Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1504

Hash Trash: 8/13/07
Hares: Cums in my Assfault & Mount Schiiinga
Venue: Holiday Club

VIRGINS: Just Katherine
HASHERS: Virtually Hung, Too Much Head, Chicken Stiffer, Salted Gash, PACKhER ARSE, Just Carrie, Just Caryn, Rhotan, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Bloody Thighs, Magnetic Muff, Dr. Poolittle, Boner Malfunction, Just Faith, Just Patty, Just Jenn, Just Carrie, Horn-e, Learning to Blow, 2 Tickets too a pair thighs, Lower Whackoff, Mouthful of Meat, Just Allan, Spotted Cock, Peterbilt, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just Tim, Just Chris, Sex Luthor

Virgins= 1
Total Hashers= 34

This hash started from The Holiday Club at 4000 N. Sheridan. Two neophyte hares laid an impressive trail for us to follow. BONER and I arrived later than usually and the place was full of hashers on this beautiful day. The manager was very happy to have us and ASSFAULT and SCHWIIINGA did the right thing by arranging us to get $5 pitchers of beer and even $6 pitchers of cider for BONER. BLOODY THIGHS was a sweetheart and collected hash cash and even kept us with beer most of the night. CALVIN was given the hash flag for his FRB impression the previous week, and JUST FAITH and JUST PATTY brought a new virgin to the hash. JUST KATHERINE came all the way from Arlington, Virginia to hash with us. The circle was done outside and soon we were off going east on Irving Park with Horn-e blowing his horn again. The trail split and went thru a parking lot north and I went the wrong way east but easily caught up with the FRB’s CALVIN and VIRTUALLY HUNG. The trail came to a check on Broadway and this time I guessed right and went north where the hares trail went into a Chicago Park. MILK MY YAK with the sun reflecting off his baldhead shone the way to the east. The trail came out on Lake Shore drive and crossed under it to Montrose. RHOTAN, JUST KATHERINE and others took the Eagle trail while MOUHFUL OF MEAT, JUST ALLAN, and others used the turkey split. The trail went west from here and JUST ALLAN found true trail.
2 TICKETS and BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED soon were seen near the front of the pack and joined with JUST KATHERINE in being the FBI’s of the pack. The pack meandered thru some sketchy neighborhoods where people egged us on go catch that BEER!!! JUST CHRIS, JUST CARYN, and BONER got into a deep conversation with the local populace about whether beer is better than Malt Liquor?? The trail soon popped out near the famous jazz place the GREEN MILL and I figured we are close enough to VIRTUALLY HUNGS place that I would make a guess after a check and run towards his place and I was correct. LEARNING too BLOW went west after that check but was soon drinking beer with me at the HOUSE of HUNG!! PACKhER ARSE and SALTED GASH pronounced that the HOUSE of HUNG was female friendly and used its facilities. MOUTHFUL of MEAT couldn’t find her glasses even though they were on top of her skull? MOUNT SCHWIIINGA let us see she was a flag girl in her previous life with an impressive showing of flag twirling in the HUNGs backyard. DR. POOLITTLE had the deep philosophical question, which all hashers have to answer Budweiser or Miller Lite?? at the beer stop. Finally the back of the pack came in with SPOTTED COCK and JUST FAITH and JUST PATTY. The pack enjoyed their beers and was soon off to the ON IN. The pack ran by Truman College and was treated to a fireworks display on the street before we got back to the bar.
Back at the Bar CALVIN ran the circle and punished those people in need CHICKEN was the FRB, JUST KATHERINE was the FBI but 2 TIKS took her place because she was also a virgin. MOUTHFUL drank for the lost glasses incident, and the hares were thoroughly bombed by the end of the night. ITS TOO SOFT, PETERBILT, and SEX LUTHOR arrived late and drank for this. MILK MY YAK was given a down down for being a SEX LUTHOR twin. The circle later tried to name JUSt CARRIE and JUST CARYN and succeed in naming JUST CARYN. She will be known as “At your Cervix.” This was great day to run and hash and all had fun. Hope to see you next week at J & L Tap.
The hash on Friday also had a happy hour where the hash presented checks in the amount of $850 to the CPD MEMORIAL FUND. BONER, CHICKEN STIFFER, JUST CHRIS, JUST CORINNE, TOO MUCH HEAD, AT YOUR CERVIX, ITS TOO SOFT, BALLSALOTPUS, MOUNT SCHWIIINGA, CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT, and JUST MIKE and others for a total of 15 hashers that partied at DUFFY’s until late in the evening. Be ready for another free happy hour at McGees in the near future.
Last night 12 hashers enjoyed watching “BUTCH CASSIDY and THE SUNDANCE KID” in Grant Park. JUST CHRIS, CHICKEN, MOUTHFUL, JUST ALLAN, BLOODY THIHGS, DICKEN CIDER, MUD SUCKER, ITS TOO SOFT, ARE THEY REAL, JUST LISA, JUST JENN, and MOUNT SCHWIINGA . Next Tuesday we will do this again around 8 pm so come join us for Movies in the park.