Category: Tale of the Trail

May 4, 2009

Chicago Hash #1597

VENUE: Red Apple
HARES: Cuma Slutra, 69-Cent Man, Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Mike, Just Margaret, Just Christine, Just Nick, Just John
VISITORS: None

HASHERS: Just Kip, Just Steve, Are They Real, Horn-e, Ice Princess, Half Fag, Asscapade, Erin Go Buff, Lifa, Motor Whore-a, Mount Schwiiiinga, Just Wotk, Just Lech, Just Walter, Just Joe, Just Joel, W’all bangher, Just Dave, Mouthful of Meat, Salty Gash, Peterbilt, Poultry F*cker, Renta Virgin, Ernest Cummingway, Bloody Thighs, Just Shania, Snatchsquatch, Fistful of Pricks

TOTAL HASHERS – 36

Today was the annual Polish Constitution Day hash. Milwaukee and Belmont were still recovering from the actually celebration of this event over the weekend when the CH3 came to this neighborhood. 69-CENT MAN, VIRGIN BANGER, and CUMA SLUTRA were our hares of record. The trail laid was a pretty familiar one if you have run this neighborhood before. We based by the major points of interest Churches, bars, houses, etc. and had to endure the markings of 69-Cent man to get to the on-in. FRB’s today were CHICKEN and LIFA but they were helped by HALF-FAG, ERIN GO BUFF, and HORN-E today thru most of the trail. Our DFL’s who didn’t see the 7 pm sharp start time were JUST DAVE and W’all BANGHER. Sounds like JUST DAVID will be leaving soon and make his way back to France. He will miss the best part of Chicago….SUMMMER! !!!

Their was nothing too memorable about trail except for the Drunk Guy in the beginning that BLOODY THIGHS stepped on or 69-CENT MAN trying to get the back of the pack to do the circle jerk portion of the trail or MOTOR WHORE-A and her Penis whistle or ASSCAPADE wearing the only none red shirt in the place or the Absence of Ruji or MOUNT SCHWIIIINGA announcing POP as June 18 or PETERBILT showing up or JUST KIP, STEVE, JOEL running the 2nd CH3 hash or SCHWIIIINGA running for more food when they were going to close the buffet or ICE PRINCESS showing up late and selling CUBS tickets for $5 or HORN-E cornering another virgin or did I say PETERBILT showing up, so actually NOTHING EVENTFUL happened at this hash, what a bummer!!

The hash shut down a little earlier than usual because the restaurant had to close by 10 pm so SNATCH, MOTOR, FISTY, POULTRY, ICE-ICE BABY and I went to relax for another beer before we went home to bed. Next week the hash returns to the lovely confines of Lincoln Park at Kelly’s Pub. ERIN go BUFF will be our hare with LIFA weather outlook looks good for running so I will see you there unless I see you at RED DRESS first!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

April 26, 2009
Chicago Hash #1596

VENUE: Ruji’s Fufdeck
HARES: Asscapade, Happy Ass Grabber, FUJI
VIRGINS: Just Joel, Just Steve, Just Kip, Just Zach
VISITORS: Hopeless- Hong Kong
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Half-Fag, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e, Lifa, Hoosier Daddy, Fistful of Pricks, BCD, Mount Schwiiiinga, R-Tard-E, Crop Duster, Odor Eater, Ice Princess, At Ur Cervix, Batteries, Motor Whor-a, Just Sam, Calvin, Free VD, Poultry F*cker, Rotten Whore, Mud Sucker, Are they Real, Cuma Slutra, Glory Hole

TOTAL HASHERS – 33

Ruji’s Fufdeck was opened today, an event that usually marks the beginning of the summer weather in Chicago, and we got thunder Storms followed by heavy rains!! Poultry and I had a wedding to go to but we made it back for the on-in. We meet some new virgins in JUST KIP, ZACH, STEVE, and a reboot named JOEL. Calvin ran circle today and we had to run and hide once from a huge downpour that hit us for 10 minutes. MUDSUCKER and LIFA were then men on the grill and CALVIN and I had to run for another keg of beer because the hash went thru 2 kegs yet again at the hash. Most of the memorable moments happened on the roof deck that night. Flippy cup in windy conditions made many a contestant enraged at their ineptness to keep the cup down. Calvin remarked how nice it was on top of, “Ruji’s Fufdeck” ? Can you say dyslexia? ROTTEN being her usual lovely self invited a group of people up to the party that she meet on the street. Turns out these people were meter repairmen in to fix all of the broken meters in Chicago Daley says works? They drove our #’s over 40 today at this fine hash event. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK 7 PM SHARP TO RUN AT THE POLISH DAY HASH ON MONDAY MAY 4th.

Chicago Hash Tale of the trail 4.19.09

April 19, 2009

Chicago Hash #1595

HARES: R-Tard-E
VIRGINS: Just David
VISITORS: Seamen in my Jeans
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Half-Fag, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e, Asscapades, Lifa, Erin Go Buff, Hoosier Daddy, KGB, Fistful of Pricks, Wall Bangher, Flying Hooters,

TOTAL HASHERS – 15

Our better is not best known Chicago hasher, R-Tard-E laid trail today. My has the young man come a long way, last year at this time he laid his infamous 54-back check and now he lays a pretty good trail on a wet and cold April day!! This cold and rainy day saw 15 hashers make their way on a 4-5 mile jaunt on the North side of Chicago including a run thru the Loyola campus and a run on its track! R-Tard-E put down some mange looking marks for chalk talk but they seemed to suffice for our visitor and virgin today because both found trail thru the course of the day.

After the chalk talk was over we took off west and some dumped their bags in CHICKENS car before we jogged on trail. LIFA and CHICKEN were the FRB’s today working together most of the time after checks and splits to find trail. Our FBI was the lovely FLYING HOOTERS today and she instrumental keeping the pack linked with the FRB’s upfront. The trail kept going west and finally there was a check by the Metra-rail that confused the pack. Some found true trail south and others west, but we all met ½ mile west realizing that part of the pack had found true trail and went the wrong way on it. HALF-FAG led us east again and North until we came to a major Check under the Red-line where the Pack came together again, before we found ourselves running thru the Loyola Campus. WALLBANGHER checked south and LIFA north but trail was found by CHICKEN and he whistled for FLYING HOOTERS to signal the pack east. The trail here ran over the Loyola track and HORN-E seemed a little confused as to which way true trail went but it finally did go back south thru the campus with SNATHCSQUATCH, HOOSIER DADDY, and FISTFUL OF PRICKS pulling up the rear? Eventually the pack made it to the beer stop behind Dominick’s across the street from the bar. We greedily accepted Busch Beer from R-TARD and stayed out of view of the security camera from the store while we drank our beer. The Hash made it back to the On-In and in the absence of our RA we let HALF-FAG lead us in circle and with his trusty cue card sidekick he led a good circle.

4/22/09 CHICAGO HASH DRINKING PRACTICE

Hashers: Erin Go Buff, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry, Fistful of Pricks, Ball Cock Dumper, Just Genesis, Salty Gash, Mouthful of Meat, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Kerri, Just Sara, Snatchsquatch, Hoosier Daddy, Mount Schwiiiinga, Asscapades

Total= 15

It was a typical turnout for drinking practice where we celebrated the B-day of Just Genesis and had some Jameson’s Cupcakes made by Salty Gash. We were disappointed with the Blackhawk’s loss so we drowned our sorrows in $2 beers and free wings. Come out next week when a possible Game 7 for the hawks could take place. See you this Sunday at casa de Fuji for 70-degree weather and kegs of beer with food for only $8!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1594

April 12, 2009

Chicago Hash #1594

HARES: Virtually Hung and Cum in My Assfault

VIRGINS:

VISITORS: Woolly- DC Hash

HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Poultry F*cker, Just Genesis, R-Tard-E, Bloody Thighs, Magnetic Muff, Super Stuf’her, Snatchsquatch, It’s too Soft, Mouthful of Meat, Horn-e, Asscapades, Porcelain God, Wrapper Snatcher, Bang Me Blow Me Get me Off, Ice Princess, Motor Whor-a, Lifa, Cuma Slutra, Erin Go Buff, Hoosier Daddy, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries Not Included, Glory Hole

TOTAL HASHERS – 28

VIRTUALLY HUNG must have been a good egg this year because the Easter Bunny didn’t hide eggs on him this year instead the great Hash bunny in the sky left him a keg of 312 in the backyard so he called a few friends together for a hash today. His partner in crime today was CUM IN MY ASSFAULT who purchased large amounts of food and ham for the traditional Easter hash at casa de Virtual. The Chicago Hash welcomed Woolly to the hash and he was happy to see the feast that he would get after the hash and CALVIN circle were over. VIRTUAL lead us in a chalk talk that was interrupted a few times by alley drivers but soon we were off running East towards the lake, our leader being JUST GENESIS. The first part of the trail saw a huge circle jerk that LIFA, CHICKEN and SUPER STUF’HER navigated to the nearby schoolyard. The trail from here ran South and East with CUMA SLUTRA, ERIN GO BUFF and LIFA playing he part of FRB’s meanwhile the back of the pack say WOOLLY and POULTRY, recovering from and injury, walking the trail. We meandered here and there until we crossed over Montrose near the lake. ASSCAPADES almost became road pizza when he challenged a tubular chariot to a game of chicken. CHICKEN found trail out of the park and he had BANG ME with him as co-FRB!!! We ran west until we hit Broadway and here the pack ran into a proverbial hash brick wall. There were false trails going west, north, and thru alleys, but we never checked around the corner which was the true trail.

The pack here lost HORN-E who went west and was really far from true trail. POULTRY and WOOLLY who walked the trail actually got to the beer stop before him this hash making him the DFL. The trail from here did go back east to the beer stop in the lakefront park that was manned by MOTOR WHOR-A and ASSFAULT with the hash flag in full flutter. SUPER STUF’HER and R-TARD-E and MAGNETIC MUFF for some reason still couldn’t find the beer stop with all of these landmarks available? The lakefront was still a bit chilly so the stop was quick and then we ran-walked back to the house. ITS TOO SOFT decided to take the CTA back to the house and even spilled out his beer in order to do it. What a major violation of hash tradition!!! Back at the house food brought by PORCELAIN GOD, WRAPPER SNATCHER, SALTY, and others was being warmed or cooked for the hungry hashers while CALVIN got the circle going in the traditional basement setting. We were even visited by Austin Powers another CO-HARE who said the trail was, “VERY SHAGADELIC!” When HORN-E asked him for his e-mail he said, “THAT’S NOT MY BAG BABY!” After the circle the hash retired to the upstairs for food but CHICKEN and SUPER STUF’HER had to run out and get another keg for the thirsty hashers.

The food was great and all hashers were now feed and watered for a whole $8 today!! Many began to play flippy cup with the new keg around and others waited for the start of the Brewers-Cub game!! Its good to see that the hash now has CUBS, SOX, and BREWERS fans in the house ready to watch a game after the circle is done. CUBS won by the way!! AND go BLACKHAWKS, first playoff game is Thursday followed by games on Saturday and Monday!! See you next week at Double Bubble for Sundays HASH!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

April 5, 2009

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail

Chicago Hash #1593

HARES: Hyper hash

VIRGINS: Just Tim, Just James

VISITORS: Picture me Naked (Las Vegas) , Butt Ugly, Commando (Munich)

HASHERS: Male Hairy, Hairy Pussy, Just Shania, Fistful of Pricks, Its Too Soft, R-Tard-E, Asscapades, Horn-e, Uploader, Soggy Deposit, Cuma Slutra, Stab’em and Slab’em, Just Genesis, Mount Schwiiinga, Erin Go Buff, Motor Whor-a, Ginger Snatch, Are They Real, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Ice Princess, International Virgin, Mudsucker, Chessus, Poultry Fucker, Chicken Stiffer

TOTAL HASHERS – 31

31-one hashers were out today to see UPLOADER. Today’s hash was suggested by ERIN GO BUFF a few weeks ago so we did a pick up hash where the hares name was drawn from a hat after the chalk talk. Our first hare for the day was CUMA SLUTRA she took off west and we only gave her a five-minute head start and then the pack took off after her. Leading the pack out was ERIN GO BUFF and LIFA along with a virgin named JUST TIM. We went by the old Polish church in buck town and west to Damen where we crossed over Armitage. Here the hare was caught by ERIN GO BUFF and CHICKEN STIFFER and ERIN became the hare. We gave him only 5 more minutes and then the pack was back on trail but JUST TIM caught the here in less then 5-minutes and we had a virgin hare. The Pack had taken a detour due to a false trail and then the pack with JUST SHANIA, MALE HARRY and others caught up to the others of the waiting pack. JUST TIM laid a nice trail until he was caught by LIFA on the train tracks, and you guessed it he became the hare. Here the rain and a little cross trail markings began to hinder our little adventure but we had been out for about one hour of running already, so we began to run back towards the bar and get out of the inclement weather.

Back at the bar we saw JUST GENESIS, HORN-E, HARRY PUSSY and others because they decided to short cut trail and just run back to the bar because they lost trail? HORN-E was not being his usual annoying self but was extra annoying because he couldn’t get a beer when he wanted. Seems the hash cash was in the GM’s car along with 7-8 hashers bags and he had to get the hash bags first so HORN-E had to wait an extra five-minutes for his beer. The bar gave us the use of a private room in back for circle, which was great since the DJ was playing some loud music up front. CALVIN who joined us ran the circle and we gave mad props to UPLOADER who returned to us after his accident. LIFA gave him a Hash shirt and a TH3 cowbell, which was cool. What was really cool was seeing UPLOADER up and walking around with an assist from a cane, which was wonderful to see.

We said Hi to our visitors from Las Vegas and Munich. PICTURE ME NAKED from LV and BUTT UGLY and COMMANDO from MUNICH brought us good tidings from their respective hashes. JUST TIM and JUST JAMES were our virgins for today and JUST TIM even tried his hand at haring for a few minutes before he was caught glad to see you at the hash gentlemen and come back next week free of chargee!!! JUST SHANIA and JUST GENESIS got their 10-run whistles and lanyards today congrats on completing your ten runs. We even saw INTERNATIONAL VIRGIN hobble into the hash today dressed up in red for Valentine’s Day? We drank the bar out of bud lite and had to drink Goose Island beer for the rest of the night but at $7 a pitcher no one was complaining, well maybe Horn-e was about something? Next week is the Easter Hash at Virtual Hungs place so eat your Easter dinner early and make it to the hash at 2 pm.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

March 29, 2009 Stocks and Blonde’s

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1592

HARES: Just Genesis and Glory Hole
VIRGINS: Just Steve
VISITORS: The Shark
HASHERS: At Your Cervix, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry Fucker, Snatchsquatch, Fistful of Pricks, Hoosier Daddy, Horn-e, Free VD, It’s Too Soft, Cuma Slutra, One Handed Typist, Lifa, Mouthful of Meat, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Erin Go Buff, Ice Princess, Motor Whor-a, R-Tard-E, Just Pamela

TOTAL HASHERS – 24

April 5, 2009

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1593

HARES: Hyper hash
VIRGINS: Just Tim, Just James
VISITORS: Picture me Naked (Las Vegas) , Butt Ugly, Commando (Munich)
HASHERS: Male Hairy, Hairy Pussy, Just Shania, Fistful of Pricks, Its Too Soft, R-Tard-E, Asscapades, Horn-e, Uploader, Soggy Deposit, Cuma Slutra, Stab’em and Slab’em, Just Genesis, Mount Schwiiinga, Erin Go Buff, Motor Whor-a, Ginger Snatch, Are They Real, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Ice Princess, International Virgin, Mudsucker, Chessus, Poultry Fucker, Chicken Stiffer

TOTAL HASHERS – 31

31-one hashers were out today to see UPLOADER. Today’s hash was suggested by ERIN GO BUFF a few weeks ago so we did a pick up hash where the hares name was drawn from a hat after the chalk talk. Our first hare for the day was CUMA SLUTRA she took off west and we only gave her a five-minute head start and then the pack took off after her. Leading the pack out was ERIN GO BUFF and LIFA along with a virgin named JUST TIM. We went by the old Polish church in buck town and west to Damen where we crossed over Armitage. Here the hare was caught by ERIN GO BUFF and CHICKEN STIFFER and ERIN became the hare. We gave him only 5 more minutes and then the pack was back on trail but JUST TIM caught the here in less then 5-minutes and we had a virgin hare. The Pack had taken a detour due to a false trail and then the pack with JUST SHANIA, MALE HARRY and others caught up to the others of the waiting pack. JUST TIM laid a nice trail until he was caught by LIFA on the train tracks, and you guessed it he became the hare. Here the rain and a little cross trail markings began to hinder our little adventure but we had been out for about one hour of running already, so we began to run back towards the bar and get out of the inclement weather.
Back at the bar we saw JUST GENESIS, HORN-E, HARRY PUSSY and others because they decided to short cut trail and just run back to the bar because they lost trail? HORN-E was not being his usual annoying self but was extra annoying because he couldn’t get a beer when he wanted. Seems the hash cash was in the GM’s car along with 7-8 hashers bags and he had to get the hash bags first so HORN-E had to wait an extra five-minutes for his beer. The bar gave us the use of a private room in back for circle, which was great since the DJ was playing some loud music up front. CALVIN who joined us ran the circle and we gave mad props to UPLOADER who returned to us after his accident. LIFA gave him a Hash shirt and a TH3 cowbell, which was cool. What was really cool was seeing UPLOADER up and walking around with an assist from a cane, which was wonderful to see.
We said Hi to our visitors from Las Vegas and Munich. PICTURE ME NAKED from LV and BUTT UGLY and COMMANDO from MUNICH brought us good tidings from their respective hashes. JUST TIM and JUST JAMES were our virgins for today and JUST TIM even tried his hand at haring for a few minutes before he was caught glad to see you at the hash gentlemen and come back next week free of chargee!!! JUST SHANIA and JUST GENESIS got their 10-run whistles and lanyards today congrats on completing your ten runs. We even saw INTERNATIONAL VIRGIN hobble into the hash today dressed up in red for Valentine’s Day? We drank the bar out of bud lite and had to drink Goose Island beer for the rest of the night but at $7 a pitcher no one was complaining, well maybe Horn-e was about something? Next week is the Easter Hash at Virtual Hungs place so eat your Easter dinner early and make it to the hash at 2 pm.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Green Dress Hash
3.13.09 – 3.15.09
Incident Report

The Chicago Hash had a glorious time in St. Louis this past weekend. The weather was great; the host was great it was all first rate. Much silliness and drunkenness ensured at the Holiday Inn Convention Center last weekend and the CH3 made their presence known. The Chicago GM needs to point out a situation that took place on the train ride back from St. Louis that calls for immediate praise and recognition of hashers going above and beyond the call of hash duty to save their fellow hashers from certain death and boredom!

Incident as witnessed by Chicken Stiffer- CH3 Co-GM on March 15, 2009 ~ 5:30 pm

Fifteen Chicago hashers were enjoying a relaxing trip back to Chicago aboard Amtrak #304 in the snack/restaurant car, (Because this is not a bar car) when roughly around 5:00 pm we were informed that the train had run out of BEER!!!! and we were quickly finishing off all of the vodka and whiskey as well. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey came up with the idea of running off the train at the next station to secure more beer at a liquor store for the hash, but if you travel Amtrak you know the train only stops for roughly 30 Seconds in small towns like Alton so this idea was shot down. Chicken Stiffer than said to no one in particular that maybe if we called a taxi company in the next town we could get someone to deliver beer to the train? Here is where praise for two hashers needs to be administered.

Mount Schwiiiinga took it a step further and with her feminine charm and guile she made contact with a man via her IPhone, we will name Bill, who ran a taxi company in Pontiac, Il. She begged and pleaded for him to bring beer to the desperate hashers on the train, but he said no he wanted to watch the Men’s College Basketball Bracket program. Did this deter Mount Schwiiinga? NO!!!! She say that LIFA was debeerating from lack of beer and that Motor Whor-a was also slipping into the first stages of Alcohol deprivation. Mount Schwiiinga in her sweet innocent voice asked if he knew of a bar close to the train station that might deliver beer to the hashers. He told her that “The Engine Room” was 30 ft from the Pontiac Station. http://www.merchant circle.com/ business/ The.Engine. Room.815- 844-5146

The next player that enters our picture deserves recognition but will remain relatively nameless. He is one of those good Samaritans of the hash that we run into. Mount Schwiiiinga places a call to the bar and gets a hold of “Jon”. She convinces him we are indeed willing to pay for a case of beer on the condition he walks that LONG 30 ft. out of the bar to the station platform where Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey will be running off the train in a blue t-shirt and gray cap to make the exchange of worthless money for the gold, cold, nectar of the Gods. Meanwhile LIFA is withering away saying it will never work, never work and soon passes out from debeeration. Jon agreed to the exchange. The conductor walks thru and says 2 minutes till Pontiac and Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey makes ready for the dash. The train pulls into the station and Cheese dashes from the train and has “Beer in 30 seconds”, not bad for a new name? and is back on the train beer in arms. A beer IV is run for LIFA and Motor Whor-a is refreshed with a cold Budweiser. Both of their ashen faces returned to the rosy pinkness of healthy hashers.
The Conductor who did see this pulled Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey aside between cars for a chat and we were sure that the Chicago Hash was going to follow the route of the Big Humpers by being thrown off the Amtrak much like they were thrown of the Megabus. Cheese returns and informs us that the conductor said, “That was pretty slick!” Instead of a Megabus of Shame we were now riding a “Train of Triumph” the 12 hashers (apostles) in the snack car began to refer to Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey by his alternate name, “Cheesus”, for only Cheesus could draw beer from a place like Pontiac, Il.
Immediately hashers were calling for an impeachment trial of Erin Go Buff so we could rename Schwiiinga as the new CH3 GM. This talk will continue at the Lions Head Pub on March 19, 2009. The very least that will occur here is that Cheesus will receive the award for “2009 Best Beer Stop”, he deserves much more for saving his fellow hashers that were in dire need of thirst. Mount Schwiiinga could use this incident to spring board into the CH3 or TH3 GM spot this year. These two hashers deserve the hashes praise and thanks for saving poor LIFA from deaths doorway.
On a side note Glory Hole found his new love on Amtrak #304. She has a bubbly personality and was traveling the train after being recently released from St. Louis General Hospital. Glory Hole slyly arranged to meet her in the passenger car away from the hashers in the snack car. There he asked for and received this young ladies phone number which he graciously got from her on her discharge papers. Later Glory Hole was seen talking to Poultry, our pharmacist, asking questions like what are Lithium, Adderall, and Prozac for because they were on the discharge papers.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-Co-GM

Feb. 1st, 4089 the year of the OX @ Paulie’s 18th and Union

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1583

HARES: Virtual Hung, Ballsalotpus, Assfault, Just Do Me Slowly
VIRGINS: Just Haley
VISITORS: Its too Soft- Waukesha hash
HASHERS: Bloody Asshole, Ball cock Dumper, R-Tard-E, Back Door Out Switch, Wrapper Snatcher, Porcelain God, Cuma Slutra, Mount Schwiiinga, Poultry F*cker, Chicken Stiffer, Just jana, Just Kelly, Crop Duster, Lifa, Bloody Thighs, Salty Gash, Just Genesis, Mouthful of Meat, Motor Whor-a, 69-cent Man, Just Sara, Asscapades, Just Rachel, Just Melinda, Interantional Virgin, Glory Hole, Virgin Banger, Anal Assault, W’ All Bangher, Mudsucker, Horn-e, Snatchsquatch, Ginger Snatch, Just Amy,

TOTAL HASHERS – 40

It was a great 30-degree day to run and our hares gave us a nice trail. VIRTUALLY HUNG just game of knee surgery on Friday so he was not up to his usual long trail. Hopefully his knees will be back to normal soon and were not damaged by his down down he did on his knees. Our other hares for today were the usual crowd of BALLSALOTPUS, ASSFAULT, and JUST DO ME SLOWLY. Beer, presents, food, and a great trail for $8 who can complain about that hash cash amount now!!!
Some hashers were late for the hash having played kickball in the morning. ITS TOO SOFT, BLOODY ASSHOLE, SALTY?, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, and others were getting their exercise early then normal today. Eventually they made it and we circled up outside. The trail ran south and I had picked correctly while others like Horn-e had chosen the false trail to the east. I was running with ASSCAPADES and CROP DUSTER until we came to the first check and here the trail wound through some dilapidated buildings and broken gl (ass) was everywhere. Maybe it was left over when Magnetic Muff kicked Ez on the ASS’s ass from the TH3 hash? I believe at this point LIFA was leading us across one of the many branches of the Chicago River; he was closely followed by MOUTHFUL of MEAT, ANAL ASSAULT, JUST KELLY and others. We got to another check on Cermack. Here CROP DUSTER and I choose correctly again and we ran south next to a train line and under a viaduct. 69-cent Man was sure the trail would hit the parade route but he was lost and disappointed because it did not.
CROP DUSTER at the next check guessed correctly and was rewarded with true trial going north after we ran between some buildings. Eventually we came back out on to Cermack and crossed over by a Walgreen’s. Our FRB today was LIFA and GLORY HOLE. There was a Chinese Lincoln town car waiting for us at the beer stop handing out rolling rock and chiang tau beer?
It started to get a little cold so VIRGIN BANGER, POULTRY, GINGER SNATCH, others and I high ox-tailed it back to the bar. BALLSALOTPUS worked it out for us to have a keg in the bar and that worked great seems like the keg lasted until 6:30 pm tonight. LIFA got the circle going and called in our FRB’s and DFL’s. We said hi to our new virgin JUST HALEY from Wicker Park I believe. SALTY GASH drank fro being a reboot from POP oh my and she even got her 30th anniversary hash tag!! We got the circle over with and then proceeded to hand out prizes for the waffle. FUJI was snapping pictures and got a good shot of IV, Motor whora, ASSCAPADE, and SNATCHSQUATCH in their pointy hats. The dinner gong was hit and the hash inhaled the fried rice and egg rolls. The hash was now watered and rested ready to watch the SUPER BOWL. See you next week when ANAL ASSAULT comes back to lay a trail for us out of the MURPHY’s BLEACHER BAR.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Feb. 1st, 4089 the year of the OX @ Paulie’s 18th and Union
Chicago Hash #1583

HARES: Virtual Hung, Ballsalotpus, Assfault, Just Do Me Slowly
VIRGINS: Just Haley
VISITORS: Its too Soft- Waukesha hash
HASHERS: Bloody Asshole, Ball cock Dumper, R-Tard-E, Back Door Out Switch, Wrapper Snatcher, Porcelain God, Cuma Slutra, Mount Schwiiinga, Poultry F*cker, Chicken Stiffer, Just jana, Just Kelly, Crop Duster, Lifa, Bloody Thighs, Salty Gash, Just Genesis, Mouthful of Meat, Motor Whor-a, 69-cent Man, Just Sara, Asscapades, Just Rachel, Just Melinda, Interantional Virgin, Glory Hole, Virgin Banger, Anal Assault, W’ All Bangher, Mudsucker, Horn-e, Snatchsquatch, Ginger Snatch, Just Amy,

TOTAL HASHERS – 40

It was a great 30-degree day to run and our hares gave us a nice trail. VIRTUALLY HUNG just game of knee surgery on Friday so he was not up to his usual long trail. Hopefully his knees will be back to normal soon and were not damaged by his down down he did on his knees. Our other hares for today were the usual crowd of BALLSALOTPUS, ASSFAULT, and JUST DO ME SLOWLY. Beer, presents, food, and a great trail for $8 who can complain about that hash cash amount now!!!

Some hashers were late for the hash having played kickball in the morning. ITS TOO SOFT, BLOODY ASSHOLE, SALTY?, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, and others were getting their exercise early then normal today. Eventually they made it and we circled up outside. The trail ran south and I had picked correctly while others like Horn-e had chosen the false trail to the east. I was running with ASSCAPADES and CROP DUSTER until we came to the first check and here the trail wound through some dilapidated buildings and broken gl (ass) was everywhere. Maybe it was left over when Magnetic Muff kicked Ez on the ASS’s ass from the TH3 hash? I believe at this point LIFA was leading us across one of the many branches of the Chicago River; he was closely followed by MOUTHFUL of MEAT, ANAL ASSAULT, JUST KELLY and others. We got to another check on Cermack. Here CROP DUSTER and I choose correctly again and we ran south next to a train line and under a viaduct. 69-cent Man was sure the trail would hit the parade route but he was lost and disappointed because it did not.

CROP DUSTER at the next check guessed correctly and was rewarded with true trial going north after we ran between some buildings. Eventually we came back out on to Cermack and crossed over by a Walgreen’s. Our FRB today was LIFA and GLORY HOLE. There was a Chinese Lincoln town car waiting for us at the beer stop handing out rolling rock and chiang tau beer?

It started to get a little cold so VIRGIN BANGER, POULTRY, GINGER SNATCH, others and I high ox-tailed it back to the bar. BALLSALOTPUS worked it out for us to have a keg in the bar and that worked great seems like the keg lasted until 6:30 pm tonight. LIFA got the circle going and called in our FRB’s and DFL’s. We said hi to our new virgin JUST HALEY from Wicker Park I believe. SALTY GASH drank fro being a reboot from POP oh my and she even got her 30th anniversary hash tag!! We got the circle over with and then proceeded to hand out prizes for the waffle. FUJI was snapping pictures and got a good shot of IV, Motor whora, ASSCAPADE, and SNATCHSQUATCH in their pointy hats. The dinner gong was hit and the hash inhaled the fried rice and egg rolls. The hash was now watered and rested ready to watch the SUPER BOWL. See you next week when ANAL ASSAULT comes back to lay a trail for us out of the MURPHY’s BLEACHERS.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM