CH3 Anthrax 2016

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1539

Hash Trash: 4/6/08
Hares: Batteries not included, and Calvin Klein
Venue: Four Trey�s

VIRGINS: Just Andy, Just Lisa
VISITORS: Elmer Pudphucker
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Charlie, Just Tom, R-Tard-E, Just Pat, Magnetic Muff, Mount Schwiiinga, Cobwebs In the Bush, 8675309, Likes it on the Bottom, Sperm Diversion, I like Dick, Stab�em and Slab�em, Princess Labia, Just I Lean, Mount Me Puh�lzee, Coffee, Tea, or Me, Uploader, I�m Late Again, Just Steve, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Lifa, KGB, Bloody Thighs, Chip-n-Dale, BEST EFFORT- Salty Gash, Packher Ass

A great recipe for hashing is take a new spring April day add 60-degree weather and you get a great hash with close to 40-hashers. Our hares today were the venerable CALVIN KLEIN and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED. They took off with a good 20-minute head start for their live haring. This is not even close to the usually 5-10 minute head start most hares get, but maybe CALVIN is getting slow in his old age? The hash today saw many old faces rejoin the hash on such a beautiful day and we saw two new virgins as well. JUST LISA and JUST ANDY came to our hash because JUST Lisa�s friend hashes in Boise, Idaho!! We also welcomed back LIFA from the interhash and he was bearing gifts for some hashers! I�M LATE AGAIN, UPLOADER, COBWEBS IN THE BUSH, and LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM also came back to the CH3 today and we were happy to have them back. The chalk talk was done by yours truly but I did have a memorable moment dropping an F-Bomb when a family was walking by. The trail started
across the street and MOUNT SCWIIINGA was right on it with I LIKE DICK close behind. The trail went west and south for a while and UPLOADER was sniffing the trail out with SPERM DIVERSION scouting in front. ELMER PUDPHUCKER was having a great time running the trail with STAB�EM and KGB. I�m glad we were able to give him a semi-decent day to run on in Chicago. The trail here came back North and crossed over Addison and went west. JUST CHARLIE seemed to find trail today even though he was running with a dislocated shoulder from the Thursday Hash. The back of the pack saw the dog walkers today with COBWEBS in THE BUSH and JUST STEF bringing along their furry friends to the hash. 8675039, now part of the POP crew was out early today with the planning committee getting ready to show us a good time on July 12. COFFEE, TEA, or ME was out with Just Hannah? I believe. We crossed the Addison Bridge over the Chicago River and went north again.
We quickly found what has to be he last chunk of snow from the winter North of Brother Rice High School. We went North still crossing Irving Park Road until Magnetic Muff found trail crossing over the Montrose bridge back to the East. We meandered through the neighborhoods and CHIP-N-DALE along with SPERM DIVERSION found the Beer stop at Margie�s. CALVIN and BATTERIES found us a hole in the wall bar that even had the CUBS game on. We stayed at the beer stop for about � hour and watched the CUBS defeat the ASSSSTROs. It seems like our new virgins were having a good time and should be back sometime soon!! We were soon out and ran straight south on Damen back to the bar.
CALVIN got the circle going while MOUNT SCHWIIINGA and I�M LATE AGAIN kept the hash with full pitchers. Our FRB was SPERM DIVERSION and the FBI was MAGNETIC MUFF? CHICKEN STIFFER got a lot of lost property returned to him today. VIRGIN BANGER and RENTA VIRGIN showed up with a new pup so we had 3 dogs at this hash. The Virgin dog is a definite hash dog because it loved to drink beer, AWESOME!! JUST BRIAN is slowly approaching his 10th hash along with CUMMA SLUTRA and you know what that means, LANYARDS and whistles!! The circle went on for some time and then CALVIN got hungry so he closed the circle.
After the circle was closed we had three hashers that needed a naming so we sent JUST STEF, JUST TOM, and JUST PAT to the other part of the bar. The hash got together and throw out a bunch of suggestions things like Stubby, Pipe Blower, Triple D, Serves the Hard Rock, Lie on a lady, Blow me were heard in the FOUR TREY�s but JUST PAT�S name is now 3 x A LADY, JUST STEF is now CUMS ON I LEAN, and JUST TOM is now BAG SQUEEZER!!! Next week the hash is up in the 5600 north block of Milwaukee at the Gladstone Lounge. Be watchful of the POLISH CONSTITUION DAY HASH on May 5 and Memorial Day hash on May 25. If you want to travel come to Indy on May 17 or Waukesha on May 10th.