CH3 #1564

Chicago Hash #1564 – 9.15.08 @ The Levee – Mexican Independence Day Hash

Hare(s): $0.69 Man & Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Levee – 4035 W. Fullerton Ave., Chicago, IL 60639.
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite the Cubs’ typical “June Swoon” finally showing up in September!

Celebrate Mexican Independence Day. This is the major Mexican Holiday (and not Cinco de Mayo). The custom for this holiday is that on the night of the 15th, in addition to drinking/singing/drinking/dancing/drinking, there is this Grito (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grito_de_Dolores) ceremony, where the politician in charge hollers “Viva” (long live) and a series of names of people who are long dead, and the crowd answers “VIVA.” The RA will be given the script.

DRESS: In honor of the holiday, in lieu of hash attire, hashers are encouraged to wear something traditionally Mexican, such as sombreros, serapes, futbol shirts, luchadore masks, black hoodies, etc.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE (1 block west of Pulaski) by the Metra Station South side of Fullerton.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, hoof it a couplea blocks Northwest on Milwaukee to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton & KEYSTONE. I have never been there before but suspect parking should be rather okay.

CH3 #1563

Chicago Hash #1563 – 9.8.08 @ The Beaumont!

Hare(s): Just I Lean & Comes on I Lean
Venue: The Beaumont – 2020 N. Halsted
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite Hurricane Gustav being the biggest flop since Heaven’s Gate. Don’t worry tho, Hannah is coming.

What can we say… back to the GREEN ZONE and bar where more often than not we can’t drink all the hash cash!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Armitage, hoof it three short blocks East to Hasted and cut North about 50 yards to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, Armitage 73 bus to Halsted, hoof it 1/2 block to da bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Armitage and Halsted. You can park in the Lincoln Park High School lot but be sure to remove your sled before 10pm or you might be paying an additional $120 hash cash to Lincoln Towing by Cabrini Green!

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1562

Hash Trash Chicago #1562
4th Annual Labor Day Hash @ Party Central SkyDeck

Hares: The CH3 Hare Triumvirate – It’s Too Soft (Lincoln Park Party Dude Extraordinaire), Lifa (CH3 Master Hare Level VII) and Just I Lean (CH3 Hare Rookie of the Year)

Hashers: Are They Real, Batteries Not Included, Calvin Klein, Cunt & Pasties, Cums On I Lean, Enema Canal, Free VD, Ginger Snatch, Grrreat Loch Ness Cockster, Happy Ass Grabber, Hoosier Daddy, I Like Dick, Just Brad, Just Chris, Just Joel, Just Joy, Just Nate, Just Rob, Magnetic Muff, Moan On Trail, Mudsucker, Odor Eater, Packher Ass, R Tard E, Rent-a-Virgin, Snatch Squatch, Special Head, Virgin Banger

Visitors: Davey Crochet (Atlanta), Choo Choo Caboose (Atlanta), Cookie Cumster (Waukesha), Drop Dead Hummer (Big Hump), Just Tim (Big Hump), Just Virginia (Madison), Return to Gender (Madison), Smell This (New York)

Chicago Hashers = 31
Visitors = 8
Total = 39!!

Absolutely perfect weather conspired to ruin what would have been an otherwise okay hash as the expected 20-25 die hards (we had 33 last year) swelled to 39 which like totally blew out our keg and Party Central had to dig into the backup food reserves, but I digress.

We started out with 26 die hards who made it out to Party Central to savor the glory of a freshly-tapped half barrel of Miller High Life before the hash started. What was intended to be entertainment for our locals has apparently turned into a visitor event too as we had NINE visitors show up for this, and not just random visitors in town for something else but peeps that wanted to come to this hash!

The first to show up were my co-hares Lifa and Just I Lean just after 11am. After a lively discussion about where to run trail and have a beer stop they headed out to lay Labor Day IV. I stayed back at Party Central to setup for the epic partyage that was to cum. The first non-hare to show was R Tard E who arrived just after 12:30 and helped with the keg run to Sam’s. Then arrived our visitors from Big Hump Drop Dead Hummer and Just Tim who drove five hours to catch CH3 Labor Day IV got to help out too and witness the Party Central Keg Hoist in action.

Soon other hashers started to filter in and the keg was tapped. Just when ya thought it was gonna stay sane, more visitors started showing up too. We had Party Central die hard Davey Crochet and his wingman Just Tim in from Atlanta. Then my good buddy and frequent CH3 event crasher at Party Central, Return to Gender and his sidekick Just Virginia rolled in from Madison. Lastly to my great surprise one of my favorite Waukesha hashers, Cookie Cumster showed up with her Chicago friend Just Joy.

After a quick chalk talk where we once again busted out the PPC bullhorn followed by a lightining round of introductions, the pack headed out East on my alley towards the lakefront and Lincoln Park, da actual park, not da hood. Things were going well as the pack enjoyed a scenic tour down the lakefront in the park until those incorrigible scoundrels from the dreaded Thirstday Hash hijacked the trail 15 feet off of the bike path and had an impromptu vodka pink lemonade stop to promote their upcoming Pink Dress Run. On a hot summer day the lemonade was greatly appreciated however I think the “trace levels” of vodka that it was spiked with were well below the EPA-allowable limit for vodka in drinking water from Lake Michigan, measurable only in parts per billion.

The pack then headed back on trail and got to the official CH3 beer stop in Oz Park by Lincoln Park High School where Ginger Snatch caught up with us to enjoy the greatness of Busch in cans. For some reason Calvin Klein remained MIA despite extensive marking and sweeping by the hares. This is not good because when you lose the RA on trail you know the hares will be punished with a veritable hailstorm of down-downs!

After that it was back to the Party Central SkyDeck with a straight shot North (Lifa pretty much acknowleged that anything other than straight back will be ignored by the pack).

Once back Calvin led another one of his great circles where the hares had enough down downs to fell a small elephant. We were joined by a slew of unexpected nonrunners (on top of the unexpected visitors) like Smell This & Cunt & Pasties, Mudsucker, Virgin Banger & Rent-a-Virgin, and even Indiana transplant Moan on Trail and her new roomie Just Chris.

After the circle, the pack was unleashed on the Party Central board of fare which included grilled lemon pepper marinade chicken breast bruchetta, barbecued marinade shrimp (yes Aussie fans, we had “shrimp on the barbie”), Italian pasta salad (thanks to Packer Ass), the infamous Fuji ultra-garlic carbo-load mostaccoli, and other snacks including Batteries’ spectacular artichoke dip. The pack was ravenous and all the food disappeared pretty much as soon as it was put out. Mad props to R Tard E for yet another great performance as grille master.

Due to the unexpectedly high turnout the keg was killed right as the circle was ending and Happy Ass Grabber stepped up to do a beer run coming back with four more 30 packs of the good stuff to keep the party going. After many rounds of flippy cup racing the pack consumed all the replacement beer and everyone headed back home, in good spirits.

Next year, if the weather is nice, I will learn my lesson and get TWO KEGS for 5th Annual Labor Hash in 2009!

In the meantime, a really fun campout hash is coming in two weeks, Indiana Intrahash in West Lafayette (only two hours South of Chicago!). http://www.indyhhh.com/intrahash.php

Party on on,
Fuji
Consigliere, Hash Flash, Web Dude and Chief Sarcasm Officer
THE Chicago Hash House Harriers

CH3 #1562

Chicago Hash #1562 8.31.08 @ Party Central SkyDeck – 4th Annual Labor Day Hash

Hare(s): The CH3 Hare Triumvirate – It’s Too Soft (Lincoln Park Party Dude Extraordinaire), Lifa (CH3 Master Hare Level VII) and Just I Lean (CH3 Hare Rookie of the Year)

Venue: Party Central SkyDeck – 933 W Wolfram St, rooftop (go up the back stairs) just Northeast of the brand spankin’ new Diversey Brown Line station.

Hash Cash: Still only $8 gets you more beer than you can shake a stick at, Labor Day BBQ cookout at the on in, some of the best urban shiggy trail to be found in the Green Zone aka Beverly Hills 60614, and lotsa Trixie/Chad sightings as you can never get enough “eye candy” on trail!
The Weather Gods are fixin’ to smile upon us again as the forecast for Sunday is 81 DEGREES AND SUNNY!!!

OMG where did Summer 2008 go? It’s been one massive blur of sun & fun, running, and more importantly, BEER but a great one!

To mark the last days of Summer 2008 we are holding our own version of “Closing Ceremonies” not in Beijing but right here in THE Chicago Hash House Harrier’s very own “Bird’s Nest Stadium”, the SkyDeck at Party Central!

Just like we do every year for Memorial Day and Labor Day, we move the regular hash to Sunday to allow the holiday Monday for recovery time!!!

Your hares promise spectacular trail and beautiful weather here in the heart of the Lincoln Park “Green Zone” and a blowout postparty that will involve serious grilled foodstuffs and keg(s) on the SkyDeck! While not historically as much of a “foody affair” as Memorial Day, Labor Day Hash has devolved over the years into more of a totally off-the-hinges Category Five Drinkstravaganza! However the food will still be good as always and we might even toss a few shrimp on the barbie.

Given that only 17 people blew out my keg at JV Hash #2 on the Skydeck this one could set more drinking World Records than Michael Phelps!

And who knows, we might even do an impromptu Summer Outdoor Movie night on the SkyDeck after the hash as the HD projector and 110″ diagonal screen just might be “available” and as always, out-of-towners (as well as hot local chicks) are always welcome to crash at Party Central as hotels in Chicago ain’t cheep. And now thanks to the Sony Outlet in Kenosha, Party Central is now equipped with Blu-Ray HD technology too!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to the recently re-opened Diversey stop (woo-hoo!!!), hoof it 1/2 block North up Sheffield and right (East) into the alley before Wolfram. Cross under the L tracks and into the first driveway to your left after the big fenced parking lot next to the tracks. Go up the back porch stairs to the Skydeck.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square. Hoof it a couplea blocks North to Diversey and take the Diversey #76 bus East to Sheffield.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Side streets are resident zone permit after 6pm so best bet is Sheffield South of Diversey or Diversey West of Sheffield. Many meters in this ’hood are 9pm or Sunday check your meter before parking your precious sled.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1559

August 11, 2008 Stocks and Blondes 40 N. Welles St.

HARES: Crop Duster, Just Julia (Ginger Snatch)
VIRGINS: Just Rankin, Just Carly,
VISITORS: Boner Malfunction (JAX), Chip-n-Dale (Denver)
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, The Porcelain God, Milk My Yak, Uploader, Barks on all Fours, Just Ashley, Just Carrie, Just Katie, Just Eileen, Magnetic Muff, Just Nick, 69-cent Man, Just Bill, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Shaina, Just Amanda (Poultry F*****), Its too Soft, Hoosier Daddy, Cums on I Lean, Just John (Free VD) Snatchsquatch, Horn-E, Odor Eater, Mudsucker, Just I Lean.

TOTAL HASHERS= 31

Last time I was at this bar was for a beer stop and we took over the bar for the 20 minutes we were there. Today was no different!!! The hares CROP DUSTER and JUST JULIA cleared the hash with the owner and we had $6 pitchers and they even reserved an area of the bar for us to use, Nice Job!!! WRAPPER SNATCHER and PORECELAIN GOD played the part of bag watchers in the bar because PORCELAIN currently has a lame foot and WRAPPER needed to play nurse to him. Tonight the hash saw another 30+ hashers show up and even a few from the bungle in the jungle weekend showed. JUST JULIA and CROP gave us a chalk talk and we were off!! The trail was awesome tonight a quote from JUST AMANDA. The hares lead us thru the scenic areas of downtown and then had a beer stop on the Chicago River. The first part of the trail ran north and UPLOADER, CHIP-N-DALE, and HORN-E seemed to be the leaders that I followed. The trail crossed the Chicago River and ran under Lower Whacker. Most of the pack seemed to be a little confused here because most did not cross the river but ran east along the river with HORN-E. JUST JOHN and I came up from lower Whacker and were on Michigan Avenue. The trail here ran behind a building and then back west. The hares set a check just east of Michigan and Randolph that most of the pack missed, truthfully the pack followed JUST JOHN and I thinking we were on and JUST NICK even called on when he saw a mark but he wasn’t because it was after a check. The pack really got messed up and people like BONER MALFUNCTION, JUST KATIE and others gave up because of the confusion and went back to the bar. It is unfortunate because the rest of the trail ran thru Millennium Park and over the winding bridge. JUST JOHN and I went back to the check and found true trail going SW and found the arrows pointing into the park. The hares did a great job sweeping, I know because on Tuesday before movie night in Grant Park I checked the trail and it was marked well. Just John and I soon heard HORN-E blowing in the park and he and I found trail going west on Adams and then thru the Finical district. Here it crossed the river again by Union Station and even ran thru the train station. JUST JOHN almost caught an AMTRAK to St. Louis this night or so he claims. The trail ran back over the river and the beer stop was in a park next to the river. It was fun seeing the back half of the pack cross the river twice before the made it to the beer stop. JUST SHAINA, JUST AMANDA, ITS TOO SOFT, MAGNETIC MUFF, MUDSUCKER, HORN-E, UPLOADER, 69-cent MAN should be commended for locating true trail tonight. We had BUD and BUD light at the stop and waited for the other half of the pack that never showed.
Back at the BAR JUST NICK, JUST ASHLEY, JUST CARLY and others were drinking and watching Mike Phelps win his gold medals. We got back and started the circle. Our FRB’s were HORN-E and I. Our DFL’s were those that never made it to the beer stop. JUST SHAINA and Beer mistress JUST AMANDA had a down down for talking about Mr. Phelps body in the circle. BONER and CHIP were our visitors for the day. JUST ASHLEY drank for finally drinking legally in our circle because last time she came and drank she was only 20 and with her mom, JUST LORI. Our virgins JUST CARLY and JUST RANKIN had a great time and we now they shall return. Our NRB’s were SNATCHSQUATCH, HOOSIER DADDY, JUST I LEAN, CUMS ON I LEAN, WRAPPER SNATCHER, and PORCELAIN GOD. ITS TOO SOFT was our rep from the Bungle in the Jungle party along with BONER. The circle was soon closed but we did reopen it to name some people. JUST JOHN is now “FREE VD”�, JUST JULIA is now “GINGER SNATCH”, and JUST AMANDA is now “POULTRY FUCKER” go figure.
The next day 10 hashers POULTRY F******, JUST I LEAN, JUST BILL, CUMS on I LEAN, SUPER STUF’HER, MOUTHFUL, CHICKEN STIFFER, ANAL ASSAULT, and W’ALL BANGHER, and JUST BELLA watcher “A TOUCH OF EVIL”� at movies in the park!!!

SEE YOU NEXT MONDAY OR SATURDAY at ITS TOO SOFT roof deck party at 9 pm 933 W. WOLFRAM!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1558

August 4, 2008 Marlins at Pershing and Harlem LYONS,IL

HARES: HUNKA HUNKA BURNING SHIT, FUCKKO THE CLOWN
VIRGINS: Just Jerry, Just Terry, Just Billy, Just Tom
VISITORS: Golden Eagle (Vegas), Davey Crotch Itch (Shit), Nappy Headed Ho (DC)
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, The Porcelain God, Happy Ass Grabber, MudSucker, Calvin Klein, Horn-e, Rhotan, Dicken Cider, Odor Eater, Rotten Whore, Milk My Yak, Barks on All Fours,


TOTAL HASHERS – 22

This is the second time the CHICAGO HASH has used this venue. The last time was POP in “2005”, and just like that day the skies opened up upon us and the wrath of MOTHER NATURE was taken out upon the trial and hashers. The last time at POP I can remember HAPPY ASS GRABBER as a neophyte hasher and SUGAR NIPPLES dancing in the lightening and rain on Marlins patio. If you do not believe me look at the pictures.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?Uc=kuxb1a3.cmy9hj9v&Uy=3rqpw6&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=426731658049_325614533603&mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1

The Chicago hash had invaded SECOND CITY TERRITORY again and storm clouds were waiting for us!!! HUNKA and FUCKKO were blessed by CALVIN KLEIN our RA and they were off setting trail. GOLDEN EAGLE gave the chalk talk and explained to our virgins and regular Chicago hashers what the marks meant and we did a quick Father Abraham and were off. Well Some of us were off. THE PORCELAIN GOD, DICKIN CIDER, and I stayed behind the first two because of injuries the last because I was the smart one. MILK MY YAK and BARKS ON ALL FOURS went out and soon fifteen minutes later they were back. The Skies out west were black and rain was immient. We enjoyed steaks and burgers at the bar while those hashers tried to navigate the trail. The rains soon hit and it was “BIG FAT RAIN” as Forest Gump might say and still the hashers stayed out there. WE came to find out later that The two GM’s HORN-E and HAPPY were curled up together in a fetal position on someones porch trying to protect themselves from Mother Natures fury. CALVIN’s quote of the night was that the Sky was GREEN??? HAPPY said, “ You could actually feel the air pressure change rapidly and his ears even popped!!” The five of us back in the bar talked about sending out a search party but decided to keep eating our food. The First one back was ROTTEN WHORE, she said “ I have never run so fast back and it wasn’t for beer!!” Slowly the pack came back after tornado Sirens sounded in the suburb of Lyons!! MUDSUCKER wished he had eyeglass wipers so he could find his way home. HORN-E and even his horn was shaking in fear. All made it back safely and we watched the weather move in on Wrigley Field. The storm did pass and we did make it back out onto the patio for a circle. Remember hashers if you hear someone chosing MARLINS bar in the future for a hash be careful of what may happen. TWO HAHSES and TWO WRATH of GOD type thunderstorms is not a good sign!!!

ON ON

NEXT hash MONDAY at STOCKS and BLONDES @ 40 N. Wells

Next Tuesday Movie Night @ 8:25 An Affair to Remember

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM