Chicago Hash House Harriers – Page 109 – Every Week of the Year We Run for Beer

Mismanagement Meeting

Hi all, Your new GM thinks it’s time for another MisManagement meeting, so we’ll go ahead and have one next Wednesday, March 31, 2010 at Lion Head Pub (2251 N Lincoln). On the agenda (for now) is:
Upcoming Events
Summer habadashery
Got anything you’d like discussed? Questions? Comments? Email me at [email protected] On On, Fisty

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ? From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it a couple blocks East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar. From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, Fullerton #74 bus East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar.. Driving ? Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Lincoln/Belden/Orchard. Parking pretty much sucks in this corridor as the side streets are all Zone 143 permit. You might get lucky with a meter on Lincoln or open parking by Oz Park one block further Southeast.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1651

The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 21 Mar 2010

Hares were listed as Ice Princess and Crop Duster from the home of Ice Princess. I don’t think Ice Princess ever left his place. But Erin Go Buff did in fact help lay the trail. We did have 15 hounds on trail. The trail led south to a partially enclosed cluster of town homes after a quick Check. Lifa found the trail and led us around a bit and then through a fence and gate. Ooops, don’t close the gate. We did. Trail led into a field where Lifa found a Back Check and a can of cold beer. A reward for the FRB. But it was a Back Check and we returned to the now locked gate. Genesis played super hero and climbed the high wall and opened the gate and we were off again. Winding around the complex of homes Lifa again led us to a False and a locked gate. Going back, Horn-E found marks heading south and another False. So we returned to the north and eventually out the main gate and back south along State. At Roosevelt we found Erin Go Buff sitting there laughing at the hounds who missed the light. The front of the pack were out of sight in the next cluster of homes. But we caught up with them just as they found the next Check where all of the Check hangers were waiting. Horn-E followed the ranging pack and in the distance Ginger Snatch, but we were off. The trail headed behind some homes to a narrow passage and a high wall. But at the southern end we were able to climb over the wall. Two Fuck Canuck and Horn-E managed this okay but others were struggling and the FRBs were already out of sight. The hardest climb was Turbo Dog. Something about no opposable thumbs. So she was lifted over the top. Trail led us back to Roosevelt and east where we crossed the previous trail at State St. and repaired marks by those sneaky bastard hares. This led us through some alleys and streets to the north and east and eventually over to Michigan Ave. We could see the FRBs heading north from some monument in the park and along the path paralleling the tracks. The pack swept towards the FRBs who eventually returned towards Michigan Ave. I followed Ass Capades as we cut a short bit of trail and soon we were heading into an underground garage. Check. That was nice. But the pack was soon On and into the parking area. They looked lost up ahead and Genesis headed south into a corner and found beer by a trash can.
Motor Whore A was also there. Not on trail, but she might have brought the beer. And so we drank some beer and an all to short, but decent trail was over. Who managed to run. International Virgin. Yeah, sort of running again. Just Cindy, 10,000 Tiki Whore, Suckiwi, Its Too Soft, The KGB, M’Alice from Vancouver and new to Chicago, Fruit Of The Clue.
Back at the Condo of Ice Princess, we eventually headed to the roof for a circle. The hares got their usual dosage of well deserved charges and down downs. We met the visitors M’Alice, Two Buck Canuck who ran trail and eventually Funny Bone Her who didn’t but helped Salty Gash get more beer. Thanks ladies. And we met Fruit Of The Clue who also did his first Chicago trail and has moved here. Welcome. There were two virgins who were also brought out, Just Caroline and Just Jill who didn’t run trail. Hmmm!. Wouldn’t they still be virgins then? We need to get them to break that cherry on trail somewhere soon. There was a long list of other hashers who also didn’t. Batteries Not Included, Calvin Klein, Soul Taco, Mouthful Of Meat, Wang Chunks, Fistful Of Pricks and Just Becky.
Back in the condo we settled into beer and some good chocolate brought by Just Becky. Ice Princess soon went beddy bye, or in the words of true drinkers, passed out. We only had one bitch fight that was quickly broken up. We made a lot of noise and eventually the neighbors came by. Noise? Who us? So, with our host passed out, we decided to honor his home and quieted down a bit. Hmmm, hashers quieting down. Now there is a novel twist. And so the hash slowly filtered away as hashers wandered off.

CH3 #1651

Chicago HHH Run #1651 Sunday 3/21, 2pm @ Casa de Ice Princess POST SHAMROCK SHUFFLE HASH

Hare(s): Crop Duster and Ice Princess
Venue: Casa de Ice Princess – XXX S. Plymouth Unit XXX Buzz #XXX
Hash Cash: $8

CH3 #1650

Chicago hash Run #1650 – Mar 14, 2010
Hare(s): EZ on the Ass
Venue: Floyd’s Pub – 1944 N Oakley (@ Armitage)
Hash Cash: $8

Event: St. Patrick’s Day Run

Info from the hare: A to B run finishing at 2300 W. Wabansia, where good food and a keg of Irish beer await. Additional food and beverage donations are welcomed.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1649

The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 7 Mar 2010 by Horn-E

We were to run out of O’Malley’s West. Not a good hash bar as we learned later. Why it was up for bar of the year was beyond me. Our hares were Chicken Stifer and Fistful Of Pricks and there was no trail laid. Chicken Stifer headed out to lay a trail a little after 2PM. Would we be stuck with some crappie hangover trail? We weren’t hungover. But 12 hounds took off on trail. Trail headed west and wound through all to familiar streets and alleys. But it wasn’t a bad trail so far. There was even a loop through a gangway that worked. And all to soon we were heading back towards Oz Park, a block from the bar. Is this where we would be met by Fistful of Pricks and a beer stop after less then a mile and a half. But no. There was a Check. Sperm Diversion headed east and found a Split, He went straight so Horn-E headed south and he was On. We were leaving Oz Park. Where we to actually have a trail? This led to an alley and a Check at the exit of the alley. Horn-E went south on a long block and finally the On was called, to the east somewhere. Upon returning, everyone was gone. Horn-E circled the block and at the alley by the fire station he spotted Just Valinda at the far end. She was waving that she wasn’t on and returning. So Horn-E went around the fire station and headed south and soon was back on trail. We headed west and found Corn Star at a Triple Split. She checked to the north and found nothing. Horn-E headed east and found trail heading north in an alley. And so, the three of us just followed trail trying to stay together and help each other. Horn-E was mostly in front and found a Back Check. At last we are seeing more Back Checks being laid without numbers and the way they should be laid. This lead to a trail through a maze of town houses and finally toward Webster and Clark and a Check. This lead us north and west and it became obvious the trail was no longer a trail but just following marks to the inevitable beer stop at the Chicken Coop. And just as we arrived, the late arriving Lifa joined us, as DFL.
Upstairs we found the pack sitting around watching TV. Hey, this is a hash. So Lifa, Sperm Diversion and Horn-E sat by themselves and talked hash stuff.
Back at the bar, we found the bar was full of stool potatoes. That is couch potatoes but in a bar. Every table was full and people were eating. This would not be a good place for a circle or to even hang out. But Fistful Of Pricks bought beer and Chicken Stifer pleaded on bended knee and they finally let us into the upstairs bar for our circle.
Genesis arrived and started the circle and the usual shit happened. We were introduced to out virgin, Just Amanda, brought around by Ass Capades. Batteries Not Included and Calvin Klein arrived to drink with us and immediately called out the Cub Fans for a down down because the White Sox beat them. Who fucking cares. Please, lets not having a running score on all of these teams all summer. We are a hash.
We did get around to naming two bimbos today. Just Valinda found some Costa Rican money on trail. 1000 something. And just like a little Costa Rican hooker she picked it up. Worth about $1.83. And so she got named 1000 dollar Costa Rican Whore or was it 10K Tika Hoe. Or something like that. We’ll see how that settles out. Then we named Just Allison, for her adventures with a New Zealander. SucKiwi. I will let that go at what it is.
Other hounds included Its Too Soft, R-Tard-E, SnatchSquatch, Crop Duster, and Free VD.

There was also a Hash Ball the night before. We have really slipped into just a party and it is no longer anything resembling a Ball. The bar was too loud, (the DJ sucked. Where was Odor Eater? Or yeah, getting drunk) the belly fill was just that and the beer was only Coors. Or was that Coors Light? Even worse. Remember a few years ago when we had Milk My Yak’s home brew. Damn good. And before that, the Ball was in a banquet room. The award winners from the Hash Ballot were announced. Fistful Of Pricks is the new Chicago GM. Check them on line. And why weren’t the write ins included? What were they? They sometimes out polled names on the ballot. I noticed that a bunch of paid people never even showed. Batteries Not Included and Calvin Klein didn’t pay and were listed as coming. They saved $30. There were some in costume and some of the better ones were our own Corn Star as our own Corn Star. International Virgin all decked out in white trying to win again. Slippery Box in a slippery box with some Vaseline. Beer Spill Veldez as a Mexican spilling beer. Chicken Stifer fucking a chicken. EZ On The Ass with EZ on the ass. And Genesis as the Hasher Of A Thousand Names. There were a few others, but most of us didn’t dress up, including myself. I dress as Horn-E at every hash, so I thought I would just dress as myself for this one.
I finally left, early. Couldn’t stand the noise from the DJ and the Coors. Went to Friar Tuck’s for some good Michelob Amber and Sultry Skanks.

On On
Horn-E

CH3 #1649

Hare(s): Chicken Stiffer & New GM?
Venue: O’Malley’s West – 2249 N Lincoln Ave
Hash Cash: $8

Why: Because you didn’t get enough beer at Hash Ball!!

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Stay TUNED many hashers will go early to O’Malley’s or some other bar in the area to watch Blackhawks vs Red Wings @ 11:30 am

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it a couple blocks East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, Fullerton #74 bus East to Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton, Southeast on Lincoln two blocks to da bar.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Lincoln/Belden/Orchard. Parking pretty much sucks in this corridor as the side streets are all Zone 143 permit. You might get lucky with a meter on Lincoln or open parking by Oz Park one block further Southeast.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1648

Feb. 28, 2010

Chicago Hash #1648
VENUE: Claddagh Ring with an ON AFTER PARTY to watch USA vs Canada Hockey

HARES: Slippery Box and Half-Fag
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: It’s Too Soft- Waukesha
HASHERS: LIFA, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry F*cker, Just Kelsey, Smell This, Cunt and Pasties, Just Allison, Uploader, Cornstar, Just Mike, Just Rob, Mouthful of Meat, Virgin Banger, Tinkle Trotsky, Just Sue, Crop Duster, Hot Pants, R-Tard-E, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Willow

TOTAL HASHERS – 23

The week of hashing started off right with Wednesday Drinking practice and 11 hashers getting together to watch the Russian-Canada hockey game. Snatchsquatch, Beer Spill, Chicken Stiffer, Asscapade, Tinkle Trotsky, Cornstar, R-Tard-E, Half-Fag, Just Kelsey, Odor Eater, and Poultry F*cker came together and saw Russia get crushed. The Funniest thing that night was watching Beer Spill Valdez rub his eye after eating a chicken wing with hot sauce. That was not a good idea and caused him to cry for the next hour plus almost as if he had been tear gassed. Later that night the CH3 hashing trivia team “America, Fuck YA!!!” won first place and $50 in free booze from the LIONS HEAD PUB!!!
Sunday we had 23 hashers show up to take part in the hash and then watch USA vs Canada hockey game. Many couldn’t believe at the end of the game that it was only 5 pm having put in a 4-mile run and then they watched a great Olympic hockey game. Our Hares today SLIPPERY BOX and HALF-FAG put down the trail marks. We started promptly at 11:34 am with POULTRY F*CKER trying to elbow me out into Foster Avenue to gain the lead. She along with JUST ALLISON, running with her hands down her pants to keep warm, were the leaders of the hash. We ran around an alley and out to Western Ave. where we found a split. I went north and was on crossing Western Ave. only to find a well-intended back check around the building on the corner. The pack went west here but one smart hasher named TINKLE TROTSKY (yes that is how you spell her name) went back east across Western Ave. and found trail. We ran back east and wound our way thru some apartment buildings again came to Western Ave. and crossed the street. The trail again crossed back over Western Ave. with CHICKEN STIFFER in the front finding trail around a funeral parlor. POULTRY F*CKER, CORNSTAR, and MOUTHFUL of MEAT joined forces and found trail running parallel to the cemetery east. The spry gazelle named SMELL THIS in his bright green jacket took the pack past the lumberyard and industrial park near Ravenswood Metra line but couldn’t keep up with the hasher UPLOADER. We came to a check and CHICKEN and VIRGIN BANGER ran back under the tracks thru a pedestrian walk way to the west side of the tracks and were back on trail. The hares tried to be sneaky here by only putting down marks after the pack had past but that didn’t fool JUST ALLISON and LIFA who cut trail to Foster Ave. by Big Joe’s turtle races. We came to a check here yet again and LIFA and SMELL THIS found trail going around Amudsen High School, but VIRGIN BANGER called the rest of the pack to follow him thru the park to his house because the beer stop was at his place, where we saw baby PIPER, RENTA and a dog named ZOOIE??
The beer stop was over in ten minutes and we ran back to the bar and enjoyed $6 pitchers of beer and many ordered a pizza or two for the upcoming game. HALF-FAG ran circle punishing JUST ALLISON and VIRGIN BANGER for being the FRB’s (Note JUST ALLISON raised her arms in rocky style when she got to the beer stop first!!!) LIFA drank for getting his first piece of hate mail for moving the hash to 11 am and became an official member of the CH3 MM. Our DFL was ITS TOO SOFT who showed up late again for another hash and ran with his backpack the whole trail. Finally HALF-FAG closed circle and we got the LCD projector ready to watch the game on a 70+ inch screen. We wish the US TEAM could have won but we saw an exciting overtime game!!! THE CH3 also OFFER CONGRATULATIONS to SMELL THIS and CUNT AND PASTIES on their engagement!!!!!!!!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1648

Chicago Hash #1648 Sunday 2/28, 11AM @ Claddaugh Ring – NOTE TIME CHANGE

Hare(s): Half Fag & Sippery Box
Venue: Claddagh Ring – 2306 W. Foster Ave.
Hash Cash: $8

As the USA men’s olympic hockey team ripped Finland 6-1 Friday and progressed to the gold medal game on Sunday, we will hash at 11:00 AM, allowing fans to watch the game. A bunch of hashers will probably be getting together to watch the game after the hash, stay tuned for details.

Check for any last minute schedule changes at: Please check the hash hotline (312) 409-BEER

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Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview “Green Zone”: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, North on Western to Foster and East to Oakley.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, #81 Lawrence bus East to Western, North on Western to Foster and East to Oakley.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Foster & Oakley.

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1647

Feb. 21, 2010

Chicago Hash #1647
VENUE: Red Line Tap with an ON AFTER PARTY at Poultry F*cker’s place to watch USA vs Canada Hockey

HARES: Hoosier Daddy and Dingo
VIRGINS: Just Kelsey
VISITORS: It’s Too Soft- Waukesha
HASHERS: Horn-E, LIFA, Slippery Box, Muffin the Mule, Bloody Thighs, Just Cindy, Woody Wood Whacker, Cornstar, Just Valinda, Chicken Stiffer, Crop Duster, Just Mike, Just Lydia, Milk My Yak, Barks on all Fours, Just Gavin, Half-Fag, Tinkle Trotsky, Mouthful of Meat

TOTAL HASHERS – 21

The weather cooperated and we had no rain, sleet or snow until 6 pm well after the hash. The trail was set by HOOSIER DADDY, and his minion DINGO. HOOSIER DADDY laid arrows on trail while DINGO put down little doggie land mines for us to follow. We had a quick chalk talk with statements made about rules? And standard marks? The pack was off and I led SLIPPERY BOX to my car to dump her bags in my trunk but since there was a mark right at my car we were still on. WOODY WOOD WHACKER found a check and went north while LIFA and I went west. I found a mark turning back south and LIFA didn’t follow, big mistake for him because he was on his own the rest of the trail. The pack soon followed along with the short cutting HORN-E and we ran south to Pratt where another check was found by the pack. JUST MIKE found a faded trail in an alley HORN-E already checked and I called for the pack to follow us, making HORN-E do a 180-degree turn to find trail again. CROP DUSTER was now up with JUST MIKE AND I and we continued to find trail winding towards the Loyola campus on Broadway. Here again was a check and WOODY WOOD WHACKER really took a wrong turn because JUST MIKE found trail running thru the campus and toward the lake. He along with JUST LYDIA and the virgin, JUST KELSEY were now near the front of the pack with search parties out looking for LIFA. IT’s TOO SOFT then found trail after a split and the pack was running in a steady northern direction.
We soon ran into a BN but that was false trail and had to back track to the split and keep running north and then east to the beer stop on a frozen beach north of the Loyola campus. Here most of the pack including JUST VALINDA, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT and BLOODY THIGHS regained the pack and we all enjoyed some Keystone beer at the B! The pack had a beer or two and then ran back to bar where or RA HALF-FAG was ready to conduct a circle. Accusations were made and JUST KELSEY our virgin was introduced to the hash. Our FRB CROP DUSTER drank along with our DFL LIFA who finally found trail and the beer stop in end. We even said hello to JUST GAVIN one of the youngest hashers on trail and he was even pointing on the circle. JUST CINDY was a reboot along with MOUTHFUL OF MEAT who came out to say hi to our IRAQ bound hasher WOODY WOOD WHACKER. HALF-FAG had us singing swing low and then we waited around drinking the hash cash until 6 pm when the hash was all invited to POULTRY’s place to watch the USA-CANADA HOCKEY game. Present for the ON AFTER were FISTY, SNATCH, R-TARD-E, CHICKEN, SOUL TACO, CROP DUSTER, SLIPERY BOX, HALF-FAG, ITS TOO SOFT, MUFFIN THE MULE, and TINKLE TROTSKY. The funniest part to the night was POULTRY’s cat Frisky would get the courage to come upstairs and see the people but usually at that point the USA would score causing the crowd to scream and the cat to bolt for the basement in a panic. We had pizza and beer and saw a final score USA 5 CANADA 3!!!! See you next week but if the USA is in the gold medal game at 2:15 pm SUNDAY you might not see me.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

The Original Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 21 Feb 2010 by Horn-E
A small pack greeted Hoosier Daddy when he returned from setting trail, but we soon ended up with 19 hounds ready for trail thanks to waiting way past start time. So lets get going and Hoosier Daddy had us outside for a short chalk talk. Actually only 16 hounds would really do trail as Milk My Yak and Barks On All Fours were there with there baby, Just Gavin (Barks and Yaks?). The trail headed south to the corner and a Split and Melvin The Mule and Horn-E headed south. Trail went west on Lunt, rhymes with Paulina. So we circled around and Horn-E found himself paralleling in an alley and back to Lunt and Ashland, Here was a Split and Chicken Stifer headed west. So Horn-E headed south and was right On. But this went to a Check at Morse. Calling the following pack, Horn-E headed further south and at the next block there were no marks. Crossing the street Chicken Stifer ran on by blowing his whistle. But since he was on the west side of the street and the Check was on the east side, did he even know he was at a Check? Horn-E called out and naturally he didn’t answer so he had to wait for two more arrows before he could call to the rest of the pack. And there was another Check at Pratt. Horn-E headed east to a Split and headed south, but never saw the mark on the wet pavement. So he headed east and there weren’t any marks. Returning, Chicken Stifer was suddenly at that corner on Pratt yelling On. Yeah, he came back for the pack. He headed south at a Split at an alley and wasn’t On. Trail headed east into the alley and then south to a Triple split. Trail was to the east and Crop Duster was way out there and as we ran along Melvin The Mule suddenly returned from a Split and led Woody Wood Wacker, Slippery Box and Horn-E south to Albion where we did a short loop under the tracks and south in an alley. Chicken Stifer was apparently ranging again and showed up just as we headed south. At Sheridan we had a Check. This one took a while to solve, at least for the back of the pack. But we were soon off through the north end of Loyola to another Check just outside of the soccer field. Just Kelsey our virgin and her friend Just Lidija were hanging around there Woody Wood Wacker leaped the fence and looked for marks. Chicken Stifer was wandering around, and not On. Horn-E headed east and found nothing. Suddenly the women were heading north and apparently On. Horn-E and Woody Wood Wacker followed and somehow managed to follow as the women joined up with the front pack and we were soon heading east on Farwell to the lakefront and north to a beer stop where they were waiting at a beer stop with Barks On All Fours and Milk My Yak. About five minutes later Chicken Stifer managed to come on in. Another five minutes and the back of the pack arrived, Bloody thighs, Corn Star, Just Valinda, and Mouthful Of Meat. The only one missing was Lifa. Yeah, that Lifa. He missed something and was struggling through the trail on his own.
From here it was a short run/walk back to the Red Line Tap with Just Cindy and more beer.
The beer finally got flowing and Genesis and Tinkle Trotskie arrived to join us. Yeah, Lifa arrived too. Genesis started a circle and Hoosier Daddy got a lot of beer Down Downs. Good thing he had his leg humper to walk him home. That leg humper was all over everyone. We introduced our new virgin, Just Kelsey. Then we called out all of the returning hashers including Woody Wood Wacker, Mouthful Of Meat, Just Mike and Just Lidija. After the circle we hung around a bit, having a good time and suddenly the pack all left to go watch TV. So It was home early after a short On ON. Did I miss anyone. Oh yeah, Its Too Soft taking pictures as usual in the circle.
For you that didn’t know him, Woody Wood Wacker started hashing in Chicago many years back. Went off to serve Uncle Sam and on to college and flight school. He is now on his way to Afghanistan flying a medical evacuation helicopter. Wish him a safe return.

On On
Horn-E