Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1432

4/9/06 HASH TRASH for #1432

After a lively Mismanagement meeting about twenty-five harriers hit the trail set by Virgin Banger and Chicken Stiffer. They were joined on trail by honored guests PMS, Disco Ass, and Postage Tramp from the Big Hump Hash. We also welcomed Peacemaker from the London hash, ON ON visitors. After a quick circle that introduced two new marks to the hash called Eagle and Super Eagle the Harriers let out a collective groan, but started off on trail. Calvin true to the “FRB” that he is carried the flag to the front of the pack and was soon out of whistle range. The trail headed south away from the Lincoln Square neighborhood, and on Lincoln Ave., near the Jewel, the Pack got stymied by a tough check. 69 cent man called ON ON but soon tripped over the false that was marked heading south. Rearloader headed north but came back saying kind things about the fine trail that was laid by the hares. True trail was eventually found by Coffer, Tea or Me and Barks On All Fours even though they were handicapped with a baby buggy. From this point Milk My Yak assumed the position of FRB and took off down an alley. He was followed closely by the usually check hangers of Just Do me Slowly, Two Handed Stroke, CP, Cums in my Asphalt, and Eric the Red.

Soon the hash passed under Ravenswoods Advocate Hospital walkway and was on their way to the next major check on Damen and Montrose. Before they could get there they had to run through an apartment parking lot dodging garbage and verbal barbs thrown down by an irate Cardinal fan upset at the first two losses. At the next major check It’s Too Soft and Ballsalottapuss were found trying to catch the bus back to O’Lanagan’s but they were out of money so they offered to pay in Ass but EZ was no where to be found. On the trail went over the Metra line and back but it seemed that every split Virtually Hung took was a dead-end. The trail turned back south after going north along the tracks and Mudsucker was spotted again harassing young harrierettes on trail. Muff and Stroke rebuffed his advances and pushed on, sorry Mudsucker I call them as I see them. Finally the Hash found the beer stop at Virgin Bangers place where Pussy Galore, Mr. Cheesecake, Batteries not Included, and proprietor, Rent-a-Virgin were enjoying the sun and the beer. The irony of this whole twisted mess is that Peacemaker who walked the whole damn thing still beat the Cardinal fans into the beer stop this must be a bad omen for the redbirds this year.

The hash made it back to O’Lanagan’s where the circle was called and accusations were made. Our fine visitors from the Hump were made to drink early and often by RA, Calvin, So sorry for the SWEEP. The Circle questioned the absence of Horn-e and made Milk My Yak drink by proxy. Peacemaker serenaded us before he left for Mardi Gras in New Orleans, does he know it is already over??? Much drinking and singing were done and the hash seemed please by the end of the circle.

ON ON

CHICKEN STIFFER

CH3 #1432

Sunday 4/9/2006 @ 2pm
Chicago HHH Run # 1432

Hare(s): Chicken Stiffer & Virgin Banger

Venue: O’Lanagan’s – 2335 W. Montrose

Spitting distance from the Western Brown Line Stop, just South and East a couple blocks on Montrose

Note The First Mismanagement Meeting of the Chicken Stiffer Administration Will Be @ 1pm before the hash!

If you wish to air your views about The Great Hash Charity Scandal of 2006 with the “Jack Abramoff” of the hash or discuss other matters, get your butt out to O’Lanagan’s @ 1pm! You do not have to be part of current mismanagement to attend – this is a free and open forum. God bless America!

Mismanagement Notes

Important Message From the GM – Highlights from the 4/9/06 Chicago Mismanagement Meeting

Mismanagement started at 1:00 pm on Sunday and was well attend, Thank you for taking the time to show up.

Budget

We have $1100 in actual money, with a goal of turning over $1100 to the “07” GM.

Spend $300 for Hashball, $250 on recruitment, $200 T-shirts, $300 on 1469/Anthrax

Keep Hash Tax at $1/person. Collect $1200 this year in tax about $100 a month

Recruiting & Retention

Try and have recruitment hash in May or June.

Concentrate on getting Virgins back to the hash. Keep contact with VIRGINS

Hareraiser- Rearloader

Collect e-mails from Virgins to keep up personal contacts. Thanks Boner for helping.

Haberdashery- Milk My Yak

WE NEED T-SHIRTS. Too Loose has a design ready from Dude Where’s My Car. I will wait a week then proceed on my own with a design if I don’t get one from her.

Mismanagement went with the “Horn and the Water Tower “ picture found on the top of the chicagohash website for the standard back. Others have come up to me and asked if we could use the CH3 foot print found at the bottom of the website. IF YOU HAVE AN OPINION ON WHICH EMBLEM WE SHOULD USE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

POP- is on June 3, 2006. Sounds like the ladies are working hard please support them by attending this event.

MISC

FUTURE HARES PLEASE READ THIS.

Make sure your ON IN bar is offering pitcher prices of $6 or less, and the hares pay for the beer stop. This price should be easier to find on Mondays this Summer.

If you need a hash friendly bar suggestion ASK!! We will be putting together a Hash friendly bar list for our website.

The run to remember is on MAY 6 please run or volunteer to help the Chicago Police.

Contact Ballsalotapuss to help out.

Our Mission:

In order to “walk the talk” the Chicago Hash House Harriers is making publicly available via our website our general proceedings such as the mismanagement meeting (above) to endeavor to lead by example and continue to strive towards our goal of setting the gold standard among Chicago-area hashing organizations and welcome other area hashes to join us in furthering the highest fiscal, operational, and electoral standards transparency to the public.

How do we make a difference? The Chicago Hash House Harriers is committed to:

Participatory Democracy – We conduct free, open, and public elections of our GM annually. Any and all hashers in good standing are free to declare their candidacy. In addition, we conduct regular “town meeting-style” mismanagement meetings which are always publicized in advance and all are welcome to attend and have their opinions heard. You do not have to be part of Mismanagement to attend.

Operational Transparency – In all operating matters that affect the membership at large, including but not limited to internal business, finances, major initiatives, and other matters. That is why we are making our Mismanagement meeting minutes publicly available to all on the web. Some hashes have a “hash tax” to help fund “ongoing operations”. We openly publish our finances. With other area hashes, do you know if they have a hash tax? and if so where your hash tax goes? Hmmm…

The Free Marketplace of Ideas – We try and promote ALL Chicago area hashing events that we are aware of, even those that compete with our own. We strongly believe that deliberate suppression of information for self-serving purposes is completely pointless in the information age and disrespectful of the good judgment of the Chicago area hashing community at large. We want people to come to the hash of their choice (hopefully ours) because they’ve evaluated ALL the options available to them and are voting with their feet. If folks choose other hashes that’s cool also and just means we could be doing a better job of this. Freedom and democracy rock!

CH3 #1431

Sunday 4/2/2006 @ 3pm [note later start time and don’t forget to “Spring Forward” your clocks for daylight savings time!]
Chicago HHH Run # 1431
Post Shamrock Shuffle Hash

Hare(s): Sugar Nipples & Two Tickets to a Pair of Thighs

Venue: Huckleberries – 2514 W. Fullerton (2400 N just West of Western).

This hash has been moved back an hour to accommodate the post-race party. The winners of the 2005 “Worst Trail of the Year” get together to try and top last year’s “achievement”. Ya gotta check this out like you slow down when there’s a car wreck on the Edens expressway.

GM Erection Results 2006

Y’all missed a great hash ball! Here’s what I remember of the
results:

Best Picture: Crash (just kidding)

GM: Chicken Stiffer (be careful what you wish for), albeit Boner
made a suprising last minute rally. Mudsucker write-in votes were
also surprisingly not uncommon.

Best Trail: Anthr@x (I think the free t-shirts, the hazmat suits and
the on-in really helped).

Worst Trail: Sugar Nipples/2Tix – this came as a surprise to no one
in the Motion Picture Academy. This one won by the highest margin of
any voting category. Something for hares to aspire to in 2006!

Best On-In: VB’s Memorial Day (he needs to thank Boner for making
this an especially memorable Memorial Day)

FRB: Happy A$$ Grabber. We need to put Wauksha’s FRB Chain on this
man. That or a 15-yard construction dumpster.

FR Beeeatch: I believe it was Flying Hooters

DFL: Red Snapper? I think she is still trying to qualify for Boston.

Nonrunner: Peterbilt (but the Michelin Guide and Zagat’s give his
trails five stars each)

Bimbo: Too close to call, 2 Handed Stroke? Literally last count
these bimbos were separated by like two votes total

Wanker: scion of Chicago law enforcement, EZ On The A$$

Hash$hit: I think Meister for the shoes dealio

Hash Couple: Boner/Muff (like this was ever in doubt? Altho Mount
Me/Coffee gave them a surprisingly good run for their money)

Bill January: Boner (complete with engraved plaque). He already has
started his 2007 GM campaign with a large donation from Jack
Abramoff.

I was drinking a bit that night so feel free to post corrections.
Recently escaped ex-GM TooLoose has the official list.

Party on on,

ITS

Hash Ball 2006

Let’s Go To The Hop! (Chicago Hash Ball 2006)

Saturday, March 4, 8:00pm

Zephyr Cafe – 1777 W. Wilson, Chicago, IL

Rock and roll will never die! Slick back your hair, break out your saddle shoes, poodle skirts, and black leather jackets and join us at a new venue for the 2006 edition of Chicago’s Hash Ball! Dress in hash formal or your favorite fashions from the FABULOUS FIFTIES! We’ll dance, drink, dine and announce this year’s hash awards and GM election results. Wine and beer will be provided all night, and a cash bar will be available for post-dinner cocktails.

$30 until Feb. 12, $35 Feb. 13 to 26, or $40 after that. You can PayPal (including credit cards) Red Snapper (Amy Kozy) at [email protected], or pay cash to Snapper or Too Loose to Screw. Add $1.50 per person when you use PayPal.

You can swing it you can groove it
You can really start to move it at the hop
Where the jockey is the smoothest
And the music is the coolest at the hop.
All the cats and chicks can get their kicks at the hop.
Let’s go!

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