GM Erections 2012

A Very Special Message From da GM (Elections Info)

Greeting all you wankers and bimbos,
As you probably have noticed, 2011 is quickly coming to an end. Sad, I know, but all good things must come to an end. We laughed, we cried, we said our hellos, we said our goodbyes. All of that sentimental crap. With this in mind, we need to start talking about the 2012 Chicago Hash House Harriers elections.

As we discussed at the last mismanagement meeting (11/9), and which had no objections at the meeting, CH3 will be using the old “points system” that was previously used under the Chicken Stiffer regime (Boo! Hiss! Chicken Stiffer sucks!). The “point system” works as follows – you get one point for every CH3 hash that you ATTEND* and one additional point for every CH3 hash that you HARE**. That’s it.*** Very simple, actually. With that in mind, I’ve uploaded the attendance spreadsheet (as a Google Doc – if Google Docs scares you, email me and I can send you the Excel file) that I’ve been keeping since February (when our records started) and I’d like to ask that everybody take a quick look at it. I’ve tried to make it as accurate as possible, but some time people do slip through the cracks. If you feel like I’ve shortchanged you in any way, please EMAIL ME (DO NOT POST IT TO THE GROUP) and we’ll discuss it like adults – there are a number of hashes that I had to miss this year, so I know for a fact that my records aren’t 100% accurate. If I missed you at one or more hash, please know that this was in no way intentional (unless, of course, you’re continually showing up and not paying your hash cash).

Seriously, please do not come to me and debate the merits of the attendance records of other hashers, I don’t have time for that with both Anthrax and the holidays coming up. This concludes our very special message from the GM – we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.
On-On,
Snatchsquatch

* – ATTEND is defined as showing up to the hash and paying hash cash – you don’t have to run trail, you just have to pay your $8 (or $3 if you can’t drink beer).
** – HARE is defined as help out with the organization and/or execution of the hash in some way – for example, everyone involved with planning PoP, Anthrax, Memorial Day, etc are defined as a hare, even if they didn’t set the trail.
*** – These are not up for debate, if you don’t like the system, please come to mismanagement in the upcoming year and make a case for whichever system you would prefer, but understand that this issue will not be discussed at mismanagement again until after the conclusion of the upcoming election.

CH3 #1753

Come out and help 10K Tika Ho turn another year older the best way possible – by getting her drunk!

Last year, she told us to cum in our birthday suits. This year, we’re going to class it up a bit. She requests that you dress as inappropriately as possible – which clearly means dressing in the most appropriate hash attire you have – your “bedroom best”

Prepare to form a love/hate relationship with the number “10” as this is the first time 10K and 10 Dix take on a trail together.

If you’ve run any of our trails before, prepare for a shitty trail. And, since 10 Dix is haring, prepare for even shittier weather.

Oh, and as always, please invite anyone we forgot.

They are opening the bar just for us and will be playing the bears game

Hash Cash: $8
Meet at 2pm, on out at 2:30
From da Hare: It’s my birthday!
From da GM: This one is at Weeds on Weeds, NOT Joe’s on Weeds. If you don’t know the difference between these two bars yet I’m going to rename you Donnie.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Red Line and head towards the Loop. Exit at North & Clyborn. Walk South on Dayton one block and you’re there.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the 72 North Ave bus to North & Clyborn. Walk South on Dayton one block and you’re there.
Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Dayton & Weeds. Search for parking for the next three hours because there isn’t any.

CH3 #1752

Chicago HHH Run #1752
Sunday 11/6 – 2:00 PM
Hares: 69 Cent Man & ????
Venue: Four Treys – 3333 N. Damen Ave
Hash Cash: $10

From da Hare: Drinks included for only $10, with proceeds going to charity. Check out all the info of a GREAT cause to fight prostate cancer at movember.com. Special prizes for creative moustaches/costumes.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂

From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Brown Line and head to Paulina. Hop off and walk West down Roscoe to Damen. Turn South and walk a block to Henderson and you’re at the bar.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the 50 Damen bus and School – walk a block North to Henderson and you’re at the bar.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Damen and Henderson, marvel at how much parking there is in Costco Village.

CH3 #1751

Chicago HHH Run #1751

Sunday 10/30 – 2:00 PM

Hares: R Tard E, Snatchsquatch, & Fistful of Pricks

Venue: The Atlantic Bar & Grill – 5062 N. Lincoln Ave

View Larger Map
Hash Cash: $8

From da GM: It’s Halloween, bitches! Dust off those costumes one more time and join the Chicago Hash for our annual Halloween Hash. We’ll have a shitty trail, some prizes for those in costume, and other surprises for those in attendance.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Brown Line and head to Western. Hop off and jump on the Lincoln Ave bus heading North. Exit the bus just a few blocks later at Lincoln & Winnemac. The bar is on the West side of the street.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the 49 Western Ave bus North to Winnemac – hop off and walk a block West to Lincoln.

Driving 🙁 Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Lincoln and Winnemac, parking shouldn’t be too hard, but don’t park in the lot next to the bar, as you will get towed.

CH3 #1750

Chicago HHH Run #1750

Sunday 10/23 – 2:00 PM
Hares: Poultry F*cker & Soul Taco
Venue: Independence Tap – 3932 W. Irving Park Rd
Hash Cash: $8

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Red Line and head North to Sheridan, walk up to Irving Park and transfer over to the 80 Irving Park Bus. Ride the bus West to Pulaski. Exit the bus and walk back East a block. The bar is at the corner of Irving Park and Harding.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Get on the Blue Line and head towards O’Hare. Get off at Irving Park and schlep yourself a few block East. The bar is at the corner of Irving Park and Hardin.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to Irving Park and Harding. There’s a parking lot behind the bar, if you’re so inclined.

CH3 #1749

Chicago HHH Run #1749
Sunday 10/16 – 2:00 PM
Hares: Lick Her Leash & Five Hole Failure
Venue: Cove Lounge – 1750 E 55th St
Hash Cash: $8

From da Hare If you think that the bar is too far South then you need to blame your Gm – the only reason I’m haring this is because he kept bitching about how I only hared down in Hyde Park on Thirstday and that it was “too far for him to get to after work”.

From da GM This will be your last chance to rego for Anthrax X and get the $35 rate. Bring your extra cash because there’s no way you’ll remember to rego online afterwards, you drunk.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Red Line and head into the Loop. Exit at Monroe and transfer onto the 10 Museum of Science & Industry Bus OR the 6 Jackson Park Express Bus. If you took the 10, get off at the Museum of Science & Industry, walk North along Hyde Park Blvd until you get to 55th St, then head a block East. If you took the 6, get off at 55th and head a block West.

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Get on the Blue Line and head into the Loop. Exit at Monroe, walk a block East to State, and transfer onto the 10 Museum of Science & Industry Bus OR the 6 Jackson Park Express Bus. If you took the 10, get off at the Museum of Science & Industry, walk North along Hyde Park Blvd until you get to 55th St, then head a block East. If you took the 6, get off at 55th and head a block West.

You can also take the Metra or the South Shore line to the 55th-56th-57th St Station, if you know how the Metra or the South Shore actually works.

Driving 🙁
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to 55th and Everett – I have no idea if there is parking or not, so don’t blame me if there isn’t any.

Marathon Beer Stop 2011

Chicago Marathon Beer Stop

Sunday 10/09 – 9:00 AM

Venue: Approximately at Mile Marker 23 – Corner of 33rd & LaSalle St

View Larger Map
From da GM: Once again, Chicago hashers will be gathering near Mile Marker 23 (the corner of 33rd and LaSalle) to hand out beer to those crazy enough to run the Chicago Marathon. Since this is a volunteering opportunity, we’re asking everyone to bring booze and dixie cups so that we can better hand out beer to the runners. If you are coming, it is also important to remember that thanks to Chicago’s archaic laws, you cannot buy beer on Sunday until 11AM, so plan ahead and buy a case on Saturday.

If you forget to get booze beforehand, don’t worry – you’re still welcome to come and assist and hang out. The more the merrier. Signs are also strongly encouraged to show support for your fellow racist hashers. It is also strongly encouraged that you bring your hashing clothes, since a large number of us will be hopping on the Red Line and heading right to the hash. If you have any problems finding where we’ll be, just look for the following intersection, as made famous by the movie Source Code.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 🙂 From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Get on the Red Line and head towards 95th/Dan Ryan. Exit the train at 35th/Sox Park and take the 33rd St Exit (that’s away from US Cellular Field, you boneheads). Once you’re up to the street, head East on 33rd St. If you can’t find us you’re either blind or stupid.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Get on the Blue Line and head into the Loop. Transfer over to the Red Line and head towards 95th/Dan Ryan. Exit the train at 35th/Sox Park and take the 33rd St Exit (that’s away from US Cellular Field, you boneheads). Once you’re up to the street, head East on 33rd St. If you can’t find us you’re either blind or stupid.

Driving 🙁 Don’t even try it. Everything is going to be shut down for the marathon, so even if you’re able to get your car down there you’re probably going to run into a ton of parking problems.