The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 7 Feb 2010 by Horn-E
We ran out of the Hyde Park Morgue of Stab ’em & Slab ’em and she and Lifa gave us a good trail. Scribes always lie. We had 12 hounds at the start of trail and just before we left the beer stop, The Grrreat Loch Ness Cockster and Two Tickets To Pair A Thighs arrived for a 14 hound count. We took off to the south out of this alley and headed west for a block and a half and there we died. Almost. A Check. At the fist alley to the west was a Triple Split. Horn-E was to the north and checked in the alley there. But thanks to the helpful yelling out to others of what we were on, he didn’t realize there was that Triple Split and didn’t look further. It was at least five minutes later when someone finally ranged from that Triple Split and we were On. There went my energy before we even got going. Trail headed north and west and Dickens Cider was leading most of the way as we finally came to this large park. She led into the park and a Check along a path. Well, there was a bridge, or further west. She took the bridge and was soon heading out of sight and yelling On. We converged on the bridge and headed across. That’s when Happy Ass Grabber was running a little ahead with Turbo Dog when two wild dogs came running and barking from about a block away over this frozen pond. We’re looking at major dog fight, man dog fight or who knows what. Finally the dogs stopped and circled back. So turbo dog didn’t have to kick ass again. We crawled through a couple of fences and had another Check. Well, a little shiggy anyhow. Now, where would this Check go in such a wide expanse of park. Working towards the south and east and up a little hill, I could see our visitor, Sweetheart from London heading to the southwest along a path. Was he On? Nope. But I got suckered into the wrong direction just long enough to watch the pack disappearing to the east. Damn. I got to the city streets just in time to see the last of the pack several blocks ahead, except for EZ On The Ass, a half block ahead. I thought I was dead Fucking Last. But Corn Star and SnatchSquatch were behind even Horn-E. We all had to be tired from the Idiotarod yesterday. EZ On The Ass and Horn-E finally caught up to Bloody Thighs and Just Jeff, our virgin of the day. And we ran on, without to much difficulty. Lifa was sweeping and most of the Checks and Splits were marked. We ran through the University of Chicago campus and out onto the Midway Plaisance and on east and into Jackson Park. Destination the Chinese Garden on an Island. Like we haven’t been here before. And there was the pack and the beer.
After here we had a semi straight course back. Yeah sure. Left, right, left, right, through a hole in the fence, down an alley, over some fields and finally back to the morgue on University. Inside were all of the posers. To many to mention and many I didn’t even know. They were here to watch some silly football game. Well, that and the good food. Genesis soon called the circle together in the basement. The one with the ceiling two inches shorter then SnatchSquatch. The hares got and deserved many a down down. We were introduced to our virgin, Just Jeff. We also met our visitor, Sweetheart who had a great story about running trail. He was running along and saw a Harriet ahead. Looking good in tight tights. He ran up to chat her up a bit and just as he caught her, she turned his way and acthung, spittouie. Well, it was funny when he told it in the circle. Her name will remain unmentioned. We also had a chance to meet Run A Muck. Knew him from a long time ago. He needs to come on out some more. Who else was on trail? Slippery Box, Genesis, and Tinkle Trotskie who were all to far ahead to see anything they did on trail. Nice trail and a good party until that damn game came on TV.