHAMROCK SHUFFLE POST HASH.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 3/2/08
Hares: Rotten Whore, Odor Eater
Venue: Rottens Place

VIRGINS: Just Stephanie, Just Pops, Just Janet
VISITORS: Hot Lips
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Magnetic Muff, Just Ryan, Moldy Man Sac, Lifa, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Up Loader, R-Tard-E, Just Tara, Just Charlie, Just Tim, Just Andy, Just Kevin, Just Kristen
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 35

The day after hash ball was billed as a hangover hash and the GM came fully prepared to meet those conditions. I don�t know what the rest of you were thinking but shouldn�t all of you have come late to the hash with a raging headache and shaking knees? The day had 50-degree weather and with nice weather out comes the hashers, 35 hashers to be exact. I really can�t comment about the trail because I was on a bus making my way south, but I did hear that many people missed the beer stop? Good thing the hash ball had left an over keg for hashers at the on-in. I made it right in time for the circle run by our own CALVIN KLEIN. He quickly punished the hares, ROTTEN WHORE and ODOR EATER. Our FRB was I don�t fucking know and our FBI was I don�t fucking know because I was still drunk. I do know that we had three virgins show up that laughed their asses off at our hash songs. JUST POPS, JUST STEPHANIE, and JUST JANET cannot wait to come back next week. JUST TARA gets a shout
out for inviting them to the hash. JUST I LEAN finally turned 23 today and if you haven�t seen him we have renamed him TOM CRUISE��� Not!!!!! It was nice to see MOLDY MAN SAC and 8675309 make it out today I guess a warm Sunday without football is all we need to get him to hash. Please do not tell him about Arena Football. MILK MY YAK was pouring beer today for the hash. If you haven�t heard MILK MY YAK has been officially fired from the Haberdashery, but was been retained by the CH3 Mismanagement as the official Brew Master of the CH3 due to his supreme efforts of making tasty beer for the hash ball. CUMMA SLUTCHA and JUST BRAIN (our plumber) made it out today and even found time to down a few slices of Pizza, which I have been told is the largest pizza hashers have every seen in Chicago. That ZA was 22 inches strong I�m sure not as big as ITS TOO SOFT but close. Eventual the circle was closed and most came inside to await the arrival of that large pie. Well I hope
to see you out next week and check out the Green Dress Hash link if you are still thinking about joining 18 CH3 hashers in St. Louis.

http://www.big-hump.com/content.php?Green+Dress+2008

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 2/24/08
Hares: Peterbilt
Venue: Nick’s Bar

VIRGINS: Just Charlie, Just Tara
VISITORS:
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Packher Arse, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Just Pat, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Barks on all Fours, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Stab’em and Slab’em, Bloody Thighs, Frosted Discharge, Just Steve, Mount Me Puh’lzee, KGB, Locheness Cockster, Two Tickets too a Pair Thighs, coffee, Tea, or me, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mud Sucker, Baby Coffee
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 31.5

This hash was billed as the PETERBILT 30th Anniversary of Hashing of Feb. 24, 2008. Peterbilt gets much thanks for this hash because afterwards you could only hear the gently movement of hashers jaws gnawing on a fine buffet feast provided by PB of the CH3 hash. PB showed up about 20 minutes late but this seemed to work for HORN-E because he also arrived late to the hash today or if you look at it from another way he arrived right on time.

PB ran his quick circle and gave our virgins some quick hints on how to follow trail maybe JUST CHARLIE and JUST TARA got it but we soon would find out on trail. The trail ran quickly across the railroad tracks and MILK MY YAK, COFFEE, TEA, or ME, and BARKS ON ALL FOURS who were pushing baby COFFEE in her buggy followed the pack. The pack was soon lost after a check in a park. VIRTUALLY HUNG went east and TWO TICKETS ranged southwest, but finally MUDSUCKER found the true trail cumming back on itself. The trail ran along the tracks from there and then went south.

It looked like JUST PAT was up front today splashing through puddles and slipping on the ice to get there. WRAPPER SNATCHER looks like she is finally getting used to the cold weather we have here in Chicago or maybe she was just happy that the weather was sunny and 45 degrees today. After a back check the GREAT LOCHNESS COCKSTER found true trail again going east. The pack again came to another one PB’s fifty checks on trail and very soon we had two harriers calling ON ON so I stopped the pack and told them to wait until one of them found the false trail mark which JUST BRIAN did. LIFA this time made the correct choice and was on along with JUST ROB who was in tow. Next, guess what the pack found on trail another check!!

This time the VIRTUALLY HUNG and I found trail crossing back over the train tracks and going NW. VIRTUALLY HUNG was even smart enough to bypass a blatant back check nice going young man. The trail ran into PARK RIDGE and the famous PICK WICK theatre area. Here the trail went down Dempster and then north to what was supposedly a BN sign but it took BLOODY THIGHS and STAB’EM and SLAB’EM, the brains or the outfit, to notice it really was B 11 or back check eleven. We picked up trail again and seemed to be moving back towards the bar. JUST PAT found true trail going along the tracks and we were back at the bar but not before we ran into JUST STEF and JUST I LEAN walking down the trail.

Back at the bar everyone was antsy to get the circle rolling and eat PB’s food and nuts. MUDSUCKER was seen hovering around the food all circle long. CALVIN called him into the circle for that. TWO TICKETS and VIRTUALLY HUNG were our FRB’s today for finding most of the trail. ITS TOO SOFT got his down-down for saying hash ball was MARCH 10th on the hareline. KGB and FROSTED DISCHARGE were naturally called in for missing in action over 2 months.

SALTY GASH and PACKHER ASS along with BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED were constantly giggling and talking in the corner of the bar. So they had to drink. CALVIN introduced our virgins JUST CHARLIE and JUST TARA to the hash and informed them what a down-down was. JUST STEVE, one of our newer hashers better buy some hash attire soon or he will be called out for no hash attire. All through the circle PB kept us a countdown until the food was ready. We heard 28.3 minutes, quarter of an hour, and then finally the food was ready so

CALVIN quickly sang swing low and the circle was closed. The next 30 minutes saw unbridled gnawing on food by the hash until no one could eat anymore. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK AT THE HASH BALL

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM