Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1647

Feb. 21, 2010

Chicago Hash #1647
VENUE: Red Line Tap with an ON AFTER PARTY at Poultry F*cker’s place to watch USA vs Canada Hockey

HARES: Hoosier Daddy and Dingo
VIRGINS: Just Kelsey
VISITORS: It’s Too Soft- Waukesha
HASHERS: Horn-E, LIFA, Slippery Box, Muffin the Mule, Bloody Thighs, Just Cindy, Woody Wood Whacker, Cornstar, Just Valinda, Chicken Stiffer, Crop Duster, Just Mike, Just Lydia, Milk My Yak, Barks on all Fours, Just Gavin, Half-Fag, Tinkle Trotsky, Mouthful of Meat


The weather cooperated and we had no rain, sleet or snow until 6 pm well after the hash. The trail was set by HOOSIER DADDY, and his minion DINGO. HOOSIER DADDY laid arrows on trail while DINGO put down little doggie land mines for us to follow. We had a quick chalk talk with statements made about rules? And standard marks? The pack was off and I led SLIPPERY BOX to my car to dump her bags in my trunk but since there was a mark right at my car we were still on. WOODY WOOD WHACKER found a check and went north while LIFA and I went west. I found a mark turning back south and LIFA didn’t follow, big mistake for him because he was on his own the rest of the trail. The pack soon followed along with the short cutting HORN-E and we ran south to Pratt where another check was found by the pack. JUST MIKE found a faded trail in an alley HORN-E already checked and I called for the pack to follow us, making HORN-E do a 180-degree turn to find trail again. CROP DUSTER was now up with JUST MIKE AND I and we continued to find trail winding towards the Loyola campus on Broadway. Here again was a check and WOODY WOOD WHACKER really took a wrong turn because JUST MIKE found trail running thru the campus and toward the lake. He along with JUST LYDIA and the virgin, JUST KELSEY were now near the front of the pack with search parties out looking for LIFA. IT’s TOO SOFT then found trail after a split and the pack was running in a steady northern direction.
We soon ran into a BN but that was false trail and had to back track to the split and keep running north and then east to the beer stop on a frozen beach north of the Loyola campus. Here most of the pack including JUST VALINDA, MOUTHFUL OF MEAT and BLOODY THIGHS regained the pack and we all enjoyed some Keystone beer at the B! The pack had a beer or two and then ran back to bar where or RA HALF-FAG was ready to conduct a circle. Accusations were made and JUST KELSEY our virgin was introduced to the hash. Our FRB CROP DUSTER drank along with our DFL LIFA who finally found trail and the beer stop in end. We even said hello to JUST GAVIN one of the youngest hashers on trail and he was even pointing on the circle. JUST CINDY was a reboot along with MOUTHFUL OF MEAT who came out to say hi to our IRAQ bound hasher WOODY WOOD WHACKER. HALF-FAG had us singing swing low and then we waited around drinking the hash cash until 6 pm when the hash was all invited to POULTRY’s place to watch the USA-CANADA HOCKEY game. Present for the ON AFTER were FISTY, SNATCH, R-TARD-E, CHICKEN, SOUL TACO, CROP DUSTER, SLIPERY BOX, HALF-FAG, ITS TOO SOFT, MUFFIN THE MULE, and TINKLE TROTSKY. The funniest part to the night was POULTRY’s cat Frisky would get the courage to come upstairs and see the people but usually at that point the USA would score causing the crowd to scream and the cat to bolt for the basement in a panic. We had pizza and beer and saw a final score USA 5 CANADA 3!!!! See you next week but if the USA is in the gold medal game at 2:15 pm SUNDAY you might not see me.


The Original Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 21 Feb 2010 by Horn-E
A small pack greeted Hoosier Daddy when he returned from setting trail, but we soon ended up with 19 hounds ready for trail thanks to waiting way past start time. So lets get going and Hoosier Daddy had us outside for a short chalk talk. Actually only 16 hounds would really do trail as Milk My Yak and Barks On All Fours were there with there baby, Just Gavin (Barks and Yaks?). The trail headed south to the corner and a Split and Melvin The Mule and Horn-E headed south. Trail went west on Lunt, rhymes with Paulina. So we circled around and Horn-E found himself paralleling in an alley and back to Lunt and Ashland, Here was a Split and Chicken Stifer headed west. So Horn-E headed south and was right On. But this went to a Check at Morse. Calling the following pack, Horn-E headed further south and at the next block there were no marks. Crossing the street Chicken Stifer ran on by blowing his whistle. But since he was on the west side of the street and the Check was on the east side, did he even know he was at a Check? Horn-E called out and naturally he didn’t answer so he had to wait for two more arrows before he could call to the rest of the pack. And there was another Check at Pratt. Horn-E headed east to a Split and headed south, but never saw the mark on the wet pavement. So he headed east and there weren’t any marks. Returning, Chicken Stifer was suddenly at that corner on Pratt yelling On. Yeah, he came back for the pack. He headed south at a Split at an alley and wasn’t On. Trail headed east into the alley and then south to a Triple split. Trail was to the east and Crop Duster was way out there and as we ran along Melvin The Mule suddenly returned from a Split and led Woody Wood Wacker, Slippery Box and Horn-E south to Albion where we did a short loop under the tracks and south in an alley. Chicken Stifer was apparently ranging again and showed up just as we headed south. At Sheridan we had a Check. This one took a while to solve, at least for the back of the pack. But we were soon off through the north end of Loyola to another Check just outside of the soccer field. Just Kelsey our virgin and her friend Just Lidija were hanging around there Woody Wood Wacker leaped the fence and looked for marks. Chicken Stifer was wandering around, and not On. Horn-E headed east and found nothing. Suddenly the women were heading north and apparently On. Horn-E and Woody Wood Wacker followed and somehow managed to follow as the women joined up with the front pack and we were soon heading east on Farwell to the lakefront and north to a beer stop where they were waiting at a beer stop with Barks On All Fours and Milk My Yak. About five minutes later Chicken Stifer managed to come on in. Another five minutes and the back of the pack arrived, Bloody thighs, Corn Star, Just Valinda, and Mouthful Of Meat. The only one missing was Lifa. Yeah, that Lifa. He missed something and was struggling through the trail on his own.
From here it was a short run/walk back to the Red Line Tap with Just Cindy and more beer.
The beer finally got flowing and Genesis and Tinkle Trotskie arrived to join us. Yeah, Lifa arrived too. Genesis started a circle and Hoosier Daddy got a lot of beer Down Downs. Good thing he had his leg humper to walk him home. That leg humper was all over everyone. We introduced our new virgin, Just Kelsey. Then we called out all of the returning hashers including Woody Wood Wacker, Mouthful Of Meat, Just Mike and Just Lidija. After the circle we hung around a bit, having a good time and suddenly the pack all left to go watch TV. So It was home early after a short On ON. Did I miss anyone. Oh yeah, Its Too Soft taking pictures as usual in the circle.
For you that didn’t know him, Woody Wood Wacker started hashing in Chicago many years back. Went off to serve Uncle Sam and on to college and flight school. He is now on his way to Afghanistan flying a medical evacuation helicopter. Wish him a safe return.

On On