Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1648

Feb. 28, 2010

Chicago Hash #1648
VENUE: Claddagh Ring with an ON AFTER PARTY to watch USA vs Canada Hockey

HARES: Slippery Box and Half-Fag
VISITORS: It’s Too Soft- Waukesha
HASHERS: LIFA, Chicken Stiffer, Poultry F*cker, Just Kelsey, Smell This, Cunt and Pasties, Just Allison, Uploader, Cornstar, Just Mike, Just Rob, Mouthful of Meat, Virgin Banger, Tinkle Trotsky, Just Sue, Crop Duster, Hot Pants, R-Tard-E, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Willow


The week of hashing started off right with Wednesday Drinking practice and 11 hashers getting together to watch the Russian-Canada hockey game. Snatchsquatch, Beer Spill, Chicken Stiffer, Asscapade, Tinkle Trotsky, Cornstar, R-Tard-E, Half-Fag, Just Kelsey, Odor Eater, and Poultry F*cker came together and saw Russia get crushed. The Funniest thing that night was watching Beer Spill Valdez rub his eye after eating a chicken wing with hot sauce. That was not a good idea and caused him to cry for the next hour plus almost as if he had been tear gassed. Later that night the CH3 hashing trivia team “America, Fuck YA!!!” won first place and $50 in free booze from the LIONS HEAD PUB!!!
Sunday we had 23 hashers show up to take part in the hash and then watch USA vs Canada hockey game. Many couldn’t believe at the end of the game that it was only 5 pm having put in a 4-mile run and then they watched a great Olympic hockey game. Our Hares today SLIPPERY BOX and HALF-FAG put down the trail marks. We started promptly at 11:34 am with POULTRY F*CKER trying to elbow me out into Foster Avenue to gain the lead. She along with JUST ALLISON, running with her hands down her pants to keep warm, were the leaders of the hash. We ran around an alley and out to Western Ave. where we found a split. I went north and was on crossing Western Ave. only to find a well-intended back check around the building on the corner. The pack went west here but one smart hasher named TINKLE TROTSKY (yes that is how you spell her name) went back east across Western Ave. and found trail. We ran back east and wound our way thru some apartment buildings again came to Western Ave. and crossed the street. The trail again crossed back over Western Ave. with CHICKEN STIFFER in the front finding trail around a funeral parlor. POULTRY F*CKER, CORNSTAR, and MOUTHFUL of MEAT joined forces and found trail running parallel to the cemetery east. The spry gazelle named SMELL THIS in his bright green jacket took the pack past the lumberyard and industrial park near Ravenswood Metra line but couldn’t keep up with the hasher UPLOADER. We came to a check and CHICKEN and VIRGIN BANGER ran back under the tracks thru a pedestrian walk way to the west side of the tracks and were back on trail. The hares tried to be sneaky here by only putting down marks after the pack had past but that didn’t fool JUST ALLISON and LIFA who cut trail to Foster Ave. by Big Joe’s turtle races. We came to a check here yet again and LIFA and SMELL THIS found trail going around Amudsen High School, but VIRGIN BANGER called the rest of the pack to follow him thru the park to his house because the beer stop was at his place, where we saw baby PIPER, RENTA and a dog named ZOOIE??
The beer stop was over in ten minutes and we ran back to the bar and enjoyed $6 pitchers of beer and many ordered a pizza or two for the upcoming game. HALF-FAG ran circle punishing JUST ALLISON and VIRGIN BANGER for being the FRB’s (Note JUST ALLISON raised her arms in rocky style when she got to the beer stop first!!!) LIFA drank for getting his first piece of hate mail for moving the hash to 11 am and became an official member of the CH3 MM. Our DFL was ITS TOO SOFT who showed up late again for another hash and ran with his backpack the whole trail. Finally HALF-FAG closed circle and we got the LCD projector ready to watch the game on a 70+ inch screen. We wish the US TEAM could have won but we saw an exciting overtime game!!! THE CH3 also OFFER CONGRATULATIONS to SMELL THIS and CUNT AND PASTIES on their engagement!!!!!!!!!!