HASH TRASH – Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash #1571
Nov. 9, 2008 @ Windsor Tavern
HARES: Cumma Slutra & Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Ashley, Just Jessica
HASHERS: Bang Me Blow Me Get Me Off, Bloody Thighs, Chicken Stiffer, Erin Go Bra, Hoosier Daddy, Horn-E, Just Taylor, Just Hooper, Mudsucker, One-Handed Typist, Poultry F*cker, Rent-A-Virgin (cameo), and Sir Poops Alot
TOTAL HASHERS – 17 on a cold and snowy taste of what winter will be like!
Fujirazzi pix on the CH3 website and http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=kuxb1a3.4u21xm0b&x=0&y=lbcd0s&localeid=en_US
Let’s see, the last time we were at Windsor Tavern it was for Idiot’s Day in December 2006 and there was snow everywhere so today couldn’t be all that bad, right? About a dozen hashers gathered outside as the hares explained the trail and the marks. When asked whether the beer stop would be indoors the hares quickly evaded answering. Yes, expect an outdoor beer check.
The weather wasn’t really all that bad with the ambient temperature around 40 degrees with light overcast skies as the pack headed out to a not that bad trail which headed generally southwest towards Portage Park in roughly a saw-tooth pattern even skirting around the edge of Portage Park (the park itself) before finally plunging in towards the south and exiting the Northeast corner.
It was definitely a fast “two-pack” trail with a bunch of those of us up front running almost constantly and widening the distance between us and the slower runners & walkers. After nearly as much pavement pounding as the Bank of America Chicago Half Marathon, the welcome “Beer Near” was spotted which led to Cumma Slutra’s dad’s crib where we partook of such fine craft macrobrews as PBR, Old Style and Bud Light. There were a few Guinness’s buried in there too but I suspect given their odd number (not 6 or 12) were leftovers from something else. As a bonus the pack was also treated to chicken soup which Cumma Slutra’s father made for us as he apparently cooks on Sunday for the entire week so it was easy to scale up a batch and felt okay about the chicken in the soup as we knew our Chicken was safe at Soldier Field watching the Bears get pounded by the Titans.
Back to the bar was minor death march of its own with long straight-aways up Central and across Montrose as Bang Me Blow Me and One-Handed Typist were essentially racing each other back to the bar because it was getting “cold”. To be fair there was enough wind to make the 40 degree ambient temperature feel like we should be seeing pools of liquid nitrogen starting to form on the sidewalk.
Once back at the bar we were surprised to see the Chickens dining on their fine board of fare figuring they must have pulled off the greatest traffic miracle of all time getting all the way up from Soldier Field to beat the pack back to the bar, in reality they bailed after the third quarter. So much for Rex Grossman being the salvation of the 2008 season.
With Chicken back in action he acted as ersatz RA as for some reason (location maybe) this was almost a completely different crew than we had out last week. In the circle, our hares Cumma Slutra and Virgin Banger got their usual hare down downs, and then Bang Me Blow Me and One-Handed Typist got down downs for being FRB/FBI racing back to the bar in addition to being the only “twins” present.
Then our virgins Just Ashley and Just Jessica got the only down down they would ever have to at a hash (note Just Jessica hails from “The Other Grand Rapids” – MINNESOTA not MICHIGAN), then the usual hash attire and other silly down downs followed ending with hash religion per ritual and tradition. After the circle people continued the party longer than usual and I think we passed the hat twice, finally it was time to bag out and head for my next party, Eagles game watching at Mad River where my birds just did not have enough juice to overcome the onslaught of the defending Super Bowl champs NY Giants.
Next couple of weeks we get back-to-back R T Tard E trails the second one of which we’re gonna do our annual Thanksgiving Dinner hash with Turkey and fixins’ the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend and don’t forget, we’re now taking regos for the CH3’s biggest event of the year, our 7th Annual Great Chicago Anthrax Scare Hash / Santa Hat Run. Can we break our record of 114 hashers this year? We’re gonna be at our favorite hash bar The Beaumont this year – talk about some real Change You Can Believe In. Price is $30 now but goes up this weekend to $35 so register today!
Party on on,
Fuji / It’s Too Soft
Consigliere, Hash Flash and Web Dude
THE Chicago Hash House Harriers