Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1644

The Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash, Jan 31, 2010, by Horn-E

Another small turnout. What is going on here? This is at least the second time this month that Chicago Hash has had less then 10. And they missed a good hash. Overall, the best city hashing experiences this year. All right, I’m prejudiced, but those woods hashes were better. But city streets are what they are and our hare, Glory Hole laid a decent trail and had the best beer stop of the year. More on that later.
I walked into the bar with Just Valinda and there were only three hounds waiting. Yes, three. Just Steve, it isn’t normally this small. Yes, we had a virgin. But at least with a small crowd, he gets to learn more about how to hash, check etc. As we gathered outside for the chalk talk, Virgin Banger arrived. We were soon off to the north with Horn-E running along casually to our first Split. He went left and so did the trail. But another Triple Split nailed him and trail was found to the south and west through an alley. We quickly followed and two blocks later we found a Check. Chicken Stifer went south, but didn’t find anything. Virgin Banger went west, and ditto. Cum In My Ass Fault headed north in the alley and returned, nothing. Just Steve and Horn-E ranged north and around the block and found some recruits. This delay almost costs us. As we got back to the alley, we could see Just Valinda and Cum In My Ass Fault heading south in the alley in the far distance. We followed and finally caught them at Lawrence just as the light changed. Meanwhile Virgin Banger and Chicken Stifer were,,,,, I don’t know. But presumedly, far behind. Glory Hole was marking Splits and Checks and they would catch up, maybe, hopefully. We headed on south and crossed the Brown Line tracks to another Split. Just four of us now, we followed our virgin Just Steve to the east and south and to a Check. By now, the late arriving Its Too Soft managed to catch us, thanks to the sweep marks. Just Steve and Horn-E found trail to the south and east. The horn was blown and the pack of three others followed. We headed east, through a little loop and on to Lincoln Ave and a Check. Just Steve and Horn-E were working the Check when Its Too Soft finally arrived. He tends to hang around and wait for others, but finally he headed south and found the trail. So we were off heading through an alley and large park and over to Montrose. Had to be a Check here, but where. We ranged a bit before Glory Hole pointed out the Check. So Horn-E headed east and finally found the trail. It took several minutes of blowing the horn before Horn-E was spotted and the pack started to follow. This is where Chicken Stifer and Virgin Banger finally caught up. We headed over to Damen where Chicken Stifer caught a Split and led into this parking area behind a hospital. But marks couldn’t be found. Well laid here. Finally Horn-E found the marks, past and over two hospital entrance ramps while the pack followed. Besides Chicken Stifer. Naturally he couldn’t follow and he ranged to the north and east and got lucky when one of our marks got wiped out. We ranged north and there he was. We headed on north to a Check and trail was found to the east and over the Ravenswood train stop as we followed Its Too Soft. Then we headed down an alley and to a long False in a field that nailed the ranging Virgin Banger and Chicken Stifer. From here it was a short distance north on Ravenswood and around a corner to a locked door with a B in front.
When the door opened, we walked into a brewery. You got it sucka. You missed it. Well done, Glory Hole. The beer stop was in a Micro Brewery, Metropolitan Brewery. We got the full tour along with ample samples of their good, damn good lagers. That last dopple bock was smooth and 8% with only a hint of alcohol flavoring. Really good. You could drink to much of this without realizing it. Hmmm. Virgin Banger was working of getting some of this for his Memorial Day Hash beer stop. Don’t miss it.
After we left the cold brewery, it took a while to warm up and we headed to Virgin Banger’s House. Major quiet stop. For all of you who don’t know, Rent A Virgin and Virgin Banger had a little virgin last week. And we all circled around for a picture with Chicago’s newest bimbo. Then we tip toed on out and over to Cardinal Liquors on Lincoln.
When we got in, the great pretenders were waiting. Fistful Of Pricks, Shiggy Packer, Salty Gash and Poultry Fucker. And the recruit I met on trail came by to find out more and enjoyed a beer with us and watched our circle. Shiggy Packer called the circle together and we had a nice little circle. Just Steve got formerly introduced and got his down down. Hanging in back, explaining things to our recruit, I only got one down down. Chicken Stifer called me out for attacking a group of little girls on trail. Hey, you run with the joke, but two weeks ago it was Racism in his Chicken Scratches and now hinting at pedophilia, and later forcing namings at moon hashes. It seems as if he can’t quit trying to find false things to accuse me of. But it is a circle, and lets have fun, and we sang some good songs thanks to Shiggy Packer’s job of R A. We ended up with Swing Low and settled into all to much beer. Yes, I said, all to much beer. Everyone finally left and Its Too Soft and Horn-E had almost two pitchers of beer to finish. Now we did give it our best shot, but suddenly the bartender told us she had to pull the beer at 8PM. We didn’t quite make it.