Chicago Hash House Harriers

The Chicago Hash 9/25/06 by Horn-E

Our hares were EZ on the Ass and Stump Humper. I’d like to say something good about this hash, but I’m just not that big of a liar. Okay, I’m kidding. Sort of. The actual course wasn’t all that bad. The marks just weren’t were Chicago Hashers would normally look for them. Like under a street light. Like on a corner. Like suddenly appearing on the other side of the street. Like somewhat consistently spaced. To often we had a split or a check and didn’t know how far to actually check before turning back. Do we go over a block one time and a hundred feet the next?

The pack wasn’t all good at acting like a pack either. Short cutting. I’m often guilty of this. But when you see a short cut, you have to take it. Ranging. I’m guilty of this. When you range out at a check, and the trail goes another way, you either back track or range towards the lead hound. Not calling out to others. This is a group endeavor. If you are on trail, call it out. When you come to a check, call it out. When someone shouts out RU, reply either Checking, On On, or Looking. Lets work like a pack like a hash should. And blowing a whistle at the third mark after a check or the first mark after a split and never actually checking if anyone actually heard your whistle is the same as not calling out at all. Lets work together so we can resolve trails that aren’t marked all that well in a more timely and organized manner.

And remember that the idea is to run as a group. The purpose of checking and splits is to regroup the pack, not split them up all over the city. One of our newer hashers said at the beer stop that this wasn’t fun. That is how we lose people. Our trails are supposed to be fun, together. I know that both hares tried to lay a good trail. But when that many fast. good hounds are scattered all over, something went wrong. Hares? Hounds?

The On On was good. Stump Humper’s mom put out a good supply of Mexican food for us and we all dug in. Then Calvin Klein led a decent circle and EZ on the Ass was almost overflowing with beer. We had a virgin in Just Kelly. And after the circle she tried to lead us in a dirty song. She sounds like a keeper.

Now everybody make plans for Chicago’s first Sunday hash of the season.

On On
Horn-E

The Chicago Hash 8/14/06 by Horn-E

We had a late announcement for this hash because of no hare. Please volunteer folks. You Got My Rod came out of nowhere and volunteered to hare from the Lake Shore Grill. We had a dozen hashers as we circled up. Our trail headed south to the river and then west to a split. Chicken Stiffer went south. Bye.

The trail went west and up to the upper lever at Michigan. We then headed through Illinois Center to a check. Meanwhile Chicken Stiffer was paying the most severe penalty that us ranging hashers face. He came out of the lower levels at Michigan Ave and headed west, way off course. He eventually found the On In marks and ended up following the trail backwards.

At our first check, Fiddle Tits found the trail heading south towards Millennium Park and a split at Randolph. She went east, I went west and I was On, across Michigan and then the marks disappeared. They were washing the sidewalks. I headed west to State with Sperm Bank. Eventually the hare arrived and helped the small lead pack back to the trail. I was off around a construction site and I eventually got back on trail and caught the pack at Madison and Clark at a check. Magnetic Muff was standing around checking out the local traffic. I followed Lower Wackoff west and eventually I saw Boner Malfunction ahead. Where did he come from? The last time I saw him he was a block off course at the first check. Sneaky bastard. We came to a check at Wacker and Washington. I went south and stumbled onto marks coming from the west. I tried to signal the pack, but they were out of site. So I followed the marks to the Franklin St. Bridge, over the river and into the lower levels. Suddenly Chicken Stiffer was there. We ran a few more blocks and suddenly Its Too Soft was running with Chicken Stiffer. They followed the trail while I kept trying to parallel them and eventually I found marks, lost marks and struggled on in. A short time later others started to arrive in little groups. Actually a good trail, that got screwed up a few times.

Eventually Chicken Stiffer led us in a short circle. This was good, because the beer price was higher then normal. Good beer. Good view and our last time at this location. Damn construction.