Chicago Hash House Harriers

The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 11 Jun 2010 by Horn-E

Set by Chicken Stifer from Harey Carey’s. There was a last minute change due to the original bar being closed and even I didn’t know about it until I passed Harey Carey’s and found the hash waiting outside. At least the backup bar was right across the street.
Another small pack of only thirteen, for such a nice day. And that included 2 visitors. It did turn out to be a real shitty trail, at least so it was declared in the circle. We took off to the east on Addison and did a gangway that led to a Check. Struggled a bit until Slippery Box found trail into an alley. This had us climbing over a fence and landing on slippery wet leaves. Got Muffin The Mule on that one as his ass hit the sidewalk. From here we had a T and E Split and Horn-E headed for the high fence along with Just Jody and Scrumie Seconds now from Austin. From here we headed east towards Broadway and another Check. We had to run through a gauntlet of cops pulling off some sort of bust. Hoosier Daddy, Slippery Box and Horn-E checked a block east and found nothing. Upon returning the pack was gone, but trail headed south and further east on Addison. Where we going to get to run in the beautiful Lincoln Park. Not. We headed south a block before the park and then west to another Check by Treasure Island. We had two False Trails to the south that the whole pack went off on, except Hoosier Daddy. He went north on another and we didn’t see him again until the beer stop. Muffin The Mule finally found trail to the west and then south through a parking lot, across Halsted and further east. Next Check was in an alley between Broadway and Sheffield that had the pack stuck for a while, but trail eventually went north to where those two streets meet and then headed further west. At this point our faster bimbos, Soul Taco, Poultry Fucker and Slippery Box were leading along with Muffin the Mule and they kept leading right to the beer stop. We did head north and through an alley and past Wrigley Field. A block later we were heading east again and finally to a Beer Stop in an alley behind Motor Whore A’s house where she joined us for the beer stop. From here it was a short walk back to the bar.
The hare called the pack together and held a low key circle. A few songs were heard, and we were introduced to the visitors, Scrumie Seconds and Just Jody. But after a short circle we did a quick Swing Low and settled into the food some ordered and the beer. Others on trail included Corn Star, Chippendale, Its Too Soft, Ass Capades, and Ice Princess.

The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 6 Jun 2010 by Horn-E

The trail was set from Stanley’s by two bimbos, Rotten Whore and Where’s The Sausages. Reminded me of Laurel and Hardy and their famous quote, “Well, that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into!” And this trail would be exactly that. What a mess these bimbos laid. We started with sixteen hounds. JJJJJust Jesus and Cumma Slutra came late making it 18. Horn-E led off on a quick trip down an alley to our first Split. Glory Hole was on this to the north and a Triple Split. Two split tails and two blocks and already two splits. This one led us around this park. Crop Duster almost led Horn-E off trail into the park after seeing Happy Ass Grabber head that way, but he was off on a False. And with these two bimbos, there were a lot of falsies out there. But around the park and we headed south. The ghettos beckoned. We had a Check that had us short cutting into a parking lot, only to return back to the same damn street. Damn hares. And then we headed west to Ashland and across the Expy into the hospital zone. Another Check had the suckers heading into the hospital zone and more falsies, but trail went to the east. Horn-E meanwhile went past a Falsie. Never did like falsies. To phony. Give me the real trail. And he kept going south looking for some opening so he could head east to rejoin the pack. This didn’t happen until Taylor St. Running down Taylor he finally saw Rhotan coming up a street. He was ranging from a Check. Horn-E spotted an arrow going across Taylor and Rhotan spotted a turn arrow heading east. But at the next corner, there was nothing. Another falsie? No. Suddenly Horn-E spotted an arrow in a gangway and we were off again. Chippendale quickly passed Horn-E still recovering from an attack of the gout and not running very fast. More like haf ast. Trail headed further east in the alley and Glory Hole managed to pass everyone and took the lead heading south and across Roosevelt. Happy Ass Grabber managed to pass me along here running with way to much jism while chatting with Way To Much Jism. They were joined at the hip from that point on. Everytime I saw them, they were joined at the hip and that is not exactly where I would like to be joined with Way To Much Jism and way to much jism. But I digress. We did loop back to the east and suddenly the pack was off course and Rotten Whore was saying, “Where are they going? The trail doesn’t go there,” and she was right as they soon returned and ran a big circle around this Illinois Circle soccer field and running track. Horn-E managed to short cut this and at the southern end he finally ran into our virgin of the day, JJJJJust Alfred who led for this short stretch of trail. He was brought to our little pack of hounds by his sister from the San Francisco Hash, Just Got It. Hey, I just got it. But probably not. As we emerged back at the sidewalk and street, there was a Split. Bloody Asshole was seen running back to the south. Horn-E just came from there, didn’t he? Yup! So Horn-E went over to the side walk and spotted a tiny arrow heading north. And we were off and running. After a quick red light we headed practically straight back to the Red Light district and the infamous Rotten Whore House where Way To Much Jism was giving traffic reports to the Rotten Whore House.. Here the short cutting Just Do Me Slowly was waiting and the gate was opened and beer was served. And pretzels were served, vintage stale. Finally we left for a half mile walk back to the bar.
We circled up outside in the patio and actually got through about half the circle before the neighbors complained and we had to go inside. The customers inside left due to the noise. Is it my new hearing aids or are we really always that loud. The echoes were definitely up. But circle went on and Genesis, our non running RA led us. Speaking of non runners, we had three others, Salty Gash, Its Too Soft and Fistful Of Pricks. Yes, all of them again. Yes, again. This is a running club and hashing is about trail first. This is where Its Too Soft is quietly protesting at work that, “I was at work.” But you are always welcome after if you can’t make it. In the circle we had many down downs for our two bimbo hares. Many. And then we called out our visitors, just got a bloody asshole, I mean Just Got It and Bloody Asshole. And of course Just Got It with her brother, Alfred were also called. He of the virgin type and her to demo for him the proper procedure for sucking buds, I mean suds. And he asked for a fill-up before he started. Well done. Finally the circle ended and we settled into food and drinking and the party went on and on. I finally got a ride out from Just Do Me Slowly. I’m going to remember to take advantage of them more often in the future. It is much cheaper. And Magnetic Muff and Its Too Soft also rode with us. Who else was there? Tinkle Trotsky, Corn Star, Slippery Box, Wang Chunks, and Just Ray.

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Horn-E