Chicago Hash House Harriers – Page 118 – Every Week of the Year We Run for Beer

CH3 #1599

Chicago Hash #1599 Monday 5.18.09 @ The Spot

Hare(s): Skunk Chaser and Pied Piper
Venue: The Spot – 4437 N. Broadway
Hash Cash: $8

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Wilson, hoof it a couplea blocks South on Broadway to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Montrose, Montrose #78 bus East to Broadway, hoof it a half block North to da bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Broadway & Montrose. Parking is generally findable on the side streets but to the North and East you’re in da hood!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1598

HASH TRASH

May 11, 2009

Chicago Hash #1598
VENUE: Kelly’s Pub- LIFA’s 1,000 Hash
HARES: LIFA, Erin GO Buff
VIRGINS: Just Pablo, Just Ashley, Just Laurel
VISITORS: Pussy in Boots and Just Norma New York
HASHERS: Just Christine, R-tard-E, Snatchsquatch, Poultry F*cker, Chicken Stiffer, Ice Princess, Just Steve, Horn-e, Fistful of Pricks, Hoosier Daddy, Mouthful of Meat, Hot Pants, Just Willow, Asscapades, Shiggy Packer/Half Fag, Lower Whackoff, Cheesus, Just Job, Ginger Snatch, Just Amy, Calvin Klein, Batteries No Included, Motor Whore-a

TOTAL HASHERS – 30

The hash was free today for those that showed up to run because LIFA was willing to cover everyone’s hash cash that showed to run his shitty trail. 30 hashers showed up for this memorable LIFA run. ERIN GO BUFF was his co-hare and he had to borrow $20 from me before the hash began to pay for the beer stop. That makes it a net loss for me before I even ran of $12!! Its funny to note that even though I put out that there was free parking under the EL next to the bar that most people choose to park on the street. GINGER SNATCH and JUST AMY two latecomers were the only ones to use the free parking that night and they were then able to catch up with the pack. The hares laid this one live and the beer stop was at the house of CHEESUS where JUST ASHLEY, a virgin, lay in wait to give the pack their beer. WE gave the hares 15 minutes cranium start and they really only needed ten-minutes. While they left we conducted a short chalk talk with our 2 virgins and at the correct time the hash was out.

I stayed behind to guard bags and point latecomers like the above-mentioned GINGER and really latecomers CALVIN and BATTERIES in the right direction on trial. Back at the bar MOTOR WHOR-a showed up and we watched the beginning of what would turn out to be an awesome BLACKHAWKS game before the pack returned to conduct circle.

When the pack did return our FRB was ICE PRINCESS followed in by GINGER SNATCH as our FBI. Kevin Kelly, the owner of the place, treated the pack to a case of Berghoff beer in the back donated to the hash. We also had pitchers of beer for down-downs, which were skillful brought to the circle by HALF FAG and MOTOR WHORE-A or beer wenches for the night. We said hello to JUST NORMA and PUSS IN BOOTS, in from NY, who said they never heard so many songs before in circle. We were kept informed of the Hawks score and knew it was 3-3 after the 2nd period. LIFA was brought in numerous times for his 1000th run and shitty trail but when one hare drank all hares drank so ERIN GO BUFF drank with him. CALVIN got angry at SNATCHSQUATCH because SNATCH accused him of screwing up a song so CALVIN made SNATCH drink but CALVIN had to drink with him because when one RA drink all RA’s drink. JUST CHRISTINE who survived Polish Constitution Day made it for her 2nd hash and even has paid for Memorial Day Hash.

Some reboots that made it out today included LOWER WHACKOFF, JUST AMY, GINGER SNATCH, HOT PANTS, and CHEESUS. BATTERIES birthday is this week and she turns 21 and can finally drink legally with the hash. Finally we did get around to JUST PABLO, JUST LAUREL, and JUST ASHLEY our virgins for the night. We welcomed them and they seemed pleased with the events that took place this night. MAKE sure you sign up for the Chicago Hash #1600!!! Eventually the circle ended and most ran inside to catch the end of the hawk’s game, which we now know, ended in a 7-5 score with the Hawks winning.

After the game, a circle was reconvened with the intention of naming JUST GENESIS, HALF FAG, SHIGGY PACKER, Shiggy Shagger (in Horn-e’s write up from red dress), so many names for one hasher. CH3 hashers for the last couple of weeks have been asking to rename him because people who didn’t even know him at a Moon Hash named him, and they wanted to be involved in the naming process. He also was named due to an incident that took place on a CH3 trail so we took a quick vote from those present like ICE PRINCESS, SALTY, MOTOR, SNATCH, ASSCAPADE, CHICKEN, FISTFUL of PRICKS, MOUTHFUL of MEAT, and HOOSIER DADDY, and the vote was unanimous in favor of renaming him. JUST GENESIS was also in favor of being renamed in the CH3 hash, why he was named at the moon hash in the first place, no one knows? Suggestions of Half Fag, velicaraptor, t-rex, sideways cocksucker were suggested but ultimately JUST GENESIS is now “SCREWUNICORN to a DOLPHIN,” Good luck with that one!

Next week the hash will be at “THE SPOT” and hared by visitors PIED PIPER and SKUNK CHASER from KC. The Spot is near the corner of Broadway and Montrose.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1598

Chicago Hash #1598 Monday 5.11.09 @ Kelly’s Pub

Hare(s): Erin Go Buff & Lifa
Venue: Kelly’s Pub – 949 W. Webster Ave
Hash Cash: $8

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it two blocks South to Webster, Kelly’s is right next to the L tracks, like Party Central, except much closer.
.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, hoof it a block and half North to Fullerton, take the Fullerton #74 bus East to Sheffield, hoof it two blocks South to Webster, Kelly’s is right next to the L tracks.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to whilst dodging Chicago’s ever-increasing supply of potholes and cruise to the intersection of Sheffield and Webster. Look for whatever parking you can find tho not much is good around there. Side streets are Zone 143 Permit after 6pm. If you wish to drive you are in luck Kelly’s has parking next to the building under the el. Best way to access this is to use Sheffield if going north turn right in the alley right before you see Webster. Make a left under the EL and park your car. If you are cumming from the North Cross Webster and make an immediate left into the alley and park under the el on the left side. CARS MUST BE MOVED by MIDNIGHT!!!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1597

May 4, 2009

Chicago Hash #1597

VENUE: Red Apple
HARES: Cuma Slutra, 69-Cent Man, Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Mike, Just Margaret, Just Christine, Just Nick, Just John
VISITORS: None

HASHERS: Just Kip, Just Steve, Are They Real, Horn-e, Ice Princess, Half Fag, Asscapade, Erin Go Buff, Lifa, Motor Whore-a, Mount Schwiiiinga, Just Wotk, Just Lech, Just Walter, Just Joe, Just Joel, W’all bangher, Just Dave, Mouthful of Meat, Salty Gash, Peterbilt, Poultry F*cker, Renta Virgin, Ernest Cummingway, Bloody Thighs, Just Shania, Snatchsquatch, Fistful of Pricks

TOTAL HASHERS – 36

Today was the annual Polish Constitution Day hash. Milwaukee and Belmont were still recovering from the actually celebration of this event over the weekend when the CH3 came to this neighborhood. 69-CENT MAN, VIRGIN BANGER, and CUMA SLUTRA were our hares of record. The trail laid was a pretty familiar one if you have run this neighborhood before. We based by the major points of interest Churches, bars, houses, etc. and had to endure the markings of 69-Cent man to get to the on-in. FRB’s today were CHICKEN and LIFA but they were helped by HALF-FAG, ERIN GO BUFF, and HORN-E today thru most of the trail. Our DFL’s who didn’t see the 7 pm sharp start time were JUST DAVE and W’all BANGHER. Sounds like JUST DAVID will be leaving soon and make his way back to France. He will miss the best part of Chicago….SUMMMER! !!!

Their was nothing too memorable about trail except for the Drunk Guy in the beginning that BLOODY THIGHS stepped on or 69-CENT MAN trying to get the back of the pack to do the circle jerk portion of the trail or MOTOR WHORE-A and her Penis whistle or ASSCAPADE wearing the only none red shirt in the place or the Absence of Ruji or MOUNT SCHWIIIINGA announcing POP as June 18 or PETERBILT showing up or JUST KIP, STEVE, JOEL running the 2nd CH3 hash or SCHWIIIINGA running for more food when they were going to close the buffet or ICE PRINCESS showing up late and selling CUBS tickets for $5 or HORN-E cornering another virgin or did I say PETERBILT showing up, so actually NOTHING EVENTFUL happened at this hash, what a bummer!!

The hash shut down a little earlier than usual because the restaurant had to close by 10 pm so SNATCH, MOTOR, FISTY, POULTRY, ICE-ICE BABY and I went to relax for another beer before we went home to bed. Next week the hash returns to the lovely confines of Lincoln Park at Kelly’s Pub. ERIN go BUFF will be our hare with LIFA weather outlook looks good for running so I will see you there unless I see you at RED DRESS first!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

CH3 #1597

Chicago Hash #1597 5.4.09 @ Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple) POLISH CONSTITUTION DAY HASH

May 4, 2009 6:02 am / itstoosoft
Hare(s): 69 Cent Man, Virgin Banger, Cuma Slutra
Venue: Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple), 3121 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, 60618
Hash Cash: $13. This covers the full Polish buffet dinner, beer, tax & tip
NOTE WE ARE OUT AT 7PM SHARP (NOT THE USUAL 7:30) DUE TO THE CLOSING TIME OF THE RESTAURANT AT 10PM SO BE THERE BEFORE 7 IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH THE PACK!!!

We will depart at 7:00 sharp so that we can get back in time for the ON-IN and to enjoy their great food.

DRESS: Wear a Polish shirt (provided that it is not from a Polish beer company, as our sponsor, the Stawski Distributing Co., is brewing a new Polish beer under their own name).

DIRECTIONS: By car: From Warsaw, ND: Head east on 61st St NE toward 157th Ave NE; Turn right to merge onto I-29 S; Take exit 63A-B to merge onto I-94 E toward Minneapolis, Entering Minnesota; Take the exit on the left onto I-694 E; Take exit 58B for I-94 E toward Madison; Slight right at I-94 E
Entering Wisconsin; Continue on I-90 E, Partial toll road, Entering Illinois; Take Keeler exit; Turn left onto W. Irving Park Rd., Turn right onto N. Pulaski Rd.; Turn left onto N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.

From Panna Maria, TX: Head southwest on FM-81 toward Highway 380; Turn right at TX-123; Turn left at Farm Rd 81; Turn right at US-181; Take the ramp onto I-37 N; Take exit 133 to merge onto I-410 N; Continue on I-35 N; Slight right at I-35E N (signs for Fort Worth/ I 35W N); Take exit 428A for I-30 E toward Griffin St/ Texarkana; Keep left at the fork to continue toward I-30 E and merge onto I-30 E, Entering Arkansas; ke exit 143B to merge onto I-40 E/ US-167 N/ US-67 N toward Memphis
Continue to follow I-40 E; Take exit 277 to merge onto I-55 N toward Blytheville/ St Louis, Entering Missouri; Take exit 66A to merge onto I-57 N toward Chicago, Entering Illinois; Merge onto I-94 W; Take exit 45C for Belmont Ave toward 3200 N; Slight left at W Belmont Ave; Turn left at N. Hamlin Ave., Turn left at N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.

By CTA: Milwaukee Ave. bus (#56); or Belmont bus (#77), exit at Hamlin Ave., walk south on Hamlin Ave., then southeast on Milwaukee Ave. to restaurant.

FMI: 312-409-BEER (2337), www.chicagohash.com

On-On!
69 Cent Man

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin (just before Milwaukee) hoof it South on Hamlin to Milwaukee and turn left (SE) about 1/2 block to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont. Cut 1/2 block South to Barry and either hoof it like six blocks West to Milwaukee or hop the aforementioned Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin, as described above, if you’re in a lazy kinda mood.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to just SE of Belmont & Milwaukee. Parking is ludicrously plentiful in Avondale and you may even be able to score a space in the restaurant’s lot out back. As Milwaukee is a diagonal street, the lot is kinda oddly-shaped in a sorta trapezoidal way..

Tale of the Trail – Run to Remember 2009

Tale of Trail – Run to Remember 2009

So this morning the KGB, Happy Ass Grabber and I showed up
outside the Chicago Yacht Club and distributed the majority of a keg
of beer to the approximately 3300 participants of the Chicago Police
Departments memorial Run-To-Remember.

Seeing how this was our return to the event after not being
invited last year, I wasn’t surprised that the rest of the people
servicing the water station were a little apprehensive about the beer.
The woman who assumed command of the water stop was new to the event
and made it very clear that she was NOT a beer drinker. Nonetheless,
Happy and KG made good use of the empty water jugs laying around and
we built a formidable defense for the thirsty pack that would soon
assail us. Water Wench wasn’t pleased with our efforts as she felt we
were being far from discreet. …little did she know!

The FRB’s screamed past the 2.5K mark with no regard for refreshment;
Wankers! The next group merely chuckled at Happy’s announcement of:
“Ice cold BEER here!” then I’d guess it was the fiftieth runner to
pass by and exclaim: “hey! That really is BEER!” And turned around to
get himself a drink and the assault began. Happy and KG were passing
’em out faster than I could pour AND refill our jugs!

As we tried to re-load for the seemingly endless supply of thirsty
attackers, our Freshwater Sprite came over to stop us from shouting
“Free BEER!” and “Reward yourself for making it halfway with a nice
refreshing BEER! You’ve earned it!” some people just don’t know how to
be part of a team. Luckily, we were reaching the ‘walkers’ portion of
the race and needn’t get their attention so early, and they were much
more likely to stop and have a few beers and ask us why we weren’t
there last year. The Sergent and Captain looking types and their wives
finally shut down our Friendly Waterfront Nay-sayer when they told
her: “We love these guys! Their beverage is way better than that
tasteless stuff you’re peddling!” …the comment was made in jest,
bust the Hasher’s laugh was genuine!

After the racists/walkers finished passing by and enjoying our
refreshing BEER, the three of us selfless Hashers cleaned up the
discarded cups and stocked the remaining water jugs and said goodbye
to our faithful friend and provider of tasty, foamy, goodness. All
that was left to do was drink the remaining jugs of beer and head home
in the early afternoon!

…now does anyone have some aloe so I can relieve my sunburn? I look
like I grew up in Kentucky!

On-On!

Erin Go Buff
CH3 GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1596

April 26, 2009
Chicago Hash #1596

VENUE: Ruji’s Fufdeck
HARES: Asscapade, Happy Ass Grabber, FUJI
VIRGINS: Just Joel, Just Steve, Just Kip, Just Zach
VISITORS: Hopeless- Hong Kong
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Half-Fag, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e, Lifa, Hoosier Daddy, Fistful of Pricks, BCD, Mount Schwiiiinga, R-Tard-E, Crop Duster, Odor Eater, Ice Princess, At Ur Cervix, Batteries, Motor Whor-a, Just Sam, Calvin, Free VD, Poultry F*cker, Rotten Whore, Mud Sucker, Are they Real, Cuma Slutra, Glory Hole

TOTAL HASHERS – 33

Ruji’s Fufdeck was opened today, an event that usually marks the beginning of the summer weather in Chicago, and we got thunder Storms followed by heavy rains!! Poultry and I had a wedding to go to but we made it back for the on-in. We meet some new virgins in JUST KIP, ZACH, STEVE, and a reboot named JOEL. Calvin ran circle today and we had to run and hide once from a huge downpour that hit us for 10 minutes. MUDSUCKER and LIFA were then men on the grill and CALVIN and I had to run for another keg of beer because the hash went thru 2 kegs yet again at the hash. Most of the memorable moments happened on the roof deck that night. Flippy cup in windy conditions made many a contestant enraged at their ineptness to keep the cup down. Calvin remarked how nice it was on top of, “Ruji’s Fufdeck” ? Can you say dyslexia? ROTTEN being her usual lovely self invited a group of people up to the party that she meet on the street. Turns out these people were meter repairmen in to fix all of the broken meters in Chicago Daley says works? They drove our #’s over 40 today at this fine hash event. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK 7 PM SHARP TO RUN AT THE POLISH DAY HASH ON MONDAY MAY 4th.

CH3 #1596

Chicago Hash #1596 Sunday 4.26.09 – Party Central SkyDeck Opening Day Drinkstravaganza!

Hare(s): Fuji, Asscapades & Happy Ass Grabber
Venue: Party Central SkyDeck – 933 W Wolfram St, Rooftop.
Hash Cash: $8 Includes a keg & BBQ cookout at the on-in with views of the downtown Skyline and the lights of Wrigley Field. Outdoor Party Season is HERE!!!
Cubs will have been playing for almost a month now and the Chicago Hash House Harriers celebrates the arrival of “Summer” as we ring in the cutover to Monday nights at our last Sunday afternoon hash until October 2009! If but nothing else catch the infamous Party Central Keg Hoist in action for the first time in ‘09!

This year we combine the best of both worlds – a Happy Ass Grabber trail and Fuji keg party! It just doesn’t get much better than that!!

CALL IN SICK ON MONDAY!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Diversey, hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the SkyDeck.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the SkyDeck..

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.