Category: Event & Theme Hash Runs

Memorial Day 2012

Memorial Day 2012
May 25th-28th, 2012

In celebration of its 8th year, the Chicago Hash House Harriers are pleased to announce the brand new and improved Memorial Day. In the past we’ve given you just one day of fun and debauchery, but no more. We’re going to use this extra special three day weekend to kick off all of the fun that Summer has in store for us.

Just like in year’s past we’re going to have an exceptionally shitty trail for you, some fun and games to be played at our beer stops, tasty brews to drink (Metropolitan and Half Acre will each be sponsoring a beer stop, and Goose Island is sponsoring the on-in), and an epic on-after at the history DANK Haus.

In order to keep things good and complicated, we’re giving you the special option of registering for the entire weekend for the low-low price of $55 (plus paypal fees) or for just the debauchery of Sunday for the cost of $35 (both prices are until April 23rd), then the price will go up to $65/$45 until May 14th. Anything after that and you’ll be charged $75/$55 and you’ll miss out on whatever sweet swag we’ll have for you. So be sure to rego today to ensure that you get everything.

Payment Options:

(1) Fill out the paypal form at left.

(2) Pay Snatchsquatch at your next Chicago H3 Hash.

(3) Mail a check payable to “XXXXX XXXX” along with your Hash Name, Home Hash, Shirt Size, and whether your paying for the entire weekend or just Sunday to the following address:

X. XXXX
XXXX W. Diversey Ave Unit M
Chicago, IL 60647

(4) Show up the day of the event with cash and have everyone pissed off at you.

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map Thursday – May 24th, 7pm – TH3 #444 – $8 –

As always, the Chicago Hash House Harriers invites everyone to join our sister hash, Thirstday, to start the weekend early. Your $8 will get you a shitty trail down in Lincoln Park hared by IndyScent tranny Double Fister. Remember, if you call in sick on Friday that means you can turn this three day weekend into a four day weekend.
Friday – May 25th, 7pm – Memorial Day Weekend Pre-Lube/Foofdeck Cookout – $10 –

Start off the weekend the right way with a trip to Party Central (aka Ruji’s Foofdeck). It’s Too Soft is being gracious enough to host us on his rooftop deck just step from the Diversey Brown Line stop. We’ll tap the keg(s) and fire up the grill starting at 7pm on Friday night and enjoy the weather, food, beer, and maybe each other’s company as visitors make their way into town. Who knows how late this party is going to go, but I bet there will be somebody up on that rooftop drinking all weekend long.

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map Saturday – May 26th, 12pm – Chicago H3 #1783 – $10 –
Hares: Snatchsquatch & Just Ehhh
The first of three trails that we have prepared for you this fine weekend. We’ll be doing a sweet A-B woods run starting out of Gamblers (4908 N. Pulaski). Be sure to bring your shiggy socks for this one.

Saturday – May 26th, 7pm – Rag Time H3 Memorial Day Pub Crawl – Pay As You Go –
Hares: Glitter Spitter & That Thing That Vibrates
Now that you’ve got your run in you, its time to crawl. Glitter Spitter, That Thing That Vibrates and the other ladies of Rag Time H3 will be leading us on a lovely bar crawl up Lincoln Avenue and into Lincoln Square. Your rego doesn’t cover this puppy, so be sure to bring some extra cash.

View Memorial Day 2012 Pub Crawl in a larger map

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map
Sunday – May 27th, 1pm – Chicago H3 #1784- Memorial Day 2012 – $35-$55 –
Hares: Virgin Banger & Various Co-Conspirators

And now for the big prize – we’ll be meeting up at O’Lanagan’s in Lincoln Square for a good, long trail for the runners and a nice short one for the walkers. Virgin Banger and his band of merry men know the neighborhood better than anyone, so I’ve no doubt that they’ve got an epic trail planned for us.

Your rego for the main even gets you an event tag, a swank shirt, two beer stops sponsored by local breweries (Metropolitan and Half Acre) and fun games to be played. All of this will take place before we wind up at the historic DANK Haus with an on-in sponsored by Goose Island, an epic circle RAed by Chicago Legend Calvin Klein on the patio (if it fits us this time), and delicious food. Rego early to save yourself some cash and ensure that you’ll get the giveaways.

Monday – May 28th, 2pm – HO Hash – Memorial Day Hangover – $10 –
Hares: Snatchsquatch
If you’re still alive after this epic weekend, be sure to spend your free day off of work thanks to the holiday with the Holiday Orphans (aka HO) Hash. Chicago H3 GM Snatchsquatch will be your hare on this exceptional day as Memorial Day proper falls on his birthday this year. What a treat, two shitty trails by the Chicago GM in one weekend.

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map
Coming in from out of town? Not to worry. There are plenty of options for getting to and from Chicago. You can always fly in O’Hare (ORD) or Midway (MDW), take the Amtrack in to Union Station, take the Mega Bus, or you could even carpool up with your closest hash friends.

Need crash space? Don’t worry about that either – shoot Two Girls, One Cupcake an email by 5pm on Wednesday, May 23rd and she’ll coordinate with the rest of the Chicago H3 group to set you up with the perfect crash space partner (after that you’re on your own). Let her know how many people are coming, what nights you need crash space, and if you have any specific requests. If you’d rather find your own crash space you’re also welcome to post a message either in the comments, in our Yahoo! Group, on our Facebook page, via e-mail, or over our twitter, and we’ll do our best to set you up with a welcoming hasher. If you don’t want to stay with hasher, that’s cool too – the Chicago H3 suggests finding a room at the Days Inn Lincoln Park or at the Chicago Getaway Hostel, but be advised that no group rate has been procured from these institutions.

Still not convinced? Let’s see who else is coming:

Hash Name Home Hash
Virgin Banger Chicago H3
Snatchsquatch Chicago H3
Back Door County Chicago H3
Just Lauren Chicago H3
Two Girls, One Cupcake Chicago H3
Fistful of Pricks Chicago H3
R Tard E Chicago H3
Cuma Slutra Chicago H3
Slippery Fingers Chicago H3
AssCapades Chicago H3
Taste the Rainbow Thirstday H3
Bubbles CoMoTION H3
Ginger Snatch Chicago H3
Smell This Chicago H3
Man-o-Whore Chicago H3
Rent A Virgin Chicago H3
Calvin Klein Chicago H3
Batteries Not Included Chicago H3
Just Ehhh Chicago H3
Its Too Soft Chicago H3
That Thing That Vibrates Chicago H3
Glitter Spitter Chicago H3
Just Ralph Martini Man H3
Just Marsha Martini Man H3
Just Corinne Waukesha H3
Just Brian #1 Chicago H3
Platypussy Thirstday H3
Bud Girl Dallas Urban H3 (DUHHH)
Licker Leash Thirstday H3
Five Hole Failure Thirstday H3
Dark Side of the Poon Chicago H3
Sin Calzones Chicago H3
Dr. Moreua Chicago H3
Just Juva Chicago H3
Just Ericka ???
The Dark Kunt Thirstday H3
Chunder Pussy Chicago H3
Just Brian #2 Chicago H3
Chicken Stiffer Chicago H3
Poultry Fucker Chicago H3
Mudsucker Chicago H3
Roofie Ragu Chicago H3
TampOn-TampOff Chicago H3
International Virgin HO H3
Just Jim Virgin Run!
Just Rachel Virgin Run!
Rotten Chicago H3
Ernest Cummingway Chicago H3
Just Katherine Chicago H3
Bang Me, Blow Me, Get Me Off Thirstday H3
Sax-a-ma-bone Waukesha H3
Two Hairnets Chicago H3
Drill In My Box Chicago H3
Tumbleweed of Pubes Chicago H3
Just Lexi Chicago H3
Just Cynthia Chicago H3
Salty Gash Chicago H3
Uploader Chicago H3
Cuntput IndyScent H3
Just Buddy Chicago H3
Just Kelsey Chicago H3
Just Patrick Chicago H3
Double Fister Chicago H3
Hood Whorenament Chicago H3
Barf Fly Chicago H3
Glory Hole Chicago H3
The Least Interesting Man in the World Chicago H3
Soggy Deposits Chicago H3
Cum In My Nurse Chicago H3

CH3 #1780

Chicago HHH Run #1780
Monday 5/7 – 7:00 PM
Hares: Virgin Banger, Cuma Slutra, & 69 Cent Man
Venue: Bialystok Pub – 3653 W. Diversey
Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: The Chicago Hash House Harriers will be switching back to Mondays, which means that we’re going to be doing our annual Polish Constitution Day Hash! Poland was actually the first country after the United States to adopt a democratic constitution, but the darned thing only lasted a year before the Russians showed up and made Poland their bitch. Again. Poland: getting double-teamed by Russia and Germany since 1025 AD!

From da Hares: Polish garb is acceptable in lieu of traditional haberdashery.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the 76 Diversey bus headed West and open up a book. Stay on the bus until you read Lawndale. The bar should be on the South side of the street.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the Blue Line and ride that bad boy out to the Logan Square stop. Transfer onto 76 Diversey bus headed West and chat it up with the hashers coming from Lincoln Park for the next few blocks before you get off the bus at Lawndale. The bar should be on the South side of the street.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Diversey and Lawndale.

CH3 #1777

Chicago HHH Run #1777

Sunday 4/15 – 2:00 PM

Hares: R Tard E & Dark Side of the Poon

Venue: Helen’s Two Way Lounge – 2928 W. Fullerton

View CH3 Bar Map in a larger map
Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: R Tard E returns as the hare as Chicago H3 celebrates the third annual “4/20 Hash.” This will be R Tard’s first trail since he won 2011 Trail of the Year for Anthrax X – here’s hoping that he hasn’t forgotten everything since then.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the 74 Fullerton bus and ride that sucker West until you get to Milwaukee. Entrance to the bar is on both Milwaukee and Fullerton.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the 56 Milwaukee bus and take that sucker North to Fullerton. Entrance to the bar is on both Milwaukee and Fullerton.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton and Milwaukee – there should be plenty of street parking available, so don’t worry about that.

CH3 #1776

Chicago HHH Run #1776

Saturday 4/7 – 2:00 PM

Hares: WJew-40, Little Trojan Annie, Four Score in the Back Door

Venue: Green Eye Lounge – 2403 W. Homer St

View Larger Map
Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: It’s Easter! The day we celebrate the Easter Bunny being snared on trail by a bunch of Romans! Right? Also, note the date change, as we’re moving the run over to Saturday so that all of you religious people can spend Sunday with your families.

From da Hares: Trail will be A-to-B, starting at The Green Eye (2403 W. Homer). Circle will be outdoors, weather permitting.

TThe on-in will be at my condo (2300 W. Wabansia Ave), where we will have food. We will hang out there until 6:30 or 7, and then hop on the Damen bus up to Whirly Ball (1880 W. Fullerton) for Slippery Fingers’ birthday party.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop onto the 73 Armitage Bus and ride that bad boy all the way out to Western. Exit the bus and head South – the bar is on the corner of Western and Homer, just North of the El station.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hoof your ass over to Homer and Western. If you’re especially lazy you can take the Blue Line to Western, stumble down to the street, and fall into the bar.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Homer and Western – there’s probably more parking the further you get from Western.

CH3 #1775

Chicago HHH Run #1775

Sunday 4/1 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Crop Duster

Venue: J&M Tap – 957 N. Leavitt

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: It’s April Fools Day! Holy hell this is going to suck.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the 76 Diversey Bus headed West. Ride that sucker out to Damen and transfer onto the 50 Damen Bus headed South. Hop off the bus at Augusta and hoof it West two blocks to Leavitt. Bar is just South of the corner on the East side of Leavitt.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Grab the 50 Damen Bus headed South. Hop off the bus at Augusta and hoof it West two blocks to Leavitt. Bar is just South of the corner on the East side of Leavitt.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Leavitt and Augusta. There should be parking, but since its April Fools Day you likey will never see your car again as the hares steal it and sell it for scrap.

CH3 #1774

Chicago HHH Run #1774

Sunday 3/25 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Calvin Klein

Venue: Joe’s on Weed

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: This will be our post-Shamrock Shuffle Hash. Its a little further from the course than usual, but Joe’s has typically given us a really good pitcher deal, so it’ll be worth you wankers hoofing it up there after the race.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the Red Line and ride that bitch South to North & Clyborn. Hoof it a block West to Fremont, a block South to Weed, and then another half block West to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the 72 North Ave bus headed East. Ride that sucker to Sheffield. Hoof it a block South on Sheffield and then a half block East on Weed.
From Grant Park/Shamrock Shuffle: Hoof it over to State St and hop on the Red Line heading North. Hop off the train at North & Clyborn and hoof it a block West to Fremont, a block South to Weed, and then another half block West to the bar.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Fremont and Weed, there won’t be any parking, so have fun circling the block for hours.

CH3 #1773

Chicago HHH Run #1773

Sunday 3/18 – 2:00 PM

Hares: EZ On The Ass

Venue: Helen’s Two-Way Lounge – 2928 W. Fullerton

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: It’s our St. Patrick’s Day Hash, so dust off your favorite Green Hash Shirt because we’ll be handing the keys to the hash over to our resident drunken Irish idiot, EZ On The Ass! I’ve heard he’s peeved that he didn’t win “Hash Shit” or “Bill January” last year, so be prepared for his obnoxiousness to reach previously unheard of levels!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the 74 Halsted bus and ride that sucker West to Milwaukee. The bar has entrances on both Milwaukee and Fullterson, just in case you’re extra stupid.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the 56 Milwaukee bus and ride that sucker North to Fullerton. The bar has entrances on both Milwaukee and Fullterson, just in case you’re extra stupid.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton and Milwaukee – you shouldn’t have any problems finding a place to park, but you might have to fight off some hipsters.

CH3 #1769

Chicago HHH Run #1769

Sunday 2/19 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Fistful of Pricks & International Virgin

Venue: O’Donnell’s – 4500 N. Elston

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: Who is ready for Mardi Gras, bitches? Free hash cash for whoever shows me their tits! Bring your beads and live your inhibitions at home!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the Red Line and take that sucker North to Wilson. Walk downstairs past several homeless people urinating to transfer onto the 78 Montrose Bus. Ride that sucker until you get to Montrose & Elston. After exiting the bus walk a block up Elston to the bar, which is on the Northwester corner.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the Blue Line and go towards O’Hare. At Montross transfer from the train to the 78 Montrose Bus heading East. Ride that sucker to Keeler, exit the bus, and take Keeler North up to Elston. Bar will be on the corner of Keeler and Elston.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Elston and Keeler – there’s plenty of parking out here, so you shouldn’t have to worry about that.

CH3 #1768

Chicago HHH Run #1768

Sunday 2/12 – 2:00 PM

Hares: Ass Capades & That Thing That Vibrates

Venue: Ravens – 2326 N. Clark St

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Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: Its our St. Valentine’s Day Massacre Hash! Something about love, or getting killed by the mob, perhaps. Who knows!?

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Hop on the 22 Clark Bus or 36 Broadway Bus and ride it South until you get to Fullerton. Hop out and continue South less than a block and the bar will be on the West side of the street.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Hop on the 72 North Bus and head East. Transfer over to the 22 Clark or 36 Broadway Bus heading North at North & Clark. Exit the bus at Belden and walk a half a block North and the bar will be on the West side of the street.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton and Clark. Pay out the ass for metered parking and think about how much you’ll enjoy when the 2016 Olympics come to town.