The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 31 Oct. 2010 by Horn-E
Another hash with a decent turnout. Do you think the idea of a costume run has anything to do with it. Hey, we hash every week. This one was hared by Calvin Klein and Batteries Not Included. By Calvin Klein’s GPS, it was three miles. Of course, that including walking around and setting all of the Falses. Lets say, about 2.25. But I only went off on one Check. We did head south a block and our unicorn, Just Anna led us to a Check at the first street east of the El tracks . From here we headed over to Sheridan Rd. for another Check. Again the trail went straight, but this was just a short loop over to the path along the lake and right back to Sheridan Rd and back across it. We then headed north in an alley and over to Loyola campus for another Check. The pack guessed right and into the campus we went where we found another Check. But this was right out of the campus and across Sheridan Rd. We did go north another block to Albion and then straight to another Check at Glenwood. From here it was almost straight south and then east to the On In. And here we had the most exciting thing happen on trail. In honor of the on going World Series, Horn-E tried to slide into home, head first. On the sidewalk. That’s his story and he is sticking to it. But according to 10 K Tika Ho, following along here, she saw Willie Nelson jogging along the sidewalk and trip on some crack. He needs to stick to grass. But he did do a flat out belly flop on the sidewalk. And that damn black and blue big toe tells more about the story then the conflicting stories. Meanwhile R-Tard-E came in DFL. There were some good costumes and possibly the best was EZ On The Ass who didn’t even run. But dressed as something dead. He even had Horn-E avoiding him.
Calvin Klein ran the circle and we all had fun. We were introduced to Just Mike and Jingle Balls, a transplant from Philadelphia. Congratulations for being stretched out on a torture rack to Way To Much Jism. The torture rack was four 12.5 mile loops on the south lakefront for a total of fifty miles on Sat. in under ten hours. That is like 2 marathons in five hours each. WWWEEELLLLLL DDDOOONNNEEE.
And no, she didn’t run the hash. She had trouble even walking and standing in circle. Other hashers who just showed up and didn’t run included Just Abby, Just Rob, Ten Dix With Wings and Just Mo who was dressed as a Christmas tree. I still want to see those wrapped presents under the tree.
Other hashers on trail included Ginger Snatch who was dressed as a strawberry. Hmmmm, strawberrys and cream. Super Stuffer, Mouthful Of Meat, Just Mary, Bloody Thighs, Up Loader, Its Too Soft and Just Adam. We also have to call out Salty Gash for riding her pony in the circle, The KGB for dressing as a Doctor and again winning worst costume just beating out Horn-E, and Lifa as a mangy horny hound humping women’s legs everywhere.
Then finally we reconvened the circle at the urging of Horn-E and EZ On The Ass for a naming of Just Anna. They had a perfect name for her and after EZ On The Ass told the story, it was unanimous and her name will forever be known as Wizard Sleeves. She’ll have to show you why.