The Tale of the Trail
May 30, 2009
Chicago Hash #1601
VENUE: Casa de Poultry F*cker
HARES: Just Shaina, Poultry F*cker
VIRGINS: Just Jen, Just Maggie
VISITORS: Just Lehka- Sin city, Working Member- CowTown Hash
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Fistful of Pricks, Just Terri, Just Brad, Snatchsquatch, One Handed Typist, Free VD, Motor Whore-A, Lifa, Just Steve, Shiggy Piggy Gang Bang, Stupid Man, Lochness Cockster, Two Tickets to a Pair Thighs, Magnetic Muff, Its Too Soft, More Tail, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Dirty Sanchez (Genesis), Salty Gash, Mouthful of Meat, Ice Princess, Just Jerome, R-Tard-E, Sperm Burb
TOTAL HASHERS – 32 Hashers a cat named Frisky and a dog named Zoe
The first Chicago Saturday hash this year was a smashing success. POULTRY F*CKER opened up her house and allowed 32 hashers to invade it for 5 hours much Like her Co-hare, JUST SHAINA did for us on Thanksgiving Day last year. The hash was greeted with a full keg of 312 Goose Island Beer on her back porch, which many enjoyed a beer or two from before the run commenced at 2:30 pm. The weather was the best the Chicago Hash has had this year. 78-degrees and partly sunny as opposed to partly cloudy. We had two visitors in this day from O-HI-O that were glad we had a weekend Chicago hash because they couldn’t come on Monday. Working Member was from the Cowtown hash and is good friends with Broken Rubber, Pup Tent, and Sausage Stew who visited us last year during POP. We also had Just Lehka in from Sin City, a place some of us will visit on June 19-21st to see the Sox and hash with our regional kennel in Cincinnati, OH. JUST LEHKA brought a Romanian virgin named JUST MAGGIE and WORKING MEMBER brought his sister, a virgin, JUST JEN to run with us too.
Our Hares gave a quick chalk talk and explained the marks to visitors and virgins and then after a 2-minute delay the pack was off. FREE VD, LIFA, and JUST STEVE quickly became the FRB’s of the pack and LOCHNESS COCKSTER quickly joined them at the front of the pack. Trail followed a southerly path meandering here and there until we got to Addison, where we crossed against heavy CUBS traffic going to the 3 pm game. Trail here went west to the corner of Addison and Western where there was a check. The FRB’s got caught in a circle jerk around Lane Tech HS while the back of the pack got the benefit of their trail knowledge allowing ONE HANDED TYPIST, JUST MAGGIE, JUST LEHKA, MAGNETIC MUFF, and JUST BRAD to short cut the circle and run north towards Irving Park thru the WGN studio area.
POULTRY had the back of the pack short cut the trail after FISTFUL of PRICKS lead them on a wild goose chase on a wrong trail but eventually we all made it to the Beer stop in Horner Park near Montrose. Zoe looked like she was dragging VB into the beer stop or was it the other way around? JUST SHAINA and JUST JEROME had beer and water ready for us when the pack came back together. We chatted and drank for about 15 minutes and then we were on out for the keg of 312 at POULTRY’s place. SPERM BURB followed me in and we got the keg re-tapped ready for the pack behind us. FREE VD again was one of the first to make it to the ON-IN where we meet STUPID MAN and MOUTHFUL of MEAT waiting for us.
The Hares were quickly back and JUST JEROME got on the grill cooking some delicious beer brats for us as CHICKEN got the circle going. Our FRB’s were TWO TIKS, LIFA, and FREE VD, or the human gazelle. Our DFL was FISTFUL of PRICKS and our NRB’s were STUPID and MOUTHUL of MEAT. The RA got a huge down-down for great weather and the hares got numerous down-downs for the shitty trail, great food, and bad beer? Obviously we introduced the virgins of today and JUST JEN and JUST MAGGIE did the down-down or in JUST MAGGIE’s case a down-down BJ? ICE PRINCESS was busy swearing of Mothers Milk for the rest of his life during the circle and MOTOR WHORE-A was the beer wench for the day. The food was finally cooked so we closed circle and ate brats, beer, chips, potato salad, and Caesar salad.
After dinner we finally killed the Keg and finally got over to Maifest around 8 pm in Lincoln Square where we exchanged 312 beer for Hofbrau beer for the night. Hopefully next year we will have as good a time as we did this year see you Monday at the B-day hash for Santchsquatch.