Chicago Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash: 3/2/08
Hares: Rotten Whore, Odor Eater
Venue: Rottens Place

VIRGINS: Just Stephanie, Just Pops, Just Janet
VISITORS: Hot Lips
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Magnetic Muff, Just Ryan, Moldy Man Sac, Lifa, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Up Loader, R-Tard-E, Just Tara, Just Charlie, Just Tim, Just Andy, Just Kevin, Just Kristen
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 35

The day after hash ball was billed as a hangover hash and the GM came fully prepared to meet those conditions. I don�t know what the rest of you were thinking but shouldn�t all of you have come late to the hash with a raging headache and shaking knees? The day had 50-degree weather and with nice weather out comes the hashers, 35 hashers to be exact. I really can�t comment about the trail because I was on a bus making my way south, but I did hear that many people missed the beer stop? Good thing the hash ball had left an over keg for hashers at the on-in. I made it right in time for the circle run by our own CALVIN KLEIN. He quickly punished the hares, ROTTEN WHORE and ODOR EATER. Our FRB was I don�t fucking know and our FBI was I don�t fucking know because I was still drunk. I do know that we had three virgins show up that laughed their asses off at our hash songs. JUST POPS, JUST STEPHANIE, and JUST JANET cannot wait to come back next week. JUST TARA gets a shout
out for inviting them to the hash. JUST I LEAN finally turned 23 today and if you haven�t seen him we have renamed him TOM CRUISE��� Not!!!!! It was nice to see MOLDY MAN SAC and 8675309 make it out today I guess a warm Sunday without football is all we need to get him to hash. Please do not tell him about Arena Football. MILK MY YAK was pouring beer today for the hash. If you haven�t heard MILK MY YAK has been officially fired from the Haberdashery, but was been retained by the CH3 Mismanagement as the official Brew Master of the CH3 due to his supreme efforts of making tasty beer for the hash ball. CUMMA SLUTCHA and JUST BRAIN (our plumber) made it out today and even found time to down a few slices of Pizza, which I have been told is the largest pizza hashers have every seen in Chicago. That ZA was 22 inches strong I�m sure not as big as ITS TOO SOFT but close. Eventual the circle was closed and most came inside to await the arrival of that large pie. Well I hope
to see you out next week and check out the Green Dress Hash link if you are still thinking about joining 18 CH3 hashers in St. Louis.

http://www.big-hump.com/content.php?Green+Dress+2008

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 2/24/08
Hares: Peterbilt
Venue: Nick’s Bar

VIRGINS: Just Charlie, Just Tara
VISITORS:
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Packher Arse, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Just Pat, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Barks on all Fours, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Stab’em and Slab’em, Bloody Thighs, Frosted Discharge, Just Steve, Mount Me Puh’lzee, KGB, Locheness Cockster, Two Tickets too a Pair Thighs, coffee, Tea, or me, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mud Sucker, Baby Coffee
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 31.5

This hash was billed as the PETERBILT 30th Anniversary of Hashing of Feb. 24, 2008. Peterbilt gets much thanks for this hash because afterwards you could only hear the gently movement of hashers jaws gnawing on a fine buffet feast provided by PB of the CH3 hash. PB showed up about 20 minutes late but this seemed to work for HORN-E because he also arrived late to the hash today or if you look at it from another way he arrived right on time.

PB ran his quick circle and gave our virgins some quick hints on how to follow trail maybe JUST CHARLIE and JUST TARA got it but we soon would find out on trail. The trail ran quickly across the railroad tracks and MILK MY YAK, COFFEE, TEA, or ME, and BARKS ON ALL FOURS who were pushing baby COFFEE in her buggy followed the pack. The pack was soon lost after a check in a park. VIRTUALLY HUNG went east and TWO TICKETS ranged southwest, but finally MUDSUCKER found the true trail cumming back on itself. The trail ran along the tracks from there and then went south.

It looked like JUST PAT was up front today splashing through puddles and slipping on the ice to get there. WRAPPER SNATCHER looks like she is finally getting used to the cold weather we have here in Chicago or maybe she was just happy that the weather was sunny and 45 degrees today. After a back check the GREAT LOCHNESS COCKSTER found true trail again going east. The pack again came to another one PB’s fifty checks on trail and very soon we had two harriers calling ON ON so I stopped the pack and told them to wait until one of them found the false trail mark which JUST BRIAN did. LIFA this time made the correct choice and was on along with JUST ROB who was in tow. Next, guess what the pack found on trail another check!!

This time the VIRTUALLY HUNG and I found trail crossing back over the train tracks and going NW. VIRTUALLY HUNG was even smart enough to bypass a blatant back check nice going young man. The trail ran into PARK RIDGE and the famous PICK WICK theatre area. Here the trail went down Dempster and then north to what was supposedly a BN sign but it took BLOODY THIGHS and STAB’EM and SLAB’EM, the brains or the outfit, to notice it really was B 11 or back check eleven. We picked up trail again and seemed to be moving back towards the bar. JUST PAT found true trail going along the tracks and we were back at the bar but not before we ran into JUST STEF and JUST I LEAN walking down the trail.

Back at the bar everyone was antsy to get the circle rolling and eat PB’s food and nuts. MUDSUCKER was seen hovering around the food all circle long. CALVIN called him into the circle for that. TWO TICKETS and VIRTUALLY HUNG were our FRB’s today for finding most of the trail. ITS TOO SOFT got his down-down for saying hash ball was MARCH 10th on the hareline. KGB and FROSTED DISCHARGE were naturally called in for missing in action over 2 months.

SALTY GASH and PACKHER ASS along with BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED were constantly giggling and talking in the corner of the bar. So they had to drink. CALVIN introduced our virgins JUST CHARLIE and JUST TARA to the hash and informed them what a down-down was. JUST STEVE, one of our newer hashers better buy some hash attire soon or he will be called out for no hash attire. All through the circle PB kept us a countdown until the food was ready. We heard 28.3 minutes, quarter of an hour, and then finally the food was ready so

CALVIN quickly sang swing low and the circle was closed. The next 30 minutes saw unbridled gnawing on food by the hash until no one could eat anymore. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK AT THE HASH BALL

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 2/17/08
Hares: Calvin Klein and Batteries Not Included
Venue: Kelly�s Pub

VIRGINS: Just Steve
VISITORS:
HASHER- Horn-e, R-Tard-E, Just Molly, Just Pat, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Ez on the Ass, Just Tom, Packher Arse, Just Stef, Mount Schwiiinga, Flying Hooters, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Just Pat, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Barks on all Fours, Rotten Whore, Peterbilt, Just I LEAN, Are they Real,
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 29

Those of you who missed the hash on Sunday missed 50-degree weather and very little rain. CALVIN and BATTERIES laid a live trail due to the possible rain showers, which never really materialized. The hash started from the fine Kelly�s Pub at 2:30 pm I explained the hash marks to our virgins and JUST STEVE seemed to understand the marks. After the quick explanation the hash was off. The trail went west and EZ ON THE ASS was finding and jumping into every puddle on trail. JUST I LEAN also was having fun on trail playing monkey boy. He was climbing up and over every fence and pole he could find. It was cute to see R-TARD- E and JUST STEF arm in arm walking the trail. Maybe we have a new hash couple? VIRTUALLY HUNG was the outright FRB today with ITS TOO SOFT snapping pictures to prove it. We welcomed back the WRAPPER SNATCHER who has made Chicago her home. PACKhER ARSE also came out to run today and she seemed to be finding trail easily today. The trail ran by
the 2122 N. Clark address where the Valentines Day Massacre occurred and eventually wound up at O-Malleys for the beer stop.
JUST TOM at the beer stop seemed to help EZ get the bartenders phone number she must have been blind. The pack was soon out of the bar and back at Kelly�s Pub where they ran into ROTTEN WHORE, PETERBILT, MILK MY YAK, and BARKS ON ALL FOURS. CALVIN soon got the circle going and called MOUNT SCHWIIIGA into the circle for wearing pink boots!! The Hash welcomed JUST STEVE into the CH3 family as well today. Hopefully we will see him back next week. CUMMA SLUTCHA was called into the circle for her constant chatter along with WRAPPER SNATCHER whose teeth were chattering from the cold. HORN-E was back in the corner with a hidden stash of beer along with SLUTCHA. CALVIN took mercy on us and ran a shorter than usual circle because we were outside and it was a little chilly out. We got back into the bar and got warm watching the Daytona 500. Soon the circle was reconvened and we had a naming to take care of. Several older hashers got together up front and discussed JUST
MOLLY�s name. Eventually ROTTEN WHORE suggested GIDDY UP and now we have a name for JUST MOLLY. Welcome to the hash GIDDY-UP!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

VIRGINS:

VISITORS: 3 Ring Cervix, Token Sucker, Port a Pussy

HASHERS- Horn-e, Mouthful of Meat, Super Stuffer, R-Tard-E, Uploader, Just Rob, Just Tyrone, Just Molly, Just Pat, Chicken Stiffer, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Lifa, Magnetic Muff, Just Seri, Wrapper Snatcher
VIRGINS= 0
VISTORS=3
TOTAL HASHERS= 21

Today the GM had a snow day so I took care of some business downtown, and on the El I ran into HOT PANTS. He seems to be doing well and hopefully will be at the hash on Thursday. This past Sunday we saw JUST I LEAN and JUST STEPHANIE on her 2nd hash actually hare. The trail was tough to lay due to the very wet conditions and heavy foot traffic. Even the colored marks were being removed by the heavy foot traffic but the pack prevailed and found the beer stop.

3 RING CERVIX was near the front of the trail most of the time and many of the male hashers liked to watch that hot assed harrierette up there. LIFA seemed to play the part of the good wise old father guiding the pack towards its destination. UPLOADER ran like this shit was nothing due to the fact he has seen more snow in the past year then we have for the last four, damn Madison transplant. 3 RING CERVIX was all worried like an expectant mom when her two little babies on trail TOKEN SUCKER and WRAPPER SNATCHER didn’t make it to the beer stop on time.

It seems that JUST TYRONE had to use his GPS navigation system to find the beer!! The trail seriously was wet and good, and people with small brain cells like JUST ROB and HORN-E ran it in their shorts? Not only were they cold but also their legs must have been soaked? Overall we had a great time out there with all hashers accounted for and then we made it back to the bar and eventual ITS TOO SOFTS place to watch the SUPER BOWL with 98 million of our closet friends, and who said football is dumb? WE did make it back to the bar and TJ the owner of the bar had $5 pitchers waiting for us. CALVIN and BATTERIES were too tired to run after playing kickball in the morning with 10 other hashers?!?!?!

When we got back to the bar CALVIN did his thing in the circle and called out those non-running people like PUSSY PATROL and JUST SERI for their laziness. WE also had a small titty war between BATTRIES and our visitors from SAN DIEGO. SUPER STUFFER was the only one who voted this night, don’t worry folks you will have your chance next week to vote.

WE also had 10 people sign up for the Hash Ball so get your money in before the price goes up this weekend. MAGNETIC MUFF for some reason never got the nerve to do a naked run today although I’m sure she would have found some takers? Mercifully CALVIN ended the circle so the hash could retire to the PARTY CENTRAL to watch the game.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

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