Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1553

Hash Trash:

July 12, 2008 POP the Main Event!!!

FOUR TREY’s 3333 N. Damen

Visitors: Brrr (Austin), BIG HUMPERS: Burning Asshole, Nurse Hashshit, Pees Like a Princess, PMS, Postage Tramp, Ricky’s Crab Shack, Sexorcist. CUM-BLOW-US: Broken Rubber, Sausage Stew, Pup Tent. Nice Try-DECOC, Just Carole (Denver), HOT LIPS (Grand Rapids), Scratchy (GUAM), INDYSCENT : Double Fister, Fishlips, Oral Persuasion, Moan On Trail, KCH3: Extenze for Menz, Fuck My Mom, I is EZ, Waukesha (sucks) 2 Can Slam, Palms 13:15, Creamin and Screamin, Ass Clown (Sir Walter Raleigh) Finger Picken Good (Little Rock), Return to Gender & Just Virgina (Madison), Punch Drunk Beaver & Shaves a hairy Ass (Panama City)

Hashers: 69-cent Man, Coppus Rejectus, Sir Poops A lot, Puke Suit Riot, 2 Tickets to a Pair Thighs, 867-5309, Bag Squeezer, Barks on All Fours, Batteries not Included, Calvin Klein, Chicken Stiffer, Crop Duster, Cuma Slutra, Cums On I Lean, Hoosier Daddy, Inernational Virgin, Its Too Soft, Just Bill, Just Cari, Just I Lean, Just Julia, Just Nettie, Just Saud, Just YK, Lifa, Likes it on the Bottom Magnetic Muff, Milk My Yak, Mount Schwiinga, Mud Sucker, Odor Eater, Packher Ass, R-Tard-E, Rotten Whore, Salty Gash, Sit-N-Pee, Snatch Squatch, Super Stuff’her, The Enema Canal, The Grrrreat Lochness Cockster, Too Much Head, Just John, Virtually Hung, W’all BangHer, Stump Humper, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Uploader, Just Jaime, Just Tony, Just John, Just Amanda, Ez on the Ass, Happy Ass Grabber, The hasher formerly named “I’m Late Again”

Total: 88 HASHERS

I got to the Bar around 1:30 pm and the ladies were already well on their way to getting the hash room ready for the day. SALTY and PACKHER ASS were ready for regos and ROTTEN arrived with ODOR who brought in his DJ equipment for the evening. LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM and 867-5309 were out setting trail and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA was sleeping off a hang over? Slowly hashers began to arrive the most important being MILK MY YAK with BARKS on all FOURS and their 3 lovely 5-gallon containers of IPA home brew!!! The kegs were tapped and IPA was around for all to try. I can barely remember it from hashball damn that stuff is potent. The weather prediction was for thunderstorms throughout the day but nothing ever developed from it. In fact it was a perfect day to run with the cloud cover blocking what could have been a blistering sun from the hashers, causing us to sweat out our alcohol.

The POP ladies conducted the Circle. It was great to see so many familiar faces and a few new ones JUST JAIME and JUST TONY joining the CH3 hash today, but where was CALVIN, PMS, and POSTAGE??? They arrived right at the start because CALVIN missed the ADDISON el-stop? The Pack was off and I walked with CALVIN to the ADDISON stop because he saw marks there and we wanted to be short cutting bastards!!! I guess we missed the shot stop because the CTA was doing construction where the stop was going to be oh darn!!! We got to the first beer stop and there was JUST JOHN, FINGER PICKIN GOOD, JUST I LEAN, and MILK MY YAK with UPLOADER trying to get beer from a bad keg. Being hashers they tried everything. They turned the keg on its side; they turned it upside down, they even yelled at it to come out but to no avail. ROTTEN and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA ran out and got some beer replacements and the pack was happy when they got in.

The Second beer stop was off some where in the distance but before we got there the POP ladies said we would need to pick up playing cards on trail. These would be used at the next beer stop for some games. The next stop was PUKE SUIT RIOTS former abode and to get there we ran by the LINCOLN-BELMON street festival and through CUBS TRAFFIC that was happy after the CUBS beat SF 8-7. MILK MY YAK went back and got one of his 5-gallons of beer for this stop and we had plenty of IPA or HEINEKINS around. The cards were used to give drinks (black) or take drinks (red). MOUNT SCHWIIIINGA also had some hashers tell some jokes or do a dance! HAPPY, BROKEN RUBBER and I? Told some pretty bad jokes. The other team did some dance which involved one hasher pulling down his shorts, go figure? Eventually the Hash was asked to leave by a nice young lady. We invited to join us and CALVIN was even willing to sing her NELLIE DARLING but I don’t think she thought it was funny, too bad?

We got back to the bar around 5:30 pm and CALVIN, SCHWIIINGA, and THE ENEMA CANAL got the circle going. In typical Calvin fashion the Circle ran for about 45-minutes and everyone was nailed with a down-down. I is EZ got back her mug and PACKhER ASS got her gift from INDY. SUPER STUF’HER got the sleeve of death. I’m sure everyone was happy with the event so far no only if the food was good as well!!! The Circle ended and Hot Beef sandwiches with pasta were served. Everyone was happy with the food and ate and ate and ate!!! There still was food left at the end of the night. Our good friend ODOR got the party going with some music and the party room/ garage got hot so we went looking for a way to open the garage door. PACKhER ASS being every so resourceful conned the info out the bartender and found the garage door opener in the flower basket. The door magically lifted and cool night air floated in. This also allowed our resident smokers to step quickly outside for a puff.

Flippy cup was played by STEWY, STUFF’HER, JUST AMANDA, CHICKEN, RETURN TO GENDER, and others. ROTTEN WHORE danced on the tabletop and we have named her newfound friends on her chest as Exhibit A and Exhibit B!!! Overall I began to lose track of time, but I do know that more kegs were sent for and they arrived in magic white chariot or maybe it was jus a white van? The end of the night found JUST I LEAN mopping the floor because liquor was spilled on the bar room floor and the shop was closed for the night.

Chicken Stiffer

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