Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1696

The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, 5 Dec 2010 by Horn-E

It was cold. Bitter cold. Like hell. It was just a little below freezing. So where was everybody? Corn Star
was our hare out of the Pitch. We had only 7 hounds. Yes, seven. And four of them didn’t have 20 hashes between them, or names yet and two hounds were on their second hash, Just Laurel and Just Camdin. And they both did well against the experienced three hounds. Well, Lifa did well, but Horn-E and Its Too Soft were mainly behind a lot. Just John and Just Ryan have been around a bit lately and they were doing well too.
So after a quick chalk talk, the Magnificent Seven took off on Corn Star’s trail. We found a Check at Webster and Just Ryan was soon on to the west and north and through some alleys. From the back of the pack it looked like Lifa was finding most of the marks, or ranging as usual and getting lucky. He actually missed two short loops and picked up the trail further on. We crossed Fullerton for a bit and then it was back south through some town houses and further south, and around a park. Here was a Check that seemed a bit tough. Why? I have no idea, I was last to the Check and they seemed to be struggling. I saw Its Too Soft head south and I went to Check because he never leaves the Check unless someone found something. He wasn’t in sight. At the alley, I saw Its Too Soft, Just John and Just Camdin at the end. Now, it was really slippery out there, but these three hounds didn’t look like there were slipping. That takes motion. They looked glued to the spot. I called for Just Laurel and they were still motionless. If they were lying down, I’d have called an ambulance and checked for a heart beat. So I headed off in another direction and just as I was about to disappear out of sight, an On call was made. So there I was playing catch up. I finally caught the back runners Just John and Its Too Soft just before we headed south on Clybourn. Now with the narrow, partially covered with snow, side walks and slippery spots where lazy bastards didn’t shovel and it was now slick ice, I opted for the safe dry streets. Hell, there were only shoppers in cars on cell phones, yelling at kids, drinking a latte, and fumbling with their free hand under their clothing. That was safer then the ice. Anyhow, I digress. Six other hashers ran down the sidewalk and not a one saw the turn arrow. It was there. I saw it after we ran back a block. So now we headed into the industrial area. Lifa was back out in front. Way in front. We got to a Check at Cortland and were spread all over when tail was found to the west. And over the bridge. Where was this girl taking us. Another Check at Elston had us really split up. LIfa headed to the Metra Station. I think everyone else headed straight. Its Too Soft was trying to hide his camouflage outfit against a wall to stay warm. Horn-E went north and soon saw Lifa blowing his whistle. He blew his horn and followed Lifa back between factories and to a little field by the river where we found beer. Several minutes later, Corn Star led the rest of the pack on in. And we stood around in the glowing rays of the setting sun drinking beer. This was Corn Star’s first solo attempt at haring and it was ……. The two newest hashers, Just Camdin and Just Laurel did a real decent job of getting out there at Checks right from the first Check. Well done.
Back at the Pitch we found Fistful Of Pricks, Batteries Not Included and Calvin Klein sitting around drinking beer. Calvin Klein soon called us into a circle and went on and on giving down downs to the hare and her surrogate, the bar tender, the non runners and on and on and on. After it was over, many ordered food and then soon left.