Chicago Hash House Harriers – Page 105 – Every Week of the Year We Run for Beer

CH3 #1597

Chicago Hash #1597 5.4.09 @ Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple) POLISH CONSTITUTION DAY HASH

May 4, 2009 6:02 am / itstoosoft
Hare(s): 69 Cent Man, Virgin Banger, Cuma Slutra
Venue: Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple), 3121 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, 60618
Hash Cash: $13. This covers the full Polish buffet dinner, beer, tax & tip
NOTE WE ARE OUT AT 7PM SHARP (NOT THE USUAL 7:30) DUE TO THE CLOSING TIME OF THE RESTAURANT AT 10PM SO BE THERE BEFORE 7 IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH THE PACK!!!

We will depart at 7:00 sharp so that we can get back in time for the ON-IN and to enjoy their great food.

DRESS: Wear a Polish shirt (provided that it is not from a Polish beer company, as our sponsor, the Stawski Distributing Co., is brewing a new Polish beer under their own name).

DIRECTIONS: By car: From Warsaw, ND: Head east on 61st St NE toward 157th Ave NE; Turn right to merge onto I-29 S; Take exit 63A-B to merge onto I-94 E toward Minneapolis, Entering Minnesota; Take the exit on the left onto I-694 E; Take exit 58B for I-94 E toward Madison; Slight right at I-94 E
Entering Wisconsin; Continue on I-90 E, Partial toll road, Entering Illinois; Take Keeler exit; Turn left onto W. Irving Park Rd., Turn right onto N. Pulaski Rd.; Turn left onto N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.

From Panna Maria, TX: Head southwest on FM-81 toward Highway 380; Turn right at TX-123; Turn left at Farm Rd 81; Turn right at US-181; Take the ramp onto I-37 N; Take exit 133 to merge onto I-410 N; Continue on I-35 N; Slight right at I-35E N (signs for Fort Worth/ I 35W N); Take exit 428A for I-30 E toward Griffin St/ Texarkana; Keep left at the fork to continue toward I-30 E and merge onto I-30 E, Entering Arkansas; ke exit 143B to merge onto I-40 E/ US-167 N/ US-67 N toward Memphis
Continue to follow I-40 E; Take exit 277 to merge onto I-55 N toward Blytheville/ St Louis, Entering Missouri; Take exit 66A to merge onto I-57 N toward Chicago, Entering Illinois; Merge onto I-94 W; Take exit 45C for Belmont Ave toward 3200 N; Slight left at W Belmont Ave; Turn left at N. Hamlin Ave., Turn left at N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.

By CTA: Milwaukee Ave. bus (#56); or Belmont bus (#77), exit at Hamlin Ave., walk south on Hamlin Ave., then southeast on Milwaukee Ave. to restaurant.

FMI: 312-409-BEER (2337), www.chicagohash.com

On-On!
69 Cent Man

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin (just before Milwaukee) hoof it South on Hamlin to Milwaukee and turn left (SE) about 1/2 block to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont. Cut 1/2 block South to Barry and either hoof it like six blocks West to Milwaukee or hop the aforementioned Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin, as described above, if you’re in a lazy kinda mood.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to just SE of Belmont & Milwaukee. Parking is ludicrously plentiful in Avondale and you may even be able to score a space in the restaurant’s lot out back. As Milwaukee is a diagonal street, the lot is kinda oddly-shaped in a sorta trapezoidal way..

Tale of the Trail – Run to Remember 2009

Tale of Trail – Run to Remember 2009

So this morning the KGB, Happy Ass Grabber and I showed up
outside the Chicago Yacht Club and distributed the majority of a keg
of beer to the approximately 3300 participants of the Chicago Police
Departments memorial Run-To-Remember.

Seeing how this was our return to the event after not being
invited last year, I wasn’t surprised that the rest of the people
servicing the water station were a little apprehensive about the beer.
The woman who assumed command of the water stop was new to the event
and made it very clear that she was NOT a beer drinker. Nonetheless,
Happy and KG made good use of the empty water jugs laying around and
we built a formidable defense for the thirsty pack that would soon
assail us. Water Wench wasn’t pleased with our efforts as she felt we
were being far from discreet. …little did she know!

The FRB’s screamed past the 2.5K mark with no regard for refreshment;
Wankers! The next group merely chuckled at Happy’s announcement of:
“Ice cold BEER here!” then I’d guess it was the fiftieth runner to
pass by and exclaim: “hey! That really is BEER!” And turned around to
get himself a drink and the assault began. Happy and KG were passing
’em out faster than I could pour AND refill our jugs!

As we tried to re-load for the seemingly endless supply of thirsty
attackers, our Freshwater Sprite came over to stop us from shouting
“Free BEER!” and “Reward yourself for making it halfway with a nice
refreshing BEER! You’ve earned it!” some people just don’t know how to
be part of a team. Luckily, we were reaching the ‘walkers’ portion of
the race and needn’t get their attention so early, and they were much
more likely to stop and have a few beers and ask us why we weren’t
there last year. The Sergent and Captain looking types and their wives
finally shut down our Friendly Waterfront Nay-sayer when they told
her: “We love these guys! Their beverage is way better than that
tasteless stuff you’re peddling!” …the comment was made in jest,
bust the Hasher’s laugh was genuine!

After the racists/walkers finished passing by and enjoying our
refreshing BEER, the three of us selfless Hashers cleaned up the
discarded cups and stocked the remaining water jugs and said goodbye
to our faithful friend and provider of tasty, foamy, goodness. All
that was left to do was drink the remaining jugs of beer and head home
in the early afternoon!

…now does anyone have some aloe so I can relieve my sunburn? I look
like I grew up in Kentucky!

On-On!

Erin Go Buff
CH3 GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1596

April 26, 2009
Chicago Hash #1596

VENUE: Ruji’s Fufdeck
HARES: Asscapade, Happy Ass Grabber, FUJI
VIRGINS: Just Joel, Just Steve, Just Kip, Just Zach
VISITORS: Hopeless- Hong Kong
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Half-Fag, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e, Lifa, Hoosier Daddy, Fistful of Pricks, BCD, Mount Schwiiiinga, R-Tard-E, Crop Duster, Odor Eater, Ice Princess, At Ur Cervix, Batteries, Motor Whor-a, Just Sam, Calvin, Free VD, Poultry F*cker, Rotten Whore, Mud Sucker, Are they Real, Cuma Slutra, Glory Hole

TOTAL HASHERS – 33

Ruji’s Fufdeck was opened today, an event that usually marks the beginning of the summer weather in Chicago, and we got thunder Storms followed by heavy rains!! Poultry and I had a wedding to go to but we made it back for the on-in. We meet some new virgins in JUST KIP, ZACH, STEVE, and a reboot named JOEL. Calvin ran circle today and we had to run and hide once from a huge downpour that hit us for 10 minutes. MUDSUCKER and LIFA were then men on the grill and CALVIN and I had to run for another keg of beer because the hash went thru 2 kegs yet again at the hash. Most of the memorable moments happened on the roof deck that night. Flippy cup in windy conditions made many a contestant enraged at their ineptness to keep the cup down. Calvin remarked how nice it was on top of, “Ruji’s Fufdeck” ? Can you say dyslexia? ROTTEN being her usual lovely self invited a group of people up to the party that she meet on the street. Turns out these people were meter repairmen in to fix all of the broken meters in Chicago Daley says works? They drove our #’s over 40 today at this fine hash event. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK 7 PM SHARP TO RUN AT THE POLISH DAY HASH ON MONDAY MAY 4th.

CH3 #1596

Chicago Hash #1596 Sunday 4.26.09 – Party Central SkyDeck Opening Day Drinkstravaganza!

Hare(s): Fuji, Asscapades & Happy Ass Grabber
Venue: Party Central SkyDeck – 933 W Wolfram St, Rooftop.
Hash Cash: $8 Includes a keg & BBQ cookout at the on-in with views of the downtown Skyline and the lights of Wrigley Field. Outdoor Party Season is HERE!!!
Cubs will have been playing for almost a month now and the Chicago Hash House Harriers celebrates the arrival of “Summer” as we ring in the cutover to Monday nights at our last Sunday afternoon hash until October 2009! If but nothing else catch the infamous Party Central Keg Hoist in action for the first time in ‘09!

This year we combine the best of both worlds – a Happy Ass Grabber trail and Fuji keg party! It just doesn’t get much better than that!!

CALL IN SICK ON MONDAY!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Diversey, hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the SkyDeck.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the SkyDeck..

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1595

Chicago Hash Tale of the trail 4.19.09

April 19, 2009

Chicago Hash #1595

HARES: R-Tard-E
VIRGINS: Just David
VISITORS: Seamen in my Jeans
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Half-Fag, Snatchsquatch, Horn-e, Asscapades, Lifa, Erin Go Buff, Hoosier Daddy, KGB, Fistful of Pricks, Wall Bangher, Flying Hooters,

TOTAL HASHERS – 15

Our better is not best known Chicago hasher, R-Tard-E laid trail today. My has the young man come a long way, last year at this time he laid his infamous 54-back check and now he lays a pretty good trail on a wet and cold April day!! This cold and rainy day saw 15 hashers make their way on a 4-5 mile jaunt on the North side of Chicago including a run thru the Loyola campus and a run on its track! R-Tard-E put down some mange looking marks for chalk talk but they seemed to suffice for our visitor and virgin today because both found trail thru the course of the day.

After the chalk talk was over we took off west and some dumped their bags in CHICKENS car before we jogged on trail. LIFA and CHICKEN were the FRB’s today working together most of the time after checks and splits to find trail. Our FBI was the lovely FLYING HOOTERS today and she instrumental keeping the pack linked with the FRB’s upfront. The trail kept going west and finally there was a check by the Metra-rail that confused the pack. Some found true trail south and others west, but we all met ½ mile west realizing that part of the pack had found true trail and went the wrong way on it. HALF-FAG led us east again and North until we came to a major Check under the Red-line where the Pack came together again, before we found ourselves running thru the Loyola Campus. WALLBANGHER checked south and LIFA north but trail was found by CHICKEN and he whistled for FLYING HOOTERS to signal the pack east. The trail here ran over the Loyola track and HORN-E seemed a little confused as to which way true trail went but it finally did go back south thru the campus with SNATHCSQUATCH, HOOSIER DADDY, and FISTFUL OF PRICKS pulling up the rear? Eventually the pack made it to the beer stop behind Dominick’s across the street from the bar. We greedily accepted Busch Beer from R-TARD and stayed out of view of the security camera from the store while we drank our beer. The Hash made it back to the On-In and in the absence of our RA we let HALF-FAG lead us in circle and with his trusty cue card sidekick he led a good circle.

4/22/09 CHICAGO HASH DRINKING PRACTICE

Hashers: Erin Go Buff, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry, Fistful of Pricks, Ball Cock Dumper, Just Genesis, Salty Gash, Mouthful of Meat, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Kerri, Just Sara, Snatchsquatch, Hoosier Daddy, Mount Schwiiiinga, Asscapades

Total= 15

It was a typical turnout for drinking practice where we celebrated the B-day of Just Genesis and had some Jameson’s Cupcakes made by Salty Gash. We were disappointed with the Blackhawk’s loss so we drowned our sorrows in $2 beers and free wings. Come out next week when a possible Game 7 for the hawks could take place. See you this Sunday at casa de Fuji for 70-degree weather and kegs of beer with food for only $8!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

CH3 #1595

Chicago Hash #1595 Sunday 4/19/09 @ Double Bubble

Hare(s): R Tard E
Venue: Double Bubble – 6036 N. Broadway
Hash Cash: $8
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Thorndale, hoof it East about a block to Broadway and North on Broadway. Bar actually appears to be roughly equidistant between Thorndale and Granville.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, Foster 92 bus to Berwyn Red Line, then de-train at Thorndale, hoof it East about a block to Broadway and North on Broadway.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Broadway and Norwood. This is Edgewater so parking should be plentiful.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1594

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1594

April 12, 2009

Chicago Hash #1594

HARES: Virtually Hung and Cum in My Assfault

VIRGINS:

VISITORS: Woolly- DC Hash

HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Poultry F*cker, Just Genesis, R-Tard-E, Bloody Thighs, Magnetic Muff, Super Stuf’her, Snatchsquatch, It’s too Soft, Mouthful of Meat, Horn-e, Asscapades, Porcelain God, Wrapper Snatcher, Bang Me Blow Me Get me Off, Ice Princess, Motor Whor-a, Lifa, Cuma Slutra, Erin Go Buff, Hoosier Daddy, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries Not Included, Glory Hole

TOTAL HASHERS – 28

VIRTUALLY HUNG must have been a good egg this year because the Easter Bunny didn’t hide eggs on him this year instead the great Hash bunny in the sky left him a keg of 312 in the backyard so he called a few friends together for a hash today. His partner in crime today was CUM IN MY ASSFAULT who purchased large amounts of food and ham for the traditional Easter hash at casa de Virtual. The Chicago Hash welcomed Woolly to the hash and he was happy to see the feast that he would get after the hash and CALVIN circle were over. VIRTUAL lead us in a chalk talk that was interrupted a few times by alley drivers but soon we were off running East towards the lake, our leader being JUST GENESIS. The first part of the trail saw a huge circle jerk that LIFA, CHICKEN and SUPER STUF’HER navigated to the nearby schoolyard. The trail from here ran South and East with CUMA SLUTRA, ERIN GO BUFF and LIFA playing he part of FRB’s meanwhile the back of the pack say WOOLLY and POULTRY, recovering from and injury, walking the trail. We meandered here and there until we crossed over Montrose near the lake. ASSCAPADES almost became road pizza when he challenged a tubular chariot to a game of chicken. CHICKEN found trail out of the park and he had BANG ME with him as co-FRB!!! We ran west until we hit Broadway and here the pack ran into a proverbial hash brick wall. There were false trails going west, north, and thru alleys, but we never checked around the corner which was the true trail.

The pack here lost HORN-E who went west and was really far from true trail. POULTRY and WOOLLY who walked the trail actually got to the beer stop before him this hash making him the DFL. The trail from here did go back east to the beer stop in the lakefront park that was manned by MOTOR WHOR-A and ASSFAULT with the hash flag in full flutter. SUPER STUF’HER and R-TARD-E and MAGNETIC MUFF for some reason still couldn’t find the beer stop with all of these landmarks available? The lakefront was still a bit chilly so the stop was quick and then we ran-walked back to the house. ITS TOO SOFT decided to take the CTA back to the house and even spilled out his beer in order to do it. What a major violation of hash tradition!!! Back at the house food brought by PORCELAIN GOD, WRAPPER SNATCHER, SALTY, and others was being warmed or cooked for the hungry hashers while CALVIN got the circle going in the traditional basement setting. We were even visited by Austin Powers another CO-HARE who said the trail was, “VERY SHAGADELIC!” When HORN-E asked him for his e-mail he said, “THAT’S NOT MY BAG BABY!” After the circle the hash retired to the upstairs for food but CHICKEN and SUPER STUF’HER had to run out and get another keg for the thirsty hashers.

The food was great and all hashers were now feed and watered for a whole $8 today!! Many began to play flippy cup with the new keg around and others waited for the start of the Brewers-Cub game!! Its good to see that the hash now has CUBS, SOX, and BREWERS fans in the house ready to watch a game after the circle is done. CUBS won by the way!! AND go BLACKHAWKS, first playoff game is Thursday followed by games on Saturday and Monday!! See you next week at Double Bubble for Sundays HASH!!

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3-GM

CH3 #1594

Chicago Hash #1594 Sunday 4/12 3rd Annual Easter Hash

Hare(s): Virturally Hung and Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Casa de Virtual – 4619 N. Magnolia
Hash Cash: $8

Please come out to the 4th (I think?) Annual Easter Hash hosted by Virtually Hung and myself. We will have a keg, easter egg hunt, dinner, and an awesomely shitty trail out of Virtual’s place, 4619 N. Magnolia Ave.

We would like to make this a potluck to keep the hash cash at $8, so if you can, please bring a dish to share. You certainly don’t have to, but you could also help us out w/ non-food items. If possible, RSVP via email or on hashspace.
http://www.hashspac e.com/events/ 4th-annual- ch3-easter- hashonline casino

So far we are having:

Ham
Braised Lamb Shanks
Veggie Lasagna
Chicken Queso w/ Chips
Scandinavian Bread

Thanks,
Assfault

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Wilson, hoof it a couplea blocks West to Magnolia and 1/2 block North on Magnolia.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Montrose, CTA #78 Montrose bus to Magnolia, hoof it 1/2 block North on Magnolia.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Wilson & Magnolia. This is Uptown so parking is usually quite plentiful in that ‘hood. May not want to bring the “nice” car tho.