Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1557

HASH TRASH
July 28, 2008 Bar Atlantic 5200 N. Lincoln

HARES: R-tard-E, Just I Lean
VIRGINS: Just Mary, Just Tina, Just Rodney
VISITORS: Flag No Pole “Aloha Hash”, Silver Spooge ( EveryDay is Wednesday DC
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Corn Star, Just Mark, Just Shaina, Snatchsquatch, Just Lori, Just Joan, Sir Poops A Lot, More Tail, Just Amanda, Just John, Magnetic Muff, Virtually Hung, Super Stuf’her, Mouthful of Meat, Just Eileen, Just Brad, Just Jeff, Its Too Soft, Lower Whackoff, Horn-E, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, I Like Dick, Just Katy

TOTAL HASHERS= 32

The hash ran out of Bar Atlantic in the 5200 N. Block of Lincoln Ave. Again our translator of R-TARD-ESE, JUST I LEAN, did an interpretation of the chalk talk and then we were off!!! The pack was lead by VIRTUALLY HUNG and ran thru the alley behind the bar north. We came to a split at Foster and I caught trail thru the gangway of two buildings. JUST JOHN now was near the front with VIRTUALLY HUNG and I and we came to a check. I went east across Lincoln and found three marks that went between what looked to be some dilapidated public housing buildings, but no one followed.

It turned out that VIRTUALLY HUNG found trail west which was a major short cut but trail is trail so the pack followed him. MOUTHFUL OF MEAT said she heard and saw my whistle but decided to go with the pack. I followed trail and it wound around the cemetery on Western and than cut west on Bryn Mawr. I found a false trail that ended in man’s backyard and he was back there with a friend and a cooler of beer. I asked for a Cerveza and he obliged me.

I continued on and soon realized that the pack had to be in front of me and I was right when I saw true trail marks on most of the marks. I guess I ran an extra 1-1.5 mile tonight but that was all right. I ran through the River Park and saw BN and turned a corner the whole pack was cheering me on to the finish, ok maybe I am exaggerating but they were happy to see me I thought? I LIKE DICK had a cold Lite Beer for me so I was on my second beer stop!!!

We got to the bar in good shape and kicked a few bag playing people out of the backroom and started circle. SNATCHSQUATCH was the RA for today and he soon had the HARES in the circle and throughout the night we hear when one I LEAN drinks or Eileen’s drink. Man I guess she hates her name now!!!

We said Hello to FLAG NO POLE and SILVER SPOOGE along with SIR POOPS A LOT our visitors from parts unknown. Our Virgins JUST TINA, JUST RODNEY, and JUST MARY were shown how to do a proper down down by MORE TAIL, JUST EILEEN, and I LIKE DICK. VIRTUALLY HUNG even took a nap in the circle??

WE said hello to old friends that have been MIA LOWER WHACKOFF, MORE TAIL, SIR POOPS, JUST LORI, and MOUTHFUL OF MEAT!! CHICKEN was the DFL and VIRTUALLY HUNG was our FRB!!! SNATCHSQUATCH soon closed the circle and most people watched the CUBS finally beat the Brewers 6-4 Yeah CUBS!!!! Hope to see you next week!!!

NEXT MOVIE NIGHT IS 8/5/08 The Day the Earth Stood Still

Chicken Stiffer

CH3-GM

CH3 #1557

Chicago Hash #1557 7.28.08 @ The Atlantic

Hare(s): Just I Lean & R Tard E
Venue: The Atlantic – 5062 N. Lincoln
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite repeated denials from Iran that their uranium-enrichment program is for “peaceful purposes”. Yeah, right.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, hoof it about t 2-1/2 blocks Northwest up Lincoln to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, #81 Lawrence bus (runs every 8-11 mins) East to Lincoln/Western, schlep 2-1/2 blocks Northwest on Lincoln to bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Lawrence and Winnemac (about 2 blks West of Western). Parking is generally okay in this area on Sundays on the side streets, better to west of Lincoln.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1556.5

HASH TRASH
July 26, 2008 @ THE PARTY CENTRAL SKYDECK 933 W. Wolfram

HARES: Its Too Soft & Super Stuf’her
VIRGINS: Just Mark,
VISITORS: I Pee Freely (CAIRO, EGYPT)
HASHERS: Batteries not Included, Just I LEAN, LIFA, THE GREAT LOCHNESS COCKSTER, 2 Tickets too a Pair of Thighs, Magnetic Muff, R They Real, Salty Gash, Just Genesis, PackHer Ass, R-Tard-E, Just Chris, Calvin Klein, Odor Eater, Snathcsquatch, Just Rob, Cums On I Lean, Chicken Stiffer, Just Tony, Just Carrie

TOTAL HASHERS= 24

The Second installment of the CHICAGO HASH on the 4th SATURDAY of the Month saw 24 hashers meander over to Party Central. Some showed up at 2 pm and didn’t leave until 2 am on Sunday. We saw one new VIRGIN JUST MARK and a visitor all the way from EGPYT showed up, I Wanna PEE and he was a SCOTSMAN to boot. I was happy to see The COCKSTER here today because when ONE SCOT DRINKS all SCOTS DRINK!!! THE LESSON ALL HARES SHOULD LEARN TODAY IS NEVER UNDER AND CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU LAY TRAIL BY BICYCLE!!!!! ENOUGH SAID!!! [Editorial comment, except when your co-hare shows up like an hour before the hash!]

The pack was small at first but grew after they heard the keg had arrived the trail itself was uneventful we wandered around Wrigley Ville and Lakeview thru alleys and gangways. Usually Lifa was in the lead but a times 2 Tickets too a Pair Thighs was seen near the front. Even Our Visitor took a turn at the front of the pack. The trail was long and miserable with 90-degree heat and a SUPER STUF’her trail of 6-miles the GM was tired and ORNEREY to say the least but CALVIN KLEIN gave the hares numerous down-downs so I was happy in the end.

The Pack made it back in one piece and the circle was conducted. The hashers were allowed to sit in circle today due to the tiredness of the GM and the fact this is the JV hash. The first three down-downs went to the hares so everyone was happy. The FRB was 2 TIKS and our DFL was R-TARD-E. Since we had a keg the circle went for 1-hour and SUPER STUF’her was cooking Chicken and Bacon-wrapped sirloin steak.

Eventually the circle did close and food was served and it was good and there was much rejoicing!!! LIFA soon left to meet up with his cousin for Lake Michigan Fireworks and he got a bullhorn full of crap from us as he waited on the el-platform. Some people left for the UNDERWATER PEOPLE show at the Taste of Lincoln and others stayed back to play FLIPPY CUP. R THEY REAL played and by the end of the night she thought she was at the LA hash! Keg was killed early (always the sign of a good time and the cutting crew got some more cases from the corner liquor store for the long haul. Overall the SATURDAY HASH has been a great success and we will do it again on AUGUST 23, 2008.

NEXT MOVIE NIGHT IS 7/29/08 GRANT PARK BLUES BROTHERS!

NEXT SATURDAY HASH 8/23/08 NEAR TASTE OF GREEK TOWN!!!!

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

CH3 #1556.5

Chicago JV Hash #2 – 7.26.08 @ Party Central SkyDeck

July 22, 2008 5:07 am / itstoosoft

Hare(s): Super Stuff’Her, Batteries Not Included and It’s Too Soft
Venue: The SkyDeck @ Party Central – 933 W. Wolfram, Rooftop
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 gets you trail, more beer than you can shake a stick at, and BBQ party at the on-in. Hells bells for that price you’re lucky to get 1-1/2 beers in the Lincoln Park Green Zone on a Saturday…

Even though it’s called a JV Hash it’s being run by another one of the CH3 Varsity team Mismanagement co-captains, It’s Too Soft along with utility infielder, Super Stuff’Her. Here’s a chance to party in the heart of the Lincoln Park Green Zone on a beautiful Saturday afternoon – weather forecast is 85 and Sunny.

A-A from the Party Central Skydeck where we’ll have a keg and hash cash will include BBQ tailgate party after the circle. For those interested after the hash we’ll be heading over to the 24th Annual Taste of Lincoln Ave which is arguably Chicago’s premier Summer street festival, just two blocks straight South from Party Central.

Trail will run by the fest entrance so those wanting to can get hand stamps and pay the $7 early bird admission rather than the $10 prime time after 4pm cost. Headliner bands include:

6:00 pm – Underwater People
8:00 pm – Hello Dave

http://www.chicagoevents.com/event.cfm?eid=117

And as a further bonus if we don’t kill the keg at the hash, there will be a post-festival party along with friends from the fest back at Party Central until we do kill it.

The CHICAGO HASH will be running on the last Saturday of each month in the SUMMER (except August which is a week earlier due to the proximity to Labor Day Hash on Sunday). Many CH3 hashers have said they can not run on Monday nights when we switched so here is your chance to stretch those legs on the weekend.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to the recently re-opened Diversey stop (woo-hoo!!!), hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the Skydeck.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1556

Hash Trash
July 21, 2008, 7pm Weather Mark Tavern
HARES: Hoosier Daddy, Too Much Head
VIRGINS: Just Nick, Just Kyle, Just Terene
VISITORS: Corn Star (Tampa) but willing to learn the Chicago Way
HASHERS: Cyber Bunny Pimp, R-Tard-E, Horn-e, Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Mudsucker, Milk-My-Yak, Just Katy, Just Bill, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, Magnetic Muff, Just Brad, The Enema Canal, Just Eileen, Its Too Soft, Just Julia, International Virgin
TOTAL HASHERS – 24
The Hash braved the extremely bad elements tonight and ran in very cold 75-degree weather. Oh MY GOSH I almost had to wear my sweatpants tonight!!! The pack used the now familiar bar called he WEATHER MARK TAVERN as its starting point. Our hares for the evening were HOOSIER DADDY and TOO MUCH HEAD. They had some ideas for their trail and seemed to execute them well with a beer stop near the CHINATOWN area. Circle was completed and our virgins and newbie’s listened well because none got lost on trail like HORN-E usually does. The trail ran south and finally west and CHICKEN STIFFER seemed to be the FRB for the first half of the trail. JUST I LEAN caught him up and together they found a check just west of CHINATOWN on 26th street? Here the pack followed the CHICKEN under the Dan Ryan and ran through the alleys of numerous Chinese kitchens and restaurants, my oh my were the smells pleasant. The hares decided to be funny and doubled back.
THE ENEMA CANAL and JUST KYLE were now at the front of the pack with the CHICKEN, but only for a moment. Quickly ENEMA and CHICKEN were lost on trail and needed help from some short cutters named R-TARD-E and SNATCHSQUATCH they gave us the correct coordinates and were soon of again in search of beer.
We found that the hares seemed to help the DSL’s namely MILK-My-Yak, MudSucker, and International Virgin because the miraculously got to the front of the pack? CORN STAR also was galloping along at a good pace going further west of Chinatown.
INTERNATIONAL VIRGIN was running with her buddy JUST TERENE who she brought to the hash and we are always grateful if you bring your friends to the hash. The trail turned north and I ran with JUST NICK across a bridge but it seemed we were off trail but we say JUST KYLE running across a railroad bridge over the canal so we took the next right and found the BEER STOP. JUST I LEAN was nice enough to pull the cooler off the tracks and he even threw the GM a beer!!! The rest of the pack came in with MAGNETIC MOUTH, ITS TOO SOFT and his camera, and JUST KATY. Yes we hashed from this bar a month ago but never crossed any trail from the previous time?? We sat at the beer stop for about 15 minutes and watcher AMTRAK park their trains by moving them pack and forth over the tracks, it was sorta annoying.
We finally finished the beer and proceeded to walk or jog back to the bar. Here many hashers enjoyed the $6 burger and pint special that the place offered. The Enema Canal got the circle going and we began to hand out punishment or down-downs. FRB was JUST KYLE our DFL was CUMS ON I LEAN, and or NRB was JUST JULIA. We greeted our virgins JUST TERENE, JUST KYLE, and JUST NICK, and said hello to a new transplant CORN STAR (TAMPA). The ENEMA CANAL kept the circle going and finally stopped it with the traditional Swing LOW!!!
NEXT CHICAGO HASH IS 7/26/08 OR THIS SATURDAY!!!!
NEXT MOVIE NIGHT IS 7/29/08 GRANT PARK “BLUES BROTHERS!”
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

CH3 #1556

Hare(s):Hoosier Daddy & Too Much Head
Venue: The Weather Mark Tavern – 1503 S Michigan Ave
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite Anheuser-Busch being acquired by InBev. Budweiser is now a Belgian beer!! Live long enough you’ll see everything, I suppose.
Join as for anotherVtour of the fresh territory in the Near South Side/Soldier Field area as we return to our favorite nautical-themed bar. Any bar with brand new Laser sailboat (back in the day I used have one and sailed on Ford Lake in Ypsilanti, MI) is way cool in my book!!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Roosevelt. Hoof it over to Michigan Ave like you’re headed to a Bears game and then South on Michigan to bar just past Grace O’Malley’s diagonally across the street. You can also do the same from the above ground stops at Roosevelt for the Orange and Green Lines.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jackson, cutover to Red Line to Roosevelt. Hoof it over to Michigan Ave like you’re headed to a Bears game and then South on Michigan to bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to the bar on Michigan between 14th and 16th streets, directly East of Soldier Field.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1555

HASH TRASH
July 14 2008, 7pm Beaumont’s
HARES: Chicken Stiffer
VIRGINS: Just Shaina, Just Katy
VISITORS: Hot Lips, Return To Gender,
HASHERS: Uploader, Just Amanda, Mudsucker, Horn-e, Salty Gash, PackHer Ass, Snatch Squatch, Virtually Hung, R-Tard-E, It’s Too Soft, Magnetic Muff, One-Handed Typist, Just Eileen, @ UR Cervix, Just I Lean
TOTAL HASHERS: 20
The Weekend ended with a hash favorite THE Beaumont Bar and many hashers in rehab for the week!!! Nick, Jesus, the bartender was happy to see us again and was ready to give us numerous free pizzas and pitchers of beer!! The night was perfect for running with temperatures in 70’s, we did a quick chalk talk and the pack was away. They ran east on Armitage and quickly found a check in the Lincoln Park OZ Park, but wait the trail double backed on itself. It was funny it didn’ matter which trail the pack took because either one would lead them back across Armitage and there were falses marked all over the Park so you couldn’t run anywhere else. We did lose Return to Gender, R-Tard, and Horn-e on the first check.
Later on Return to Gender caught up with us on Larabee saying, “I should know better and never FOLLOW HORN-E!!!” Good advice for all hashers. I’m sure since Horn-E got lost it had to be a crappy trail, right?? The pack ran south on Larabee and found the trail leading into the St. MIKE’s Church area JUST AMANDA found the path through the parking lot and VIRTULLY HUNG sniffed out the trail going to the BUDDHIST temple. Eventually the pack got to the corner of Wisconsin and Sedgwick where another check slowed down the pack until UPLOADER and JUST I LEAN found marks running thru a remote gate in the corner of a park.
The trail here ran to the Lincoln Park Zoo area via Armitage. I gave JUST EILEEN and JUST KATY a quick short cut and they were back at the front of the pack quickly!!! Many hashers said they had fun running through the park and beautiful neighborhood of Old Town.
The trail began to angle back towards my house and some older hashers like VIRTUALLY HUNG picked up on this and made it quickly to the beer Stop. The Beer stop saw the whole pack together minus THE R-TARD and HORN-E wonder where they went the trail was well swept? The pack got some water and Coors Light and then they took off for the ON IN!! We go back to the bar and I ran the circle. JUST I LEAN and R-TARD-E were the FRB and FBI. DFL’s were HORN-E and R-TARD-E. We made our new virgins JUST SHAINA and JUST KATY drink their first down-down. WE sang we don’t give a fuck about the whole state of MICHIGAN to HOT LIPS. RETURN TO GENDER was our other visitor. @ UR CERVIX drank for spilling beer and being a reboot. SALTY and PACKHER ASS were thanked for all of their work on the POP weekend. Eventually we closed the circle and enjoyed free pizza!!!
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

CH3 #1555

Hare(s): Da GM, His Chicken Stiffer-ness
Venue: Da Beaumont – 2020 N. Halsted @ Armitage
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite surviving THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS of TOTALLY OFF THE HINGES HARD PARTYAGE @ PoP8 “The Ocho” – OMG ya got any game left, bring it to this hash because anyone who does all four days earns an automatic bid to the CH3 “All-Star” team. Event #4 of 4 of the Great 2008 CH3 “Quadrathalon”!!
I thought we were gonna let this date slide given the sheer carnage of The Ocho, so I have only one thing to say to His Chicken-ness – YOU’RE KILLING ME!!!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Armitage, hoof it three short blocks East to Hasted and cut North about 50 yards to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, Armitage 73 bus to Halsted, hoof it 1/2 block to da bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Armitage and Halsted. You can park in the Lincoln Park High School lot but be sure to remove your sled before 10pm or you might be paying an additional $120 hash cash to Lincoln Towing by Cabrini Green!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1554

July 13 2008, 11:30 am JUSTIN’s
Pop Hangover Hash

HARES: Lifa and R-Tard-E

VISITORS: Broken Rubber, Burning Asshole, Coppus Rejectus, Just Kellie, Hot Lips, Just Virginia, Nurse HashShit, Palms 13:15, Postaage Tramp, PMS, Pees Like a Princess, Pup Tent, Return To Gender, Ricky’s Crab Shack, Sausage Stew, Sexorcist

HASHERS: Batteries Not Included, Calvin Klein, Chicken Stiffer, Crop Duster, Its Too Soft, Just I Lean, Likes it on the Bottom, magnetic Muff, Mount Schwiiinga, Mudsucker, PackHer Ass, R-Tard-E, Salty Gash

TOTAL HASHERS: 30

The hash was really exhausted after a hard night of partying but the diehards made it to the hash the next day. 30 hashers showed up at Justin’s and Burning Asshole was chowing down on $1 taco’s!!!!
The Chalk talk was done in the traditional R-Tard-Ease language so LIFA had to interpret for us. The hash had a choice of a short trail or a long trail most took the short but HOT LIPS, RETURN TO GENDER, ITS TOO SOFT, JUST I LEAN, CROP DUSTER, SAUSAGE STEW, and I followed the long 5 mile trail done by R-TARD-E.
The Trail went East and then south running through the neighborhoods just south of Wrigley Field. R-TARD-E teased us today because he could have run by the stadium but never did! HOT LIPS, RETURN TO GENDER, CROP DUSTER and I seemed to be up a the front of the pack with ITS TOO SOFT taking numerous pictures. Eventually the pack found trail leading to the house of SCHWIIINGA where the bad keg from the night before had been properly punished and now felt like being a good little keg and gave us the fucking beer in its belly!!!
CAVLIN lead us in a uneventful circle except for the wrestling match that took place between BROKEN RUBBER and SAUSAGE STEW. You can view this if you go to the hashspace of ITS TOO SOFT. Man if that is FOREPLAY I don’t know what they do for Sex in CUM-BLOW-US. SCHWIIINGA, PACKhER ASS, SALTY and CROP DUSTER got the grill going and we had ourselves a cook out complete with burgers and dogs. The Keg eventually was killed so we went to cans. Overall this was a great way to end the hash weekend on SUNDAY and say good bye to some good friends!!

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM